Hello, lovely bugs and kittens and other beautiful creatures of the world. I'm back at it again with a new ML story. And I think it'll be a long one. :)
A bit of a warning: fowl language will be in this story, as well as possible references (I repeat references) to smut. I'll give warnings per chapter when necessary (which probably isn't).
That's all. Enjoy!
The city was a lot brighter now, but to her it felt more empty.
She was lost. Felt useless. She had no purpose anymore. Stopping petty crimes and dealing a few punches to jerks was a good way to blow off steam, but it wasn't as satisfactory.
What was the point of still jumping around, on the look-out for bad guys, when the ultimate bad guy wasn't there anymore?
She should be happy for it to be all over, but she couldn't fight the dark cloud hanging above her head.
Tomorrow it would be a year. A year ago, it all stopped. A long time war came to an end. It wasn't an epic battle like she first expected, but tough nonetheless. But even though he was behind bars now, a lot of questions were still flying through her mind, even after a year.
His Miraculous was safe with Master Fu. The wise man, though pretty secretive, would protect it with his life. Ever since she handed him the mysterious book she got from Adrien, he was some sort of guide to her. Someone to lean on.
He didn't tell her much, neither about the book nor anything else. For instance, her powers or Chat Noir's for that matter, were still an enigma in lots of ways to both of them. Even though she wanted answers, he didn't provide them. He said she had to grow and learn on her own. Well, with Chat, but the point was clear.
This was also the reason Chat Noir didn't have a clue about Master Fu's existence. The old man was a huge believer in fate. Her finding the book was the reason she came to him. That was her fate. Chat Noir would maybe meet him one day too, maybe not. But whatever would happen, it was already written in destiny.
At least, according to Master Fu. Marinette wasn't entirely convinced. Wouldn't it be easier for Ladybug and Chat Noir and their 'bonding' if they could share everything? The poor boy was so confused about the residence of Hawk Moth's Miraculous. He believed her when she said it was safe, but that didn't take away his questions. She sympathized with him feeling so confused.
A feeling she herself loathed. Uncertainty. Not knowing what was going on.
It was harder now that they gotten to know each other more. Years have passed since they've met each other. Their trust in each other had to grow quickly, too quick for it to be genuine. The Akuma's gave them no other choice. They had to work together after all.
But it didn't take long for that trust, that friendship, that bond, to become real.
They were friends now, partners. They depended on each other in the heat of battle, but also with personal matters. Problems with family or school. When those topics were touched in conversation they kept being vague for the sake of their identities, but were still able to get their problems off their chests.
Their friendship wasn't like any other, Marinette concluded. Maybe it was the fact that they had to trust each other without knowing who the other was or maybe that they have grown together for the past three years.
In their own, secretive way they could tell each other everything. Maybe she didn't know who the boy behind the mask was, but she did know one thing.
He was without doubt one of her best friends.
It was moments like this, jumping with him from rooftop to rooftop, disappearing in the Parisian night, that she felt really lucky to have him by her side.
She snorted to herself. Tch, lucky.
"Anything wrong, M'Lady?" He came to a stop beside her on the edge of an apartment complex.
She smiled and waved it off. "Nothing, kitty."
He stretched his arms above his head and yawned, showing the strong muscles he earned over the years. Being Chat Noir really paid off, Ladybug thought.
"Enjoying the view?"
His chuckling pulled her from her trance. She wasn't even aware that she was staring at him. The wide, seductive grin on his face showed that he was very aware of her staring.
She scoffed. "You wish." She turned on her heel and made some distance between them, eventually leaning against a higher part of the building, probably to provide electricity, water and whatnot for all the apartments.
With her back to the wall she could see him approaching, that sly smile on his face and that glint in his catlike eyes.
He was standing in front of her now and grabbed her softly by the wrist. He planted a chaste kiss on top of her hand. "Not that I mind. You're allowed to look. I understand that I'm irresistible, I'm quite the sight."
She hummed in agreement in a mocking way, releasing his grip. He was very good looking, she couldn't argue with that. Not only had he grown a strong, yet not too muscular body, but his face was more defined too. A strong jaw, clear skin, sweet eyes. She always wondered what his real eyes would look like. When she asked one time, he explained that they were green like the eyes in his mask, so she could let her imagination give her a picture, but she couldn't help but wonder what they would look like in reality.
Though she liked his eyes in the mask too. The catlike vibe they had was interesting for her to watch. Emotion was easy to read on him. His pupils dilating or getting smaller in certain situations or the color becoming darker or brighter.
She always liked it when he was excited. His eyes would become very light green, but almost not noticeable by the way his pupils dilated and covered his eyes.
Those same eyes were squinting now, a tiny crinkle in the skin on his forehead above the mask showing a mix of amusement and confusion.
"You're doing it again."
"What?" She sounded distant, still in thought.
"Staring."
She gave him a smirk of her own and raised a brow. "I thought I was allowed to stare."
He took her teasing tone as invitation and edged closer, pinning her to the wall while one of his hands rested on her waist. "You can stare as much as you want."
She didn't tell him off. This was how he was. He was a flirt, has always been and would always be. His moves, his pickup lines were more suggestive and daring, now that they were older. If it was because he just thought he could do that because he was older or if the growth of her own body ignited something in him, she didn't know.
It wasn't like she just let it happen. She had full control. If she said stop, he stopped and apologized. In some way it was weird to her, to let a guy come so close to her without having any intentions herself. Maybe it was the hormones in her body that wanted the attention that let him do his thing. After all, there wasn't anybody else who would want to give her attention that way.
There was one guy. But the thought of him doing that to her, to hold her pinned to a wall because he wanted to was off the table. It wouldn't be happening. She knew that.
It was like she broke her own heart. Coming to the conclusion that Adrien and her weren't meant to be was a hard thing to do, but necessary. She couldn't be a stuttering mess around him for forever. Especially since he was someone who desperately needed a friend.
Adrien was best pals with Nino. He could get along with Alya too. Marinette couldn't even let one simple word pass from her to him back then, so it was hard to become friends with him.
Alya and Nino's relationship was… complicated to say the least. Marinette didn't look too much into it, but she was curious as to what to they actually were.
What she did know was that Alya liked spending time with Nino, dragging Marinette along in the process. And since Adrien was friends with Nino…
Let's just say that it didn't take long for the four of them to become a little group, hanging out all the time, sitting together in class and much more. Chloé wasn't very fond of the idea of Adrien being friends with Marinette, but she couldn't control him, of course. The relationship between Adrien and Chloé dissipated over the years, especially since the beginning of senior year. She wasn't in the same class anymore.
Spending so much time with Adrien was both a blessing and a curse for Marinette. Seeing him often actually made her able to talk to him, because she had to. Spending time together without saying anything was a bit weird after all.
But hanging out with him also meant looking at him. His beautiful face, his pale but lightly tanned skin, that hair that she wanted to mess up every day…
But that was all back then.
She could keep her cool around him now, but the thoughts. They kept coming, even now. Maybe it was some part of her that still desired him, but she could officially say that she had gotten over her crush.
She was good friends with Adrien. Nothing more.
The same was for Chat. Whatever suggestive comment he made, she never really acted onto it. Though the media said a lot about them, probably courtesy of Chat's quick interviews every once in while about their 'relationship'.
She didn't know for how long they were standing. Her back against the wall, his body flush against hers. There was no movement on either side, no conversation starting. Just staring.
"You're pretty," Chat said, breathless. He used his free hand to drag a string of her hair behind her ear. He then led his hand rest on her shoulder. She could feel his nails against the fabric.
She raised both brows at the sudden comment, but couldn't do anything else except for smile lightly. Couldn't let him know of course she liked his flirting.
Because as far as he knew, she didn't.
He raised his chin and swiftly flicked his hair. "After all, I need a pretty lady to compliment my own beauty."
She rolled her eyes, quite expecting his compliment to take this turn. "Such a tease."
"What can I say?" He shrugged.
She booped him on the nose to create more distance between them. He scrunched his nose at her touch and rubbed it, which made her giggle.
"I have the feeling you're a bit distracted tonight, M'Lady."
It was said as a fact, not a question. She felt quite flattered that he caught up to her odd behavior.
"Just a lot on my mind, that's all." She averted her gaze to the sky.
'It's tomorrow, right?"
She glanced back at him and nodded.
"Reason for a party. A big firework show." He pointed to the Eiffel Tower in the distance. "Partying into the night on top of the Eiffel Tower. You up for it?" He grinned widely.
She shook her head with an amused smile. "I have more important things to do. But you can party all you want."
"Nah, ain't no party without my bug." He winked at her.
She rolled her eyes, which was inevitable whenever Chat opened his mouth.
"But honestly, what's up? You're glum." He shifted on his other leg and crossed his arms.
When she looked back at him she saw the kind smile on his face. He was curious, worried, but not pushing it. He was waiting patiently for her to answer. She appreciated that.
"…You know what's up."
He knitted his brows together for one second in thought before catching up to her meaning. He sighed and smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I guess I do. That means you know what I'm about to say."
She sighed. "You're working yourself up over nothing. We're Ladybug and Chat Noir, Paris will always need us," she said lamely, quoting what he has said to her over a million times.
"Exactly. It may not be as exciting as it used to be, but look on the bright side. At least we can talk more and relax now on patrol!"
She smiled at him, finding his pep talk very endearing, but he could see it wasn't really doing it's job.
He tightened his grip on her shoulder and had a more serious demeanor. "Look, you're Ladybug. You're amazing! You can do so many things and even though you're maybe not necessarily 'needed' anymore, doesn't mean that people don't want you, or that you're useless. You're smart, kind, brave, selfless, witty, protective, honest…"
She hid her tiny blush behind her mask. All the compliments were rolling off his tongue so easily and she couldn't help but wonder if he had prepared this speech for a long time.
His sweet smile turned a bit more mischievous. "And not to forget, you're hot." He wiggled his eyebrows.
She clicked her tongue and shook her head. Even when he was serious he couldn't restrain this part of him.
He moved his hand from her shoulder to her cheek, which actually surprised her. Her body tensed at the touch. "No, but really, you're beautiful." His tone was soft and sweet.
How could she respond to that? He said similar things to her on a daily basis, but it was always in a flirting, teasing, joking way. But now, he sounded sincere, so vulnerable. He put his heart in every word of that sentence. What was she supposed to say to him?
He saw the surprise written all over her face. It was good surprise though, he could see that. Should he risk having this moment with her and move a little closer?
He complied to his thoughts and came closer, his nose against hers. He has never been this close to her, ever.
Maybe, just maybe…
Should he try- no, he shouldn't.
Or should he? She would always say stop when he went too far. She would do that now too.
But she didn't.
Her breath became hotter and hotter on his own lips as he leaned in closer. His gaze flickered to her lips before going back to her eyes again. A bright blue color piercing through his very soul.
Her eyes, they were gorgeous when they looked at him.
And they were gorgeous when they fluttered closed.
Wait, what?! Did she- did she really close her eyes?!
With ever centimetre he came closer he expected her to put a stop to it. But she never said a word.
More importantly, she was encouraging him! She wanted him to move in closer, waited for him.
And so he did what she wanted. Couldn't keep his Lady waiting.
Looking at her face one more time to take in her beauty, he closed his eyes and let himself get lost in the moment, a moment he dreamed about for a very long time.
Her lips were really soft and he could feel the tiny amount of chapstick on them. It wasn't unpleasant. It had a berry-like taste.
He actually had no idea what he was doing. He might be a model with lots of fangirls, but he never kissed a girl before. It was quite pathetic, he thought.
He was glad that she was his first. He hoped she was just as excited as he was. He might not be skilled, but he would do his best to make it pleasant for her.
He let his one hand stay on the side of her face. The other rested on her hip, but he moved it to the small of her back, pulling her a bit closer but not aggressively.
His movements were slow and gentle, maybe even a bit sloppy. He had no experience.
Her movements, though a bit awkward (didn't she ever kiss someone before either?), were steady. Some sort of rhythm. He tried to follow her pace to make it easier for himself.
He couldn't believe it. He was kissing Ladybug! She was kissing him back! Was she just as over the moon as he was?
Well, maybe not over the moon, but Marinette definitely wasn't on Earth anymore. She was internally freaking out.
What the hell am I doing?!
Part of her said to stop, another part of her told her to go on. This boy was into her and kissing her and she was kissing him back and and and-
Her mind went rigid. She couldn't think straight. She was screaming to herself to stop, but her body didn't cooperate.
Her mind calmed down, she was ready to end this. They were going at it for at least two minutes now, so-
Oh my god, is that his tongue?! Yup, that's definitely a tongue. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
As Alya would say it, he was shoving his tongue down her throat and she was letting it happen. Hell, she was enjoying it!
Maybe a bit too much, she thought, when the unintended moan escaped her lips. If she wasn't already red-faced by their current situation, she definitely was now. She was so embarrassed.
In response to her sound, Chat Noir ran his clawed nails up and down her back, making her gasp in pleasure.
Even though his touches were nice, the sounds she made were embarrassing to her. No, scratch embarrassed. She was mortified.
Chat Noir didn't seem to mind much. He held her tighter with every sound she made, and even groaned in return.
Finally regaining her sanity, she let herself get sucked in the moment for one more second before softly nudging him away. He eyed her with as much surprise and shock as she had at what had just occurred. Their gazes lingered shortly. After that, Marinette tried to look away, looking anywhere but at him. She noticed her hands where clutching tightly onto the material of his suit on his chest. Probably in tension.
She let go of him and pushed him away a bit more, making room for her to walk away. With her back to him she walked to the edge of the roof, rubbing the back of her neck.
Her hand was already on her yoyo, ready to swing away. She heard his feet and felt his hand on her wrist.
She didn't want to look at him. Didn't want to talk to him. He would probably ask her what she thought about what just happened. She couldn't give him the answers, she didn't know!
Without looking in his direction, she released his hand from her wrist and zipped away. He probably wouldn't follow her. He could be very unpredictable, especially in a situation like this, but he would always respect her and her wishes to keep their identities secret. She trusted that he wouldn't follow her, even if he wanted to talk to her.
When she got home through the skylight above her bed, she detransformed and put on her pyjamas. She didn't say a word to Tikki. She knew her little friend was aware of what just transpired and she could feel the Kwami's worried gaze on her.
She snuggled into her blankets lying on her left side, wanting to hide. To not think about what happened and just let the sleep take her.
She felt Tikki's weight on her shoulder. "Marinette, are you okay?"
Marinette sighed softly. She would feel bad if she didn't respond to Tikki. She was just worried. "I'm fine, Tikki."
"You want to talk about it?"
She shook her head. "Tomorrow. I just want to sleep now."
"All right. Good night, Marinette."
Marinette smiled. "Thanks, Tikki. Good night."
She closed her eyes and was ready to go to Dreamland. Only for pictures of her past occupation to pop up in her mind. She groaned and shot up, sitting up straight and sending Tikki flying in the air.
"Fine. I can't sleep right now. I just need to get it out," she grumbled, not happy that running away and sleeping it off didn't fix her problem. Well, she wasn't that surprised actually. Life didn't work that way.
Tikki rolled her eyes, not in an exasperated way, more in an amused way. After having gotten to know her charge over the past years, she expected this to happen.
Marinette took a deep breath. She wanted to say so many things, but didn't know what to say first. Tikki waited patiently for her to start her rant.
"I just don't know what happened," was the only thing she could say.
"Something sweet and romantic!" Tikki twirled around in delight. "Took you kids long enough."
Marinette's eyes became big. "Tikki! You're not helping. This is not what I want, I think. I just got a little carried away, I guess."
"Carried away, huh?" She raised a knowing brow.
"Okay, I was totally aware of what I was doing. But I wasn't thinking about him! He was just being very helpful and sweet because I was worried about literally everything and- and then I was also thinking about Adrien, and I don't know why, but thinking about him just made me sort of happy again, which was odd because I've gotten over him, but apparently not completely. And Chat was just standing there, so close and with that stupid, stupid, cocky smile of his and then it just happened!"
She flopped back onto her bed with her hands covering her face and groaned. "I just don't know what to do, how to feel and what I should say. I probably can't even look at him next time we have joined patrol."
Tikki went to sit on Marinette's forehead and petted her. "Oh, Marinette. You're always so good at overthinking everything. Maybe you should just… see what'll happen. This is something new and exciting! You said it yourself, you've gotten over Adrien, right?"
It took her a second to answer, thinking shortly about it. "Yes, I am. At least, I think I am. I don't know anymore."
"Well, whatever will happen, you should not let Adrien prevent something happening that could be just as amazing! This is not the first time a Ladybug and Chat Noir have fallen in love, you know?"
She crossed her eyes to her forehead to look at the red Kwami. "I'm not in love with him! I kissed him once, well twice, but those were not actually intended, well the second maybe a bit intended, but you get the point. Something that was not supposed to happen, happened. And now I've got to deal with the consequences and I'm not sure if I'm up for it. I'm just a bit lost now." Marinette looked expectantly at Tikki. "Just tell me what to do."
Tikki sighed in sympathy and petted her once more. "I'm not going to do that. I'm here to help you become Ladybug, I'm here to guide you through your life, but I can't help you with everything. Part of growing up is learning to stand on your own."
"But what if I don't want to yet? I know I'm almost eighteen, but I'm still in high school, if only for a few months. I don't want to make those decisions yet!" She put her hands back to her face and murmured into them again. "At least give me a tiny bit of advice?"
Tikki was silent for a while, thinking through what she should say. "You should look at all your choices and really think about what feels right. But just because you have multiple choices doesn't mean you should always pick one of them."
She raised a brow, which tilted Tikki a bit to the side. "And by that you mean…"
"Just follow your heart. You said one time that a good superhero thinks with their head, which I agree with, but there is a reason the heart is the ultimate organ that keeps you alive. To live life to fullest and to be absolutely happy, you need to listen to your heart."
Marinette sighed. "That's all you're gonna say, huh?"
Tikki smiled, a bit sassily. "What did I just say?"
"Yeah, yeah, you can't help me with everything." She took a steadying breath and pulled the blankets back to her shoulders. "Thanks, Tikki. I think I can sleep now."
Tikki giggled in response and snuggled in between Marinette's neck and her pillow, ready to let the sleep take her as well.
He didn't want to go to school. There was too much on his mind. Plagg wasn't helping either. The black Kwami was mostly laughing till his stomach hurt whenever Adrien mentioned anything about yesterday.
He just wanted to get his feelings off his chest. But apparently there was no one he could talk to. No one willing to listen.
Granted, the only one he could talk to about this was Plagg, but still.
He passed by everyone in the hallway, not even saying hi to the people he knew by face. He didn't feel like small talk.
Plumping down in his seat, he retrieved his tablet and phone from his bag. He opened his phone and pretended to be busy so no one would bother him.
That was, until he was shoved by his arm. He almost dropped his phone, but was able to rescue it in time.
Turning his eyes to the one who shoved him, offended, he saw it was a dark-haired girl with pigtails, having a playful smile on her face.
Oh, right. I sit next to Marinette during this class
He hadn't even seen her when he sat down.
"Rude," Adrien commented. He still let the little bit of offense be noticeable for her in his voice, but his gaze wasn't sharp anymore.
"You're one to talk. You don't even greet me, you completely ignored me when I said hello, and you just went on your phone not speaking to me at all. That's what I call rude." She crossed her arms and looked away, pretending to be hurt, but the tiny smile on her face gave away that she wasn't actually mad.
Adrien sighed and dropped his face to the table, bumping his forehead against it a few times before letting it rest on the cool surface. "I'm sorry, Mari. I just- I'm not really myself today."
Her arms fell to her sides and she frowned. She didn't expect such a down response. Hesitating shortly, not sure what to do, Marinette eventually put her hand on his back and rubbed it. "Oh, uhm, there there."
He turned his face to her to rest on his cheek so he could see her, but not having to lift his head. "Seriously?" He smiled weakly.
"Well, what am I supposed to do? Maybe I can help you better if you talk to me about it. I'm a good listener."
Adrien thought about that for a moment. He knew Marinette was a good listener, very helpful and kind too, she was class president for two years in a row. She was a good friend, she was always there for him and anybody else for that matter.
Maybe if he would be vague he could talk to her about it. He just really had to talk to someone.
Adrien went to sit straight and lifted his head so he could properly see her in conversation. He tapped his chin a few times, trying to find the right words to say.
"Well, there is this… girl."
"Ah, a girl…"
Even though she wiggled her eyebrows teasingly, Adrien was sure he noticed a slight change in her body. Did she look a bit sad? Defeated?
"Yes. We, uhm, see each other often, we talk a lot, she's really nice and all, but I did something really stupid and now it's all a bit awkward, I guess. I don't really know what to do."
Marinette smiled in pity at his worried rambling and put a hand on his arm. "Being a girl myself, I can speak from experience when I say that most girls don't like it when guys do stupid stuff." She chuckled. "But, it also depends on what 'stupid thing' you did. You're a sweet guy, it probably can't be that bad, right?"
Adrien gulped. Was kissing a girl he wasn't sure about if she wanted to be kissed by him considered bad? But she gave him so many signs that she did! Right?
The internal panic was easy to read on him. Marinette cocked a brow. "Is it?"
Adrien bit his lip. This was a bad idea. He should have just kept his mouth shut, he was creating unnecessary drama. But he couldn't back out now. Knowing Marinette, she wouldn't let it rest until he fully explained what happened. She was always so easily worried about other people, especially her friends.
He could just say he kissed a girl, right? Not too detailed, but still explaining the situation. And if she asked who the girl was he could just say that he didn't want to tell her name until it was all sorted out.
Yeah, that was a good plan.
He took a deep breath. "Well, that's up to you if you consider it bad. The thing is, I ki-"
"OH MY GOD! MARINETTE, GIRL! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS!"
Alya came bursting in the classroom. Looking around swiftly, she eventually came running towards Adrien and Marinette's joined table after spotting the latter. She was holding her phone tightly in her hand and was pattering in her place in excitement once she reached the table.
"Good morning, Marinette. Nice to see you. How has your day been?" Marinette said sarcastically and with an eye roll.
"Yeah, yeah, sorry. But I've got great news. You just have to see this!" She got even more excited if that was even possible.
"What can be so important that-"
Marinette was halted in her words when Alya shoved the phone in her face. Holding it to move it farther from her face to be actually able to see it, she could see it was a picture.
She turned pale. All breath was pulled from her lungs and she felt like fainting. She bit her tongue to stop herself from screaming out loud. She could taste blood.
This is not happening. This is not happening.
"Isn't it amazing? Someone snapped a pic of Chat Noir and Ladybug kissing yesterday! It's a pity though I wasn't the lucky one the take the picture. But doesn't matter anyway, I'm so gonna put this on the Ladyblog!"
Marinette handed Alya her phone back and smiled weakly. She was really trying to make sure she didn't throw up.
"What do you think is going on? Do you think this has been going on for a while? Maybe they're a couple! Took them long enough anyway." Alya pressed her phone to her heart and sighed dreamily.
"I-it doesn't necessarily have to be that they're, you know, a couple, right? Or maybe it's not true at all, someone could have just photoshopped it. You can do a lot with computers lately."
Marinette turned to Adrien, who had spoken. He sounded so awkward and was stuttering. Was he just as worked up about this as she was?
"Damn, Agreste. Way to burst my bubble. Let me just be happy for minute, okay?" Alya put her hands on her hips and clicked her tongue.
He put his hands up defensively. "I'm just saying that you shouldn't believe everything you see before you have actual proof that it happened."
"Well then, next time I see them I'll hold them up and ask them. They can't deny it if I show them the picture, right?"
After hearing Alya's plan, Marinette and Adrien shared the same thoughts.
Next time on patrol they would definitely avoid her.
When more people entered the classroom, including the teacher, Alya went to her seat behind, Nino eventually joining her.
Marinette almost had to gag at how her friends were behaving. They were obviously flirting with each other, like all the time, but whenever Marinette asked about it they would just deny it.
Oh well, they would figure it out eventually.
As class started, most people started to pay attention. With emphasis on most.
Adrien couldn't keep his attention. Knowing that their kiss was out to the public now was worrisome. Ladybug wasn't already too keen on discussing what happened, if he took yesterday as any indication, so if they would be bombarded by the public she would close off entirely.
He didn't want that to happen. He couldn't let that happen. He would talk to her. He had to talk to her.
He needed to know what they were. Whatever happened yesterday, it meant something. At least, to him.
With stressing out over what happened yesterday, he never gave himself time to actually think about it. What did he think of it?
Well, in all honesty, it was the best experience in his entire life. He kissed the woman he loved. Yes, he loved her. He has said it to himself over a million times and wasn't afraid to say it again.
Plagg kind of disagreed with that. He understood Adrien worshipped her, cared about her and adored her, but until he would know who she really was and care about that side as well, he couldn't say he loved her.
Adrien couldn't disagree with that, even if he wanted to. He brushed off the comment though and just said that Plagg didn't understand. He could only love cheese, that wasn't the same.
But secretly he did think about letting go of his feelings. Was all this pining really worth it if she would never feel the same way?
That was, until yesterday. There was progress. A spark. He has been holding out his hand for her for a long time and she finally dared to grab it.
Now was the question: was she going to hold on?
He would figure it out tonight. It was her turn to do patrol alone this night, but he was going to crash the party. If she didn't know he was coming she couldn't hide from him.
He felt tugging to his sleeve. Turning his head, he saw Marinette leaning closer to say something.
"You never finished your story," she whispered.
Oh, she didn't forget he was telling her.
Just when he thought he was going to get away with it.
"N-no, it's fine. I'll talk to her, everything will be okay."
"You sure? I can help if you want me to."
"No, really it's all right, Marinette. Thanks though, you're too sweet." He patted her on the shoulder.
Quickly nodding and turning away from him to hide her sudden blush, Marinette noticed eyes burning in her back.
She expected it be Alya, so she was readying her 'it's nothing' face, but when she turned around she saw it was Nino who was looking at her.
And he was smirking at her.
Oh, how she wanted to wipe that smirk off his face.
While, after a lot of convincing, Alya agreed with Marinette when she said she didn't have feelings for Adrien anymore, Nino wasn't so easily fooled.
It wasn't even about fooling him, it was the truth. She didn't have feelings anymore! She did not have feelings for him anymore.
Okay, maybe a little. It's not like that can go away in the blink of an eye.
And Nino could very well catch up to that. Much to Marinette's annoyance.
She stuck her tongue out in response and focused again on her tablet. Pretending to be scribbling down words, Marinette got lost in her thoughts once again.
Tikki was nice to talk to yesterday. She could just let everything out and she knew she wouldn't be judged. But her saying she had to figure things out on her own wasn't really helping to ease her anxiety.
Really, the choice could be easy. Just leave Adrien alone, he wasn't the one, and see what would happen between her and Chat, someone who was obviously into her.
What should make the choice even easier is the fact that, apparently, Adrien was interested in someone else, if she could go by his story. That made him even more unapproachable.
You see? You're being ridiculous! You were over Adrien, now don't you dare put yourself through this again. Let go of him. It's not going to happen. Period.
Easier said than done, but she had to manage. If she wouldn't she would not only be the cause of her own head explosion, but she could risk her friendship with Adrien.
Okay, that was narrowed down. No Adrien for Marinette.
Next step: what to do with Chat Noir.
It wasn't like she didn't like him, he has always had a special place in her heart. She just didn't know how big that place was and with what kind of love she wanted it to be filled.
Over the years she has let Chat in, he became an important part of her life. While he obviously had romantic feelings for her, she wasn't sure how she felt about him. She just never thought about him that way, because of Adrien. But now that he was out of the picture…
Did she want to commit to a person she basically didn't know? Did she care about him that much that she could give herself to him, to not be afraid to be vulnerable, to share every part her of life, including the part he didn't know yet?
She didn't know. She honestly didn't know. Maybe she should talk to him about it, at least that was probably what the Tikki inside her head was saying, but she didn't want to. It was too soon, she had to clear her head first.
Luckily, she had patrol alone today, it was Monday. It was divided like that. On Monday and Thursday it was her turn, on Tuesday and Friday it was his turn and on Wednesday and the weekends they would patrol together.
She could use the two extra days to collect her thoughts. To think about what she wanted to say.
Hopefully everything would work out for the best. The last thing she wanted was for their relationship to break. She couldn't lose her partner.
She didn't know what she would do if that happened.
It was just after dinner, not too long away from patrol. Alya stayed for dinner by surprise, so the girls were still in Marinette's room. Marinette was sketching some designs while Alya was updating her blog via Marinette's computer.
She was uploading the Ladybug and Chat Noir picture. It took Marinette a lot of effort to not groan out loud whenever Alya talked about it or when she glanced at the screen and saw said picture.
"My blog is gonna explode after I post this! Some people have already seen the news though. But still! It's the most exciting news I've had in weeks."
"Hm-hm," Marinette responded absentmindedly. She was too caught up into her sketch, partly because she wanted to block out anything having to do with the picture.
"They have been very low key ever since that butterfly dude got caught. I understand that they don't have a lot to do now, but my blog is suffering from it. I've got barely anything new to post!"
Another agreeing sound, Marinette pretending to be listening.
Alya spun the chair around to the chaise, where Marinette was sitting. "I just kind of hope a new villain appears. Paris will be a lot more exciting then."
That did catch her attention. She looked up from her sketchbook and gave Alya a baffled stare. "How you could say that? What about all the damage that has been done? All the people that were hurt? You want to go through that again?"
Alya folded her arms. "Chill, girl. I was just kidding. Besides, if it would happen we've got Ladybug and her cure to fix everything, right?"
Some part of her was filled with joy at how her best friend trusted her abilities so much, another part of her thought it was terrifying to carry that burden.
"I'm not just talking about people getting hurt physically. It can be quite traumatic, you know, to see your friend become a villain or to see your house getting destroyed right in front of you."
Alya propped her glasses up her nose. "Are you talking about me? Because that was years ago, I'm over it."
Marinette shrugged and looked away. Of course it had hurt her to see her best friend get akumatized. It was even worse to fight her. In the moment of battle she couldn't think about that, she had to fight, but the guilt afterwards was heavy.
"Oh, Marinette." Alya got up from the desk chair and squeezed next to her, wrapping her in her arms. "I'm okay. I'm not hurt or traumatized. Chloé just pissed me off and I acted onto that in the wrong way-"
Marinette interrupted her. "You were being taken advantage of. Every one gets mad sometimes. It's just crazy that you can't even feel such an emotion without fearing to become a villain." She had put her sketchbook away in the meantime and wrapped her arms around her legs.
"But that's over now. Like I said, Chat Noir and Ladybug kicked his butt. That's why I trust them so much. In my opinion, there isn't a thing LB can't do."
"I just don't know if you should… depend on Ladybug that much. She can't fix everything, even if she wanted to." Her last words were whispered.
"But I do and I'm not afraid to show my support for her."
Alya gave Marinette one last, encouraging squeeze on the shoulder before going back to the computer and continuing to upload her post.
Not too much later, Alya's phone buzzed, indicating she got a text. When she checked it, she snorted.
"What?" Marinette asked.
Alya shook her head and put her phone back on the desk after replying. Barely a minute later she got another text, which made her laugh out loud.
"Okay, that's it. What's so funny?"
"It's nothing," she responded, trying to contain her laughter.
"Well, it seems really funny otherwise you wouldn't be laughing." She crossed her arms defiantly.
"Don't mom me, Mari. Can't I laugh at my phone?"
"I just want to join in on the fun is all." She pouted and showed puppy dog eyes.
"I'm just texting with Nino."
Marinette smirked. "Oh, now I understand why I can't see."
"What's that supposed to mean?" She said accusingly.
Marinette stood up and put a hand on the desk chair. "I'm just saying, you guys have been… whatever you are for a while now. I wouldn't be surprised if he would send you dick pics."
Alya snorted. "Why would I be laughing then?"
"I don't know. Knowing you, and I do, you would laugh in his face about the size or something."
They both laughed at that. Alya being off guard now, Marinette snatched her phone and went to Nino and her's conversation.
"Wait! Mar-"
"What!?" Alya tried to regain the phone, so Marinette held it above her own head. "Why are you guys talking about Adrien and me?"
"No reason," Alya said, now standing up to reach her phone.
Marinette read more of the conversation. "Oh. My. God. You guys are the worst. How many times do I have tell you that I'm over him? God!"
"We weren't just talking about that, Nino only mentioned it." Alya eventually gave up and sat down in de spiral chair again. "But anyway, since you're reading it either way, scroll up. You'll eventually see where the conversation started."
Marinette did as she was told to and scrolled to the beginning of the conversation of that day.
Marinette gasped after reading a certain part. She then returned the phone to Alya. "No. No way."
"We just suspect it. We don't know, don't get your hopes up."
Marinette shook her head. "It's not true anyway."
Alya raised a brow. "So you don't think he likes you? How are you so sure?"
"Because he likes another girl. He told me."
Alya was obviously surprised. "Really? Who?"
"I don't know. He never finished his story. The only thing I know is that he likes this girl, but he messed up for some reason and now he wants to fix it."
"Bummer. TBH, you guys would be perfect for each other. You're both the biggest dorks in the universe."
"I'm just glad I'm over that 'foot in mouth' phase. I'm really happy we're friends now."
"But what if you could be more-"
"No, Alya!" Her friend flinched at her exclamation. Marinette took a deep breath to calm herself down. "It's just… it was just a silly crush, okay?" At least, that's what she kept telling herself. "Even if we, for some strange reason, would become 'something', it wouldn't be real. I don't want some stupid fling, I want the real deal. Love. We're friends now, because I'm over him and he likes someone else, done. Can we please just let this die now?"
Alya smiled. "Fine, but you're not stopping me from figuring out who this girl is and giving her a lesson about not messing with my ship." She pointed a finger.
Marinette facepalmed and groaned. "Alya…"
"What?" She acted as innocent as she could.
Marinette sighed. "Instead of burying your head into my love life, maybe you should look at your own."
"…I don't know what you're talking about." She looked away, a tiny blush appearing on her face.
"You totally do! Just tell me, what's up with Nino? Are you guys a thing or not?"
Alya sighed. "It's… complicated. He's cool, and he thinks I'm cool, but we're just not moving forward. I guess we just both want different things, so we're never on the same line. Oh well."
"Oh well? Oh well?! Don't say that!" Marinette shook her friend's shoulders. "Just talk it out. Don't give up if you haven't even tried it."
Alya laughed. "Again, you're very good at dishing out advice, but you really need to take some yourself."
Marinette let go of Alya and scoffed. "What's between Adrien and I, has nothing to do with what I'm talking about." Chat Noir on the other hand…
"All right, all right. But seriously, call me when he proposes."
"Alya!"
The air was chilly, it being January now. As usual, not much was happening. Maybe Alya was right, a new villain would make life a bit more exciting again.
Ladybug shook that thought off immediately. No, it was too much to risk. The whole city, the people living in it, she wouldn't let them go through that again.
She would take Chat's advice and relax a bit. She went to the Eiffel Tower to sit on the top, legs dangling.
With everything on her mind today, she hadn't even thought about the date of today, even if she talked about it yesterday.
Today, a year ago, it was all over. She still wasn't used to not having to fight an Akuma every now and then. It was dull, sure, but it was worth it if it meant that the city was safe.
She felt her right side buzz. She clicked the cheap phone from her suit to check the message.
They had those for a while. They could use their weapons as communication, but when one of them wasn't transformed it was pretty impossible to reach the other if necessary. That's why they both agreed to buy a cheap phone so they didn't have to give each other their real number.
She had one of those flip phones, with T9 and everything. It was terrible, but she had to make do.
While Marinette always said it was for use in case of emergency, Chat Noir was more of the casual texting.
CN: Are you bored?
Marinette rolled her eyes. Typical. She wasn't sure if she should respond, she hadn't talked to him since yesterday. She still would feel bad though if she didn't.
LB: I suppose you're the one that's bored.
His response was quick.
CN: It's always boring without you.
Was that an attempt at flirting? Or was he just speaking the truth? He did say that he wasn't really the social type until he became Chat Noir, and that he wasn't on the best terms with his family. How many friends did he have?
She still wasn't sure how to respond. Apparently, her non-response was too long for him.
CN: Whatcha doing?
LB: Wouldn't you like to know.
CN: Yes. That why I asked. :)
Marinette snorted.
LB: I bet you're alone in your room eating Cheetos until you don't fit in your suit anymore.
CN: There is still some left in the bag. My room has place for you ;)
Okay, that was definitely flirting. Not that she was expecting any less from him.
LB: You mean that room that can hold the entire French army and still be too big? :p
It took him a while to reply.
CN: It's just making me feel lonely.
She felt a bit sorry for him. He always complained about his home life and how liberating it was to be Chat Noir. Even though she was very lucky with her family and friends, she understood where he was coming from.
Nothing could replace being Ladybug. It was amazing.
LB: Such a sad kitty. Can't you just text one of your friends?
CN: I'm texting you, right?
She was about to text back when she heard something, or someone, behind her. She knew it was a person for sure when she heard them gasp.
"M'Lady, you're having a party without me? How dare you! I thought you didn't feel like celebrating." He feigned being stabbed and tumbled onto his butt next to her.
Now that he was next to her the realization hit her that he was here. With her. Probably wanting to talk.
Nope, not gonna happen. I'm not ready.
"You tricked me into thinking you were home," she said.
He totally ignored her. "Look what I've got." He had a smug grin, so she expected something big. He pulled an object from behind his back.
She stared at it a few seconds. "A party popper? You want to shoot confetti?"
"It's not fireworks, but it's time to celebrate, right?" He said with a broad smile. He put the popper in her hands. "You do the honors."
She shook her head and gave it back. "No. It's your thing, you bought it. I'll watch."
He nodded and stood up, ready to pop. "Ready? Or do you want to say some words first?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"Well, about Hawk Moth or, I don't know, your powers. Something you're proud of."
She laughed. "Nah, I'm good."
"Okay, well I do want to say something." He took a deep breath. "I hope that from this day on, no more evil will arise. Not only in this city, but the entire world. And if fate wants to tempt us, we'll be ready to protect each and everyone we can."
Ladybug stared in awe at his speech.
"I also want to say, that we couldn't have done it without each other. We're a team. I'm so glad that you're my Ladybug."
He looked down at her to see her smile at him.
"It's an honor to fight next to you, M'Lady."
She could feel the tears prickling her eyes. She closed them and nodded, hoping he wouldn't see.
He wasn't looking at her anymore, but at the sky. He held the popper higher, ready to fire. "I'm so happy that I can be myself with the person I care about most. So, thank you for that."
A silent tear escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek.
The sound of the popper echoed around them. Colorful confetti fell down to the ground with twirling movements. He turned around to look at her and noticed the tears. He dropped the popper and raced towards her.
"Hey, hey, it's okay." He sat down next to her. "What's the matter?"
She wiped away one of the tears. "It's nothing. It was just a beautiful speech."
He smiled teasingly. "Oh, so my bug has a weakness for pretty words, huh?" He moved his hand to her face to wipe another tear away. His hand lingered on her cheek until he let it rest there completely to hold her face. "Hey, can we talk about-"
She removed his hand. "Please, no. I don't want to-
"But M'Lady I-"
"And please, stop calling me that."
At her words, she could see his heart shatter. His ears dropped.
"I see. Is that how you really feel? Took you long enough to say it. Could have spared me a lot of heartache." He crossed his legs and looked down to the city.
She didn't like his tone.
She needed to say something, but what were the right words to say? She sighed. "I just want something serious."
"So what we have cannot become serious?" His response was quick, sharp.
"I want someone who likes me for me."
"But I-"
"The real me. Who knows all parts of me."
He eyed her with one eyebrow raised. "We both know there's a way to make that happen." A short silence. "Now is the question: do you want that?"
Marinette thought about that for a second. What did she want? "I don't know... I suppose I'm just waiting for someone who really loves me, whatever I might have hidden be damned."
Chat Noir sighed and looked up at the sky again. "You're so smart LB, you really are. But there are still so many things you apparently don't see."
That response was unexpected. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Years. It has been years since we first met. Since you literally came crashing into me. Ever since that day I..." He never finished his sentence. "It's up to you."
Ladybug was really confused at that. He could read it from her face, asking him to elaborate.
"It was fun at first. Little bit of teasing. A suggestive comment here and there. Shallow touches. But then it started to mean so much more to me and you don't even realize it!" He raised his hands in exasperation.
He stood up.
"And I have no clue what you're thinking. No clue how you feel."
Another pause.
"For years I've… put my hand out, ready for you to grab it. Oftentimes I even tried to grab yours, to see what you wanted, but you neither pulled back nor grasped it. And I'm tired of it. Tired of being stuck in this sea of confusion and uncertainty. Of wanting something, but you're not sure if you can have it. Not sure if you're even worth of it. If you even deserve it."
He paced around during his rant, not looking her in the eye.
"I have made my feelings pretty clear, but it's your call to answer. I was always so afraid of letting it all out, of fearing the outcome. What you might say, or rather, not say. I wasn't prepared to be hurt so I kept everything in, but that hurts just as much. I'm still terrified of the outcome, but I don't care what outcome I will get. Whatever will happen, if this story gets a happy or sad ending, I don't care. Maybe it will hurt, maybe not, that's up to you. But I'm tired. Sick of waiting for you to… grasp my hand."
His voice was a bit rough from the emotion in his words. He grabbed his baton from his back and twirled it in his hand.
"For one last time I will do it. One last time I will reach out my hand for you. And I will wait for you to either grab it gently or pull it off, limb and all."
After contemplating his words, she finally spoke, barely above a whisper. "And what if I'm still unsure if I should... how you say it, grab your hand?"
He turned to look at her. "Unsure or scared? Because it doesn't matter what it actually is. Uncertainty is a way of being scared. You can let the fear swallow you whole and control you. Or you can say 'fuck it' and push that fear away." He noticed that he raised his voice, so he softened his tone. "I understand that... trying to reach my hand is just as scary as me putting it out, but not knowing what to do is way scarier, believe me."
He was finally ready to leave. He lengthened his staff.
"My arm is just getting tired, okay. Whatever you want, I'll be fine with it. And I know it sounds a bit selfish, but I don't want to hurt because you don't know what you want. Because hurting others because of your own insecurities, that's selfish."
He vaulted away, leaving Ladybug a gaping mess.
And a new story is done! I'm pretty excited to continue writing this.
Don't worry, I haven't neglected my other stories. I'm just writing a million things at a time, so it takes a long time. Hope you don't mind.
Until next time!