Let Them Laugh, See if It Matters
Summary: After the baseball fiasco Howard needs some support. Bernadette is there to comfort him the way only she can. (Post 8x03, Howardette)
Disclaimer: I do not own the show, nor do I make any profit out of this story
Warning: Spoilers for 8x03
The ride home was silent, safe for the annoying pop song Raj had put on the radio and the occasional exasperated sigh coming from Howard.
"You sure you're okay, honey?" – Bernadette asked, shooting him a concerned look from the front seat. Of course the question was a rhetorical one, but still she had to ask – wife's duty.
"Perfect, why wouldn't I be? I mean it's not like I just got laughed at and booed by the entire stadium." – the engineer huffed, eyes on the road.
Bernadette had the urge to roll her eyes but knew better not to, after all the other was already upset and she didn't want to get into a fight.
"Well, coming to think about the situation could have been a lot worse." – the astrophysicist mused, his voice booming over the music.
"Oh, really? Please tell me how could the situation be worse than being made fun by everyone on the field?"
"Well, for example you could've been made fun by the entire world if baseball was a popular worldwide." – the foreigner hummed, earning himself a death glare from Bernadette.
"Raj, I don't think you're helping too much here." – she commented, turning back to face him.
The scientist raised his hands in defeat and continued to sing along to whatever consumerist song he had chosen this time until Howard abruptly stopped the music, making Raj protest loudly.
"I'm really not in the mood. Just be glad I didn't drop you off two blocks ago."
"Wow, someone's on their period." – the astrophysicist mumbled, proving yet again your IQ score doesn't always correspond with your level of maturity.
Bernadette only rolled her eyes, feeling yet again as if she wasn't a wife and a friend but rather a babysitter.
The rest of the ride is tense and Howard even refuses to say goodbye to Raj, settling for an over the top dramatic glare.
The blonde chuckles lightly but then decides to mask it with a cough, because she doesn't want to be on the receiving end of that glare too.
What she doesn't want either though is another one of those moments when Howard breaks down for the most ridiculous, petty reason and she has to be the one to comfort him.
It's not that she doesn't appreciate his honesty – she really does and loves that about him – but at the same time she needs support and care too and there are moments when she feels as though he doesn't even notice that, too busy caught up is his own issues, real or not.
Still she knows the other is upset and honestly there is no one but her that can fix that.
It gives her a warm, fluttery feeling in her chest, knowing she's everything to someone and that someone is everything to her.
She wonders how many people can say the same about their marriage.
They're sitting in the living room, watching to some brainless on TV just for the sake of having some excuse not to talk about what has happened. Except Bernadette knows the other needs to talk and so she reaches for the remote to shut off the procedural cop show that's currently on.
Howard beats her to it and a small smile creeps on her face. It's like even their actions are sometimes synchronized.
"Did you see how they laughed at me? How they booed?" – the engineer cries out, giving her a desperate look.
Bernadette honestly doesn't care about the whole baseball fiasco. She does care about Howard though.
"Yeah, I think everybody did."
"Well, that's exactly the point!" – the other exclaims, running a hand through his hair – "Everybody made fun of me! It was like high school all over again! Except the stadium was bigger."
The blonde sighs, exasperated. She fails to see what's the problem.
"So? Who cares what those people think of you?"
"I care! Of course I care!"
"But why?" – the biologists demands, moving closer to her husband and putting a hand over his shoulder.
"Because I want others to respect me." – Howard mumbles under his breath, ashamed to look her in the eye.
Bernadette gulps, realizing this is no ordinary event. It's not about the baseball thing, it's about Howard and how he fails to see himself the way she sees him.
"I respect you. Raj respects you, though he may not always show it the best of ways. Your friends and family respect you, why would it matter what anyone else in the world thinks?"
The engineer sniffles, throwing her a look that is equal parts desperate and adorable in her opinion. Maybe she is attracted to weird things, whatever.
"You're right I guess…it's just that I don't want to have a bad reputation. I want my name to mean something."
Bernadette raises an eyebrow, giving him a questioning look. She doesn't understand what he's talking about. She knows the other isn't the most confident person in the universe (and that's a very mild way of putting it) but this seems a weird thing to say even for him.
"Why would you care so much about what your name means to other people?" – she intrigues, her tone soft.
"Well isn't it obvious?" – the engineer chuckles mirthlessly – "Because I'm not the only one to carry it."
"Howie, you know I don't care what other think-" – and then she stops.
She realizes now – he isn't talking about her. This isn't about him either, it's about them and well…
"Oh." – is all she manages to say.
"You know I want our children to be proud of their dad. One day, I want them to be able to say they're Walowitz without shame."
Bernadette can feel her throat clench and her chest tighten at his words. There, right there before her is Howard Wolowitz in all his glory. This uncertain, cynical man who worries about the kind of reputation their future children are going to have.
It makes her love him all the more.
"And they will be." – she says in a determined tone and that alone is somehow able to put a smile on his face.
"Really, you think so?" – he asks in a small voice, finally meeting her eyes.
She nods, offering him a reassuring smile.
"Why wouldn't they be? They'll have a good, honest, hard working father who'd give the world for them."
Howard gives her a long, thoughtful look like ones she thought only existed in movies to make the sales go up. His eyes are no longer filled with sadness or bitterness and she can't help but feel proud she's the only one who can cheer him up in a matter of minutes.
He leans in for a kiss and gives in right away. It's not passionate or rushed, it's somehow warm and domestic even if that's a weird way of describing it.
"How did I get a woman like you in the first place?" – he asks after breaking the kiss, voice full of affection.
"You'd better appreciate her." – Bernadette chuckles, taking his hand.
It's then that Howard's phone makes the familiar sound, indicating someone's decided to chat with him.
"It can wait." – the blonde reassures, leaning in for another kiss, this on his neck. She undoes the top buttons of his shirt, giving him a suggestive look.
"It'll just take one second." – the engineer pleads and she is reminded once again though she loves him very much, he his flaws.
The moment he looks at the screen of his phone, his face falls once again and she can hear him sigh in defeat.
"Apparently someone uploaded a video of my outstanding performance. Kripke sent me a link."
And then he sinks into self pity once again and Bernadette can help but full a little bit of anger towards him, casting him an annoyed look.
"Really, you'd rather pout about what strangers think than have some quality time with your wife?"
Howard gapes, unable to believe what she's just said.
"Oh, excuse me if I have feelings! I am a very sensitive man, you know that!" – he declares, giving her a scorn.
"Yeah, and I love that about you but sometimes you need to learn how to get over it and enjoy what you have. Things aren't always going to go your way, Howie."
He falls quiet and time stretches as he struggles to come with some sort of objection to that.
Bernadette sees the hesitation in his eyes, so before he can speak she leans in for another kiss.
"Let them laugh, see if it matters." – she says, meeting the familiar blue eyes. – "What we have hear, this is what matters."
Howard responds to the kiss and takes in the words. How can he argue with that?
"You're amazing, you know? And your opinion is the one that means the world to me." – he admits, his tone serious and sincere.
His words earn him a warm, welcoming smile that manages to erase the significance whole baseball fiasco, and every other fiasco in his life for that matter.
Author's Note: Hey, guys I hope you liked this! I love Howardette and think there's simply isn't enough of them in the fandom! Also I enjoy writing things inspired by the episodes, so if you have any suggestion – feel free to share!
Please review and tell me what you think!