...I'm sorry. XD This entire crack fic was spawned by me ranting to Copper about how Ichigo is apparently incapable of remembering new attack names, and thus, must have three attacks by the same goddamned name, which then lead to us discussing what the "final" Getsuuga Tenshou would be. I'm still not quite sure how Pokemon got dragged into this, though.
Err...this is my first time ever doing crack. So be gentle. ^^ I'm not so good at humor, I think.
Me no own Bleach. If I did, there would be no such thing as shirts for ze male shinigami. Unless they really, really needed it.
Teeth gritted. His eyebrows furrowed. With a low growl, Ichigo loosened his grasp on the hilt of Zangetsu.
All the better to throw with.
Aizen, with his freaky reverse eyes, stared back blandly. "No father with you?"
"Shaddup," Ichigo snarled. His hand slipped down to the butt of the hilt and grasped it, somewhat awkwardly.
"Careful, Captain," Ichimaru drawled, with his freaky foxy face smiling. "I think he might throw that at cha."
Aizen studied the substitute shinigami apathetically. "You always could, you know. It might be marginally more effective than your other attacks."
Ichimaru snickered. "You actually gonna throw that?"
"Yeah, actually. I am."
Face crumpled into seriousness, Ichigo heaved his arm back and then threw his butcher knife zanpaku-to towards Aizen and Ichimaru as hard as he could. "Zangetsu, I choose you!"
With a flash of bright light, the personification of his sword replaced the actual blade. The older man stared menacingly at Aizen.
"Zangetsu! Use 'The Final Getsuuga Tenshou!'" Ichigo ordered bravely.
Zangetsu turned to look at Ichigo, bored. "Zan."
Ichigo's faced crumpled. "What do you mean, 'No?'"
"Zan. Zan zan getsu." The sunglasses-wearing bu- personification gesticulated to prove his point further.
"What the hell do you mean, you don't know that attack? Dad said you did."
"Getsu, zan zangetsu." It doesn't exist.
"It doesn't-" Ichigo repeated, voice garbled.
"Zangetsu zan zan. Getsu get su zan?" He got you good. Can I go back now?
"Fine. Zangetsu, return." With a bright flash, Zangetsu returned to sword form and Ichigo's hand.
Ichimaru turned to face the so-called god, looking straight at him through his eyelids. "Can I kill him now?"
"Yeah, feel free." Aizen looked dismissive.
"Barbie Girl or Bye Bye Bye?"
"Neither. Use 'Umbrella' by Rihanna. The 'ella's will do the job."
"...Yes, Captain Aizen." Gin went to retrieve his mp3 player and the speakers.
Why was it always his batteries that were used?
Mmm, ending seems a little shaky. But oh well, its crack. Who cares? XD
And yes, Aizen and Ichimaru kill their victims by making them listen to boybands or songs that are full of innuendo about plastic dolls (like that's not creepy) or songs that are pretty much compromised of one word. Be alarmed.
And no complaints about OOC-ness, please. I'm vaguely sure that's in the definition of crack.
Feedback would be adored!
-Vampyre Heartbreak