Chapter One-
Ellie's POV

I steal a glance at the clock it tells me there is fifteen minutes left of this hell. Fifteen minutes! That seemed like an eternity. I needed to see Craig. But this time this time it woould be without Manny. I smile at the thought. He'd finally broke up with her. What a slut. Okay that's a bit exterme, but she is! I know she only used to hang all over him in the halls was to piss me off. I bite away at my cuticles. I look again at the clock. Only two minutes have passed. I sigh and begin to gather my books. I tap my foot and my pencil simeltainously. I zone out, staring straight ahead with a glazed look in my eyes.
"Miss Nash?"
I blink.
"Miss Nash?!"
I snap out of my trance and see who called me. No other than Mrs. Kwan, of course.
"Miss Nash, do you think you can try a little harder to pay attention next time?"
The rest of the class snigers.
I choose to ignore them.
"Yes Mrs. Kwan, I'm sorry."
"Just don't let it happen again." I nod in response.
And so I spend the rest of English paying a bit of attention and scribbling down notes here and there. Finally the bell rings and my stomach is a hurricane of excitement, nevorousness and happiness. As I head for the door, I feel a tap on my shoulder.
"Hey El what's up?" Marco greets me with a smile as always.
"Nothing, what's up with you?" I say, with the smallest bit of impatentice in my voice.
"You know the same," he responds cheerily, "but it seemed in class you had alot on your mind you know."
"No as a matter of fact, I do not know and I don't have anything on my mind, Marco okay?!" I snap.
"Woah, alright, alright." He raises his hands in surender. "Well, if there isn't anything you wanna talk about, I have to get to my locker. See you later El."
"Whatever Marco, bye."
I suddenly feel a small pang of guilt in my stomach, but I would have to worry about that later. I head down the hallway toward Craig's locker. His back is turned to me so I decide to give him a small tap on the shoulder. He spins around.
"Oh hey, El. Whats up?"
"Hey Craig. Um not much I thought you wanted me to meet you at your locker after the last class." I say in a much better mood than I had been with Marco.
"Oh um about that you see I..."
He was suddenly cut off by a certain Emma Nelson latching onto his arm.
"Oh hey, sweetie!" she pecks him on the cheek, her voice so sweet I thought my teeth were going to rot just hearing it.
Then it hit me. Wait, they were a item?! I couldn't believe this! I feel dizzy and my heart starts pounding in my ears. A lump begins to gather in my throat the size of a baseball. I feel my eyes begin to water up, and I dig my nails into my palms. I bite my lip and I taste blood not long after.
"Um Craig, I gotta get going." I say quickly.
"Oh okay, Ellie I'll..."
I didn't get to hear the rest because the second the words came out of my mouth I already beggining was speedwalk down the hall. As soon as I turn the corner I begin to run, not caring about others staring. The tears are now flowing down my cheeks at such a rate they are uncontrollable. Screw the bus! I run and run and run. I ignore the fact that I'm exhausted and having trouble breathing. I finally reach my front porch and practitally collapse on it. I take a minute to catch my breath before trudging up the stairs. I look over at the couch and my eyes rest on my mom's sleeping figure. I carefully and quietly walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I'm not suprised to see a broken glass bottle here and there and I avoid stepping on the shattered glass. I make the slow walk up the stairs to my room and fall on my bed. Today's events replay themselves again and again in my mind like a broken record of some sort. I close my eyes in a despartate attempt to slow my thoughts moving a mile a minute. The tears begin to gather at the corner of my eyes. Damnit. I'd tried to avoid the thought of Craig but it failed miserably. He said he loved me! Wait what I am I thinking? Sean said the same thing! And where the hell is he now?! The phone rings and I lose my train of thought.
"What?!" I snap into the mouthpiece.
"Um..Ellie?"
I feel I have to thump my chest with my fist to prevent my heart from stopping.
"Ellie, are you there?" Craig asked timidly.
"What the hell do you want?!" My throat feels as if its on fire.
"Um...about Emma I..." he began.
"What about her, Craig, do really think I give a flying shit?! Because I don't!" I lie through my teeth.
"Yeah well on friday night...and we...you...I..I" he stammers
"What about friday night?1 I know all you wanted was a free fuck! And you got one! Now leave me alone Manning!" I am about to slam the phone down, when he says:
"Manny set us up!" he blurts out.
"WHAT?!" I practically yell.
"No, no I was referring to me and Emma!" he expains.

"Great then you three can get married and have fucked up kids!"
"C'mon,El!" he pleads.
"Fuck you!" And with that, I throw the phone across the room.
Stupid idea.
"Elenor! Get down here now!"
Shit. I've woken up my mother. Thanks a fucking lot,Craig.
"Elenor!" she screams again.
I slam the door and put the chair against it. I run into the bathroom and throw open the cabinet. I push all different pill bottles into the sink until I find the one I'm looking for. My mother's Zoloft. I pop 4 or so pills in my mouth and wait for them to have their effect on me.