Daughter of Tagan

by Anuna

I used to defend Halling and other small children, and my mother used to say I shall become a warrior some day, just like her. In those first years I did not know what she had meant."

Title: Daughter of Tagan

Characters/Pairing: Teyla, with a tiny bit of Carson/Teyla.

Rating: PG – 13

Warnings: none

Spoilers: none. You can read this as an alternate reality of sorts.

Disclaimer: SGA doesn't belong to me.

A/N: written for sga_flashfic challenge, for the kidfic challenge round. I truly enjoyed working on this story.

Summary: I used to defend Halling and other small children, and my mother used to say I shall become a warrior some day, just like her. In those first years I did not know what she had meant.

--- x ---

My very first memory is the image of my tiny hands touching my mother's hair. It was thick, smelled like the grass and the soil and fell down to her breasts. It was different than mine, thicker and darker.I remember her eyes and hands too, and how she used to comb my hair before she put me to sleep. Those are the fondest of my memories.

My father came from a family of negotiators and was known and respected as a trader. He traveled often through the great ring of the Ancestors, offering our crops and pottery in exchange for other goods to our allies and trading partners. My mother came from a long tradition of hunters. She knew how to cast spears, shoot a bow and throw knives. She could catch anything that was moving, and while my father ensured that the entire village had everything that was needed for the upcoming winter, mother was the one who fed our little family. In those early days of peace, I did not know that my mother, Tagan, daughter of Aleya, was sworn as a warrior and protector of her people.

Those early years of my childhood were carefree and happy. The rules of our world were simple and life flowed calmly, like a river through the trees of the forest where we, the children, used to play. Our daily chores were simple – helping our parents with fetching the water and picking the crop; and our biggest worries were who would win in the game of Seeker. Dangers existed only in stories the old people told.

My biggest grievances were over fights I had with Taler, son of Leyna, who used to mock and harass anyone smaller or in any way weaker. I often lost my patience when he picked on Halling, my best friend, who used to be small and afraid of the dark; and many other things. I defended Halling and other small children fiercely, and my mother used to say that I would become a warrior some day, just like her. In those first years I did not understand what she meant.

I remember the night that changed our lives clearly. I remember waking up afraid, with a feeling so cold and hard inside my chest; and I knew something bad and infinitely dangerous was coming. The village was quiet and the fires were out. Everyone was afraid. There was no light apart from pale moonlight and I remember seeing the shadows as my mother moved, picking up her spears and knives; and I remember my father asking her not to go.

"It is my duty, Torren," she had said and he did not ask her to stay any more. "You will take Teyla and Charin to the caves."

That was the first time that my mother had knelt in front of me. I could not see her face in the darkness, but I shall never forget her voice, her courage, or the words she spoke to me then.

"Be strong, my daughter, and protect your family."

I did not realize it was a goodbye and that I would hear it many times.

-- x --

The way of life had changed. The monsters of the night, the ones from my father's and Charin's stories, came and destroyed our peace. We spent many days in hiding, and there was no one to pick the crops. We were often cold and hungry, and the hunters returned empty-handed.

But that was not the worst part. With every wave of destruction, every battle my mother left for with her knives and spears, people would go missing, usually never to return. The grown-ups would not let us, children, far out of sight. Games like Seeker were forbidden, and through autumn and winter, we lived in constant fear of Wraith attacks.

In the spring, the Wraith were gone, but a new danger had emerged. My people called them simply 'traitors'. They were people of different worlds, often even from our allied worlds, that sold others to the Wraith so that their families and houses would be spared. There was not a thing my mother despised more, for she was sworn to protect her own kin as well as the other villagers with her very life. I began to understand what being a warrior meant when a group of our traders was taken by the traitors for the first time.

My father was among those men that went missing.

I was eight seasons old then. I remember thegray fog of early morning and my mother, gathering her knives and holding back her fear and sadness. I remember Charin's silence when a group of warriors, men and women alike, came for my mother. Once more she knelt in front of me, her strong hands on my tiny shoulders.

She looked at me for long moments. My chest was filled with fear. Even a small child could recognize that kind of danger. Deep in my heart I knew I could lose them both, father and mother. She combed my hair away from my face and wiped a tear trailing down my cheek.

"Do not cry, my daughter. You have to be strong," she said. "You will be a warrior one day."

"I do not want to," I told her, and while her face was stern, firm, her eyes were full of sadness. But even then I saw in her eyes that her fate, as well as mine, was inevitable.

"Be strong, my daughter, and protect your family," she whispered, got up and left with the others.

That day I watched her leave to rescue the others. It was a task she was sworn to fulfill. Halling's father was among them too. He was the first one not to come back.

The others came back bruised, but alive; and my mother brought my father, and many other fathers home. Halling's father had died so that other's fathers could live. The name of Elian was honored, but I doubt it helped Halling much. I watched his sorrow and how he became even quieter. He played with other children even less and Taler picked on him even more often than before. Quickly I had learned to loathe a person who could not feel for another's suffering, and without my knowing, the warrior in me grew, along with the anguish and anger every time I watched my mother kneel in front of me, telling me to be strong.

-- x --

And then one day my mother left with other warriors to free a group of our men, my father among them once again. Tagan, the huntress whose aim never missed, came home that night empty-handed. Our small family was diminished and part of my heart was forever crushed.

-- x --

The culling on other worlds and traitor attacks lasted for a year longer, ending in one horrible, bloodied strike against our village and several allied settlements on other planets.

Never before was a larger group of people taken from us; almost all of our men. Charin said that our kind would perish from the face of Athos, for we were the last ones left. I remember the council-gathering that lasted through most of the day and part of the night until it was decided. What was left of our warriors would risk their lives, just like they were sworn to do. It was a dangerous plan, where everything could be gained and everything could be lost. If the warriors were to die in the rescue, then the village would be defenseless, full of women who weren't skilled with weapons; old people and defenseless children.

It was another night of silence, and the last night when my mother combed my hair before she put me to sleep.

The next morning I followed the group of warriors, our last hope, toward the great circle of the Ancestors, along with many other villagers. Halling walked with me and held my hand tightly. He was still smaller than I was, then.

I remember my mother's hair, long and shiny in the sunshine as she knelt in front of me and bid her goodbye one more time. I did not speak a word, for my throat was tightly shut with dark premonition that this time I would loose her too. That was the only time that she kissed my face as she was saying goodbye and I kept the warmth of her lips and the courage of her eyes in my memory. But for the first time, I swore, quietly in my heart, that I would be strong and that I would protect my family, just as my mother asked of me. It was her last request of me, her only child.

Tagan, the warrior who always brought her people home, never returned again. I became an orphan, but my mother's sacrifice saved many that day. Thanks to Tagan, many children still grew up happily. All I had left was Charin, who became both mother and father to me; and the bitter legacy or warrior's duty that my mother had left me with.

-- x --

In the years that followed, I learned how to throw spears and handle knives and banto sticks – something my mother had never used. I learned how to fight; but I was never sworn as a warrior in front of our council. In some way it was not necessary. I was already a warrior at heart.

I became a trader, like my father, and in the years that followed, I also became a leader. However, the promise I gave in my heart stayed with me, until I met the Atlanteans.

They became my second family, one I accepted to protect just as my mother had done.

My daughter is three seasons old and she often pulls my hair, just as I did to my mother. She has her father's blue eyes, and just like him, she is gentle and kind. I do not believe she will be a warrior, but there are many other ways to protect the ones you love. My husband is a healer, and in his own way he saves lives, just as I promised to do.

The great City of the Ancestors feels empty as I remember the cold dawn when I was just nine seasons old and my mother knelt in front of me for the last time. Today it is me who is packing her knives; it is me who is leaving her daughter to save the ones that were taken from us. Never before had so many men and women been taken in a battle – many of my friends are among them. I am hoping to find them alive and bring them home.

Through the years, I learned to trust these people who came from another galaxy. We bled and celebrated together, and they became my family, and the ties that bind us are thicker than blood. Some of them have wives, daughters and sons, and because of them, I kneel before my own daughter today. She is still too small to understand where I am going, but she does understand the sadness in my eyes.

"Be strong, my daughter," I say. "protect your family," I ask of her, and she pulls my hair. I do my best not to cry and I remember my mother's face. Then I place Charin in the hands of her father and thank the Ancestors for him. He is not a warrior or a trader, and he stays in the safety of the great City, as protected as he can be, and I know, should I not return, that my child will not be an orphan. Carson kisses me, and with little Charin in his arms he walks with me to the gate room, toward the great ring. I turn to see the two of them, knowing, just as my mother knew, that it might be the last time.

I look at the women and men, and their children, waiting for their loved ones to return, and understand completely why my mother had done it. They are my family and I can bring their loved ones back. I have promised. Then I join the other warriors, the best of two worlds, and I look at the blue shimmer of the circle. We are ready to leave, I am ready to fulfill my oath.

I am Teyla, daughter of Tagan. I am a warrior. That is what I promised to be.