Even Donovan came around to pay her respects. She wasn't invited to the funeral, but she came a little while after to say good bye. Lestrade was devastated. Whether Sherlock knew it or not Lestrade was his friend. Anderson never went to the gravesite, but he did talk to John about it. Molly she didn't know what to do. She always seemed odd around Sherlock's grave. John barely gave it the time of day. Mycroft was, Mycroft. He was cool and collected throughout the ceremony. He showed little emotion in public, but in his privacy he grieved for his little brother. Mycroft was probably just as upset as John, but no one knew it.
John has been staying at Harry's even though he hates it there. He knows he is in no mental state to go back to work. John didn't want to be a doctor anymore. After working with Sherlock on his cases that's all John wanted to do. He found no joy in the medical field. He wished he was as good as Sherlock, but he wasn't. He wanted to be able to persue Sherlock's work, but he couldn't. John wasn't nearly as capable as Sherlock. Then again...no one was.
After a while John just couldn't take it any more. He had thought about taking his life plenty of times before this, but he could never do that. He always felt suicide was the cowards way out. He always thought you should face your problems and solve them. Not decide to check out. This time was different though. John knew he was going no where. He couldn't get the strength to get up and find a job. To push through life like everyone else. For John there was no reason, not without Sherlock. Sherlock had brightened his life in so many ways. Before Sherlock John was a broken shell of a man. If Mike hadn't brought Sherlock and John together John probably would have ended his life then. John always kept his gun in the safe in the closet.
John walked over to the closet, pulled open the door and punched the code into the safe. But the safe wouldn't open. He knew he was pressing the right numbers into the key pad, but they weren't working. Finally John gave up and went into the bathroom. As he walked in front of the mirror he noticed a sticky note on the glass. John hadn't put it there. Someone had been in his room. But who? John pulled off the note and read it "I changed the code. I know you. Don't do it. -SH"
John was paralyzed. With what, he didn't know. Anger? Happiness? Was Sherlock Holmes really alive? There was no way John had attended the burial. It was open casket too. How could Sherlock pull this off? Why had he hidden himself from John? John was furious, but excited all at the same time. Where was Sherlock now? John had to find him. If there is any hope at all. John will find him.