Quick one-shot I wrote on msn with a friend, her name is Rose and she's amazing. She reads everything I write and fluffs my ego. Anywhoo, we were just joking around and this came about.
No one likes doing paperwork, least of all the Avengers. Tony for one, finds the paperwork beneath him, he's a genius for crying out loud! Not to mention, whenever he's involved it's usually because some weirdo alien breed is trying to kill off half the nation. Does something that everyone witnessed really need to be written down? He doesn't think so. His problem is solved, when he whines to Steve that he cannot handle doing paperwork because he and Bruce are on the verge of a scientific breakthrough. Steve, bless him, usually just sighs and stretches out his hand as Tony hands him his and Bruce's forms (what are science bros for?).
Clint and Natasha used to do their paperwork, but not anymore. This is due to the fact that Tony is rubbing off on them, not that either of them ever turned in their paperwork on time. Fury never had a problem with it until they joined the super-secret boy band. Clint bumps into Steve while holding his and Natasha's blank paperwork. Steve looks at him, before rolling his eyes and asking the archer what he needs. Clint merely holds out the paperwork to him and says, "The spider and I have secret assassin stuff we need to do. You know SHIELD business." before walking away with a smirk on his face.
As Steve walks through the kitchen with paperwork for Tony, Bruce, Clint, and Natasha, he is met with the sight of Thor. Thor is the only one who doesn't take advantage of the super soldier, at least not consciously. He is again struggling to stay on point. The last report went completely off tangent and ended with him giving Fury a lesson on how they do it in Asgard. (battles, not that other thing. get your minds out of the gutter.) With a sigh, Steve walks over to Thor. "Just go and do whatever you Asgardians do." he says as he takes the paperwork and walks away. Thor stares as Steve leaves with his paperwork before getting up and rummaging through the cabinets for poptarts.
He gets his own paperwork out of the way before even attempting to start everyone else's work. It is then than Pepper walks in wondering where Tony is. She takes one look at what Steve is doing and shakes her head. "You are way too nice, to these five year olds." In her mind she starts preparing the lecture that she will give them once she sees them all, she evens thinks of cutting off cable for a week. That way they can all miss their favorite shows, hell she'll steal all their iPods and hide them for that week too. With a long sigh she sits next to Steve and begins working on Bruce's paperwork, rewording Steve's account and adding in random science terms.
It is later that they're all sitting in the living room, watching Tony yell at the computer while asking JARVIS what the hell is going on. "Why isn't this piece of shit working?! I paid the cable bill, maybe it's something with the wiring. Bruce, we need to operate on this TV STAT! We can't miss Top Gear!"
"Oh no. Sit back down, Bruce." Pepper says as she enters the living room. Bruce was ready to go get Tony's tools so they could fix the TV. Bruce turns to look at Tony who signals him to go for the tools, but one look at Pepper tells him he's better off not listening to his science bro this time.
After five minutes of Tony throwing a tantrum and going through a million excuses as to why he can't spare ten minutes for Pepper's lecture, he finally gives in dropping himself dramatically on the couch next to Bruce. A smile creeps on his face as he takes out his phone and motions for Bruce to do the same. Natasha looks like she's ready for some target practice, while Clint is just giving everyone his resting face. Pepper starts by asking them why they can't do their own paperwork instead of asking Steve to do it. When she receives no answer, she just continues with her lecture over responsibilities and how despite being super heroes they still had to do their duties, which include paperwork. At this point, none of them are paying attention; Bruce and Tony are in the middle of a heated 'words with friends' match. Clint and Natasha have decided to have a private conversation via glances and hand signals, while Thor is busy eating the junk food they had readied before sitting down to watch TV.
Pepper glares at all of them before turning to walk away. "Enjoy one week without cable, Avengers." This is the third time she's had to take away TV privileges among other things. When will these children learn that they are 1. not kids, and 2. super heroes.
They weren't out of the woods yet, Fury had read the paperwork and noticed it was all in Pepper and Steve's writing. The words were different but it was all the same thing, he resisted the urge to head-desk as he called Phil and asked him to round up the Avengers for a 'briefing'.
This is how the six Avengers found themselves aboard the helicarrier. Fury was currently screaming at them as if they were children, while Tony and Clint took things from his yelling them and turned them into stories and memories of all the dumb things they've gotten to do while at the tower. They're in the middle of laughing about the time that Tony built a robotic Pikachu for Thor, only for Thor to think it was challenging him and setting Mjolnir's fury on it, when Steve interrupts them. "Guys this is serious, how are we supposed to defend the earth if we can't even do some simple paperwork!"
"Are you just not happy because we haven't told any stories involving you?" Tony pauses his current 'words with friends' game with Bruce, and looks over at Steve. "What about the time Natasha accidentally hit you with an arrow in the ass, while Clint was trying to teach her how to shoot a bow?" This causes Tony, Natasha, and Clint to start laughing at Steve. It had all been on purpose, Natasha had been dared by the trouble bros, Clint and Tony.
The sudden embarrassing story causes Steve's usually calm demeanor to crack and he launches at Tony. Clint and Natasha laugh even more as they see Steve and Tony on the floor swatting each other like little girls. Bruce merely shakes his head while peeking at Tony's phone to see what word Tony was planning to use next. Meanwhile, Thor has once again taken to asking Fury about the eye patch, which ends in an Asgardian lesson about battle scars making the man and being sacred. Plus a whole bunch of other crap that Fury doesn't give two shits about. During the chaos, Clint and Natasha share a kiss, which no one notices due to well… the chaos. Phil is merely observing the scene and shaking his head. He face palms as Fury storms out yelling at any agent on the hallway about how he's dealing with children.
After a few minutes, Phil looks at his watch and notices he has half an hour before the new episode of super nanny airs. There's no way he can break it all up without using brute force or his taser. He takes out his phone and dials for Pepper; usually she can get them to calm down. However, after having dealt with them the day before she refuses to go and deal with them now. "They're your problem today, Phil." she says before hanging up.
Phil scowls as the clock ticks, the only way he's missing tonight's episode of super nanny is if he's on a mission or dead. Seeing, as he was neither one at the moment, he pulls out his taser. He presses the tester button on the taser, seeing if any of them react to the noise.
Clint and Natasha pull away from trying to separate Steve and Tony as soon as they hear the sound of Phil's taser. They know full well that Phil will use it if he's about to miss his favorite show. Bruce, who hadn't joined the fight, looks up at Phil and seeing the taser in his hand moves towards the wall. He rather not let Hulk come out and play today. This leaves Tony and Steve who are still rolling around the ground slapping each other. Phil moves in and tases the closest person to him, which so happens to be Tony.
"Owwww!" Tony yelps as un-manly as possible as he attempts to make his limbs work and get off of Steve. "Was that really necessary?" He questions as he rubs the spot where the taser made contact with him.
Phil merely glares at Tony before moving to the front of the room. "As you may have not noticed, while you guys were acting like a bunch of untrained monkeys, Fury left. However, he did mention that Clint and Natasha will be grounded for a week and will have to train the new recruits. Tony and Bruce just got locked out of the labs for a week as well, and Thor isn't allowed any poptarts. Steve, seeing, as you were the only one who actually did the paperwork you will not be grounded. We are disappointed in your lack of self-control though. Enjoy your week, AVENGERS." Not waiting to hear their complaints or whining, he quickly leaves for the safety of his office, he still has 5 minutes before super nanny starts.
FIN