Hi. Konosuba crossover.
Idk.
Italics = Thoughts/Emphasis
Bold = Loud person speaking/Loudness/Emphasis
Underline = Mainly Emphasis
'Not all those who wander are lost... Except for this Guy. He's lost as shit. He has Hypothermia.'
Kazuma took a deep breath and shouted;
"Where the FUCK are we!?"
His mind wandered back to how it all began...
...
Gah~! Another torturous day of school is over~! What shall I do now?
I felt a tap on my shoulder.
"Oi Kouhai, you want to hang out with us after school? Motohama and I are gonna be at my house, you wanna come?"
"Nah, I have some homework to do. Why don't you ask Issei-senpai?"
"I-Issei?" That traitor Issei!? Never!"
"Matsuda-senpai, you're being salty... Although I too, am quite salty about that..."
Seriously, how did Issei-senpai of all people get a girlfriend, a smoking hot beauty too!
Life is so unfair...
"Well, see you tomorrow Kazuma-kohai!"
"See ya!"
Readjusting my bag on my shoulder, I walk away from Matsuda and Motohama.
...
I lied about doing my Homework. In fact, I never do my homework. Hah, homework is for normies! Screw you, teachers!
I'll just hang around at the arcade tonight, again...
...Maybe I need a girlfriend as well...
With such not-so-optimistic thoughts in mind, I aimed my direction towards the mall which had the biggest arcade in town.
"Hi, would you like a flier?"
A strange looking woman handed out a weird pamphlet toward me.
On the pamphlet read 'I will grant you your wish~!'
How suspicious.
"Ah, s-sure."
But I took it anyway as this woman was the only person of the opposite gender who didn't treat me like garbage.
The girls of Kuoh Academy are rough...
Curse my weak will.
I sauntered my way to the arcade.
...
...
...
"What am I doing with my life?"
There's a problem with going to the arcade alone. You get uneasy when you see a group of friends or a couple hanging around.
You feel insecure about yourself.
And that insecurity leads you to have a slight existential crisis...
But as a veteran at having these types of feelings, I would not be affected by it in usual situations.
However...
Today was especially worse, for some reason, there were an unusually high amount of couples.
Damn normies... Stop laughing and explode already!
I feel uncomfortable.
Not being able to put up with the 'pressure', I strolled out the arcade.
Curse my weak will.
Sighing at my own patheticness, I made my way home.
...
It was then I would face a situation that would change my life forever...
...
HO-HO-HOLY SHIT!
"I-Issei-senpai!?"
I saw Issei being pierced with some sort of spear by a dark winged Angel.
Is that an, an Angel!? Why are its wings black? What's going on!?
The 'Angel' turned around to face me with a face full of shock.
It had noticed me.
And now was flying towards me, with a spear in hand.
SHIT!
I dropped my bad and began to run as fast as I could at the opposite direction of the 'Angel'. I felt adrenaline course through my body as I literally fled for my life.
But the 'Angel' had caught up.
I screamed.
"HELP!"
But no 'Hero' came, instead, I received a spear through my stomach. With a trembling head, I looked down to see the tip of the spear already piercing out my own body.
Th-This isn't real...
"It's a shame Human, you could've lived if only you hadn't seen me." The 'Angel' had said while pulling out her weapon from me.
I couldn't reply, as I saw the blood gushing out.
"Blame your luck I guess."
The 'Angel' disappeared.
I was always on the lucky side of things though...
My vision was blurred as my legs gave out. I crumpled to the floor and let my own blood stain the ground.
This...Is this how I die? A virgin too?... How nonsensical...
In the distance I saw Issei, stretching his hand toward me. As if trying to 'save' me even though he too, was in a pitiable state.
S-Senpai…
I smiled.
At the very least… I wish for you to be saved…
With my vision decreasing at an exponential rate, The last thing I saw was a bright red light appearing over Issei's body.
And then, I died.
Death was quite…. Peaceful…
This wasn't too bad…
...
...
"Awaken Mortal."
And then, I opened my eyes.
And then, I realised I was sitting on a chair.
And then, I realised, the beautiful blue-haired Goddess before me sitting on a throne of her own.
…
"Satou Kazuma." The Goddess spoke.
I looked at the Goddess in the eyes.
"You, have died."
I wasn't sure how to respond. How should've I responded? I was aware of my death. But I still had so many questions.
"Your untimely demise was due to the hands of a Fallen Angel."
A Fallen… Angel?
That only sprouted more questions.
"I… What?"
"I will answer your questions. What is it you want to know?"
That's… Oh right, Issei!
"What happened to Issei?"
"Ah, the other boy. He was just reincarnated into a Devil."
"A Devil?"
"Yes, before you ask any more questions. Allow me to explain. In the world you live in, all mythologies and legends exist."
My jaw dropped at the revelation of information.
"Yes, Gods, Devils, Fallen Angels, Angels, Dragons, Heroes, Youkai, Vampires, they all exist."
I could only blink.
"Oh yeah, by the way, you've met a lot of supernatural beings in your life. Even in your current school."
My blinking had stopped.
"I guess you weren't aware of it, haha lol~"
What? Also Hm? Is it me or is she getting more… casual?
The impression she gave 2 minutes earlier is different from now.
"You also died a virgin. How Tragic!"
Why do I want to slap her now?
The impression the Goddess gave 2 minutes earlier was completely gone.
"Anyways, Here are two options: Option 1- You go to Heaven, Option 2- You go to another world. Oh, and by the way, Heaven is really boring. It's lead by a boring Angel named Michael. I really advise you not to go there. Seriously, it's boring."
Hm? What about God, the Biblical one? Doesn't he lead Heaven?
"On the other hand, If you choose to go to another world, It would be amazing! As a bonus, you would be granted a one and only power. It could be a powerful unique ability. For example, a legendary weapon. Come on, it can be anything. You have the privilege to bring this one thing to the other world."
After hearing Goddess' explanation, I took the catalogue and started browsing it.
… On it was 'Unnatural Strength', 'Super Magic', 'Holy Sword Arondight', 'Demon Sword Murasame'… And all sorts of names. I got it, I could choose one item from here.
But… I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure if I wanted to abandon the world I grew up in.
I hesitated. Everything was happening too fast.
Is this all right…?
"Hey Goddess."
"Call me Aqua-sama, and yes what is it? I don't have much time you know- There are still any dead souls waiting in line!"
My eyebrows twitched.
"Aqua… Can I return back to my wor-"
"No, I can do it but it's against the law. Do you know how many Gods will be angry at me if I do that? Why do you want to return? It's not like anyone misses you."
This… This bitch.
"Tch."
"Hey don't 'Tch' me!"
"Tch!"
"Hey!"
I already hate this Goddess.
"…You said I could take one item to take with me to the other world right?"
"Oh! Are you-"
I chuckle,
"I'll take…"
I point my finger at the Goddess.
"…You."
"Okay, Please don't move away from the centre of the Magic Circ-"
Aqua suddenly stopped talking.
"Eh?"
And in the next moment-
"I understand. Well then, I will take over Aqua-sama's job from now on."
With a flash of white light, a winged woman appeared out of nowhere. … simply put, it was a woman that was the epitome of Beauty.
"… Eh?"
Under the feet of Aqua who squealed in surprise, as well as under my feet, a blue magic circle appeared.
Oh, what is this? Am I really going to another world?
"Wait, huh, what is happening? Eh, you can't be serious? No no, hold on, this is too weird! It is cheating to bring a goddess along! No count? This shouldn't count! Wait! Wait okay?" Aqua panicked with tears in her eyes; she was a mess
"Goodbye, Aqua-sama. Pleases leave the rest to me. We will send envoys to welcome you back right after the Demon Lord is defeated. Before you return, I will handle all your tasks."
"Wait! Wait! As a goddess, I possess healing powers, not combat abilities! It is impossible for me to defeat the Demon Lord!"
The silver-haired Goddess who appeared ignored Aqua, who collapsed on the floor crying, and smiled gently at me.
"Satou Kazuma san. You will be heading to another world now and become one of the candidate heroes to defeat the Demon Lord. You will receive a gift from the gods the moment you defeat the Demon Lord."
"… Gift?"
"That's right, a gift befitting a World Savior… You will be granted a wish, it can be anything you want."
"Oh. "
"Wait! Giving that cool speech is my job!"
Aqua wailed on the floor after the other Goddess took her job. And so, I pointed at Aqua and said;
"How does it feel to be companions with a man you look down on? Hey, you are the 'thing' chosen by me to be brought along. Since you are a goddess, use your godly powers to make my adventure a breeze!"
"NO~! Going to another world with a man like this, no way~!"
"Hero! May you be victorious among the many hero candidates, and become the one to defeat the Demon Lord… Well then, I bid you farewell!"
"NOOOOO! I won't accept this! I'll never go to the other world with this guy! HAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
"A-A-Aqua Senpai! What are you-"
"HAAAAAAAHHHHHH~!"
And then a bright blue light surrounded Aqua and I
...
Was it a dream? It was a dream. Definitely a dream. There was no way that was real. Still, it was a pretty strange dream… Ugh, let's just go to school...
…
..
.
"You guys seriously don't remember about Yuuma-chan?"
"We have no idea. Just how many times do we have to repeat it? Issei we have no time for your fantasies…"
"Yeah Issei, just… Just let us grieve in peace."
Grieve? Why are Matsuda and Motoh- No, why does the whole school have some sort of depressed aura?
"Okay, whatever. By the way, where's Kazuma?"
Matsuda and Motohama looked at me with shocked eyes and grabbed my shoulders.
"Issei…"
"Didn't you hear?..."
"Hear what? H-Hey, I don't like the looks you're giving me."
"That…" Matsuda grimaced, "Kazuma died."
"….Huh?"
It wasn't…. a dream…?
"He was… According to the news, hit by a bus and… died…"
"The funeral is on tomorrow."
"I…"
Then… so… Kazuma wasn't killed? Is this all a coincidence? It really was a dream? No that's not right… It can't be…?
The day went by like normal. But for the Students and Teachers at Kuoh Academy, it was excruciatingly slow.
The next day Saturday rolled in, it was the day of Kazuma's Funeral.
The Funeral took place at the local Cemetery.
There were a few speeches, most of them which were presented by teachers. Issei didn't listen, he didn't want to listen. He couldn't accept it… The final speech was made by Murayama, a prime victim of the 'Perverted Quartet'. Like all the others, Issei didn't listen to her speech. But the last sentences she spoke hit him, hard.
"…Yes, I didn't like him. But even so! Even so… I truly believe that he didn't deserve to die."
And so the Coffin was buried.
A few individuals remained after the ceremony. Motohama and Matsuda went home stating that they could no longer bear it anymore. Issei was about to follow suit when a hand stopped him.
He turned around to see who the hand belonged to.
"Kiba?"
Kiba Yuuto, The 'Prince' of Kuoh Academy and a member of the Occult Research Club.
"Kiba?" I inquired once again.
"Issei-kun, I need you to come with me."
"Huh?"
Huh? What does he want with me?... I don't care anymore…
"…Uh, sure."
"Splendid."
And so Issei followed Kiba all the way to the base of the ORC. The Old Schoolhouse.
"I have brought him in Buchou."
"Good work Yuuto."
Issei saw the whole of the ORC members in front of him. All of whom were popular in their school. Koneko the 'Mascot', Kiba the 'Prince', and Rias and Akeno the 'Two Great Ladies' of Kuoh Academy. Under normal circumstances, Issei may have been excited to meet with these people. But things weren't normal, Issei had lost one of his best friends after all.
"Good Afternoon, Um, what is it you want? It's Saturday you know?"
And on the day of Kazuma's funeral too…
"Okay, then I'll go straight to the point," Rias said. "The girl you went on a date with, she was a Fallen Angel."
"!"
"While being God's Angels, they held some impure ideas and fell from Heaven. While controlling humans, they attempt to destroy us Devils. Ever since Ancient times, they passed from Heaven to Earth to Hell. Aside from Fallen Angels, there are also Angels sent by God with the order to kill us. In other words, we are attacked by all sides."
"…Huh…"
"Do you understand our story so far?"
"I… How did you know about my dream?"
"That's because Issei, It was no dream."
Rias hands a photo of Issei and 'Amano Yuuma' together.
"This is…"
"She did exist. Of that, I am certain."
"...But Motohama and Matsuda didn't remember her."
"That's because she probably used Magic."
Magic?
"Since the Fallen Angel performed her task. She erased all evidence and memory of herself from those around you."
"Her…Task?"
"Yes, her task of killing you."
"…"
To determine whether or not there was something hidden within your body. Discovering this to be true, she pierced you with a spear of light."
"If you want to hold a grudge hold it against the God who put the Sacred Gear in your body"
"…That's right, Yuuma-chan said something about say bear…" I uttered.
"Sacred Gear. It is a power unintentionally bestowed upon some humans. It is believed that many notable people throughout History had those powers." Akeno corrected.
Rias continued the explanation, "And sometimes, people have great powers great enough to thwart Angels and Devils.
"So I have a 'Sacred Gear' inside me…"
"That is correct." Rias assured
"So if… My dream was real, then does that mean Kazuma was, Kazuma was…"
"…Yes, he was killed by the same Fallen Angel that killed you."
"Did he also have a 'Sacred Gear'?"
Rias' face grimaced, as did the others.
"…Most likely not."
"Then why?"
"He was probably killed because he witnessed your incident."
"…That…That's the reason? J-Just because he looked at something he shouldn't of?"
Tears freely fell from his eyes.
"He was killed because of a stupid reason like that!?"
I couldn't control the rage building up inside him, I didn't want to anyway.
"Issei-senpai calm dow-"
"How could I!? One of my best friends was killed you know! I was… I was going to raise him to be a fine pervert like me… He really, really didn't deserve to die…"
"Issei-kun... Your hand."
"W-What the?"
On my left hand was a red gauntlet.
"It seems that you've awakened your 'Sacred Gear' Issei."
"My... This is my…"
What is this?
"Yes, and to awaken it just a day after you've been reincarnated. Hmmm, I expect a lot from you~."
"Reincarnated?"
"Oh I forgot. Issei, I was summoned by this."
Rias showed me a strange pamphlet which read: 'I will grant you your wish~!'
"And when I saw you, I reincarnated you into a Devil servant of I, Rias Gremory!"
At that point, every ORC member sprouted their bat-like Devil wings.
"The pamphlet, what does it do?"
"It does what it states. A Devil will get summoned to confide you about your wish."
"I didn't have one which means…!"
"Kazuma must've wanted you to live." Rias said with a warm smile.
"I… I…Uuuuuuu~" (AN: What sound do you make when you're crying?)
Rias and the others comforted me as I bawled my eyes out.
How pathetic of me...
-ELSEWHERE-
Is this... What is this place?
"Hey Aqua, are we in the other world?" Kazuma tried not to let his excited tone show.
"…Yeah."
Aqua was trembling.
"Oh… Sweet."
Kazuma looked around and realised he was in some sort of Mountain Range.
Wow...This place...? Not a typical place to be spawned in but eh, it's a new world…. Whoa wazzat?
Kazuma, in the distance, saw a grand, gold, complex, tower structure that reached the clouds. He also saw a whole city around the said complex tower.
"Is that the Beginner's city? Aqua?"
Next to him, Aqua was curled into a ball and crying.
"Oi Aqu-"
Suddenly, seemingly from the heavens, a letter slowly descended towards the duo with a gold light accompanying it.
Kazuma, who was not curled up into a ball, extended his hand and took the letter. The gold aura around it slowly faded away.
"Hm?"
The letter read:
'To Aqua, The Water Goddess,
For breaking the universal law of life #2, We Kono Gods have decided to punish you, You are hereby forbidden to return to the Kono Realm unless you have fully repented for your actions. You also must be responsible for the Mortal you gave a second life to. We have halved your powers and we will give it back after you have repented for your actions.
Be thankful that the punishments were not severe.
-Council of the Kono Gods.'
"…Oi Aqua, a letter."
While twitching, Kazuma handed the letter to Aqua.
A few minutes later
"BWWAAAAAAAAHHHH~!
Aqua began to cry even more.
"Serves you right you useless Goddess!"
"I-It's Kazuma's fault WAAAAAAHHH~!"
"SHUT UP!" Kazuma screamed.
He took a deep breath and shouted;
"Where the FUCK are we!?"
His mind wandered back to how it all began…
Author's Notebook:
Hi Ho! The Savage Fuck Kazuma in the DxD universe~! Awesome!
Guess where Aqua and Kazuma are! (Which realm!)
ALSO! The Kono Gods, as you may have already guessed are the Gods of the Konosuba universe. (Eris, Aqua). The Kono realm is where they reside.