I thought it would be fun to do a short one about when Booth finds out he's going to become a Father again. This is another in the Deep Regret storyline. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Booth didn't know what in the Hell was going on. He'd been having a nice morning in the office working on a mountain of dull paperwork, which seemed to be the bain of his existence these days now that he had been promoted, when all of a sudden Max had called and told him he wanted to have a talk with him over lunch. Okay. Now that was weird. He and Max got along great most of the time, but things had been tense since Booth's foolishness in dating Hannah. Now that he was with Bones and it was for the long haul, Max had cooled down a bit, but the memories were just fresh enough that a summons from Max was a bit on the scary side.
Walking into the diner he nodded hello to the waitresses and the cook. They were all good friends from all the lunches and dinners he and Bones had shared there, so it was all good. Looking about he spotted Max sitting in his and Bones traditional seat, Max being in the seat Bones always used.
"Hey, Max," Booth said as he took a seat. He nodded in thanks to the waitress who filled an empty coffee cup for him as he ordered the usual.
"So, Booth," Max said with his insufferable grin firmly in place. "How are things with you and Tempé?"
Whenever Max got that damn grin on his face Booth got nervous. It was like waiting for the bomb to go off and getting splattered.
"Things are good, Max," Booth said with a nod. "We're getting used to living together, and there's been some rough spots, but we're working them out."
"I guess what I should be asking is, is my baby girl happy?" Max asked directly.
"Max, things are good," Booth protested the implied criticism. He'd protest anyway as the absolute last thing on this Earth Booth wanted was Max pissed at him for not making Bones happy.
"Then why was she crying when I saw her in her office this morning, and when I asked if you'd done anything, she nodded and slammed the door in my face," Max said as he leveled a deadly glare at Booth.
Booth about lost control of his sphincter right then. Bones crying? Bones saying it was him that was the cause? What the Hell was going on? Bones was pretty damn happy when he dropped her off that morning! If Max thought he was responsible, then he was in deep shit!
"Now, Max, I haven't seen Bones since I left her at the Jeffersonian this morning, and when I dropped her off she was smiling and happy," Booth protested. "I haven't seen or talked to her since!"
"Then I guess you had better head over there and find out what you did to make my Baby Girl unhappy," Max said with a look that said it wasn't a request. Then he smiled widely. "But you can eat your lunch first, though."
"You're all heart, Max," Booth muttered as he looked down at his burger and fries that had just been placed in front of him.
"So, when is Parker coming in for more science lessons?" Max asked with a clap of his hands and a wider smile. Now that he'd scared the crap out of Booth he could move on to another fun subject, Parker. He loved the little guy and always looked forward to when he could give the young man some science lessons.
An hour or so later Booth made tracks into the lab area of the Jeffersonian. He was really freaked out from his "lunch" with Max. The man may be a bit older than he was a few years ago, but that sharp jab to the cajones that Max had delivered a few years before still gave him nightmares.
"Angela!" he said when he spotted the artist.
"Hey, Studly!" Angela gave him a leering look. She may be married, and would never stray, but Booth was a real stud muffin in her opinion and she would always be more than willing to take a look. She also knew something that Studly didn't know yet, so she was appreciating him all the more.
"Max just freaked me out," Booth said without preamble. "Is something going on with Bones that I need to know about? Like is she pissed at me for some reason?"
Angela almost laughed her ass off. Bren was a bit pissed at Booth, and if Bren was pissed off about something, then Max was sure to dive right in and go off on the one he assumed was responsible.
"Well, she is miffed about something, but you need to speak with her to find out what about," Angela told him with a pat on his shoulder as she walked away.
"Thanks," he said sarcastically. He looked around and saw Wendell. He walked over to him and decided to take one more stab at finding out what was going on before facing a pissed off Bones. "Hey, Wendell," he said nonchalantly.
"Man, whatever you did you need to fix it soon," Wendell said with his wry grin in place. "Dr. Brennan is on the warpath about something."
"Do you have any idea what's wrong?" Booth asked, a bit more afraid now.
"Not a clue," Wendell shrugged. "Sorry."
"Well," Booth took a deep breath. "I guess it's up to me to be a man and find out what I did," he said finally.
"Better you than me, Man," Wendell said as he went back to the platform to look like he was busy so Dr. Brennan wouldn't turn her wrath on him.
"Coward," Booth muttered as he walked over to Bones' office, the door of which was closed. He sighed. That wasn't a good sign. Bones only closed her office door if he was there with her and she was feeling amorous, or she was pissed off about something and needed solitude to keep from killing someone while she worked on compartmentalizing. "Why me?" he groaned as he knocked on the door. He jumped back when the door flew open and he saw a somewhat disgruntled looking Bones standing there glaring at him.
"Get in here," she ground out.
Booth could tell she was grinding her teeth. He walked in somewhat timidly, keeping an important piece of his anatomy turned away from her as surreptitiously as possible.
"Uh, hey, Bones," he said nervously. "What's up?"
"You are permanently banished to the couch," Bones said with a serious glint in her eyes.
"What?" he yelped, about to faint. The couch? What the Hell?
"You heard me," she told him. "This is all your fault!"
"What the hell are you talking about?" he screeched.
"As if you didn't already know," she huffed. She knew she was being a bit unreasonable, but she had been unable to process this even after all the time since finding out this morning a little after coming to work.
"I don't know! All I know is is that Max says you're pissed at me and now he's ready to torch my cajones!" he exclaimed.
"I'm PREGNANT!" she said loudly. "You and your super sperm got me pregnant!"
Booth felt a bit light headed. Bones had told him when they got together that, while she eventually wanted kids, she wasn't ready for it yet. He'd been super careful. Condoms at all times, and he knew that Bones was on a contraceptive, too. Damn his boys could do some damage!
"Congratulations?" he offered, despite how stupid that sounded since he should be getting congratulated, too.
"I'm not ready for this, Booth!" she said forlornly. She sat down on the couch and leaned back, thoroughly miserable.
Booth tentatively sat down next to her and placed an arm over her shoulder. "Am I still on couch duty?" he asked.
"I should dislocate your shoulder and crush your balls," she told him as she leaned into him a bit, her initial anger passed now that he was here and available to make her feel better.
Booth cringed at the mental image of her doing just that, particularly the latter. He worked at not crossing his legs in fear.
"Uh, Bones," he started, not sure how to broach this subject. "I would have thought that there would have been some warning signs that you're pregnant..." he trailed off.
"Daisy noticed something in my gait and suggested the possibility," Bones told him. "Angela went and bought a test and the result was positive. I need to make an appointment with my OB/GYN to verify, but the test is fairly conclusive."
"So no other symptoms?" he asked.
"None so far, though I do have irregular periods due to the contraceptive I use," she observed.
"Bones, I want to know as little about your female issues as possible," he reminded her. He shuddered at the mere thought of getting a lecture from the Super Squint herself about female issues.
Bones chuckled. "But getting you flustered is fun," she told him, teasing him a bit to let him know that while she wasn't happy about the new development, she wasn't angry at him anymore. "We need to tell my Father," she said suddenly.
Booth felt his sphincter tightening once more. "Tell Max that his baby girl is knocked up?" he managed to squeak. He felt a bit pale at the thought.
"He's not that bad," Bones said, chuckling as she knew that Max would take the opportunity to give Booth a hard time.
"Bones," Booth remonstrated. "The man torched the Deputy Director of the FBI. I think I can safely say the man won't think twice about crushing the jewels."
"He's not that bad," Bones chuckled as she got up and went to her desk. "I'll invite him over for dinner tonight and we can tell him together."
"I'll go buy a steel cup for my jock strap," Booth muttered as he went over and kissed her goodbye. "I'll pick you up at five."
A/N: This will have one more chapter which will be posted tomorrow once I've done a final edit. I also have several other chapters for other stories about ready to be posted as well, so this week should have a number of postings from me. I hope you're enjoying this one. Gregg.