It was just a stupid argument; he hadn't meant anything by it. He knew he shouldn't have told him those things, but he had. How callous could he really be? He's screwed up royally, and now he didn't know if he'd ever be able to apologize to him.

How could a rescue have gone so wrong? It was just supposed to be a rescue – belaying him down onto the ship to help the survivors and to winch them up one by one. He shouldn't have even gone down, it should have been me…but I was so pissed at him for calling me childish. He was my little brother, and I hurt him. I hurt him so bad. I didn't mean it. Please wake up. Please…

What should have been a normal rescue turned disastrous when the ship foundered, quaking as it broke into two. The waves caused by the storm washed up over the deck, my little brother fought to hang onto a couple of women and children that were being pelted with rain. He'd told them he'd never leave them. I could hear him over the comm link, but what I didn't hear – what none of us heard was his word of goodbye as a tidal wave washed up over the deck once more, slamming into him with such force that he had to have had the wind knocked out of him.

All I or any of us could hear was the women and children that he'd been holding onto when the wave slammed into him, screaming for him; begging him not to leave. All I could really hear after the screaming was drowned out was the gurgle of bubbles, it was just heart wrenching to ask him if he was okay…and to not hear a response. 'God why did you do it, was it because of what I said? Was it because I blamed you…blamed you for mom's death? You should have known better, I should have known better. It was out of our control! I swear I didn't mean any of it. When I said I wished you'd die, I didn't think you'd actually try it. Please, please…just wake up…please Alan.'

Gordon sat in the hall outside Alan's hospital room. Alan had been on life support, having basically drowned – but Gordon saved him. He liked to think he did anyway.

Swallowing thickly, Gordon cleared his throat – trying to dislodge the lump which had formed several hours ago when their family had made the decision to shut off Alan's life support. It'd been three months, and still Alan showed no signs of waking. The doctor proclaimed him to be brain dead, but Gordon just couldn't believe it. Alan wasn't brain dead…he couldn't be. He was always so vibrant and lively…he just couldn't be brain dead. Glancing back towards Alan's hospital room, Gordon swallowed once more as he noticed his father escorting a crying John from Alan's room. His turn was coming up, Scott already said his goodbyes, Virgil was next then him and God…he wasn't ready. He'd never be ready. Never. Never in a million years would he ever be ready to say goodbye to his one and only little brother.

"How is he John?" Gordon asked, hoping beyond all hope that maybe those were tears of joy and that Alan had woken up.

"No different…" John took a stuttering breath as he clamped his blue eyes closed, tears leaking down his cheeks as the full weight of his brother's death would have as an effect on their whole family.

Not bothering to wipe the fallen tears away, John simply held his head in his hands and cried. Here he was twenty eight years old and losing his baby brother. Alan had only been around twenty years…he shouldn't have to die. Not now anyway, he shouldn't have to die until he was well into his ninety's…warm in bed, ordering the nurses to go find his dentures, regaling the other patients with tales of when he'd been a thunderbird… nobody would think any different, they'd all assume Alan was just a senile old man telling tales just because he'd dreamed them up…but it looked like that day would never come.

Gordon looked at John – heartbreak clearly shining in his eyes. This never would have happened, if it hadn't been for Gordon picking a fight with Alan and for what…a laugh? Was it to mock Alan? Was it to make him feel some semblance of pain? To tear him down and watch him put super glue on the small shards of his fragile heart?

'Hey Sprout, why don't you let the big boys handle this mission? Stay here with the women folk and do what you do best.' Gordon smirked at Alan as he saw his face darken with anger.

'What's that supposed to mean?' Alan asked as he puffed out his chest – obviously bristling at being called girly in an indirect sense anyway.

'It's time for the big boys to go have some fun; you should stay here where you can actually be useful for a change.' Gordon walked past Alan and nudged him in the shoulder – making the kid stumble over his own two feet. 'See I was right.'

'You pushed me!' Alan replied vehemently.

'No I didn't you're just being a little baby.' Gordon said with a condescending tone.

'I'm being a baby?! You're the one who's always so immature and childish!' Alan's voice began to rise in anger and annoyance.

'No I'm not…I've been more grown up than you since the day you killed mom.' Gordon said, a cruel smirk playing across his face.

'I never killed mom! You know she died as a result of placental abruption! It wasn't my fault!' Alan declared.

He knew the reason why mom died, so did I and each of our brothers. She died in childbirth bringing Alan into the world. Something went wrong and the placenta tore away from the uterine wall. She'd apparently been bleeding for some time. It wasn't until she began to bleed while Alan was still safely tucked away in our mother's belly. Dad rushed her to the hospital, Alan still had to stay in mom's belly for two more months, but I guess he was being his usual stubborn self and decided to come early. Doctors couldn't stop the bleeding. Mom died barely an hour later…just long enough to make it past midnight so that she didn't actually die on her baby boy's day of birth.

'That's what they all say Alan.' Gordon said as he crept closer to Alan feeling the anger flowing off of Alan in waves. 'But I know you differently. When you were born, I wished it'd been you that had died…because I wanted mom back.'

'You bastard.' Alan said as he swung his fist, connecting with my jaw and knocking me flat on my ass. Virgil snapped at us and told Alan to get in the belay gear and go down. I obviously couldn't do it since Alan had knocked the sense out of me and dislocated my jaw.

'I'm the bastard?! Look who's talking! Don't fall and kill yourself, I'd hate to have to do the paperwork.' Gordon said as Virgil helped him up from the floor of TB2.

'I'm not suicidal or stupid, I'm not going to kill myself.' Alan growled as he suited up, making sure his helmet was on and he had the separate rescue harness to send the next person up in.

'I wish you would.' Gordon said as he wiped the dribble of blood from his chin. Damn Alan has a good right hook, he gave me a split lip.

'Fine.' When Alan said that I hadn't anticipated he'd take our argument seriously. I never expected him to allow himself be swept off board the ship and into the churning black waters around the ship.

Gordon's gaze was redirected to the hospital room door which Virgil was now exiting…had it already been an hour? We'd each get an hour to say our goodbyes to Alan before we took him off the vent. Tin-Tin said her goodbyes that morning, so had Brains. 'Looks like it's my turn next. I don't think I can do it. Help me Alan, please just wake up! Don't let me say goodbye!'

Turning his gaze up towards his father, Gordon tried to clear the knot from his throat once more and found it'd gotten larger. Nodding shakily, Gordon allowed himself to be led by his father to Alan's hospital room. He paused in the doorway of the semi-darkened room and took in everything. The brain activity scanner, Alan's brain function had remained at a constant since they'd gotten him hooked up, never once peaking or flat lining below the norm. The heart monitor which beat to a false rhythm…at least Gordon hoped not. Lastly his gaze was directed to Alan.

"Oh Alan…please." Gordon's eyes filled with tears as he looked upon his only little brother. "What have I done to you?"

Gordon stepped carefully across the room, intent on making it to Alan's bedside. When he'd made it, he looked upon Alan once more, taking in his features. His sapphire blue eyes were closed, possibly never to open again. His mouth closed, never to speak again…never to smile or crack off another joke.

Gordon decided to forgo the chair beside his little brother's bed and he sat on the bed instead. Taking Alan's hand in his, he turned that hand and traced the lines and squiggles, he and Alan used to laugh about them calling them roadmaps for germs when they were little boys. When they were little boys…they used to tell each other everything. What they were feeling and why, what their ambitions for the future were, what they hoped to accomplish someday. Alan always said he'd be the best man he could be… just like their father.

"You are…god you are. You are more of a man like dad than you ever really believed. If I could take back what I said…I'd take it all back, God I would. You have no idea how much I wished I could take back everything I said." Gordon gripped Alan's hand and kissed the palm. "Please Al, you've just got to wake up. Please, I'm not ready to say good bye."

Alan remained silent. Tears fell from Gordon's eyes as he realized that the likelihood of Alan waking up now, after three months were highly unlikely. Very unlikely. Bowing his head, Gordon felt the sobs breaking out of his chest and throat. It was his fault, Alan would never wake up now and it was all his fault.

"Please Alan, you've got to wake up. Help me out here and just open your eyes. I'm not ready yet…please." Gordon gripped Alan's hand tighter if that was possible and pulled Alan's hand to his chest. "Feel my heart beat; I know you've still got one – not an artificial one. Please Alan, you've got to wake up."

When Alan remained still and silent, the only response from Alan coming from the heart monitor which gave a steady beep as it continued to monitor Alan's heart rate.

"I'm not ready to say goodbye Sprout…I mean, you're my wingman. We do everything together. We always have and I don't think I can go on without you here with me Sprout. Please, if there was some way I could take back what I said, I'd…I'd do anything. Please just…Alan…please…I'm begging you. Just open your eyes and look at me. Let me know that you can hear me." Gordon's voice sounded choked up and he failed to contain his sobs. "Please I'm not ready to let you go Al, Allie…I love you. You're my only little brother and I don't want to be the youngest. That's your job. Please, give me something, anything!"

Gordon slid from the edge of the bed to kneel beside Alan's bedside. Looking at his brother with shining green eyes, Gordon grasped Alan's hand in his. He wasn't ready, he'd never be ready to say good bye to his brother. Hell would have to freeze over before he said goodbye to his baby brother. Tears fell singularly before being joined by more one after another. Sobs shook Gordon's frame and he couldn't contain them – he didn't give a damn who heard him crying. Tracy men didn't cry? Bullshit! He was losing the only person who really mattered to him at the moment.

"Gordon, it's time." Jeff entered the room and felt his heart breaking all over again as he saw Gordon, kneeling by Alan's bedside. Alan lay flat on his back, face unchanging and unmoving. Gordon lifted his head to look at Alan once more, before turning a tearful gaze to his father. Jeff felt his voice catch in his throat at the sight of Gordon's tearful gaze.

"No dad, please…I'm not ready." Gordon begged for more time to be by his brother…maybe with a little more time he'd wake up. He just needed a little coaxing. Alan could be stubborn like that sometimes. Bull headed as could be and sometimes wouldn't do as he was asked without being coaxed a little.

"None of us are ready son…but it's time. Alan's not going to wake up. It's been three months." Jeff said as he tried to bring his son forward, but Gordon remained steadfast by Alan's side unwilling to leave.

"I can't dad. Please, let's give it a little while longer. Let's give him a fighting chance. He's been through worse." Gordon begged.

"I don't want to put your brothers through having to say good bye again. They can't handle it again." Jeff really didn't want to keep Alan alive any longer if he wasn't showing any activity. It was not right to keep him alive to suit their needs.

"They don't have to. I'll stay. I'll shut him off when you say the word, but please give us more time together…please. I need to make this up to him dad." Gordon stayed kneeling beside Alan's bedside, still gripping his little brother's hand tightly in his.

Jeff wanted to say no and just shut Alan off, he obviously wasn't going to wake up, but there could be that chance. Possibly? Hopefully?

"Fine. But you will only get a little while longer. I don't want to extend this for the rest of his natural life, if there isn't a chance of him coming through this…I want to have him shut off. We're already going against his wishes by having him on life support." Jeff said as he turned out of the doorway, intent on giving Gordon the time he'd begged for.

As his father left, Gordon smiled slightly before turning back to Alan. "I get to keep you with me a little longer Sprout…will you do your big brother a favor and just open your eyes for me?"

Alan again remained silent, the only sign that gave any indication that Alan heard Gordon was a blip on the brain monitor that went unnoticed.

Gordon entered Alan's hospital room, returning from the cafeteria after Alan's nurse practically dragged him from the room. He entered the same way he had these past two months.

"Hey Sprout! How're you doing today?" Gordon walked in and sat by Alan's side on the bed. "You're just not going to answer me are you?"

Alan remained silent and Gordon glanced up at the brain activity monitor. There it was, the blip on the monitor the doctors were amazed to detect. Reaching down, Gordon shimmied his arm behind Alan's head gently so that he held Alan in his arms, the same way he had as a child when Alan was but a small infant in the NICU. Normally they never allowed children under the age of ten in the NICU, but…they'd allowed Jeff's sons in because he'd practically struck the fear of God into them when he came to visit his newborn son with his boys in tow. That was the first time that Gordon got to hold Alan and he'd always remembered it.

Alan was so tiny and cute, soft like a little peach…he was also fuzzy. Gordon could remember asking his dad if Alan was a monkey and Jeff had chuckled saying Alan wasn't a monkey…but he was their monkey. And boy did Alan live up to that title of monkey boy. Growing up was always fun. Alan was a little ball of fire who was hard to tame. It's what he usually liked about his brother. Scott, John and Virgil were always the don't get in trouble guys when Alan was usually the screw this let's get in a pot of hot water trouble kind of guy.

In fact it's what he missed the most in these five months that Alan had been in a coma after his drowning. His 'I don't give a shit, let's get gone' kind of attitude. It's what made Alan cool in his book and it's what he missed the most about his blonde fiery tempered little brother.

"You know kiddo, I'm still very sorry for what I said during that rescue. I've never wished you'd kill yourself or die…I was mad. I said some things that I shouldn't have and you suffered for my actions." Gordon quietly talked to Alan, not wanting the other patrons in the ICU to overhear their brother to brother conversation. "I know you're still in there, you're just refusing to listen to my request and wake up. You'd help get me out of my personal guilt trip if you woke up right now."

When Alan again remained quiet and still Gordon simply rolled his eyes.

"Still being pigheaded I see? Maybe this will get you to change your mind." Gordon tickled Alan in the ribs, hoping beyond everything that Alan would react and jerk away since Gordon targeted his most ticklish spot. But Alan remained unmoving. Feeling his playful side waning, Gordon reached out and simply held Alan's hand. "Please sprout, you don't know how sorry I am for making you feel like the only way out was to kill yourself. Please, I can't believe that's the way you'd want to go out. You always told me you'd prefer to die surrounded by beautiful women."

Gordon looked around candidly.

"News flash kiddo, I don't see any." Gordon tried to make light of their situation and hoped that perhaps Alan might see the humor in it and bark out a laugh…but when Alan just laid there – Gordon felt like giving up. "Please Sprout, we need you. From what dad says, Tracy Island has lost all its pizzazz since you left us. It's dead at the house. Scott just mopes around, watching all your favorite movies, even the few musicals you liked…John just stares at the ocean from your bluff, Virgil's quit playing the piano, because he can't bring himself to play anything – heaven forbid the songs he wrote for you. Like your theme song…you always said you had to have a theme and Virgil created one for you. Me? I haven't swam…not once in the five months that you've been here."

A beep made Gordon look up, his eyes widening at what he saw. Alan's brain activity monitor…it was…it was showing activity…and lots of it! Standing up, Gordon ran for the door to call a doctor to check Alan, this was the most activity he'd shown in several months!

"Doctor! Hey Doc! You need to come! It's Alan!" Gordon called from the door and he turned back to run back to Alan when he saw the doctor come running.

The doctor entered the room and looked at Alan, before glancing at the heart and brain monitors. Grabbing his pen light, he lifted Alan's eye lids and shone the light in to check if his eyes might begin to respond and found them to be sluggish. But they were reacting. They weren't reacting after Alan had been admitted to the hospital. But they were reacting now.

"I don't believe it." The doctor put on his stethoscope to check Alan's breathing to see if it had changed in rhythm at all. "He may just make it out of this after all."

Gordon looked upon his baby brother, tears highlighting his eyes.

"Come on little brother, you can do it. I know you've done more, but you've got just a little bit further until you're back with us eh kiddo?" Gordon returned to his seat and gripped Alan's hand tightly in his. "You've got to come home kiddo…nothing is the same without you. Life is meaningless without you."

When Alan remained still, Gordon didn't think anything of it. His stubborn little brother would wake when he was damn well ready to. He was still being stubborn, but looked like his resolve was crumbling. Gordon would do his best to annoy his brother until he opened his eyes and told him to shut his trap. Even if it took a lifetime, he'd do anything to make it up to Alan for his hurtful words. For making Alan feel like the only way to make it up to Gordon would be by claiming his own life by being a hero.

"Come on kiddo, I want to be able to give dad some good news tonight…you know he calls every night – asking if there might have been any change with you? I've been living on a cot right next door to you, I guess the medical staff got tired of finding me slumped over in a chair fast asleep – they provided a cot for me to sleep on since I'm afraid that you'll leave if I do." Gordon leaned in and pressed his forehead to Alan's, opening his eyes – Gordon hadn't expected anything to happen. It was a gesture he and Alan had created…a form of eskimo kiss between brothers – pressing their foreheads together so they could make strict eye contact.

A groan from Alan made Gordon damn near swallow his tongue.

"Alan? Please kiddo, come home…come back with me. You can do it kiddo, you're my best friend, please don't give up now." Gordon looked with renewed shining eyes at the brain activity monitor to see it was still making sharp blips. Gordon looked at the doctor that was still in the room with him and his brother and gave him a look….pleading with the doctor to say anything about his brother's condition.

"Keep talking to him, it looks like it's bringing him round." The doctor left the room briefly, assuming he'd gone to call a nurse in case Alan woke up in a panic or a flurry.

"I know you can do this kiddo, you're almost home. Just open your eyes for me and I'll let you sleep a little longer. Please, I'm begging here." Gordon reached out with a shaky hand and brushed Alan's bangs aside…caressing his smooth cheek – the nurses made sure that Alan remained shaved at Gordon's request. He knew Alan hated having a beard or mustache, claiming they were itchy, hot and uncomfortable. Most days Alan bemoaned being a guy because he hated to have to shave every morning in order to avoid the stubble which seemed to grow over night.

Suddenly a loud beeping sound was heard and Gordon looked around in alarm and panicked when he realized that something was going on with Alan's vent.

"No, no, no, no! Come on Alan please! Don't give up! Don't die! Don't die! Please I'm sorry!" Medical staff hurried into the room with a flurry and Gordon found himself being pulled farther from Alan and he fought back against the dozens of hands restraining him. "No! No! Alan! Don't go! Don't die! Please!"

"Get him out of here!" Another doctor barked as several more nurses ushered a struggling Gordon through the door and the redhead found the door slammed in his face.

"Damn it!" Gordon swung his fist and felt it connect with the wall. It hurt, but it didn't compare to the feel of his heart tearing from his chest. Dropping to his knees, Gordon sobbed out his hurt. Here he thought his brother was getting better and now they were separated. Time seemed to slow down immensely and the next thing he knew Alan's doctor was crouched down beside the ball that Gordon had formed into.

"I wanted to let you know that you can come back in now…after we've x-rayed that hand of yours."

"Alan's not dead?!" Gordon whispered shakily as he looked up at the doctor with puffy green eyes.

"No, he was bucking the vent. He's breathing on his own again…we removed the vent and he's maintaining on his own." The doctor placed a gentle hand on Gordon's shoulder. "Your brother is one hell of a fighter. He's not giving up this late in the game. Come on, let's go get your hand x-rayed and wrapped and then I'll let you back in with him."

Gordon allowed himself to be led from the hall by the doctor and he wasn't permitted to return until he'd gotten the x-rays and his hand in a cast…he broke three of the five metacarpals in his hand and while the doctor wasn't happy to have to deal with Gordon's broken bones, he understood that it was a heat of the moment injury.

Gordon returned to his cot, it'd been a long day but as he closed his eyes he looked upon his little brother and saw for the first time since that rescue that Alan no longer had that tube down his throat, breathing for him…he was breathing on his own and was maintaining. Not feeling ready to go to sleep yet, Gordon pushed his cot closer to Alan's bed so he could reach across and hold his brother's hand. His brother's hand felt warm for a change, no longer cold.

"Will you wake up for me tomorrow Sprout? Please? I never called dad – he doesn't know that you have made as much progress as you have." Gordon whispered to Alan, hoping his brother could hear him and would respond. But alas, Alan was still being stubborn. They didn't say that Tracy men liked their sleep for nothing. "Okay, well wake me up when you do…okay Sprout?"

Gordon interlocked his fingers with Alan's leaning over to whisper in his ear before going to sleep.

The next morning found Gordon biting his lip to contain the smart remark when he found Alan had again…not moved an inch. Just like every day since the rescue…since Gordon jumped from Thunderbird Two, barely stopping long enough to put on the harness and pulling the slack from the winch and using his swimmer's knowledge to assist him with placement. Virgil couldn't get to him quick enough to stop him from jumping practically six stories into the water. But Gordon had and he'd found Alan floating helplessly in the water.

Gordon gave a sharp tug on the line and like clockwork it started to pull him back to the surface. Alan was still in his harness, but wasn't hooked up to the line and Gordon wrapped his legs around Alan's and held onto his limp little brother tightly as they were both pulled into the air.

When Virgil managed to get them back into Thunderbird Two, Gordon hadn't wasted any time and he'd removed his helmet to begin rescue breathing (thankful that they'd stowed the evacuees in the cargo hold where the pods were kept) Alan on the other hand was rushed straight to the medical bay while Gordon and Virgil resumed rescue breathing and chest compressions to get Alan to cough up the water he'd inhaled.

"Come on Alan, don't you want to eat some breakfast? I'm sure you do not actually like the stuff they're giving through IV." Gordon had sat in the room with Alan when the breakfast cart came around and Gordon had gratefully accepted the plate of food that occasionally the nurses would have sent to him. "I'm telling you, you're missing out."

Gordon took a bite of his eggs and smiled at Alan. Nobody with the Tracy last name could resist food. Picking up a piece of bacon, Gordon wafted it beneath Alan's nose – hoping he could smell the wonderful morsel of food and awaken to try to take a bite. What he hadn't been expecting was Alan to give a cough.

"Hey, hey! Easy…Alan? Can you hear me? Calm down…" When Alan continued to cough, Gordon pushed his breakfast away and ran to get a doctor. When the doctor returned with Gordon, he checked Alan and was able to discern that nothing was immediately wrong with the youngest Tracy, his throat was just sore and dry thus making the youngest Tracy cough.

When Alan's eyes opened slowly – the doctor and Gordon both smiled. Gordon more so because his little brother was finally back among the living. Tears flooded his eyes and he struggled to not grab Alan tightly and hold him close.

"Alan can you hear me? If you can, please can you tell me where you are?" The doctor shone a light in Alan's eyes, making the young man clamp his eyes shut with a groan. "Alan?"

Alan remained quiet before dragging his eyes open. His groggy gaze landed on Gordon and with barely any strength, he muttered.

"Gordo…" Passing out once more Gordon and the doctor shared a glance.

"Dad! You're not going to believe it! Alan! He woke up!" Gordon sat in the doctor's office making use of the private vid phone and he smiled at his dad as he revealed the awesome news.

Jeff merely looked at him in disbelief.

"You're not?" Jeff started to say, his features cracking as his equally blue eyes that he shared with Alan filled with tears.

"No dad! I'm not yanking your chain! He woke up for about a minute." Gordon smiled truthfully as he looked at his father. "The doc says he's asleep now…not comatose."

"I don't believe it…" Jeff said as he sank back in his chair before looking at Gordon. "Are you sure? You didn't just imagine him waking up?"

"No dad…he woke up. He called me 'Gordo'. Ask the doc, he was there when Alan woke up." Gordon said as he was prepared to go get the doctor and have him confirm that yes Alan indeed woke up.

"I believe you Gordon, but…you saved his life." Jeff said still in disbelief. "Your brothers and I were prepared to take him off the vent but you never gave up hope that he'd wake up."

"I know, but Alan saved his own life too. He could have just given up, but he didn't. He's totally Tracy dad." Gordon said with a tearful smile. "I got to get back to him in case he wakes up again. Talk to you later dad."

"I'll see you later…I need to go let your brothers know and then we'll be by to visit." Jeff said as he brushed the few fallen tears that fell in Gordon's presence away.

"Okay dad…later." Gordon said as he signed off. Trotting out of the doctor's office, Gordon made his way back to Alan's hospital room. He wanted to hurry in case Alan woke up…he knew Alan hated to be alone and he didn't want him to wake up alone. Increasing his speed to a jog, Gordon made it back to Alan's room in record time.

As he sat by Alan's bedside again, he took hold of Alan's hand once more. Gently stroking Alan's hand, Gordon traced the scars left from accidents as children and accidents with sharp implements, even those from rescues. Looking upon Alan's face, Gordon released a huge sigh. It'd be really great if Alan woke up right now. He'd been in hibernation the past five months; he had to be getting tired of sleeping.

"You know dad and the boys are going to come visit you later? It'd be nice if you'd gotten up and got a bath…you kinda stink sprout." Gordon said in hopes he'd get a retort but all he got was a snore from Alan and him actually moving in his sleep. He'd rolled over to face Gordon. As Gordon leaned into Alan's face to see if he could still hear his breathing the unexpected happened in the form of a knuckle to his scalp. "Ow! Christ!"

"That's what you get for saying I stink." Alan opened his eyes and glared at Gordon. His glare was more sleepy than anything, but it still carried the heat of an angry Alan.

"Alan?" Gordon couldn't find it in him to be mad at Alan, he couldn't contain his joy at seeing Alan awake for a change and he grabbed Alan and squeezed him to his chest. Alan made an 'oof' sound as Gordon squeezed him tightly. "Don't you ever do that again you moron! Don't try to get out of here by being a hero!"

"Gordo?" Alan was confused…what had he done? What was Gordon talking about?

"I wish I'd never said I wished you would die. I'm sorry!" Gordon's voice broke. "Please! Don't you ever do that again!"

"What are you talking about?" Alan asked as he began to feel lightheaded. "Gordo, I can't breathe."

"Of course you couldn't breathe! You fool! You nearly drowned!" Gordon said as he increased his hold on Alan not realizing that Alan was trying to tell him that he couldn't breathe at the moment.

"Gordo…can't…breathe…you're c-crushing me." Alan said in a strangled voice when Gordon finally got the message that he was holding Alan too tight.

"Oh my god!" Gordon instantly released Alan and simply held onto his shoulders while his pink faced little brother worked to gather air again. "I'm so sorry Alan!"

"What are you sorry for?" Alan asked as he put a hand on his chest, willing his racing heart to calm down.

"I almost killed you." Gordon said. "Again."

"What? What are you talking about?" Alan looked in confusion.

"What I said to you…that day…during the rescue. I almost killed you…because you tried to kill yourself." Gordon sat on Alan's bed and pulled Alan back into his arms. "I'm sorry."

"Gordo no you didn't and neither did I…it was an accident." Alan finally realized what Gordon was getting at and he wanted to stop that line of thought immediately.

"But…" Gordon tried to argue, but Alan silenced the argument.

"Gordo, no you didn't." Alan said with a stern look. "It was an accident."

'Alan knelt at the bow of the ship, his arms bracing two woman and three children that had fallen. He held tightly to railing and hissed as the rain pelted him in the face. The half visor only protected so much of his face and the exposed part was really taking a beating with the storm.

"Here! Put on the harness! When I give my comrade the signal he'll pull you up to Thunderbird Two!" Alan bellowed to be heard over the howling wind. The woman in which he spoke to was terrified and Alan was unable to discern if those were tears cascading down her face or if those were drops of ocean water and rain. He'd imagine they were both as he chest heaved with her cries.

"I can't leave my baby!" The woman yelled back as she clutched her equally terrified son to her chest.

"He'll be fine with me!" Alan argued.

"No!" The woman argued, but Alan knew what he had to do would get him reprimanded by his dad and brothers but he had to get everybody evacuated. He couldn't do that if he had a terrified mother unwilling to leave her eight year old son with him for a few moments.

Standing up hurriedly, Alan slipped out of his harness and helped the boy into it, prompting the mother to step into her harness. When he had them all ready to go, he raised his hand to give the signal and that's when the wave washed up over the deck and slammed into him. He'd knocked his head into the railing and the helmet meant to protect him hadn't done its job and Alan was stunned by the blow – unable to grab ahold of anything as the water took him with. He was still aware of what was happening, but could do nothing to stop it.'

"But what I said to you." Gordon said as he'd pulled out of the hug to look at his little brother.

"I knew it was said in anger…You know me better than that. Why would I kill myself? Do you really think I'd be so stupid as to leave you all behind?" Alan asked, expecting an answer.

"To get back at me, for what I said. Make me feel the pain you must have felt when I said it." Gordon said as tears shone in his eyes once more.

"Of course not you idiot…I'd never do that to you guys. I love you too much to die and leave you all here without me." Alan initiated the hug this time and he pulled Gordon close. "I'd never do that to you."

"Can you forgive me?" Gordon asked as he wept on Alan's shoulder, happy to have his little brother back after five long and painful months.

"I already have." Alan pulled back to look at his teary eyed big brother. "There's nothing to forgive."

If Gordon thought he'd been a cry baby for crying over Alan's almost death, then he'd become a blubbering fool when Alan told him he'd forgiven him.

A/N: So here's another story I dreamed up out of the blue. It was originally meant to be a songfic using No Way Out by Phil Collins from Brother Bear but before posting I got cold feet and made a copy of the story without the lyrics so I wouldn't be infringing on the site rules. Hope you all like it.

Also, did anybody receive an email notification that I updated Annoying Ways to Wake Your Brother? Was surprised to not have any reviews on the third chapter and was wondering if any of you even received a notification. It's been updated about the last four days I think... If you didn't can you please let me know so I know if I need to contact Fan fiction due to a system error or something. That'd be greatly appreciated.

Sorry for not posting anything on Rising From The Ashes in a while - I just got through with midterms and it's been pretty hectic.

Hope to have something more to add to it in another week maybe...after I'm able to complete my homework assignments.

~Angel~