Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry that I can't believe
That anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me
Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry I could be so blind
Didn't mean to leave you and all of the things that we had behind
Archie never realised a broken heart would feel like this. He also had no idea the first person to break his heart would be himself. Because he can't blame Betty for that.
He lies on his bed, still in his suit jacket, feeling sick to his stomach. He's petrified that he's lost Betty forever.
I'm asking you right now if you love me.
Of course I love you. But I can't give you the answer you want.
He feels like an idiot for not seeing it coming. Of course Betty thinks they'd make a great couple. Hell, half the people in this town probably do. The boy and girl next door? What a perfect cliché.
But he didn't see how the way she looked at him had changed. He hadn't known what she was feeling, what she was thinking. How could have been so blind? And now, because of his obliviousness, he's hurt Betty. The last thing he'd ever want to do. He always swore to himself he would hurt anyone who dared to break Betty's heart. He never imagined it would be him. But true to his word, he'd hurt himself in the process.
But he meant what he said. Betty deserves better than him. Someone who doesn't kiss strange girls in closets. Someone who doesn't screw their teacher. Someone who doesn't ignore their friends for a whole summer because he's busy with said teacher. Archie knows he's a terrible person. Maybe it's about time Betty finally saw it too.
And then there's the niggling feeling deep down in his gut, that he can't quite shake. Something telling him that Betty can't possibly love him anyway. Even if all that other stuff wasn't true. Did she say she loved him? He tries to remember her saying the words and he comes up short. She doesn't love him, of course she doesn't. Someone like her could never love somebody like him. She just thinks she loves him. Or she loves the idea of the boy next door, or the image of the cheerleader and the football player. Romantic cliché's she's been taught from birth. Paper cut outs that he happens to fit into, if he hacks away the dark parts of him that he doesn't show anyone.
He reaches up to rub his eyes and finds his cheeks wet with his own tears. When had he started crying?
Maybe he really has lost her. And maybe it's for the best. She'll wake up one day and realise she's better off without him. And maybe one day she'll look back and remember the boy next door with fond nostalgia, and the heartbreak will seem like some distant dream.
Archie looks towards his window. Her curtains are shut, of course. He wishes he could see her. He wishes he could say something to make it better.
"Someday, someone is going to love you more than I ever could," he whispers to himself, pretending she can hear him.