Prologue
Ordinarily, I am not someone who is sentimental enough to consider the past. I am not prone to reminiscing, or dwelling on that which I cannot change. So much time has passed, and there has been great suffering.
I have alternately been viewed as phantasm, specter and apparition. Much of my existence has been spent in the fevered nightmares of disbelieving travelers, wanderers and the otherwise dispossessed. I am predator, glorious death, sweet release.
Having said that, you must understand that I do not take death lightly; I revere him, challenge him. And while he waits for those who have not transcended time, I watch….
This memoir, this explanation of how things came to be as they are, is owed entirely to my darling wife, Sookie. She believes that I can unburden my soul by revealing my innermost trials and tribulations, and that somehow I will be cleansed. She believes me to have a soul, but I know that she is wrong. While I do not see the value in recounting the past, she has asked me to. I will always do what she asks of me. I owe her the universe. She is very brave, impetuous and I love her.
Our daughter is sleeping in a cradle beside me. I have built a very large fire to keep her warm as she sleeps. She is a perfect miracle, and I am in awe every time I gaze upon her impossibly tiny features and curled pink fists.
When we announced her pregnancy, many accused Sookie of having had an affair, but when Marissa was born, there was no doubt that I am her father. She has my nose, my mouth and my cheekbones. When she graces you with her silver-eyed stare, it is as if she is deep in thought. I stare at her often.
My first daughter, Relka was under-weight and sickly. I wasn't able to spend any time with her, as I was expected to lead our people through a treacherous famine in my village. It was a different time then. Fathers weren't expected to have a relationship with their children. I can't imagine not. So, I write this, for Sookie, for Marissa, and ultimately for my lost children; Timus, Relka and Segen.
Sookie came into the library and kissed me. She leaned over Marissa and pulled the blanket down. I admit, I have a difficult time gauging a temperature that is comfortable for either of them, considering I cannot tell how warm is too warm.
She smiled when she saw me writing and offered me her wrist. I kissed it tenderly and grazed her with my fangs. I have shared a bottle of Royalty with Marius, who is riding Avalon across the meadow with Fallon. Meshra and Natalia are cleaning the kitchen. Natalia is so happy to have a woman to talk to. Sookie has learned enough Russian in the last few months to communicate with her, but Meshra and she can gossip, and discuss the politics of the country.
Marissa startled and I placed my palm on her chest to calm her. She sighed deeply, and settled back into restful sleep. I am glad that she seems primarily human. She has shown a slight sensitivity to sunlight, and she does tend to be more alert at night than during the daytime, but she does not seem to need blood. Much like her mother, she is something new entirely.
I looked over at Sookie. Motherhood has made her even more stunning than she was before. She caught me staring and winked at me. She curled up in the window seat and began reading a book. I hated to think that she and I nearly lost out on this chance to be together. When I thought about the months that we were separated and how awful it was for me, it surprised me that we were able to make it through. There were things that I would never be able to discuss with her, things that may crush her if she knew them. I have kept those things to myself. I never wanted to think about those awful months again, but they led to the most wonderful time of my life; so if I must relive all of this, then it is back in that awful October that I shall begin.