Stamford Connecticut "Attitude" High School
by:
Sara Melnyk
(1st period)
Ms. Ivory: Ok class, time to go over....JERRY!!!!!
Jim Ross:(thinks to himself) Ha! Jerry did it this time! What an ass!
Ms. Ivory walks over to Jerry's desk, seeing him with a collectors edition of Playboy magazine. Ms. Ivory quickly grabs it from his hand.
Jerry: HEY! I was reading that!
Ms. Ivory: Mr. Lawler, this is nothing but filth! How dare you bring a pornographic magazine into school?!
Jerry: Well, you said this is a reading class.
Ms. Ivory: Yes I did but....
Jerry: So I am reading.
Ms. Ivory: MR. LAWLER, YOU ARE NOT READING ANY.... OH MY GOD!!!!!
WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?!!!!
The whole class turns around, sees Jerry and bursts out with laughter.
Hunter: HAHAHAHA! Oh man, I should have brought my playboy in today! And I would be doing the same thing as Jerry.
Ms. Ivory: GERALD K. LAWLER, YOU ARE A PERVERT!!
Jerry: Yeah and your point is?
Ms. Ivory: ugggggggghhhh!! GERALD K. LAWLER, GO TO THE OFFICE NOW!!!
Everyone in the class laughs.
Jerry: (whispers) Hey Ross, look what I got you before I leave.
Jerry secretly pulls out another issue of playboy, one featuring football team,
The Oklahoma Sooners' cheerleaders.
Jim Ross: (whispers back) Thanks "King".
Ross secretly tucks his magazine into his bookbag.
Meanwhile, after Jerry left, Ms. Ivory pages the office.
Mr. Brisco: damn it Patterson, gimme that...... OH! Uh, Yes?
Ms. Ivory: Um, I just sent Gerald Lawler down to the office.
Mr. Brisco: (yells at Mr. Patterson in background) WHAT THE HELL PATTERSON!WILL YOU STOP THAT!...... Uh, ok. Thanks Ms. Ivory.
Ms. Ivory: (thinks to herself) Mr. Brisco and Mr. Patterson have got to be the craziest and dumbest assistant principals in school.
(Home room)
In home room 316, Mr. Finkel takes attendance.
Mr. Finkel: Hunter H. Helmsley?
Here!
Mr. Finkel: Chyna?
Here
Mr. Finkel: Jessie James?
Here
Mr. Finkle: Paul Bearer?
(silence)
Mr. Finkel: Paul Bearer?
At that moment, Paul Bearer comes waddling in with 3-4 doughnuts in his mouth.
Paul Bearer: chomp, chomp, chomp, sorry I'm late Mr. Finkel. I was working at
the breakfast club and they let me stay to have some thing to eat. Chomp, chomp. Here is my hall pass.(Hands Mr. Finkel his hall pass)
Mr. Finkel: Very well Mr. Bearer. Anyway,(looks at his roll sheet) Jim Ross?
Here
Mr. Finkel: Steve Austin?
Here!
Mr. Finkel: Dee Nuts?
The class bursts with laughter
Mr. Finkel: Whats so funny? I'm just asking if Dee Nuts is here.
The class bursts out with laughter again.
Hunter: (whispers) Hahahaha! Good one Billy.
Billy:(grins) Thanks!
Mr. Finkel: and Billy Gunn?
Haha! Here
The speaker comes on for the morning annoucements.
Mr. Patterson: Good morning Stamford! All rise for the Allegiance of Pledge!
Mr. Brisco: (whispers) Patterson! Its "please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance" you idiot!
Mr. Patterson:(whispers back) Shut up Brisco! I just made one mistake, and your jumping down my throat about it!
Every one in home room started giggling at the bickering assistant principals, while Mr. Finkel was appalled.
Mr.Finkel:(thinks to himself) What morons!
Mr. Patterson: Ahem! Anyway, I pledge Allegiance to the flag, of the United States
of Canada!
Mr.Brisco: ITS AMERICA STUPID! NOT CANADA!
The whole classroom roars with laughter.
Mr. Patterson: I KNOW THAT, YOU FOOL! ITS JUST ANOTHER DAMN MISTAKE AND I'M SORRY. Ahem! Lets just skip that part for today and go on with the rest of the announcements.
Mr.Brisco: Good morning, Stamford Attitude High School. This is Mr. Brisco with
a few worlds of wisdom.
Mr. Patterson: DAMN IT BRISCO! ITS WORDS OF WISDOM, NOT WORLDS
OF WISDOM! YOUR SO DAMN STUPID!!!!
Mr.Brisco: SHUT THE HELL UP PATTERSON!
Shortly, Mr. Patterson and Mr. Brisco broke out into a big fight. Their grunts, groans, and insults could be heard all over the school and everyone was out of their seats laughing, even some teachers.
Mr.Brisco: TAKE THIS PATTERSON, YOU GAY ASS FRENCHMAN!
Mr.Patterson:OH JUST SHUT UP! YOUR DEAD BRISCO!!!!!
Wait a minuite! wait a minuite! WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUITE!!!!
That shouting could mean only one man. The principal of the school, Mr. Vince McMahon.
Mr.Brisco: Uh oh! He started it Mr. MacMahon! I swear!
Mr. Patterson: Like hell I did! You were the one who.....
Mr. McMahon:ENOUGH!!!! BOTH OF YOU!!! I AM SO DAMN SICK OF YOU TWO MAKE ASSES OUT OF YOURSELVES AND MAKE OUR SCHOOL LOOK BAD! EVERY MORNING IT'S THE SAME OLD THING! WELL, I HAVE ONLY ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU! MR. PATTERSON, MR, BRISCO, YOU'RE FIRED! NOW TAKE YOUR ASSESS OFF MY SCHOOL!!!!
Later.
(Afternoon bell rings)
Everyone scrambles in the hallways to get to their next class.
Jim Ross: Oh man! That was so funny what happened to Mr. Brisco and Mr. Patterson earlier this morning today Paul.
Paul Bearer: I know what you mean J.R. (Paul takes a bite out of his jumbo cheeseburger).
J.R and Paul Bearer stop at at the top of the stairs to talk.
Jim Ross: You know Paul, you seem to eat a lot of food.
Paul stops eating and stares at J.R
Paul Bearer: What are you getting at Ross? Are you trying to tell me what to do?
Jim Ross: No No! Not at all. I'm just saying.
Paul Bearer:(angry)WELL! YOU HAVE A LOT OF NERVE OF CALLING ME FAT! YOU'RE NOT SO WELL BUILT YOURSELF!
Jim Ross:HOW DARE YOU!
Suddenly, a slap fight begins at the top of the stairs, causing other people, such as Hunter and his girl Chyna, to stop and watch the "fight"(if you can call slapping each other around an actual fight).
Paul Bearer:YOU NO GOOD OKLAHOMASEXUAL!!!!
Jim Ross: FATASS BEAST!!!!
Soon the slaps turn into a shoving match.
Jim Ross: YOU HOG!!!
Paul Bearer:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
J.R didn't realize how hard he push Paul Bearer and Bearer went rolling down the stairs, taking out innocent bystanders in the process.
At the bottom of the stairs
Jim Cornette: Well, I gotta go to gym, Shawn. I'll see you...... huh?! What the hell is all that(he looks up to see a tumbling Paul Bearer coming his way) AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Cornette tried to get out of the way, but failed and got crushed by the bulking weight of Paul Bearer.
Jim Ross: MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Mr. McMahon, upon hearing the commotion, ran to the stairwell. There, he saw people broken in half and crushed by the weight of Paul Bearer.Hunter and Chyna told McMahon what had happened and he was furious.
Mr. McMahon: JAMES ANTHONY ROSS! WHAT THE HELL WHERE YOU THINKING?!
Jim Ross:I uh.... well you see...... um. GOTTA GO!
J.R tried to leave the scene of the crime, but McMahon's two new assistant principals stopped him in his tracks. They were Mr. Rock, formerly a teacher at Candyass Community College and Mr. Taker, former teacher at the University of American Bad Asses. After this whole incident, Jim Ross was transfered to The Damn Dudleys' Wardancing on Tables Camp, where he was put through hundreds of tables, did the wardance in his boxers, and the ultimate horror: The Banned From WWF T.V: Mae Young's Puppies Version. J.R was never, eeeeeeeeevvvverrr the same Again!!!
Till' Next Time,
The End
*It sounds pretty corny I know. I was just bored when I was writing this. Still, I hope you like it even if its a bad one*
by:
Sara Melnyk
(1st period)
Ms. Ivory: Ok class, time to go over....JERRY!!!!!
Jim Ross:(thinks to himself) Ha! Jerry did it this time! What an ass!
Ms. Ivory walks over to Jerry's desk, seeing him with a collectors edition of Playboy magazine. Ms. Ivory quickly grabs it from his hand.
Jerry: HEY! I was reading that!
Ms. Ivory: Mr. Lawler, this is nothing but filth! How dare you bring a pornographic magazine into school?!
Jerry: Well, you said this is a reading class.
Ms. Ivory: Yes I did but....
Jerry: So I am reading.
Ms. Ivory: MR. LAWLER, YOU ARE NOT READING ANY.... OH MY GOD!!!!!
WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?!!!!
The whole class turns around, sees Jerry and bursts out with laughter.
Hunter: HAHAHAHA! Oh man, I should have brought my playboy in today! And I would be doing the same thing as Jerry.
Ms. Ivory: GERALD K. LAWLER, YOU ARE A PERVERT!!
Jerry: Yeah and your point is?
Ms. Ivory: ugggggggghhhh!! GERALD K. LAWLER, GO TO THE OFFICE NOW!!!
Everyone in the class laughs.
Jerry: (whispers) Hey Ross, look what I got you before I leave.
Jerry secretly pulls out another issue of playboy, one featuring football team,
The Oklahoma Sooners' cheerleaders.
Jim Ross: (whispers back) Thanks "King".
Ross secretly tucks his magazine into his bookbag.
Meanwhile, after Jerry left, Ms. Ivory pages the office.
Mr. Brisco: damn it Patterson, gimme that...... OH! Uh, Yes?
Ms. Ivory: Um, I just sent Gerald Lawler down to the office.
Mr. Brisco: (yells at Mr. Patterson in background) WHAT THE HELL PATTERSON!WILL YOU STOP THAT!...... Uh, ok. Thanks Ms. Ivory.
Ms. Ivory: (thinks to herself) Mr. Brisco and Mr. Patterson have got to be the craziest and dumbest assistant principals in school.
(Home room)
In home room 316, Mr. Finkel takes attendance.
Mr. Finkel: Hunter H. Helmsley?
Here!
Mr. Finkel: Chyna?
Here
Mr. Finkel: Jessie James?
Here
Mr. Finkle: Paul Bearer?
(silence)
Mr. Finkel: Paul Bearer?
At that moment, Paul Bearer comes waddling in with 3-4 doughnuts in his mouth.
Paul Bearer: chomp, chomp, chomp, sorry I'm late Mr. Finkel. I was working at
the breakfast club and they let me stay to have some thing to eat. Chomp, chomp. Here is my hall pass.(Hands Mr. Finkel his hall pass)
Mr. Finkel: Very well Mr. Bearer. Anyway,(looks at his roll sheet) Jim Ross?
Here
Mr. Finkel: Steve Austin?
Here!
Mr. Finkel: Dee Nuts?
The class bursts with laughter
Mr. Finkel: Whats so funny? I'm just asking if Dee Nuts is here.
The class bursts out with laughter again.
Hunter: (whispers) Hahahaha! Good one Billy.
Billy:(grins) Thanks!
Mr. Finkel: and Billy Gunn?
Haha! Here
The speaker comes on for the morning annoucements.
Mr. Patterson: Good morning Stamford! All rise for the Allegiance of Pledge!
Mr. Brisco: (whispers) Patterson! Its "please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance" you idiot!
Mr. Patterson:(whispers back) Shut up Brisco! I just made one mistake, and your jumping down my throat about it!
Every one in home room started giggling at the bickering assistant principals, while Mr. Finkel was appalled.
Mr.Finkel:(thinks to himself) What morons!
Mr. Patterson: Ahem! Anyway, I pledge Allegiance to the flag, of the United States
of Canada!
Mr.Brisco: ITS AMERICA STUPID! NOT CANADA!
The whole classroom roars with laughter.
Mr. Patterson: I KNOW THAT, YOU FOOL! ITS JUST ANOTHER DAMN MISTAKE AND I'M SORRY. Ahem! Lets just skip that part for today and go on with the rest of the announcements.
Mr.Brisco: Good morning, Stamford Attitude High School. This is Mr. Brisco with
a few worlds of wisdom.
Mr. Patterson: DAMN IT BRISCO! ITS WORDS OF WISDOM, NOT WORLDS
OF WISDOM! YOUR SO DAMN STUPID!!!!
Mr.Brisco: SHUT THE HELL UP PATTERSON!
Shortly, Mr. Patterson and Mr. Brisco broke out into a big fight. Their grunts, groans, and insults could be heard all over the school and everyone was out of their seats laughing, even some teachers.
Mr.Brisco: TAKE THIS PATTERSON, YOU GAY ASS FRENCHMAN!
Mr.Patterson:OH JUST SHUT UP! YOUR DEAD BRISCO!!!!!
Wait a minuite! wait a minuite! WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUITE!!!!
That shouting could mean only one man. The principal of the school, Mr. Vince McMahon.
Mr.Brisco: Uh oh! He started it Mr. MacMahon! I swear!
Mr. Patterson: Like hell I did! You were the one who.....
Mr. McMahon:ENOUGH!!!! BOTH OF YOU!!! I AM SO DAMN SICK OF YOU TWO MAKE ASSES OUT OF YOURSELVES AND MAKE OUR SCHOOL LOOK BAD! EVERY MORNING IT'S THE SAME OLD THING! WELL, I HAVE ONLY ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU! MR. PATTERSON, MR, BRISCO, YOU'RE FIRED! NOW TAKE YOUR ASSESS OFF MY SCHOOL!!!!
Later.
(Afternoon bell rings)
Everyone scrambles in the hallways to get to their next class.
Jim Ross: Oh man! That was so funny what happened to Mr. Brisco and Mr. Patterson earlier this morning today Paul.
Paul Bearer: I know what you mean J.R. (Paul takes a bite out of his jumbo cheeseburger).
J.R and Paul Bearer stop at at the top of the stairs to talk.
Jim Ross: You know Paul, you seem to eat a lot of food.
Paul stops eating and stares at J.R
Paul Bearer: What are you getting at Ross? Are you trying to tell me what to do?
Jim Ross: No No! Not at all. I'm just saying.
Paul Bearer:(angry)WELL! YOU HAVE A LOT OF NERVE OF CALLING ME FAT! YOU'RE NOT SO WELL BUILT YOURSELF!
Jim Ross:HOW DARE YOU!
Suddenly, a slap fight begins at the top of the stairs, causing other people, such as Hunter and his girl Chyna, to stop and watch the "fight"(if you can call slapping each other around an actual fight).
Paul Bearer:YOU NO GOOD OKLAHOMASEXUAL!!!!
Jim Ross: FATASS BEAST!!!!
Soon the slaps turn into a shoving match.
Jim Ross: YOU HOG!!!
Paul Bearer:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
J.R didn't realize how hard he push Paul Bearer and Bearer went rolling down the stairs, taking out innocent bystanders in the process.
At the bottom of the stairs
Jim Cornette: Well, I gotta go to gym, Shawn. I'll see you...... huh?! What the hell is all that(he looks up to see a tumbling Paul Bearer coming his way) AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Cornette tried to get out of the way, but failed and got crushed by the bulking weight of Paul Bearer.
Jim Ross: MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Mr. McMahon, upon hearing the commotion, ran to the stairwell. There, he saw people broken in half and crushed by the weight of Paul Bearer.Hunter and Chyna told McMahon what had happened and he was furious.
Mr. McMahon: JAMES ANTHONY ROSS! WHAT THE HELL WHERE YOU THINKING?!
Jim Ross:I uh.... well you see...... um. GOTTA GO!
J.R tried to leave the scene of the crime, but McMahon's two new assistant principals stopped him in his tracks. They were Mr. Rock, formerly a teacher at Candyass Community College and Mr. Taker, former teacher at the University of American Bad Asses. After this whole incident, Jim Ross was transfered to The Damn Dudleys' Wardancing on Tables Camp, where he was put through hundreds of tables, did the wardance in his boxers, and the ultimate horror: The Banned From WWF T.V: Mae Young's Puppies Version. J.R was never, eeeeeeeeevvvverrr the same Again!!!
Till' Next Time,
The End
*It sounds pretty corny I know. I was just bored when I was writing this. Still, I hope you like it even if its a bad one*