The Turk's News at Nine.
"We will waste your time."
Reno is the anchor, Rude is co-anchor, Elena does the weather and Tseng does sports.
Reno: Hi. Welcome to the...Hey! Where the hell is the script? I forgot my intro! WAAAAAAHH!
(Rude shoves Reno off the stage.)
Rude: Welcome to the Turk's News at Nine where we will waste your time. First story-
Elena: Hey! You're wasting MY time! Get on with it!
(Elena throws pointer at Rude.)
Rude: (Rubbing his head) Well, we ARE supposed to waste your time...
Elena: Hey! I don't care! I have things to do! (retrieves her pointer from the floor) First we have a current moving into Midgar and...
Rude: (uses a stop materia on Elena) Sorry folks, let's go to Sports!
Elena: (pulls ribbon out of pocket) No you don't! (uses deathblow on Rude)
Rude: (returns with grand spark) Hey, I'm in charge here!
Reno: (staggers onto stage, clearly very drunk) Heehee! I'm a fairy princess! Wee!
Rude: Uh...let's go to a commercial break. When we come back, everything should be normal again. This is Turk's News at Nine where we will waste your time
(Backstage director buries his head in his hands, very depressed. Meanwhile, it has turned into a free-for-all onstage and Reno is still drunk)
Elena: YOU BITCH! (uses fire3 on Rude)
Rude: (retaliates with ice3) Hey! I'm not the whore around here!
Reno: Heehee! I'm a fairy princess!
Elena: I AM NOT A WHORE! (uses bolt3)
Tseng: Uh...guys? What happened to the show?
Elena + Rude: SCREW THE SHOW! (both beat Tseng into a bloody pulp)
Reno: I will hic use my hic wand on hic you! ( taps Tseng on the head with Elena's pointer)
Elena: (screaming) I AM NOT A WHORE!
Rude: RIGHT! YOU"VE SLEPT WITH EVERY CAMERA MAN ON THE FRICKIN' SHOW!
Elena: NO I HAVEN'T! THE ONLY MAN I EVER SLEPT WITH WAS-nevermind...
Rude: Ooohh! Who didja sleep with?
Elena: Blushing furiously) nobody!
Camera man: We are on in five...
(Elena stares at Rude with venom in her eyes)
Camera man: four...
Rude: Is there something in your eye?
Camera man: three...
(Reno dances around in a tutu and ballet slippers. Nobody questions him though he does get funny looks)
Camera man: two...
(Elena, unable to take it anymore, wraps her hands around Rude's neck and starts to strangle him.)
Camera man: One! We are on!
(Camera focuses on Elena strangling Rude and yelling at him)
Elena: I AM NOT A WHORE!
(Suddenly Reno crashes into the main camera. The screen goes blank and the show ends)
Author's note- Okay. That was a little weird. A can of flat soda and five dozen six-month-old candies tends to do that. Anyway, I hope you like it. If not, then kiss my @$$. R&R please! Flame if you want, I don't give a flying rat's @$$. Oh yeah, all the characters belong to Squaresoft though I do wish Reno was mine... Read my other fics, A Turk's Thoughts and ShinRa's Island. Also, read James Wolfstar's fics. Thanks.
~The Second Death Dragon~
"We will waste your time."
Reno is the anchor, Rude is co-anchor, Elena does the weather and Tseng does sports.
Reno: Hi. Welcome to the...Hey! Where the hell is the script? I forgot my intro! WAAAAAAHH!
(Rude shoves Reno off the stage.)
Rude: Welcome to the Turk's News at Nine where we will waste your time. First story-
Elena: Hey! You're wasting MY time! Get on with it!
(Elena throws pointer at Rude.)
Rude: (Rubbing his head) Well, we ARE supposed to waste your time...
Elena: Hey! I don't care! I have things to do! (retrieves her pointer from the floor) First we have a current moving into Midgar and...
Rude: (uses a stop materia on Elena) Sorry folks, let's go to Sports!
Elena: (pulls ribbon out of pocket) No you don't! (uses deathblow on Rude)
Rude: (returns with grand spark) Hey, I'm in charge here!
Reno: (staggers onto stage, clearly very drunk) Heehee! I'm a fairy princess! Wee!
Rude: Uh...let's go to a commercial break. When we come back, everything should be normal again. This is Turk's News at Nine where we will waste your time
(Backstage director buries his head in his hands, very depressed. Meanwhile, it has turned into a free-for-all onstage and Reno is still drunk)
Elena: YOU BITCH! (uses fire3 on Rude)
Rude: (retaliates with ice3) Hey! I'm not the whore around here!
Reno: Heehee! I'm a fairy princess!
Elena: I AM NOT A WHORE! (uses bolt3)
Tseng: Uh...guys? What happened to the show?
Elena + Rude: SCREW THE SHOW! (both beat Tseng into a bloody pulp)
Reno: I will hic use my hic wand on hic you! ( taps Tseng on the head with Elena's pointer)
Elena: (screaming) I AM NOT A WHORE!
Rude: RIGHT! YOU"VE SLEPT WITH EVERY CAMERA MAN ON THE FRICKIN' SHOW!
Elena: NO I HAVEN'T! THE ONLY MAN I EVER SLEPT WITH WAS-nevermind...
Rude: Ooohh! Who didja sleep with?
Elena: Blushing furiously) nobody!
Camera man: We are on in five...
(Elena stares at Rude with venom in her eyes)
Camera man: four...
Rude: Is there something in your eye?
Camera man: three...
(Reno dances around in a tutu and ballet slippers. Nobody questions him though he does get funny looks)
Camera man: two...
(Elena, unable to take it anymore, wraps her hands around Rude's neck and starts to strangle him.)
Camera man: One! We are on!
(Camera focuses on Elena strangling Rude and yelling at him)
Elena: I AM NOT A WHORE!
(Suddenly Reno crashes into the main camera. The screen goes blank and the show ends)
Author's note- Okay. That was a little weird. A can of flat soda and five dozen six-month-old candies tends to do that. Anyway, I hope you like it. If not, then kiss my @$$. R&R please! Flame if you want, I don't give a flying rat's @$$. Oh yeah, all the characters belong to Squaresoft though I do wish Reno was mine... Read my other fics, A Turk's Thoughts and ShinRa's Island. Also, read James Wolfstar's fics. Thanks.
~The Second Death Dragon~