Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I am not J.K. Rowling. I am Heather May Emma Moss and I DO own 2 basses, 3 guitars and over 100 My Chemical Romance posters.

Prolouge.

She was always the strong one, the rock. Slowly but surely this rock was crumbling.

Lily Evans was breaking.

~xoxo~

Her breathing increased, her surroundings spinning, colours blending into each other as the world around sped up as she herself seemed to slow down. Her body could no longer take it, knees buckling as she hit the ground, her fiery red splaying out around her as her eyelids flickered shut over her emerald eyes, eyelashes dusting against her impossibly pale cheeks. To Lily Evans, the world had stopped.

~xoxo~

"Evans! Evans! MERLIN, BE DAMNED! EVANS!"

A voice broke through her haze, the sound of someone shouting her name, a hint of desperation tingeing the sound, although the shaking of her shoulders was more the cause of her waking.

"Wh-what?" a croak slipping through her chapped lipped, her voice cracking in the middle. She was confused, pained and shocked. What was Potter doing shaking her awake? He can't even get in the girls dormitories, though she wouldn't put it past The Marauders to have found some way of sneaking in.

Then she realised, she wasn't in her bed, in her dormitory as she first thought, she was lying in the middle of the quidditch pitch, 7 pairs of eyes staring at her. She felt heat rise up her neck and onto her cheeks, as she blushed at the gazes of the Gryffindor quidditch team.

"Potter, what's going on?" she asked trying to sound trying to make her words come out stern but instead they just came out sounding weak and as if she was exhausted, which, quite frankly, she was.

He looked down at her, Lily could have sworn she saw concern flash in his hazel eyes but she was probably delusional having only just woken up and such.

I mean, who'd care about me?

"Don't know, Evans. We found you like this, are you alright?" Again, the concern, but this time she heard it in the tone of his voice.

Stop it Lily, you know nobody gives a flobberworm about you!

"Oh, uhm, yes, 'course." Lily looked down, twiddling the blades of grass between her fingers, biting her lip as she blushed.

"Err, not to be rude or anything Evans but, uhm, we sort of need to practice." She looked up to see him rubbing the back of his neck and smiling sheepishly at her as he said it, an apologetic look in his eyes.

"Oh... yeah sure." She got up as quickly as possible and scampered away from the scene hiding behind a curtain of thick red hair, cursing herself for embarrassing herself. Again.

It's not like you don't embarrass yourself enough.

Too busy berating herself for being so stupid in public, she didn't even think about how she ended up out on the quidditch pitch. And yet that was truly the question wasn't it.

What was Lily Evans doing, passed out, on the quidditch pitch during the day?

Lily knew why, she just wasn't quite ready to admit it yet.

~xoxo~

As shocking as it may be, Lily Evans has always had problems with her self-esteem. Always having the voice inside her head that constantly told herself how hopeless she truly was. Even as a child, when all the other girls would have ponytails and Lily had pigtails. She told herself it was because she was a horrendous excuse for a girl and locked herself in the Year 2 toilets all break, pulling all her out of the pigtail.

This greatly increased when she reached the age of 11, when the letter from Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry arrived.

"I don't – want – to – go! You think I want to go to some stupid castle and learn to be a-a... you think I want to be a – a freak?" Petunia spluttered over the sentence, spitting out the word freak.

"I'm not a freak. That's a horrible thing to say!" Lily exclaimed, her eyes showing her hurt at her sister's comment.

"That's where you're going; a special school for freaks. You and that Snape boy... weirdoes, that's what you two are. It's good you're being separated from normal people. It's for our safety." Petunia spoke the words in the most horrible tone of voice, holding her head high, turning away with a 'humph' and storming out the room. That left Lily stood there, alone, with tears streaming down her face.

The worst her self-esteem had ever gotten, the lowest she ever felt was last Summer when Severus Snape, her best friend, had uttered that disgusting word and continued to degrade her.

Things have just gone downhill from there. Fast.

~xoxo~