A/N: Written for the Writing Scripts Boot Camp, for prompt#047: jester.
And apparently James' age isn't revealed, so he'll be 13 and a third year for this.
Famous for your Father
Letter 1 – Harry to Albus 1
Dear Al,
Hey son. How's everything going? We promised we'd write to you ever day, didn't we? Unless you decide it's too embarrassing like your brother did…but he likes a good joke, your brother. Must have inherited it from your grandfather (my father) or else your Uncles Fred and George. But under no circumstances listen to his instructions on how to get to the dungeons for Potions, because you'll be half an hour late. Granted whoever you've got this year for Potions (seeing as Professor Slughorn retired last year) probably isn't as strict as Professor Snape or Headmistress McGonagall, but it's better to be on the safe side. Ask your Head of House or a Prefect; some of the second years like pulling pranks on the new students as well, but they're not as bad as they come across in the first few days.
Your Uncle Ron put up some gallons for getting into Gryffindor, so your mother has kindly asked me to tell you that if she loses the bet, you will be paying for it out of your allowance (though I'm sure she's joking). You know how those two are, especially since your Aunt Hermione's left for Bulgaria almost as soon as we dropped you lot off at the station. Which means Hugo is staying with us for about a week, and he insists of writing to you as well. I've enclosed his letter. I'm sure Lily and your mother would as well, but your sister was a little…inconsolable after not being able to go to Hogwarts, so they're out at the moment for some mother-son bonding time. No doubt they'll be writing tomorrow – if we can stop Lily from starting as soon as she walks through the door.
And your Uncle Ron is staying for dinner too. He never did learn to cook, unlike your mother and myself…and Aunt Hermione. I never told you that story did I?
…maybe I shouldn't tell you just yet. If she ever caught wind of it… She was mad enough when she found out about…err, never mind. Shouldn't be telling you that one right now either. Suffice to say that Ron's hopeless without Hermione around.
Anyway, how did you find Hogwarts? The train ride treat you okay? I'm sure you and Rose were stuck to each other for the train ride, but tell me you made at least one other friend. And tell me that young Scorpius Malfoy is nothing like the git his father was at that age (I'm sure I or Uncle Ron've told you guys those stories). And don't tell your mother I said that either. I would rather not be sleeping on the couch.
Tell me you tasted at least one of everything they had on the snack trolley. Unless the prices went up since James started, there should have been enough in your coat pocket. Funny how they hadn't changed from when I first started, though in your case you've tasted most of them before. And those Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans? If James scared you off them, kindly give him the following message from Uncle Ron: 'I'm sending him all the bogey flavoured ones I get for Christmas'.
He's probably serious too, considering the amount of boxes he gets.
And how was your first view of Hogwarts? Please oh Merlin please tell me the giant squid didn't dunk you in the water at the absolute wrong moment (actually, I think I would prefer it if he didn't dunk you at all; it might have been funny for Dennis but as a parent it's a nerve-wracking thought). It's something you absolutely cannot miss, and even your elder brother hasn't managed to find a way around that fact yet. I doubt he ever will; Hogwarts is just that sort of place, especially when you first see it.
And do they still serve treacle tart for dessert? Though I wonder if you had any space left for it. I know I always used to struggle, but that's one thing you don't seem to have inherited from me. I think your mother's secretly thrilled about that, since you didn't manage to get her hair, eyes or facial features. Or her eyesight for that matter. Have you been practising Reparo? A very important one to know. And if you decide to go onto the Quidditch Team next year, we've got a few more spells for you. Well, your mother mostly since she's more in the thick of things nowadays than I am. That's a long way away, but you'll have your first flying lesson next week on the school brooms (which are nothing like your mother's old brooms), and you might wind up with a different definition of flying. And don't let anyone tell you that the son of Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley has to be an ace flyer. That's a load of…err, Hagrid's favourite term there was Hogswash. And remember he invited you and your brother and cousin for tea on Friday. Be sure to say hi to Fang's litter while you're there. I'm afraid I've forgotten their names again.
And don't do anything Neville tells you not to do; he was the best at Herbology in our year and it's probably just your brother trying to pull pranks on you. It's not that the plants in Greenhouse 1 are dangerous, but you don't want to miss some other exciting class because you were asleep after hearing the Mandrake's cry.
And please please tell me you didn't inherit my "talent" for Potions. Me passing my OWLS was mostly your Aunt Hermione and luck…though I thought elsewise for quite a while. When you almost flunk your Auror Potions exam after studying for three months, things start to get into a bit of a better perspective.
...Ron's just arrived, and he's telling me I sound like a worried parent. Well, I'm telling him: 'excuse me if it's the first time in thirteen years I've arrived home and my kids aren't around to hug me.' But I'm not particularly worried; James has his heart in the right place and he'll look out for you, and so will Teddy and Rose (and you look out for her too, and if she starts sprouting stuff about cooties – though I seriously doubt she will – just remind her that her parents and yours used to toss the lot of you into the same gigantic wash tub when you were babies).
Try to stay out of trouble and enjoy Hogwarts. It really is a great place, even though it has a tendency to get its students into scrapes at times. Beware of the changing staircases and some of the portraits along the route to the Divination classroom and the Astronomy Towers. They like getting students lost. Though it's not the end of the world if you do get lost. Headmistress McGonagall will probably tell you that she'll transfigure any friend of yours into a map for you…or your old Dad, considering Ron and I were late for our first Transfiguration class.
Let us know how your first night at Hogwarts turned out, and I hope that you're settling nicely into whatever House you got sorted into. Remember that the qualities of that house aren't the be all and end all; the Hat just sorts you in the place it thinks you'll do the best in, and it's a good listener if you have a 'bee in your bonnet', as it told me once. Just drop by the Headmistress' office if you think you'd like to chat with it…and say hi to your namesakes while you're there too. And for Merlin's sake don't forget to add the 'Professor' to Snape's name, for all the times your Dad didn't.
All the best, and Ron's sending his love (not in those words naturally) as well.
Love,
Your Dad.