A/N Yes, there NEEDS to be a musical version of the Titanic out there. There are a lot of good musicals AND operas about boats, like the HMS Pinafore for example. Well, enjoy yourself, and prepare for a tasty treat of the RMS Titanic: The Musical!
Intro
A long line of officers, the captain, and stewards line up in front of the RMS Titanic... which is a very large ship.
Chorus:
Here's the ship
That roams the ocean blue
And cannot stop its sailing
With wealthy snobs and its poor bums
Oh look the girls are wailing!
With a captain who is working here
And is taking his men home!"
Officer Murdoch comes skipping about in the air and does a somersault before singing gayly in a big vibratto.
Officer Murdoch:
I am the officer
Who kills himself
But that is much, much later
But listen up
I got something here
It's the DeWitt Bukaters!
Saxophones play as Rose and Ruth DeWitt Bukater enter the stage off the car. The saxophones fade, and they both get into a little dance number, with Caledon Hockley catching Rose and attempting to kiss her cheek. He leans in, but he gets a slap in the face by Rose, who walks away with her mother. Cal stands there looking confused, and then rushes on after them.
Chorus:
With the british tars
From Liverpool
We have no one to fool
For our stewards
And our sailors here
You have nothing to fear
Captain Smith spoken
This is surely an unsinkable ship!
Cal Hockley spoken
Not even God himself can sink this ship!
Chorus:
No not this boat
It will stay afloat
And it will part
At sea right now
America, the beautiful
Here we come!
So long, scum!
You'll see what the headlines will...
Becoooooome!
The stewards run off to the ship, and wave goodbye.
Back to America in Chains
Rose DeWitt Bukater exits her car, and begins to walk towards the ship.
Rose:
My name is Rose DeWitt Bukater
And I almost die much later
But for now I am a lass
Who has a Titanic pass
I just have lots of money
And for sure I do have a honey :Rose awkwardly puts her arm around Cal, who is by her side
But inside, not out, I am screaming
And I sure hope I am dreaming
Because my life is so boring
And my tears just can't stop pouring
My mother is a rat
Whose face is like a cat's
She is all about herself
And not meeeeee
I just cannot wait to be free
But I know that I'm to be
So empty inside
And to think I could ever
Have no pride
It hurts me so much
And I have had enough
So it's back to America in chains!
Wealthy Woman's Chorus:
Going back to America in cha-a-ains!
Rose: Yes, oh yes!
Wealthy Woman's Chorus:
Cha-a-ains!
Rose and Wealthy Woman's Chorus:
I'm/she's going back to America in chains
My Lucky Day!
Jack Dawson is playing poker with his buddies at the bar across from where the Titanic was about to disembark. He threw down his lucky hand, took the tickets, and then started singing.
Jack:
It's myyyyyy
Lucky day because I've won
The tickets of my dreams
It's my lucky day
And my eyes are 'bout to gleam
I cannot stop this anxiety
And in such piety
I cannot wait to go on the Titanic
Bar Chorus:
Yes he's going to the Titanic
And there's no need to panic!
With all his luck
He might find a girl
But hopefully she's pretty
Because an ugly one
Would make him hurl
And he's going to that ship
Fabrizio:
It's-a my LUCKY DAY
Because-a found
The ticket's-a Titanic
And my mother would be-a proud of me
And I don't-a need to panic
Fabrizio, Jack, and Bar Chorus:
It's his/our lucky daaaaaay!
Jack (while the Bar Chorus and Fabrizio hold the last notes):
Yes it's my lucky day
For sure I am lucky
Yes it's my lucky day
Yes it's my lucky DAAAAAY
The song ends with a big boom, and everyone leaves, with Jack and Fabrizio rushing outside to the ship, and getting on just in time.