Staring at the Sun

Summary: That was it—one night of sin. One night that forced Neji to offer his hand. Being married isn't simple; betrayals, affairs, shattered hearts–and finding love in the most unexpected of places. NejiHina Rated M

Disclaimer: Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

Character ages: 21-23 yrs.

—What It Takes

The blinding sunlight hit her like a sledgehammer. She groaned softly and stirred, freezing when her arm touched another body beside her. She whipped her head around, finding herself in the sleeping embrace of her own cousin. And she was naked.

The memory of last night flooded her mind along with the crippling hangover. Talking, drinking, making out and then…this. With rising horror, she remembered being blindly pushed onto the bed, being kissed with drunken fervor…and then sleeping with the man right beside her. Incidentally also her own cousin—who had a girlfriend already, though that was the least of her worries.

She stumbled out of bed, hurriedly grabbing the white sheets and wrapping it around her in an attempt to cover herself. Her clothes were thrown all around the room; she fought a wave of disgust as she remembered them being ripped off the night before. Clutching her hitai-ate and clothes in one hand, she pulled them on quickly, wanting to leave the room as quickly as possible.

The man on the bed stirred, raising one arm to cover his eyes from the sunlight streaming in from the open window. She froze, automatically putting her indigo hair in front of her eyes to make a barrier in between them. Through the cracks, she could see the horrible realization of what had transcended the night before returning to his blank white eyes. She tied her hitai-ate with cold, trembling hands, too shaken to bother with the man's shocked exclamations as she fled from the room.

Sincerely hoping that no one would see her, she sped down the walkways of the Hyuuga complex. It was not very early in the morning but it wasn't late enough that servants were already milling around. Tears swelled up in her eyes as her finger brushed a wooden post and the horrid memory of kissing and groping each other last night rose up. She turned a right into the main house's complex and opened the door with shaking hands. In the room, she finally let the tears fall.

"Oh god…" she put her mouth over her hands, remembering his hands grasping her hips, moving down to her thighs…her own wild exultation and actions…they all came back in one hard slam. It very nearly knocked the breath out of her when she heard a sharp knock on the door. His knock.

"Hinata? Hinata?" She tried to ignore the desperate whisper. He could easily unlock the door from the outside if he truly wanted to…

"Don't be silly, Hinata. Open the door!" Her eyes cracked open and she wiped the tears from them. She couldn't face him now…probably never again. No no no no she didn't want to see his face…not after feeling him kiss her…not after, after that.

"Hinata…open the door."

"N-no…I…I…" She burst into tears again. Finally she heard his heavy sigh and the light footfalls as he left. Everyone made mistakes. But not something like this. She just had sex with him all because they both drank too much and were too close to each other at the wrong time. She curled into a ball. The memories were hitting her hard, leaving no room to escape.

—

Slam.

She felt herself being thrown against the tree. Hot blood trickled down her chin slowly.

"Damn it, Hinata! Why didn't you dodge it?" She felt Kiba's rough, worried hand wiping the blood from her lips. She licked her dry and cracked mouth, tasting the metallic trail of blood that his attack had invoked from her. She had been sparring with her team, though she couldn't keep her mind anywhere near training at the moment.

"G-gomen, Kiba-kun…I was distracted." Propping a hand to support herself, she fought the wave of dizziness that threatened to engulf her. She wavered for a minute on unsteady knees. His arm was immediately there to support her.

"Are you alright, Hinata? You seem really out of it lately, maybe you should go see a doctor for those dizzy spells." His sharp black eyes made her want to flinch. They seemed to pierce straight into her. She shook her head and slowly pushed his arm away.

"I—I'm alright, Kiba-kun. It's nothing."

He didn't look like he believed her. Hinata noticed that Shino, who was standing three or four feet away, didn't seem to either. Their concerned expression filled her with shame. She didn't deserve their concern, not after what happened that night. She was already the weakest chink in their team, but somehow they always showed special care for her. Tears fill her eyes.

Then a sudden wave of nausea washed over her, making her collapse and almost regurgitate her breakfast all over them. This time they both caught her, gently letting her lean on the tree.

"I'm serious, Hinata, you've got to see a doctor soon. I'm really worried about this." Akamaru whimpered, as if to agree with Kiba.

"I agree with Kiba, Hinata." Hinata could see the faint outline of worried eyes behind Shino's black sunglasses. "You need a doctor."

"N-no," she cupped her hand around her mouth, fighting the urge to throw up. "No…I c-can't…"

"We can't train like this, for kami's sake, just go to the doctor. It's not going to kill you!" Kiba looked like he was chewing his lip to bits. Akamaru licked Hinata's chin, rubbing his head against her shoulder softly, prodding her. Shino nodded, adjusting his glasses.

"We can all see something is wrong, Hinata."

"Did something happen? You've been like this for weeks! Now you've gotten all dizzy and nauseous. We're your teammates, your friends! You can tell us anything! Just please, Hinata, don't hold it all in."

Her throat tightened at the desperation in Kiba's slanted black eyes. There was no way that she could tell them. Only two things could happen. They would shun her or they would blame it all on Neji, claiming that he raped her. Hinata knew that they would definitely lean toward the latter than the former. But either way they would never look at her the same again, they would probably think in a corner of their heart that she was a slut. Hinata couldn't bear for that to happen.

"I'm fine…K-kiba-kun, really. Don't worry anymore, guys…" She forced a weak, unconvincing smile onto her pale face.

"Alright. We'll stop bothering you, but that's it for training until you get better."

"Arigatou, K-kiba-kun, Sh-shino-kun." She jumped to her feet, realizing a second later that she'd gotten up too fast. Everything swirled around her and she moaned as an intense wave of dizziness overtook her. Kiba's face turned to sheer desperation as her eyes closed and she keeled over unconscious in his arms.

—

"I cannot tell you this," the first thing that Hinata heard was Sakura's clear voice. It continued on with a note of anger. "This is private information between the patient and their doctor. I can't tell you!"

"For kami's sake, we're teammates – her friends! We want to know what the hell is wrong with her. She's not just a patient; she's like my little sister! Tell me what the hell is—"

"Shut the fuckup, Kiba. You think I don't care about her either? I may not know her as well as you, but I sure as hell spent four years working alongside her as a medic. As for this matter, she is my patient, and I am her doctor. If she feels that close with you, she can tell you later. I can't control that." Sakura jabbed a finger at Kiba's black leather jacket. "Now get out of this room and occupy yourself with something else. If you listen in, I swear I will punch you into the next life."

"Fine. You better not take long." There was no support behind the empty threat and Hinata soon heard the loud footsteps of her teammates leaving. She heard Sakura sigh and close the door behind them.

"S-sakura-san…" Hinata said weakly. Sakura jerked her head around and a smile of relief appeared on her flustered features.

"Oh, thank god you're alright." Sakura walked over and sat down on the chair. "You have no idea how scary that was—seeing Kiba rush in with you in his arms and smears of blood on your face. Everyone thought you were dead judging by the way he reacted. Were you training?"

"Hai…I—I fainted…Is Kiba-kun alright?"

Sakura shook her head slowly and laughed.

"I cannot believe that you're worried about him, of all people! You are the one who fainted," her luminous green eyes softened. "You have to learn to care about yourself, especially now, Hinata."

"B-but I fainted on him."

"You're not heavy enough to produce any damage, Hinata! In fact, you're actually slightly underweight for even a normal person! It's really very, very dangerous to be so skinny in your condition."

Hinata stiffened. What was Sakura talking about? Her condition?

"Wh-what are you talking about?"

"Hinata," Sakura grasped her hand, "Why didn't you tell us that you were pregnant?"

—

"And then that's all I can remember…" Hinata looked down at her hands. Finally Sakura let out a breath.

"Wow," she stroked Hinata's hand to calm the trembling. "That really is some secret; no wonder you've been acting so strange." Hinata nodded numbly, biting her lips.

"But you have to get past this," Sakura looked her at her firmly. "You can't just let this one mistake ruin your whole future. You can always come to me for help, Hinata. I really want to be your friend. There's so much I didn't know about you. Everyone makes mistakes."

"B-but not like this…" A tear rolled down Hinata's face.

"Do you want to have an abortion? You're only a few weeks in." Sakura looked at her apprehensively.

"N-no!" Hinata recoiled, horrified that she could possibly kill her own child. "I—I can't do that."

"Then what will you do? Be a single mom?" Sakura's voice was filled with worry. Hinata ran her fingers lightly over her still-flat belly.

"I'm not sure…" Hinata bit her lip, "Otou-san will be so angry with me…"

"I'm surprised that you kept the child so long, even with all the training that you've done. But I think that it took its toll. If you don't rest, then you'll faint again." Emerald green eyes scanned Hinata's face. "Is it possible for someone to marry you? Then your father…"

"No. I can't rush things like that…"

"Normally, I would've recommended the father of the child, but Neji is already with TenTen." Her gaze fixed on Hinata. "Are you going to tell him? You should, just to let him know."

"I won't tell him. I can't make life more difficult for him." The Hyuuga heiress' voice was soft. Sakura looked as if she wanted to protest, but she just sighed.

"I have to tell Tsunade-shishou," she continued quickly when a look of shock crossed Hinata's face. "Then she won't give you any missions since you want the baby. She won't tell, I promise."

"Hai…arigatou, Sakura." Hinata got up and steadied herself on the bedside cabinet.

"Are you going to tell Kiba and Shino? They're really very worried about you."

"…" Hinata didn't answer, since she was asking herself the very same question. Telling them would only make their lives messier, ruining everything. But they—Kiba, at least—would be furious if she didn't tell. And she owed them a complete explanation. Hinata nodded slowly and stepped outside.

"Hinata! You're okay!" Kiba engulfed her in a bone-crushing hug. "What happened over there? Was it my fault? Did I hit you too hard?—"

"No, no, Kiba-kun." Hinata gulped, "You m-might want to sit down and pr-promise not to get angry…"

"What? Do you have an illness? Are you going to—" Shino silenced Kiba with a deadly glare.

"Let Hinata talk."

"Arigatou, Shino-kun." Hinata took a deep breath. "I…I just found out today. I—I'm pregnant."

There was a pregnant pause—literally. Then it fully registered in Kiba's mind.

"What the fucking hell? How did you—what happened—who's the—" he sputtered on, finally forming one question. "Why didn't you tell us, Hinata?'

"I was afraid…afraid y-you wouldn't like me anymore…" Hinata started sobbing. She felt Shino press her into a hug and Kiba patted her head affectionately. Akamaru nuzzled her thigh, whimpering.

"Silly Hinata, how could we hate you because of that? We're nakama, friends for life. You can tell us anything. But one thing. Who's the father?"

She looked down again, stiffening, wondering if she should tell them. "I-it's…um," she rocked a bit on her heels. "uh…N-neji."

—

"What do you mean you're not going to tell him?" Kiba looked positively furious, "He's the reason for this whole fucking mess in the first place! And he's the father—he's got to take responsibility!"

"I—I can't make life any harder for him," Hinata countered faintly, "He has a girlfriend already…"

"So? He got you pregnant and that's all that counts. We've got to tell him."

"No, Kiba, please don't! I…I don't want to become a burden again." Hinata looked him straight in the eye. "Don't tell him, Kiba-kun. Promise me."

"I—I…" finally he relented with a defeated look in his eyes. "fine. But if anything happens to you, then I will definitely tell him."

She smiled in spite of their current predicament. That was the best promise that Kiba could hope to make. He grinned reassuringly and patted her head again.

"Don't worry, Hinata. We'll make sure that nothing happens, right Shino?"

"Correct."

"Arigatou, Kiba-kun, Shino-kun…what would I do without you?"

—

Hinata was getting ready for bed in her room when she heard a sharp knock. Her fingers started to tremble. She knew that knock, that insistent, sharp tapping sound of her cousin. What did he possible want in the middle of the night? The only reason that came to mind left her numb. It couldn't be that. They all promised not to tell.

"Hinata, it's me. Neji."

"Wh-what do you need?"

"I would appreciate it if you opened the door, Hinata."

"Oh…in a second." Hinata slipped on her pajama pants and T-shirt. Her straggly indigo hair was swept up in a ponytail. She slid the door open and smiled weakly.

"Can I come in?" He followed in after her, settling on the chair by her desk. She sat cross-legged on her bed.

"Have you thought about what we did?"

"Hai…" As much as Hinata didn't want to, she couldn't help but pull up dregs of that passion-filled night. Passion that was fueled by alcohol.

"I thought that you could trust me, Hinata." His tone was stern. "Did you really think I was so ignorant?"

"But—but...I...I—I do trust you, Neji-nii-san…" It wasn't your fault...

"Not as much as I hoped." He fixated his piercing stare on her. "I am not an idiot, Hinata. I know when something is wrong."

"W-wrong?" No, it couldn't be possible.

"You really think I didn't notice? Always dizzy in the morning, throwing up out of nowhere. And today, Kiba caused a literal uproar when he brought you to the hospital." His eyes were bitter, "That was when it all came together."

"Hinata," he took a deep breath. "If you are pregnant, I'll take the responsibility."

"Wh-what do you m-mean, Neji?" She stammered. Take the responsibility? Her mind was swirling and she felt light-headed all over again.

"What I mean is," he moved closer and touched her trembling cheek. "If you are pregnant, then I will take the responsibility as a father…and marry you."

Author's Note: I wrote this up a loooooong time ago, maybe last year or two years ago. But it was just grouped in with a bunch of other rejects I have floating around in my computer. I just dug it out and the idea really appealed to me again. With all my SasuHina fics still going, switching gears and writing NejiHina will certainly be fun. Maybe it because Neji is sort of like Sasuke except without the whole Sharingan, Itachi and betrayal mess. Neji has his own problems to deal with, which seem fun to write about. For this fic, I'm going to seriously power up the angst, so if you can't deal with that…er….sorry? Hehe. Please review!

moonhaku

p.s. I'm totally unsatisfied with the title, so that might change sometime during the fic. Please tell me any suggestions (it has to have the word "sun" or something to do with it in there) you might have!