'A…Space Cow?' Everyone looked at the thing that didn't look anything like a cow. Shepard stood by it, keeping his eyes firmly locked on the creature. He smiled a smile that a few crew members thought looked on the verge of being insane.

'Yes, a Space Cow.'

'A Space Cow.' Garrus smirked.

'Yes, Garrus, a Space Cow.'

'A Space…'

'Yes, okay, for the nineteenth time, people, a Space Cow.' Shepard said impatiently. Jacob sulked.

'It doesn't look anything like a cow.' Jack stated.

Shepard had to admit it didn't look like a cow. It was red, had a head like an aardvark. It also had two tiny hands as well as its four legs. Two devious little arms… Shepard almost leapt five feet in the air when he saw its eyes.

'I still don't see why you brought all of us down planetside just to see an animal.' Jacob said.

'Wahhh! Look, look!' Shepard screamed like a girl.

'Shepard, I don't see what is happening…' Tali said, looking at Shepard quivering behind Jack

'It's…eyes!'

All of the crew bent down to gaze into the red creature's eyes. They were moving from side to side.

'That's how you know it's shifty!' Shepard whispered into Jack's ear. Jack frowned and pushed Shepard away.

'So we came all the way here to see a shifty-looking cow?' Jacob sighed.

'Fine you turn your back and see what happens!' Shepard spat. Jacob smiled and turned around, facing everyone. Garrus smiled. He knew what was coming. Jacob was about to walk away when he jumped almost as high as Shepard did. He turned around.

'What happened!'

Jack was almost laughing. 'He took your credits.' Jacob turned around, his face twisted in an expression of disbelief.

'How the hell did it do that?' he choked. Everyone shrugged. Shepard was laughing.

'I told you!' he laughed. 'I told you it was shifty! Muhahahah!' Shepard continued to laugh maniacally Jacob turned on the creature, his gun drawn.

In that moment, Shepard looked into the Space Cow's eyes. Was it…crying?

'Nooooo!' Shepard screamed, diving in a suitably dramatic fashion in front of the cow.

'Let me kill the thing!' Jacob shouted. 'It took my credits!'

Shepard held the Cow in his arms, stroking its head. The Cow didn't look impressed.

'We can't kill it…it's special…'

'What is he doing?'

'Shepard, don't coo at it.'

'Not a baby, Shepard.'

'QUITE EVERYONE! THE MASTERFUL COMMANDER HAS SPOKEN!' Shepard shouted. He brought the Cow down from over the top of his head.

'We shall keep him…'

'You already have Goldfish.' Jack chipped in. Shepard took his tongue out at him.

'We are keeping him.' And with that, he bundled the cow under his arm and walked up to the ship.

'I shall call you…Mr. Cow.'

Seemingly everyone rolled his or her eyes at the same time.

'And you'll be mine Mr. Cow. We'll dance ands sing and play cards. You can replace Tali. She cheats anyway.'