"They're going to have a field day with this," Rick Castle pronounces as soon as the elevator doors close.
Beckett looks at him. "Who, the press?"
"Well, maybe them too, but I was thinking of the fan-fic writers."
She glances around the elevator. "I'm guessing the cameras have stopped?"
"Yeah. You can tell by the change in lighting and the fact that I'm talking about things occurring outside our universe."
"There was a change in lighting?"
"No, not really." She glares. "It's a gut thing! You just kinda get used to it."
Beckett crosses her arms. "All right, fine. Why are 'they' going to have a field day?"
"Because! You, me, walking into an elevator- I'm betting at least three stories where I kiss you right away-"
"Ew!"
"Don't blame me! I am but a tool in the hands of my writers!"
She sighs. "Just that?"
"Heck, no. Going on our first date-"
"It's not a date, Castle."
"If you insist." He winks at her.
"Don't make me shoot you," she grumbles.
"Not my fault! The panda made me do it!"
Kate blinks. "What?"
"The panda. Maira the Panda. The German panda."
"There are no pandas in Germany, Castle."
"No, no, no, she's the author."
"The author?"
"Yeah, the one putting our words out there!"
She pauses. "So she's making us say this stuff?"
"I think she thinks this is what we would be saying if we could be saying this, so she's writing in the idea that we know who she is and what she's doing and would think- if we could think-"
"Enough!"
"Yeah, it's kinda 'If a woodchuck could chuck wood', isn't it?"
"Don't sound so happy." Beckett leans against the elevator wall.
"Want a smoke?"
She looks at him. "You don't smoke."
"I don't smoke, no."
"I don't smoke."
"That's true." He's looking sheepish by now.
"So why did you ask?"
"It sounded detective-y at the time."
"Until it came out of your mouth?"
"Until it came out of my mouth, yeah."