Author: Nadz
Email: vegitto02 at yahoo dot com

Disclaimer:
I own nothing.

The Way It Really Ended

This fiction starts off right before the final battle of Blade and Saber. Blade hasn't arrived yet, however, and Sword is on the Orbital Ring waiting with Saber.

Chapter 1 – Carousal

"So, when is that traitor going to show up?" Sword asked, getting impatient. "He's an hour late."

"Yeah, this is getting boring," Saber replied, putting another coat of Turtle Wax on his armor.

"That shitty Omega," Sword sighed. "Making us wait here for Blade."

"Hey, I got an idea," Saber said, pulling out a bottle labeled 'Vodka'. "Let's have a couple while we're waiting around."

"I don't really know about that, Shinya."

"You got anything better to do?" he replied.

"I guess not," she replied, and both of them de-transformed into human form. Saber passed her a glass and poured her a shot. Putting some liquor into his own, he looked into her eyes.

"I challenge you," Shinya smirked.

"You're on," Hun Rii shot back, and both downed their shots. Several seconds passed.

"WOAH!" Hun Rii blurted, starting to feel dizzy as she felt it burn down her throat. "Gimme more!"

"YEA!" Shinya said, pouring her and himself another shot. "I… umm… cha… uh… challenge you again…"

Without even responding, Hun Rii downed the second shot. So did Shinya.

"WOO-HOO!" Hun Rii sang, feeling the world go dizzy. "WOO-HOO… I LOVEZZ… hiccup … DIS SCHTUFFZ… BUTZZZ DISH ONLY MY SSSSEC…C…C…OND SSSHOT…"

"WOAH, YEAH!" Shinya howled, imagining yellow circles of light floating above his head. Listening to what Hun Rii said, he responded twenty seconds later. "OOOHHH YEAAHHH, I FORGOTZZZZ TO TELL YOUUUU… hiccup… DISHHH HERE AIN'T VODKA…"

"I feel likesssshhh a bird!!" Hun Rii chuckled wildly, feeling way too dizzy now. She collapsed to the floor and looked up, laughing like a hyena. "I'M FLYING hiccup WOOOOO-HOOOOO!!"

"Disshhh here ain't no vodkassshhhhh…" Shinya said, crashing on the ground next to Hun Rii. "Disshhh here issshhh called Everclear-shhhhh."

Shinya was speaking the truth, for the bottle was indeed filled with Everclear. The late Axe, who had been an avid drinker, had one day finished off the bottle of Vodka. When he went back on Earth, he stole a bottle of Everclear. Yet, Omega forbid his Tekkamen to drink Everclear, and Axe instead poured the Everclear liquor into his empty Vodka bottle. The only other Tekkaman who knew about Axe's little trick was Shinya, who had been standing nearby arguing with a cop about a ticket he got for illegally parking that little purple alien valkyrie.

"OOOHHH SSSHHIITTT," Shinya howled, feeling as if he was going backwards on a high speed roller-coaster. "HOWSSHH AM I GONNAAA FIGHTSSHHH BLADE??"

"WOOOO-HOOOO!" Hun Rii yelled before passing out.

An hour later:

"Come out, Saber!" Blade growled, stepping into the Orbital Ring. "I'm here to finish this!"

"Ohhhh… hey Blaaaaaaadeeeeeee," Shinya said groggily, continuing to lie on the ground with the liquor bottle in his hand. Blade looked quizzically at his evil twin, wondering what the heck was going on.

"Uh, Saber?" Blade asked. "You feeling okay?"

"Man… disshhh wasssshhh ssssshooooo muccchhhh fun-ssshh!" Shinya sang, holding up the bottle of Vodka/Everclear. "You gotta try sssssshhhhome maaaannnnn…. HEE HEE HEE HEE!!"

"Um," Blade replied, a large sweatdrop appearing on his head.

Eight hours later:

"Oh, man, I feel like elephant crap," Shinya muttered, yawning. "Damn, my head hurts like hell."

"Yeah, mine too," Hun Rii moaned, waking up as well. "Oh, hi Takaya… um, Takaya?"

"Hey, wake up, man," Shinya said, painfully crawling over to his sleeping brother, in human form. He looked down at Takaya's hand, holding the bottle of Vodka/Everclear, and he shook Takaya awake.

"Aki, goddamnit, I'm trying to sleep," Takaya muttered incomprehensibly. "You go change the #! baby's diaper this time."

"Eh?" asked Hun Rii, crawling to Takaya's side. Putting her mouth next to his ear, she screamed, "TAKAYA!"

"AAAHHH!!" Takaya yelled, snapping his eyes open and jerking his head sharply upwards straight into Hun Rii's nose. Hun Rii cried in pain. "Man, I have a headache!"

"Yeah, we have to get over our hangovers fast," Shinya said. "So we can go kill Omega."

"Huh?" Takaya asked quizzically. "I thought you…"

"What?" Shinya asked innocently, blinking. "Let's wait for a few hours, get over our hangovers, and then go kill Omega."

"Yeah!" Hun Rii yelled, raising her fist.

Five hours later:

"NOOOOOOOOOO…" Omega moaned, but then his moaning stopped because he died.

"Hooray!" Takaya and Shinya yelled in unison.

Half an hour later:

"So, how did Shinya and Hun Rii defect to our side, commander?" Takaya asked.

"I think it was the Everclear that did it," Jamison responded, rubbing his chain as he tried to explain. "Everclear has an extremely high alcohol concentration; even a small number of shots is enough to get somebody hammered. Shinya and Hun Rii must have had a high blood alcohol concentration after their little escapade, and I think that the mind parasites leeching off their minds also absorbed a good share of the alcohol. Since the critters' body weights are extremely low in comparison to that of Shinya and Hun Rii, the little bugs were fried from ingesting too much alcohol. And since they died, Shinya and Hun Rii are free. Omega is dead, and the Earth has been saved."

"So, what do you want to do now?" Shinya asked. "I'm getting bored listening to this shitty old man talk on an on…"

"Hey, you're so cute when you insult people," Jamison said, winking and smiling suggestively at Shinya, who slowly backed away. "Oh, by the way, where is Aki?"

Shinya and Hun Rii remained silent, scratching their heads.

"Oh no!" Takaya yelled. "We left her up on the Space Ring!"

TO BE CONTINUED... actually, not really.