Harry Potter and the Saviour of the Universe
Part One of Two
It's a bright shiny day at Hogwarts school for Witchcraft and Wizardry, thousands of people have gathered and crowded themselves on the grounds. All of them coming together and celebrating. The school is about to reopen today, after being closed for the last year due to the death of Albus Dumbledore and the worsening security situation
But, with the death of Voldemort and his Death Eaters at the hands of a mere teenage boy, Peace has returned, and not just peace within the Wizarding world, but with the Muggles also! The war exposed the magical world, and the Muggles were confused. Then the Saviour extended a hand of friendship to them, they looked upon him in awe and accepted.
Thus, a New Alliance of the World was formed. Bringing together all the different species together, under one banner, to eradicate all problems, plaguing the world after the war against Voldemort.
An election was also commissioned, anybody could vote for whoever they wanted to be president. The last months after the death of the Dark Lord have been hectic. Among the first things on the agenda was the reopening of Hogwarts.
A huge spectacle was planned. Thousands of different leaders, parents, media and members of the other magical schools arriving for the grand reopening but mainly to see the boy who was responsible for this all.
The immense crowd awaits with bated breath, an 120 piece orchestra stands by, different "Welcome back" rites are rehearsed by the Hogwarts, Durmstrang, Bueaxbatons and other students. The crowd gets restless...
The Crowd: Where is our teenage hero!
Somebody: Look up in the sky! It's a bird!
Somebody Else: It's a plane!
RBGK: No! It's a flying Hogwarts carriage!
The carriage slowly descends from the clouds, the people scream in joy. The carriage lurches and falls towards the grounds with rapid speed, the people scream in terror. Just feet from the ground, it levels off and moves up again, leaving reddish smoke in it's wake.
It moves through the air, doing spits and turns, once it finishes and slowly starts to descend the crowd read the smoky message "Long live the Alliance! Greetings form the Saviour" and burst into applause. The carriage lands on the ground and the excitement reaches fever pitch. Everybody waits breathlessly for the door to open and him to come out.
You'd think that it would be me wouldn't you?
Who am I? Well, if somebody told you that I was just an ordinary guy without a care in the world, somebody lied. Somebody lied big time! Who is this creep feeding you false information? Get rid of him now!
Ah hem, so I assume you know who I am and in case you don't I shall give you hints, ...I'm the boy who lived... the Chosen One... Hogwarts Quidditch Captain... Youngest Seeker in a hundred years... best Seeker in a hundred years ... Oh, and I'm very modest.
Snitch Readers: Er... Anakin Skywalker! No wait... Ginny Weasly... No...
I'M HARRY POTTER!
Snitch Readers: Oh.
Now that we got that out of the way, you must be wondering what all this commotion is about. Personally, I don't care. I much rather be anywhere else at this moment. But I am compelled to be here because if I don't see this farce for myself then my imagination will takeover and make this out to be ten times worse!
Why all this commotion? Well, let me tell you. Voldemort's dead, Hogwarts is about to reopen, the magical community has reached out and openly contacted the outside world for a grand alliance, SEE? Things are horrible!
Why are they horrible you ask? Well I'll tell you! The person who is taking all the credit for this... the person who the entire world has lauded for bringing peace and ending war everywhere is sitting in that carriage over there!
I'M THE ONE WHO DESTROYED THE HORCRUXES! I'M THE ONE WHO TRACKED THEM DOWN ME ME ME ME ME... (yeah, and that Mr. Freckles and Mrs. Know-it-all helped... I suppose)
So who is taking the credit for my supreme efforts? Here he is now... I can't watch...
The carriage door opens, the crowd goes wild. "HE'S HERE! HE'S HERE!" The Quidditch players form "You Are The Greatest." in mid air. The girls squeal feverishly.
Mrs. Weasley: AAIIIEEEEEE!
Fred and George: Mom?
The teenage boy walks away from the carriage in his marvellously elegant and spiffy suit. Sporting a to-die-for leather shoes and wearing a magnificently crafted hat, protecting his rugged but delicate features from the scorching sun above. The fashion experts from London, Paris and Milan stare at him in awe. The crowd goes wilder, the people start screaming "You the Man!", "Hail our Hero! Our champion!", " Marry me, you big wonderful thing!"
Big Wonderful Thing: (Strikes a pose) The names Malfoy, .. Draco Malfoy.
The girls swoon in delight, some faint.
Fred: Mom, wake up!
George: Come on, lets get her out of here!
I know you're thinking. Draco Malfoy? How can this be! What happened? What the hell happened! Draco killed Voldemort? Draco killed the death eaters? Draco single-handedly brought world peace to Magic and Muggle people alike? How?
All excellent questions. And I know the answers. But the trouble is, nobody will listen to me, watch.
Harry: (Shouting aloud) It's a fraud! It's a fraud! It's a fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud! I was there when Voldemort and the Death Eaters died. I saw what happened. And Draco is lying! LYING!
Hagrid: 'Course he is Arry. Go along now, play with yer broom. (wearing a giant hat of Draco)
See! They just won't listen to reason. Their so many things strange about all of this. Like how when Snape came back, and claiming that he was Dumbledore's side all along, With his "I-was-on-Dumbledores's-side-all-along-which-is-why-I-raised-my-wand-pointed-it-at-his-heart-and-said-Avada Kedavra" alibi.
Guess what? EVERYBODY frickin' believed that! especially after the wondrous Draco vouched for him!
Then there's McGonagall and her strange disappearance, leaving a note saying she is going to fulfil her lifelong ambition to study penguins in the north pole. Guess who gets her job after that... why old wonderful SNAPE of course! Who is now the Headmaster of our school!
Studying penguins? Who's dumb enough to believe that? Is anybody dumb enough to believe that?
Ron: I wonder how McGonagall's doing with the penguins?
Oh, and If you're wondering about Mr. Freckles, he abandoned me and went running after Draco to become his flunky. That no-good traitorous glory-chaser!
Hermione? Well Draco er... called for an end to the slavery of the Elfs which led to their immediate freedom and this development
Hermione: (Talking to the Elfs after their freedom) You're free! Free! To do what ever you wish!
Dobby: Yes, we are free! Thank you Lord Malfoy!
Kreacher: (Sobbing) Malfoy's such a good boy!
Winky: And don't forget Hermione! She fought for us when no one did!
Kreacher: Yes, we must thank her!
Hermione: Now really, there's no need for that. It was a pleasure.
Dobby: I know! We'll make her a Queen to order us around 24x7!
Hermione: What! No!
Kreacher: Kreacher seconds the motion!
Winky: So do I! Well Queen Hermione, what do you wish for us to do?
Hermione: I am not your queen!
Kreacher: Is the Queen not fulfilling her obligations?
Hermione: Oh for, I'm getting out of here.
Winky: GRAB HER!
Elfs: (Grab and kidnap Hermione)
Hermione: No! No! Noooooooo...
So Hermione was taken away to parts unknown, where she is now being forced to command thousands of Elfs at her beck and call. Poor Hermione.
Speaking of poor, I have just joined the ranks of those in poverty because the bank apparently "Lost" all my gold! This is my exchange with the bank...
Harry: You lost my what!
Gringotts: All your worldly possessions in our care.
Harry: Well, I demand compensation!
Gringotts: Oh, shoot. Do you have Insurance?
Harry: I don't need Insurance to recover the Gold that YOU lost!
Gringotts: According to our new rules, you need to be insured in order to avail our "Recovery" plan.
Harry: Rules? What new rules?
Gringotts: The ones we instituted five minutes before you entered.
Harry: This is crazy! And Illegal! I'll get the best lawyer money can buy and sue you!
Gringotts: You certainly can, but...
Harry: But what?
Gringotts: You don't have any money... heh heh.
Harry: Then I'll go to Magical Law Enforcement.
Gringotts: You do that, it'll be interesting to see their reaction especially after our rather generous donation to their "Magical Law Enforcement ball"
Harry: So I'm just broke! And can't do anything about it!
Gringotts: Well, there is one thing...
Harry: What?
Gringotts: You may apply for a loan! 100 interest per day for the first week and 200 the following...
Harry: You... you... bad person! (Storms out)
Gringotts: Come back again to Gringotts! Where we treat your money like it's ours.
Is it a coincidence that through his influence, Draco got his father out of Azkaban and into a cushy job as Head of Gringotts bank, Just the day before? I think not!
So things got so bad that I was forced to put up Grimmauld Place for sale. Which was the day that the Alliance came in and had it declared a "International Monument" due to it's role as the Headquarters of the Anti-Voldemort movement. Which basically meant that I couldn't sell or do anything with it!
I was staying with the Weasleys and I got desperate so I accepted a job opening with Fred and George to be on their "Testing committee" which in other words meant that I was their Guinea Pig. I was also made to bow and swear an oath to the "Goddess of Mischief" to make my job official.
Plus, have you heard their advertising jingle? Terrible sound!
I arrived on my first day after preparing my will. They set me in a chair and began testing all sorts of horrible torture devices on me and having far too much fun while at it.
I managed to live, and make it to my bed that day all in one piece except for one golden ring that stuck to my finger and won't come off... My Precious... My Precious... Ahem, where was I?
So I managed to make enough gold to get supplies for one last year at Hogwarts, after which I will apply for Auror training.
And, if you're still wondering about Draco all I'm going to say is DON'T! In the past few months he's been everywhere, meeting all sorts of people and species and every single one of them sing praises about him!
He appeared on Satellite TV and spoke to the entire world where he made an impassioned appeal to end all suffering and join together. The next day, as his message filtered down to every human being, the world entered some sort of strange utopia.
Murders everywhere had dropped down to near-zero, Wars that had been raging for decades were called off, Females were finally given equal rights in all corners of the globe, this and a hundred other things.
That's only counting Humans, Draco also campaigned hard with all kinds of species and after two months the New Alliance of the World was born, incorporating everybody into a representative, democratic world government.
See! He's Evil!
I mean, can anybody do all that and not be evil? I mean look at him! Is that not a face of some wannabe Antichrist!
Draco gently works the crowd, smiling a dazzling smile, walking a confidant walk, while speaking to as many of his admirers as possible. Suddenly a woman stumbles in his way
Woman: Oh wondrous Draco!
Draco: Oh, come now. None of that
Woman: Yes, O most gracious one
Draco: (Sighs) What can I do for you?
Woman: Master, I am blind and no amount of magics can heal me, please help me!
Draco: Very well (Places hands on her forehead)
Woman: It's a miracle! I CAN SEE!
Draco: Go in peace
Crowd: Hurrah for Draco Malfoy!
?... Eh, well I er...
Rita Skeeter: Make way for the presses! Move! Move! Ah, Draco dear... a few questions?
Draco: Of course.
Rita Skeeter: Have you heard the results of the election?
Draco: No, but I have complete faith in whoever is chosen by the people.
He has faith, hah! He's probably got a secret plan to overthrow the new president and take over the world himself! But if he tries anything, I'll stop him. I'll watch him like a hawk, no way is he getting any real power.
Rita Skeeter: Draco, you won! The people chose you!
Draco: What!
What!
Rita Skeeter: You won! You're leader of the world!
Draco: Well, I'm shocked. I wasn't even running.
He wasn't even running!
Rita Skeeter: So what are you going to do now?
Draco: Well, the people have chosen me. Who am I to deny their wishes? I accept.
Crowd: He accepts! All hail our leader!
The crowd goes berserk, Draco is lifted up into the air and carried inside Hogwarts like a king all the while the crowd singing his praises and the thousands that have gathered, slowly fill into Hogwarts and into the magically enlarged Great Hall. Harry is left behind, on his knees and banging his hand on the ground.
NO! NO! NO! NO! Ow! My hand is bleeding
Ginny: (Appears) Harry, your hand.
Harry: It's Draco's fault! See what he did! Look at my poor hand. I'll get him for this
Ginny: Er, weren't you the one banging your hand on the rocky ground?
Harry: Darn it, Ginny! Don't rationalize this with facts!
Ginny: Sheesh, Harry just come inside. Have some dinner.
Harry: I'm not going inside there now! I'll ... I'll ... stand out here for the rest of my life!
Ginny: You're being silly
Harry: You're right, ... for the rest of the term then!
Ginny: Fine, be that way. I'm going in.
Harry: And I'm not, (Crosses arms) Nobody's going to make me move.
In one second, darkness falls on the land. Dark clouds appear out of nowhere and in another second a raging storm hits Hogwarts.
Extremely Wet Harry: Not one inch.
Lightning strikes feet from where Harry is standing, another second later and he is running wildly towards the Entrance Hall.
Harry stands in Entrance Hall for a few minutes, dripping. He heads towards the Grand Staircase while willing himself not to hear the Draco worship in progress. He takes a few steps forward when somebody shouts...
Somebody: Harry Potter!
Harry: Wha? What now!
Filch: You! Dripping water on my floors! This calls for some punishment.
Harry: Are you kidding me! What about all those people who dragged dirt in from outside?
Filch: You want me to give THOUSANDS of people detention? You on the other hand are just one. Report to the kitchens later, you have Kitchen duties! No magic.
Harry: Kitchen duties? Meaning cleaning dishes! Don't we have someone to do that?
Filch: No, the Elfs are gone. So you're now their replacement for the next... Three? ...no Four? ... Nine months!
Harry: Nine! You can't do this!
Filch: I'm sure Headmaster Snape will agree that this is 'appropriate' (Walks away laughing evilly)
As Harry watched Filch walk away who started a dance to go along with his maniacal laugh, a throbbing started in his head. Things were going too far. He turned towards the Great Hall, he had to eat something. Once inside, he saw that there were no seats left. He walked up the hall and cast his eyes at the end where he saw Draco sitting on Dumbledore's chair! With Snape at his right side. A slight knot rose up in his throat.
Dumbledore, If only you were here. You'd see through the lies, you would have stopped this. And that unworthy b wouldn't be sitting in your chair.
Then, as if in answer to his prayers. He felt a powerful glow on his back which greatly warmed him. He chuckled to himself, now he was mad. Just perfect. But the people in front of him were staring at something in absolute shock. Harry watched Draco who had a look of total fear on his face. Snape was much much worse.
Harry turned around and there he was, just past the doors. A golden glow emanating from him. His feet just above the ground, gliding forwards. A smile on his face showing how thoroughly he was enjoying this. Albus Dumbledore had just returned to Hogwarts.
"Dumbledore" breathed Harry in wonder, his feet rooted to the floor. As the spirit came closer, Waves of happiness hit him like a tidal wave.
Dumbledore's here! He'll know! He'll tell them all! And this time they'll have to believe him!
Dumbledore came towards Harry, now is the time! The Media was here as well, this would be perfect to bring down some of the aura of Draco. Dumbledore was now side by side with Harry, this was it! And then Dumbledore passed him without even a second glance.
Harry: Prof. Dumbledore?
Dumbledore glides upto the table at the end of the hall and stands before an extremely nervous Draco Malfoy.
Albus Dumbledore: Draco Malfoy, I have come.
Draco: (Sweating bullets) Er, yeah. Why exactly?
Albus Dumbledore: To congratulate you.
Draco: What?
Harry: What!
Albus Dumbledore: You have defeated Lord Voldemort and accomplished an amazing amount of work in such a short span of time to make this world a better place. I am proud of you.
Draco: You are?
Harry: You are!
Albus Dumbledore: For this I honour you Draco Malfoy, Saviour of the Universe!
Draco: You do? I mean, of course you do.
Harry: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
Harry screams, pushes some Ravenclaws of their seats, then tries to overturn the table and only succeeds in making a fool of himself. He compensates by grabbing and flinging the salt and pepper bottles
Snape: Stop that now! Mr. Potter.
Harry: I will not! (Continues flinging Salt and Pepper bottles)
Albus Dumbledore: Harry, stop. Didn't I teach you any manners?
Harry: No you didn't!
Albus Dumbledore: Well, it's always somebody else's fault isn't it?
Harry: Don't you know the truth!
Crowd: Oh dear lord! Not the truth again!
Harry: But it is true! Draco and Voldemort and and ... happy dances
Snape: Yes, yes. We know, Hagrid get him out of here.
Hagrid: Sorry abou' this Arry (Picks up Harry by the collar, and deposits him outside the Great Hall)
Hagrid: You've done bad, Arry. You migh get Kitchen duties for this and believe me, yeh won't want that!
Harry: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
Hagrid: Aye, I'll leave yer alone now (Leaves)
All right! You want to know what happened with Voldemort that night! How he died? Well, I'll tell you and you'd better believe me!
It was a dark and stormy night, and I just destroyed the last Horcrux. The three of us had a plan to trap Voldemort and then finish him, needless to say, we failed and I got captured.
There I was, tied to a tree in the middle of another cemetery. Surrounded by all the Death Eaters except for Snape. There's Draco and there's Voldemort doing his happy dance.
Voldemort: Ooh, ooh. I got Harry Potter! I got Harry Potter!
Isn't this a bad predicament! Will I survive? Well, of course I'll survive! I'm standing right here, aren't I !
Voldemort: (Still doing Happy Dance) Ooh, ooh, I'm so happy, I can't do it! Draco, you do it!
Draco: At once, sire! Ahem... Avada Kedavra! ... Oops!
Voldemort: Oops? What do you mean by... ARRGGGHHHHH!
Bellatrix: You killed the Dark Lord!
Draco: I... I... I...
Bellatrix: In the light of this great new tragedy. We must stand united as one... under the leadership of me, as the new Dark Lord!
Nott: I want to be the Dark Lord.
Lestrange: No! I do.
Crabbe: No, me!
Bellatrix: (To Nott) Oh, you do huh. Take that! Avada Kedavra!
Nott: Avada Kedavra!
Lestrange: Avada Kedavra!
It was bad, really bad, my feet were starting to hurt. Oh, and the Death Eaters descended into a civil war. It was crazy, killing spells everywhere. And in no time, every single Death Eater lay dead, well, except for...
Draco: I... I... I...
Order of the Phoenix: (Apparates all around)
Lupin: Kill the Death ... ? What happened here!
Draco: I.. I... I... saved Harry!
Executive Producer: Colin Xavier