Dedicated to my dear friend,
LovingTheSilence33196.
For you. Always.
A Sunny Perch
The Vile Peaks
Sitting under the floodlight of the full moon, Light drew a knee to her chin. She was on top of a mound of scrap across a small clearing from Hope, who lay asleep on his side.
Unable to help herself, Light began to brood, something she found she was very good at as of late. All she had to think about was how she had failed Serah as her guardian, how she had been unnecessarily cruel to Hope who wanted nothing more than to strengthen himself, and the nightmares that seemed to haunt her even during her waking hours
Light sighed and contemplated all of this, begging for time to move just a little bit faster. She couldn't stand the sound of the hollow wind, which she carried with her in her heart at all times. And even though this night was stuffy, there was a chill in her bones that made her hug her knee.
Down below, to Light's relief, serenity graced Hope's features. At least he was content right now. She figured she could attempt to make up for her mistakes with Serah through Hope, somehow. Distraught with herself for the things she said to her younger companion just hours ago before Odin made his indignant appearance, Light held her face in her hands and let her shoulders sag.
Deciding it was finally time for Hope to take watch, two hours late thanks to Light's guilt, she stood from her place on the uncomfortable junk and stretched. Reluctantly, Light prodded the young boy until he gave his groggy assent to take on his responsibilities. Once Light was on her side of the camp and settling down, Hope had already woken up with the distinct taste of dirt in his mouth and began to scale the same mound of scrap as Light had.
He paused and looked over his shoulder.
"Did your watch go well?" He spoke tentatively, afraid to upset Light as he had earlier to cause her to be so stressed as to conjure her Eidolon.
"Yeah, it went fine," she said without so much as a glance in his direction; she was afraid of her own ferocity as well. "I heard a lot of noise from the East, so keep an eye out."
"Yeah," Hope breathed with a curt nod.
Continuing his ascent, Hope quickly grew uncomfortable with the stuffy air around him. He felt like he was close to being suffocated from the weather.
However, the expanse of the night sky above him took his breath away. Millions of stars peppered the sky like dust motes seen in just the right light. Clusters of celestial bodies formed the outlines of figures, he thought. The sight was so beautiful, so heartbreaking. He felt tiny and insignificant under the gaze of the night sky. Was the Maker somewhere out there in the sky? Was He watching the goings on of Cocoon and Gran Pulse? Did He care? Or was everyone truly abandoned and orphaned like Barthandelus boasted?
Hope crossed his legs and continued looking up at all of the stars, picking out his favorite formations, trying to find the brightest ones; he saw a blue star here, a red one there. Did they have people running across their surface just like this one? Could they see Gran Pulse like Hope was seeing them right now? It was a creeping feeling to think of other people out there, that he might not be alone like he always felt.
A noise in their mock camp startled Hope from his musings. He breathed a great huff of relief whe he realized it was only Light stirring. He watched her sleep for a moment and immediately felt pity for the young woman. Even in her sleep, she didn't seem to relax. Her face was taut and tense, nearly as stressed in its unconsciousness as it was with her aware. Hope wanted to console her, but he didn't know how. With Light, if words weren't chosen carefully, it would cause her to ignore everyone, or she would end up hitting someone.
"No…no, please…" Hope's brow furrowed at Light's sleep talking; this new behavior was odd and unsettling. She seemed even more distraught in her sleep now. "No…NO!" She bolted upright, her face stricken with fear and sweat. With a heaving chest, she shook her head and hid her face with her rosy hair.
Hope was stunned from having viewed this new intimate vulnerability with such rapt attention. Light was now on her side, facing away from Hope. Her Blazefire Saber was not in its holster, but Hope easily imagined the gunblade being held with a death grip near its owner's stomach.
Hope looked to the East, his lips pursed and his mind elsewhere- on the ground, beside Light, singing her a lullaby that he somehow managed to dig up from the recesses of his mind. With his own pain smarting his eyes, he hummed his mother's tune under his breath with fierce determination to comfort his friend despite himself.
It was during one of Hope's watches that the sun began to rise. The sight was a beautiful thing that he resented down to his bones.
The first time he had seen a sunrise was in Bodhum, the morning after the fireworks. He was sitting on a balcony and watching the yellow orb light up the sky with iridescent colors, pushing the violet night sky away from the beach resort. His mother was sitting next to him, her arm around his shoulders and his head leaning against hers. It was the last happy memory they had shared together.
Hope coughed into his elbow, then stood from his place on the hard metal. He was sore, his back end numb and tingling. With the cold front that was parallel to them pulling a mountain of charcoal rain clouds toward their temporary rest site, the weather felt much cooler than the previous night.
A jagged line of purple lightning cut through the titanic clouds, followed by a distant rumble of thunder. On the opposing side of the rain clouds near the horizon was a creamy yellow, which gradually turned blue, then gray as it collided with the clouds.
He dusted his silver bangs from his eyes, then turned away from the gloomy clouds. Scrambling down the mountain of miscellaneous scrap was a task that required Hope's careful attention, which he was all too glad to give. At the bottom, he watched Light sleep. He was still taken aback by how tense she was as she slept. This, coupled with her outburst last night, caused Hope to feel a deep sorrow for his friend. Remembering how his mother used to aid him when he was in one of his moods, Hope rode the furious wave of emotions that brought tears to his eyes and caused him to tremble.
He walked away to find a sunny perch before the cold front led the storm directly overhead. He could already see the gray wall of rain being unleashed and moving toward them.
Successful in his search, Hope had indulged himself a small amount of time alone, enjoying the bittersweet emotions of the sentimentality of the moment before he forced himself to his feet and back to Light. He should have woken her up quite a while ago, but he thought that was fine. With his plan securely in place, all that was left was for Hope to bring her here and do everything in his power to cheer her up, or at least soften her expression.
"Hey Light, wake up." Hope's voice was tender, but rough on Light's part as it yanked her from the depths of sleep.
Hope could tell she was fighting her way to consciousness, even as she sat up from her awkward position on the hard ground. She looked at him, a clump of hair mussed from sleep covering an eye, her other half-lidded. He let a soft chuckle escape from his lips as he straightened himself from a crouch beside his companion. It was strange enough to have his watch end on a sunset, but to end with seeing Light's hair in a goofy way almost made him feel better.
However, it was not his own feelings he was worried about. No, he was concerned for Light, who, even though still caught between this world and the obviously tragic one in her head, seemed to feel her pain burning as hot as white iron. He knew the feeling all too well, which pushed the empathetic boy to take Light's hand and help her up, then fix her hair as best he could. She watched him for a moment, but her eyes were less calculating than usual with her sleepy gaze, beneath which were heavy, purple bags.
"I have a surprise for you, alright?" He said with a smile. Light cocked her head and furrowed her brow. "Come on."
"Hope, I really don't think-"
"You're awake enough to be making judgments. So just follow me, okay? I promise it's not so bad." He held a shoulder up, trying to tug her along with his words and body language as best he could. She sighed with defeat and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Let's hurry. We don't want to-"
"No, no! It's in the same direction we need to go anyway." He faced her fully, excited that he had proved he could think ahead of time. Light couldn't help but feel proud for him, that something had made him feel this way. She nodded.
"Come on. We don't have time to lose."
During the weaving walk through the countless mounds of junk, Hope rambled on and on about how convenient this was. He said they could take a break there, hopefully before it started to rain (they could hear the thunder as if it were over their shoulders now). He said there was no way that she could come out of it, whatever "it" was, with a frown on her face. He said it used to cheer him up.
Hope parked himself in front of a mound of scrap that looked just the same as every one around it. Light didn't see how it was so special, but she decided to humor the boy for now.
"We can take our break there!" Hope pointed to the top of the mound. There was a faded, forest green generator that was just big enough for two people to sit on comfortably beside each other.
"You pick the one place where the sun will shine on us like a spotlight." She was skeptical as she placed her hands on her hips.
"That's kinda the point." Hope nodded his head in the direction of the thunderheads, which produced a strike of lightning and thunder on cue.
"This is ridiculous! We're being pursued, and you want to waste your time dawdling on generators? This isn't getting stronger- this is being stupid." She glared at Hope and willed him to walk away from the junk, willed him to forget about the sunlit generator, willed him to not force her to use biting words against him again. Her irritation welled within her, burning her insides to ashes.
"No, it's not! I'm doing this to help you."
"This isn't helping anyone. It'll kill us, do you hear me?" Hope stomped his foot on the ground and balled his fists at his sides. He pointed at the generator once more and opened his mouth to respond, but Light's words cut through his false outward strength and sent nauseas humiliation to his stomach. "You're just a powerless child giving the enemies a chance to catch up to us. And I can't fight everyone off, Hope. If you want to be useful anywhere in the near future, knock off this attitude and focus on the battles ahead, not a stupid- generator." The bags under her eyes were emphasized with her heavy breathing. Hope winced at Light's words, his body loosening at the anguish he felt. Did she have to be so cruel about the truth?
He turned, but stopped when he heard Light sigh. He glared over his shoulder, still stinging from her words.
"Look, Hope, I'm sorry. I'm tired, and stressed, and-" she paused to take a tired breath- "I didn't mean…I didn't mean what I said. Here, let's go look at the generator." She walked over to him and offered him a sad smile, then began making her way up the junk pile.
Nervously, Hope easily followed behind her. Remembering the path he used the first time, he was the first to sit on the generator. His legs dangled over the edge. Looking over his shoulder at Light, he patted the spot next to him, which sent up a few puffs of dust.
She watched him for a moment, saw the dampened joy in his blue-green diamond eyes, then sat beside her dear friend.
"You know a fun game to play right now?" Hope's voice was quiet, but strong as he fended off the pain.
"What?"
"I Spy. I'll go first." Hope put his elbow on his thigh, held his chin in his hand, then looked at the rusty, dismal landscape before them. Light couldn't imagine anything standing out to him, but Hope quickly came back to her. "I spy something brown and unmoving," Hope said, ruling out the brown cloth several yards beneath him. Light suddenly realized there were many inert brown objects in the Vile Peaks.
"Can I have another hint?" She looked over at Hope and saw a small twinkle in his eyes. Quickly, he looked away, careful to keep his eyes away from the object he had spied.
"It only has two pieces. It looks lonely and sad. It's kind of leaning, too." Hope's voice cracked near the end of his sentence, but then he cleared his throat and held his face firm and stoic.
Light decided asking him too many questions right now might not be such a good idea. She didn't want to see the poor boy break down. Her eyes grazed across the world around them, keeping each of the descriptions Hope had used at the front of her mind.
"Is it that cross there?" She pointed to a lonely, empty, wooden cross poking up from between what looked like the remains of an airship. Hope nodded fervently.
"Your turn."
Light was quiet and concentrated very hard as she looked for something in the distance. Frustrated for not finding something that caught her attention, she glanced over at Hope and saw him with his legs crossed, picking at one of his shoe laces. Finally, she couldn't hold back her guilt anymore.
"Hey, Hope. You know I didn't mean what I said, right?" Light's query was sincere; regret clearly shone in her eyes.
"Yeah, no, it's not that. It's just…my mom used to play this game for me to make me stop thinking about something that upset me." He looked over at Light, his gleaming silver bangs covering part of his face. "I know you had a nightmare last night, so I wanted to make you feel better…"
Light's heart went out to the boy just then. He was so innocent, so kind, so thoughtful. He certainly wouldn't ever replace Serah, but Hope Estheim held a secure place in Light's heart. She gave an affectionate smile to the boy, then put a hand on his head, just like she'd do with Serah to get her to look up at her when she was ignoring her big sister over something trivial.
She spoke, and her words were soft and genuine.
"Thank you, Hope."
He smiled up at her, then started to ask her if she spied anything, but instead blurted, "what was your nightmare about?"
Suddenly, Light was tense once more, her eyes slits on her pale face. She pulled her hand back and began to finger her glove and glare at the article of clothing with unnecessary ferocity.
Hope felt his stomach freeze over, then drop with regret. He'd gone and ruined the moment they had with his stupidity. He wished he could take his words back. He wished he could ask her to forget that last comment, or at least let him start fresh. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" Light waved him off and sighed.
"No, it's…this is twice in one day that I've proved I'll go along with whatever you say…" she stopped fingering her glove and looked at the wall of rain that was steadily moving across the landscape to their temporarily sunny perch. Hope thought she looked lovely in the light of the morning sun, despite the tired bags sagging beneath her teal eyes. His third wish was that he could've grown up with Light as his older sister, instead of alone as he really had. "I've had nightmares before, but last night was different. I dreamt that…I killed Serah. You found out and…left. And then I was alone out here in the Vile Peaks, wandering aimlessly for something I couldn't remember anymore…" her voice trailed off, lost in the innumerable amount of trash surrounding them.
Hope was purely and simply taken aback by her words. He never would have thought in a thousand years that his presence meant that much to Light. He imagined a tiny tug on his chest, a silver string connecting the two, never letting them really separate. He smiled at Light and then looked out at the rain clouds with her.
"I won't ever leave you for any reason, Light. Not really. I promise." Hope gave a single nod to emphasize his point, because he wanted her to believe in what he believed in.
He felt a pressure on his hand as Light squeezed it in her grateful thanks.
The silence that followed was comfortable and welcome. They sat on the generator for quite some time, indulging in pleasant conversation, biding their time against their pursuers and the storm that blew fiercely, not half an hour away. And that thirty minutes seemed to fly by before the thunder was booming over their heads, the rain giving them a break to escape its forthcoming wrath.
"Come on! Earlier, I think I saw a little cave somewhere over here." Hope hopped from mountain to mountain as he scanned the area; Light was close behind him, unable to keep herself from giving a faint smile as she left the deep forest green of the generator.
"Hey, Hope," Light called out, stopping he boy in his tracks. He turned around expectantly, his lips slightly parted. For a moment, Light was lost in her affection for her companion, who was the closest thing to Serah as anyone could ever get. She smiled. "I'm glad we did this."
Hope's face broke out into a wide smile. He nodded once, then continued on, looking for the shelter.
Because it rained all day, and Light figured they were far enough off the beaten trail, she allowed them to rest for the remainder of the storm. Huddled together in the faded light of noon inside a small but cozy makeshift shelter, they chatted away the peaceful thrum of the rain from their awareness. There was nothing but their smiles, their voices, and the silver string bobbing between the two against the wind.
A/N: I really hope you enjoyed this, Juniper. You're my buddie, and I want you to know how much you mean to me, no matter how far apart we are. I love you.
And to the random people who read this, I hope you enjoyed it as well.
