The Little Girl Inside Me
There was a time, long ago, when I would play with my teddy bear or braid my sisters hair. There was a time when we would drink tea (really pumpkin juice) and talk in posh English accents. Their was a time when us 3 would talk about a handsome (and pureblooded) prince that would marry us and make us princesses of his magical kingdom. There was a time when we were pure and innocent, unaware of the world around us. We would stay away from Sirius and Regulus, best friends at the time, because we thought boys had cooties. I am sure that these things happened, how could they not. Surely these are what happened to every little girl. I wish I still had that little girl inside of me. I wish I had the innocence I know I once had. If I did maybe I wouldn't have done the things I did. Sometimes, when I am killing a little child or watching there mothers writhe in pain, I have that little girl inside me, crying in empathy but I push her in the back of m mind. That little girl tells me I am doing the wrong thing and I should stop but I never do. That little girl tells me there is still time to change but I know that is a lie. I can never get back the innocence I once knew. I can't bring back all the lives lost at my hand, no matter how hard I wish. I thought the dark lord was my prince and the Death Eaters were my kingdom. Boy was I wrong. I think I knew I was wrong all along but I could never believe myself. I told myself whenever that little girl came back that I was happy, though that was the farthest thing from the truth. Contrary to popular belief, I don't like killing and torturing people, but I did like a fairytale ending. Every time a body went still or a brain was corrupted my soul and heart died a little so all that was left was my insanity and desire to serve my "prince", who was not a prince at all. He was more like the evil villain that the prince saves you from, I just wish I was smart enough to know that. That little girl inside me told me that what I was doing was wrong. I wish I listened to her.