A/N: This is my first story, so here you go! Sorry if there are any mistakes! UN-BETAed!!
Title: How to say the big 3 (duh)
Author: HMMM… I WONDER!
Characters: Kotetsu & Izumo
Pairing: Kotetsu & Izumo
WARNING: TALKS ABOUT KILLING BARNEY! (big whoop… ^^) HAS MILD MANxMAN! ONE-SHOT! STUPID PLOT! CRACK STORY! AAAND: IT'S ABOUT TO START!!!!! AAAAAAAH-
Oh goodness gracious, I have to sit next to him again… all day long… I hate it! But why? I love him… But he taunts me like he knows! Wait. Does he? I hope not. He'd never speak to me again if he knew how much I loved him.
I sigh at the statement that I've made in my head as I approach Kotetsu waiting for me standing at the booth. I sigh again as I reach him.
"Good morning, Izumo! How are you?" he asks as he opens the door for me.
I walk in, thanking him. Disregarding his question, I simply say, "Hello." I take my seat, and wait for the day to end.
"Why are you acting so…"
"Depressed?"
"Yeah! Why is it?" He asks, sitting down in his respectful space, setting his hand on my shoulder.
"What do you care?" I retort.
"You're my friend, and I worry about you. Some days you come in, bright as the sun herself, others, as dark as coal. Why is it? Don't tell me you're going through menopause!" He has an odd sense of humor.
"No, I am not going through menopause," I say matter-of-factly, "but I am going through a change. Well, not so much a change as a change of feelings. For someone." I say, looking into a hovering cloud as Kotetsu replies to me.
"Who? What kind of feelings did you have for them? What feeling do you have now?"
"I don't want to say who, actually. But I was their best friend. And now, I like them… a lot…"
Inching his hand up my shoulder a bit, almost reaching my neck, he asks, "How much?"
I look at his hand, wanting to hold it and tell him he was the one I'm talking about, but I don't, I simply stare. "Love," I say, telling the truth.
He smiles at me, and takes his hand off, and pats my knee with it, then lays it there. "Whoever they are, they are lucky to have a guy like you. You're always so nice even when you're angry. You never hurt anyone. You're always on time. I bet they love you a lot, Izumo." He looks at me like he's staring into my soul, but smiling.
"I… am always on time, aren't I?" I say pathetically, laughing. Kotetsu laughs with me for a bit, and then finally, he removes his hand, and places them behind his head, trying to get into a comfortable position.
"Yep. I… guess you are!" he chuckles out.
'How much longer is this going to last?!' I think to myself as our conversation begins to die down.
"Kotetsu?"
"Mm?" He asks with his eyes and mouth closed.
"How do you tell a person… you love them?" 'That's the best you can do?!?!? Why didn't you just TELL him?!?!?'
"Is this about 'anonymous'?" he questions, now looking at me, but his hands are still behind his head.
"Yeah…"
"Well, I never told anybody I loved them, but when I do, it would start off with, 'I love you, Person!' And end with, 'Do you love me, too'"
"Oh. What if this person isn't in any relationship with you? Then how?" I am such a duffas…
"How do you fall in love with someone you don't know?"
"I mean a romantic relationship."
"Oh. Well then, in that case, I'd never tell them. I wouldn't be able to risk being crushed by the person I love. I just… I couldn't…" He says the last part, looking away, saying it… far away. Like that's the position he's in now… Hmm…
"What if they told you that they loved you? What would you do then?"
"Say, 'I love you, too,' hug them, make-out with them, then have sex with them. Duh!" He starts laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world.
"Yeah, I guess we'd all do that…"
"Izumo? Why won't you tell me who it is you love? I'm your best friend. I wouldn't laugh at you, or go tell them, or anyone else for that matter. But, I'm dying to know who it is." He gives me the most serious face in the world, searching for anything that'll tell him who it is.
'Because it's you, you moron! CANT'T YA TELL?' "Because I just want them to be the first to know. When I tell them, you'll be the next to know." I'll never be able to tell him. I might as well give up on this charade…
"Is it me?" He asks those three simple words, and I feel like I could die.
"No. It's not you. You do know them, but it's not you." 'YES!!!!! IT'S YOU!'
He looks away as soon as I said "No" and doesn't turn his head back until he said, "Good. That would be kinda creepy if you loved me!" he laughs out, nervously.
"…" I don't say anything; I just keep looking at him.
"Right?" He asks, suddenly turning serious.
"I don't know. It's your opinion. If I loved you, and you loved me, too, then it wouldn't be creepy. But if I just loved you, then I guess it would be kinda creepy… for you," I added quickly.
"Yeah," he turns his head back around, closing his eyes, "I guess."
At the end of my shift, I give Kotetsu my goodbye, then start off, walking home.
Almost at my house, I hear footsteps behind me. When I look, I see no one.
Great.
A stalker.
Just what I need. I speed up to my house, seeing it in the distance. When I get to my door to unlock it, I take a quick look behind me again, just to make sure no one is following me in. I unlock it quickly, followed by me running in the house, putting the chain on, and turning the lights on.
No one could have gotten in. I walk over to my fridge for a snack, only to find nothing in there.
"Aww, man. Damn!" I slam the fridge, having enough for one day.
I go over to my couch, grunting about everything.
"First, Kotetsu tells me he'd by creeped out by my loving him, then, on the way home, I was being stalked, THEN there's nothing in the fridge, and now, I'M SITTING MY SWEATY ASS ON MY CLEAN COUCH!!!" I stand up, wiping the couch off with my hands. "I'm such an IDIOT! UH!" I shout as I walk to my room.
I start to strip myself of my clothes as I walk down the hallway. I get to my room, open the door, walk over to my laundry basket, and open it. It was empty. But I only do laundry on Sundays… Today's Thursday.
"Thought I could help clean up," a familiar voice says from behind me. I quick turn around to see Kotetsu's face in mine.
"K-Kotetsu? What are you doing here?" CRAP! Did he hear what I said about him???
"I thought I'd help you with your housework. You mentioned it today at work. About how much you had. So as soon as our shift was over, I followed you home. As soon as I knew which house was yours, I went ahead of you, and helped clean your house as a surprise!" He said it so fast, I thought his mouth was gonna fall off.
"Why?" I was so confused.
"I… I-I don't know. I just… wanted to make you happy… I guess." He smiled sheepishly when he said that. It was the cutest thing I ever saw!
"I greatly appreciate that, Kotestu. Thank you." I bowed to him, and then put my clothes in the basket.
"So. I'll just be going now. Bye, Izumo." He starts to walk slowly to the door when I speak up, knowingly.
"You wanna crash here for the night?" I ask, putting on a clean shirt and some socks.
He quickly spins around, "SURE! But where will I sleep?"
"Kotetsu. I… you can have my bed. I'll sleep out on the sofa."
"No! I can't do that! I'll take the sofa."
"Not because you're over-weight, but you might break it if you sit on it. It is VERY weak. The only way I can be on it is because I am very light-weight. I don't mind."
"No! Your beds big…"
'Great… '
"We could… sleep together…"
"Are you sure? Because just 4 seconds ago, you said how you'd be creeped out if I loved you, but now you want to sleep with me."
"Well you're not gonna do anything, are you?"
"No." 'Aww…'
"Then ok! We'll share your bed!"
"Fine…"
We walked over to the bed, and as we got in, my face turned red. Then as we started to move around, trying to get comfortable, I heard a happy grunt come from behind me. I smiled greatly when I heard that. As soon as I heard snoring, I turned myself to face Kotetsu. His face was flushed red like a cherry. And he was smiling like a goon. I think he likes me, too. So, I put my arm around him, and he snuggles into me.
"This is how I tell someone that I'm not in a romantic relationship with that I love them, Izumo." He looked up at me, and kissed my nose. "I really do love you."
I was in shock. He fooled me! JERK! "I-I love you, too, Kotetsu."
He smiled, and rolled me on top of him. "I told you I love you, we kissed, and we hugged, now…"
It took me a moment to realize what he was saying. "Sex?"
"You bet!"
"Ok. Your wish is my command, Master."
"Mm, call me that from now on."
"Why? I have a lot more names for ya! Like, 'Love,' 'Sexy,' 'JERK!'" I yelled as I hit his chest. Softly of course! "How could you do that? How long did you know?"
"I never knew. I used my sleeping with you to figure it out. If you tried something, then it was me you were talking about. If you didn't, then it wasn't me. Simple as that."
"But what if I did love you, but thought better than that of taking advantage of you? Then what?"
"Lost cause. I'd find out sooner or later."
"Sooner. I was at my breaking point!"
"Well then, I'm happy it ended like this."
"It ain't over, yet, Kotetsu. We still have step four to accomplish, don't we?
"Oh, boy, yes! We! DO!"
The next morning, I turn around in my bed to find Kotetsu gone, and a note in his place.
THE NOTE:
Dear Love-Of-My-Life,
I love you.
You love me.
Were a happy couple of faggies!
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you,
Won't you come kill Barney, too!
I took the liberty of cleaning up and going out to get some food.
Be back soon!
XOXOXOXOX
The Love-Of-Your-Life,
-Barney (Kotetsu)
I smiled as I read the note, laughing at the word "faggies" and about killing Barney. I put the note back, and got up to put something on. I need to look my best for Kotetsu. Or maybe I'll just wait for him to come back, lying naked on the bed for him…
Oh, the possibilities!
A/N: I know, it's the lamest thing you've ever read, right??? Well, either way, I just love this couple and thought they needed a good non-smut story about them! AND SORRY IF I OFFENDED ANYONE ABOUT THE BARNY THING! I just hate that SOB. Hope you enjoyed it! Please comment and rate!!
RATING SHEET:
1: IT SUCKED BUTT CHEEKS!
2: THAT WAS TERRIBLE!
3: *BARF*
4: NOTHING SPECIAL
5: AVERAGE…
6: GREAT!
7: AWESOME!
8: WOOT! SPECTACULAR!
9: THAT WAS THE BEST FF IN THE WORLD!
10: *KILLS SELF IN AWE* (my rating… ^^)