Save your heart for someone that's worth dying for. Don't give it away. Torn apart,never getting what you've been crying for. It's always the same..
I've been listening to the same song on repeat for the past two weeks..I'm sure it qualifies as a mantra by now.
It was pathetic, honestly. Just a breakup, nothing less and nothing more but I was acting like it was the apocalypse. He's just a guy…just another guy. No matter how many times I repeated this in my head, it seemed to never work.
He was honestly it, my forever. Emmett.
Ouch. I inhaled deeply, thinking his name hurt way too much. I couldn't do it. I couldn't pass him in the hall, I couldn't do anything anymore. My brother, Jordan basically had to drag me to school every day.
"Allison Iliana Masen," It was another one of those days. Didn't get any sleep, couldn't eat…
"Yes, J?" I managed to whisper as my brother towered over me while I piled the necessary resources for homework that night from my locker to my messenger bag. I paused momentarily to make a mental note to get a new messenger bag, as this one was old and dingy..And smelt like him.
"I hate to see a guy..To see one of my closest friends have this much of an effect on you," He shook his head, stumbling over his words and sighed. "I fucking told him to stay away from you. You guys thought everything would be fine, but now look at you, Alli! My baby sister.." Was Jordan about to cry? Wait, scratch that. Cry in front of a majority of Forks High?
I could feel Emmett's presence as Jordan droned on and on and on, and had to force myself to avert my attention from his laughter, and pay attention to my chipping nail polish. This shade of blue, too, had to go.
He didn't even look my way. Not that I expected him to anyways. God, I thought to myself, maybe if he sees me moving on and accepting what happened, he'll start acknowledging me again and we –will- get our happily ever after.
Slamming the locker door shut, almost severing Jordan's finger in the process, I slung my Pink Jansport over my shoulder and walked ram rod straight to the parking lot, both earbuds in. Emmett's family was pretty much my ride to and from school, seeing as I could barely stand to breathe the same air as my asswad of an older brother. But, now that things are done between us, I walked. Not that I mind. I need the air, the space, the dampness of the air around me against my skin. It reminded me of the many walks we took together and that one picnic/mini birthday party/camping trip in the mountain range once. We were unbelievably high up then. I could never forget that day. Well, of course not… I gave him my virginity then.
As I hummed along to a new song now, Oh, It Is Love by Hellogoodbye, Emma, one of my closest friends here at Forks High other than the Cullen's and Bella, waved to me singling me to come over by her car.
Ducking my head down, and tucking a strand of my blond hair behind my ear I made another mental note to probably cut it. It was getting reasonably long. Almost at my ass; that's how Emmett liked it.
"Hey, Emma." I offered her a small smile as I leaned against her car. Shiny and expensive; that's Emma. I paused the song I was listening to because she hated the fact that I was always listening to music. When Emma spoke, she demanded to be heard. No matter whom you were. I'm surprised her boyfriend's still with her.
Emma rolled her eyes at me. She could always see right through me, it was impossible to lie to her. "Okay, Alli.. Listen, I know you're not fine. But, please, I'll give you a ride to my house. There's a party tonight.."She trailed off, waggling her brows at me.
"Can't it's a school night, and we have Dance." I didn't even have to think about it. The words just came out on their own.
"Bitch, its Thursday. We don't have Dance today." Emma glared at me, her hands on her tiny hips. God, she was intimidating. "Are you seriously going to let someone who isn't even in your life anymore, control it?"
Emma was a serial dater, to say the least. She got rid of guys like she got rid of her clothes; out of style, not in this season, gone. It was that simple. If you bore her, she wouldn't waste her breath on you, and that's what I loved about Emma. Love was not really her thing; she had no time for that. But, Steven, everyone could tell that he had changed that and so much more for her. But she didn't see it; she refused to believe it. She was the kind of person who believed that there was only one person that could have an effect on her life, and that was herself.
"..But," I racked my brain for an excuse. Mom's birthday? No. Dad's in town? Nah. Way too much homework? Been there and done that. Those excuses were overused and lame.
Before I knew it, I was being tugged into her Jaguar and the passenger door slammed shut. So much for a say in the matter, Emma. I thought to myself. Mentally, I was going through the alphabet finding all the bad words in the book I could use to curse her out, but I knew I didn't have the guts. I was only on M when we got to her house. Damn, did I really not know that many bad words? I think my homework for tonight was to extend my Vocabulary.
-SYH-
"There's no way on God's green Earth I'm wearing…whatever the hell this is!" I was blushing probably the deepest shade of Red that I was physically capable of managing as I looked at the reflection of (myself?) in Emma's closet mirror.
Her whole house was huge, and her closet alone was probably the size of Jordan's room.
"Allison, you look so… innocent but fuckable. Just wear it, for a few hours. Then, I don't care what the hell you do with it. Burn it, run over it, it's so '09 anyways." She grinned as she adjusted her crop top in the mirror. We looked like similar at the moment, and if you knew Emma's sense of style, I looked like a spoiled rotten street walker.
"These shorts are waaaay too form fitting." Every time I tugged down at it, it just rose up again. Oh, God. I can already feel all the attention I'm gonna get tonight.
"Whoa, whoa…ladies. I think you're in need of a body guard…or two." Steven's deep voice came from behind us, as he wrapped his arms around Emma. This, I sort of envied. Their cuteness. When the whole Emmett thing first happened, they toned it down a bit, knowing I was sensitive to all that couple-y stuff. But, it's been two weeks, and in Emma's world I should be way past the sulking stage and already on to the next one.
As I looked back at my reflection, I noticed I've been slightly exaggerating. It wasn't all that bad; I guess it was the knee high socks that were throwing me off. But, honestly the plaid button up with most of the top buttons undone showing a tiny sliver of my white undershirt and a sensible amount of cleavage, and the short shorts weren't that bad. It's how I used to dress before the break up. I noticed that I missed this.
My hair was straightened which made it longer, but braided into a full fish tail braid. I smiled and I could tell that's exactly what Emma wanted because she yelled "Yes!" and immediately ran out of her room, down the stairs and into Steven's car with me in tow. Seriously, does my opinion not matter anymore?
The whole car ride there, Emma and Steven kept their hands locked tightly together and made cute faces. I wanted to cry but I didn't want to ruin my makeup.
The party, I noticed, was at Kyle's house. He was a Senior and a football player, and his best friend. I knew more than likely he'd be here. But, tonight, I wasn't giving a fuck.
The music was loud, and the booze was already pouring. I could tell at least a good percentage of the people were wasted.
"AY! Who invited little ?" Kyle boomed eyeing me generously, beer in hand as I walked past him, find a spot on a couch between two familiar faces.
I was making conversation when my eye landed on Emmett. He was standing there, being chatted up by a few sophomore whores as usual, but the whole time his eyes were on me. I could feel it and it was a bit uncomfortable.
I couldn't help the smirk that found its way across my face, and I flipped my braid to my other shoulder.
Oh, yeah. I thought to myself. Keep on staring, Emmett. Mission accomplished.
So, what do you think about it so far? Just a little idea that came to me and I started writing. Review, alert, share and spread the word about this one.
Thanks for reading!
P.S. Emma is me, and Steven is in fact, the love of my life.e's