Eyes So Blue You Could Swim in Them
"So... what's April like?"
"Smart, serious, absolutely fearless. Remember what we were like when we were eleven? We thought we could do anything."
"Does she look like Luke?"
"Not really. She has dark curly hair in a ponytail, brown eyes, glasses."
"How was it – meeting future stepsister?"
"I thought it would be weirder than it was actually. Luke had told her I was going to Yale so she was full of questions about it. I invited her to visit me some weekend, stay over and we'd visit the libraries and museums and everything if it was alright with her mother."
"Do you think this time you can manage not to lose the girl?"
"Lane, that's totally unfair. April is a smart 11 year old who loves science. She is not some ditzy Chilton teen dying to go to college parties."
"Okay, okay...you have to admit it was funny."
"It was not funny at the time. If you could have heard the way the Headmaster talked to me."
"Rory, you really need to get over it. Anyway, back to April and April's mother. Have you met her yet? What does she look like?"
"No, I haven't met her yet. Mom has or at least a little. She dropped April off at Luke's for a visit and Luke introduced them."
"That had to freak your Mom out a little meeting Luke's kid's mom."
"I think it did but she's not talking about it."
"Did she say anything about her, what's her name anyway?"
"Anna. All Mom said is that she seemed nice but a little nervous. She has dark hair, is a little shorter than Mom and has blue eyes. I thought she sounded like she looked like Mom but when I asked Mom about it, she just said just because Anna has blue eyes and dark hair does not mean she looks like her. I think Mom's still a little freaked about the whole thing especially about how long it took Luke to tell her about April. Still, they've set the date for the wedding so I think they're working it out."
Silence...looong pause.
"Lane, are you still there?"
"Uh...Rory, did you say April's mother has blue eyes?"
"That's what my mom said, I've never met her. I just told you that. Why are you so interested in Anna's eye color?"
"Rory, I know I took high school bio in Stars Hollow High and you took it at big fancy Chilton but didn't you get the lesson on eye color and genetics?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Luke has blue eyes, you said April has brown eyes and Lorelei said Anna has blue eyes, right?"
"Right. So?"
"Blue eyes are recessive traits, Rory. You must have learned that. People with brown eyes can have a blue eyed trait that they can pass on to their kids but people with blue eyes have the blue eyed gene from both parents and can't pass on any brown eyed gene. Rory, two people with blue eyes can't, absolutely can't have a brown eyed child. April or the lab must have screwed up the paternity test."
"Lane, are you serious? Luke has fallen heads over heels for April. He's obsessed about making up for lost time and being the best father he can. This can't all be a mistake."
"Rory, think. Every high school bio class gets Mendel's peas, the fruit flies and the blue eyed/brown eyed thing. Didn't you?"
"God, I don't remember but if Luke isn't April's Dad... Oh my god."
"Okay, calm down. Let's think this through. You can check if I right with five minutes of Googling. And if I'm right and I know I am, you can't keep this a secret."
"Lane, I cannot tell my Mom and Luke this."
"Rory, maybe you can't tell them but this is too big a thing to keep secret. If I could figure it out over the phone somebody else is going to figure it out eventually. What if April finds it out herself when she gets to high school bio? Can you imagine being 16, sitting in a classroom and figuring out that not only isn't your father not your father but you screwed up the identification in a junior high science fair? Talk about trauma and guilt."
"What am I going to do?"
"Okay, if you were April who would you want to tell you something this big and awful if you had to be told? If I were April, I'd want to hear it from my mother."
"That makes sense. But that would mean, I'd have to... Oh, no Lane. I've never met Anna. What am I going to do just go up to a strange woman and say, guess what? the man you just found out was the one who knocked you up didn't really do it because you have blue eyes?"
"I think you'll find a nicer way of saying it. But seriously, Rory. Isn't Anna the only one it makes sense to tell first? Not only sense but it is probably the kindest and I don't know how to say it. I guess it is the most decent thing to do. Anna is April's mom. She has to be the one to tell her. Not to mention she's the one who should get all three of them really tested. If I remember bio class, blood tests are much more reliable than hair tests for paternity."
"Lane..this is really really messed up. This is messed up for so many people. Are you absolutely sure that two blue eyed people can't have a brown eyed child?"
"Rory, just Google the words blue brown eyes recessive. Do a domain limit to site:edu if you want to avoid the .com sites and just get the real university stuff."
"What are you talking about?"
"I was bored and started to read the Google help page. Did you know you can search just government sites if you use is so not helping, Lane."
TBC
Author's notes
Yes, I checked and the actress cast to play Anna Nardini is described as having blue eyes and the actress playing April has brown eyes.
So here are the possibilities I see:
1. The casting director is an idiot who never heard of Mendel's peas, fruit flies or recessive traits in which case I must suspend all disbelief and accept that in the Gilmore Girls world blue eyes are not recessive.
2. The actress playing Anna Nardini will be wearing brown contacts, my annoyance has been for nothing and I must endure this storyline longer.
3. ASP and the casting director know exactly what they are doing which involves revealing that Luke is not April's dad as part of the cliffhanger at the end of Season 6.
The title comes from a descriptive passage in a wonderful book with a character who reminds me of Luke. The book is called Mrs. Mike.