The TARDIS Book: THE TIME IS NOW (Part 4)
Book Three: TO ABDICATE THE KING
Chapter 7: The Power of the TARDIS
Finn had been crawling around aimlessly for who know how long through the vent system for the ice castle. Waiting for a sign of life, at least.
His breath hitched. He finally some heard footsteps. Of course his heart replied before his brain could. There was light in the icy corridor so he turned off the flashlight and put it in the slot of his utility belt. And it wasn't exactly subtle, either. It was a particularly noisy flashlight. He used a screwdriver to open the nearest air vent. He leaped down, stealthily landing on the ball bones of his feets. He positioned the gold sword in front of him, turning every so often in case the thing came from the opening on the other side. The sound of the footsteps were getting closer. He stopped in his tracks at the corner of the corridor, waiting for the person or creature to come close enough where he could jump out in front of them. He counted to three, jumping out and aimed the sword at the face of his new opponent.
"Hello, Finn." The girl was very calm, but he could feel that his breathing became more shallow.
"How do you know my name? Where's Jake and what have you done with him?" Finn asked at a very loud volume.
"He's fine but I can't explain anything yet. If I explain things now, your heart will explode. Or you'll go mentally insane-I'm not really sure which is worse. So just calm down before you kill someone," she cautioned him.
"And how do you know that that person isn't you?"
"Because look at me. You know who I am. And you wouldn't hurt an innocent girl, would you?" the girl said in a soothing voice. He didn't feel any better, but he lowered his sword. Of course he couldn't kill her- she was just some girl. He looked at her again. Did he really know her? She had short, boyish hair. And an oval, fair face. But it almost... looked like she had some fever or something. She was pink all over- her hands, her face, her hair. He knew her from somewhere. He racked his brain for some clue. He wish he could dump out all of the contents of his brain like the drawer in his bedroom and shuffle through the mess so he could find it, like he found the flashlight.
"I can tell that you know. It's all over your face. If you do two things for me, then I promise there will be no doubt in your mind, alright?" she bargained.
He was dying to find out, so he nodded.
"First, look down." He looked down to see his flashlight in her hand.
"Hey! How did you get that off me?" He shouted.
"I didn't. Check your belt, the one I gave you is still there."
He couldn't breath. She was the girl of his dreams. Literally. She was real. Impossible, yet real. And he knew that he wasn't dreaming because if he were was, he wouldn't be reacting. And boy, was he reacting.
"Second thing: hold still," she said as she put her pink hands on his face and leaned in. At first he couldn't believe it. He thought she was going to twist his neck. But no, her face was too close and her eyes were shut. He still didn't believe it. Her lips landed on his. He had no idea what to do. A girl had never kissed him before. What was he supposed to do with his lips? His eyes were wide open. Was he supposed to close them? What was happening to his head? Why is there gold izzy stuff coming out of his head? Oh glob, is this how she kills her victims? Kissing them to death with her weirdly attractive yet lethal alien powers? He felt a very confusing mixture of shame and excitement. And then fear. Oh glob, what if she's right and his heart explodes?
She released his head and examined him. He was still in awe of what happened. Was this Purgatory? Was he going to spend the rest of eternity having a pretty girl stare at him? If this was Hell, why was his punishment discomfort and embarrassment?
"Now let me explain things- I had to transfer the energy of the TARDIS, or at least the tiniest fraction of it, to your body and mind, specifically your heart. Not only have I extended your probable lifespan to about 2.544 times as many years as it would have been, but I also strengthened the interior of your heart as well as expanding it about 1.00002-well 1.000021 times as much. So while you still have extremely drastic emotional swings- which I believe are common among humans your age anyways- your heart can withstand the truth. And here it is: I am the Princess of the Candy Kingdom and a time traveler. Because I have mutated and evolved from the radiation of the TARDIS, I have two hearts. I have the power to regenerate bodies, never aging, never dying, here on Ooo for the past 160 years. After my eighth regeneration, I decided to take up a study on Ooo of an adolescent human boy. You. As I was investigating the Magic Man case, I decided to interact directly with you and your dog, Jake. Now, do you remember the rest Finn?"
Finn was shocked at how clear his thinking was. He was absolutely terrified, but he could remember everything. It was like his mind's eye finally found a good monocle to see through. The sharp pain of the water particles stabbing into his open wound. The conversation he had had with Ice King. The brilliantly blue flashlight. The dream where she had ambushed him in his room. It wasn't a dream though. And it wasn't the first time they met. They met at the clock factory, back when he could work, just hot gluing pieces to the interior of a pocket watch, making sure the gears were turning and whatnot. He was bored until he saw her. Bored with his entire life, expecting to die sick and poor. He didn't feel like he had anything to look forward to until he met her. He tried talking to her. He wanted so badly to impress her. That's why he ran back for her- he wanted to save her. He felt a huge wave of dread hit him as he remembered the next part. The man with the empty, white eyes locking his wrists. He wasn't prepared for that pain. The shock. This was what his memory had been hiding from him, as an act of self-preservation. But now that he had the ability to see, he saw the unbearable truth. The pain that no one else survived. The pain that alienated him.
"I do... I remember how it felt," he whimpered. Before he knew it, he was sobbing. He wrapped his arms around the Princess. She held him as he buried his face into her shoulder.
"I know. That's part of having the power of the TARDIS. It's sort of a blessing and a curse, seeing things that no one else can see..." she empathized. Of course she knew. She was the one who gave up a fraction of her power for him. He couldn't understand what it would be like to be as powerful as her. He was only feeling a fraction of it. Not only was she powerful and majestic, but she was kind. Usually in mythology, goddesses were cruel and unforgiving, but not her.
"I'm afraid there's not much time to mourn. We need to find the Ice King to save Jake," she reminded him. Finn rubbed his eyes with both hands and realized that he had dropped his sword when she kissed him. He carefully lifted it off of the icy floor, not to provoke another bloody mess with another open wound. The Princess began to run towards the end of the corridor that she had come from and Finn followed. After a few minutes, her running became walking.
"Hey, umm... why was I so out of it when you visited me in my room?"
She shushed him and whispered, "We're getting very close to where Ice King's main chamber is. I believe that's where he's holding Jake."
They rounded the corner to see the back of a wardrobe.
"What is that doing here?" He whispered to her, as quietly as he could manage.
"That's the TARDIS, my time machine."
"It looks tiny! You could barely fit in it!"
"Trust me, it's different on the inside. Before we take action, I need you to spray Ice King with this," she said as she reached into her frock coat's pocket to lift out a small perfume bottle.
"He'll become really drowsy and limp for a few minutes. Be careful not to aim it anywhere besides his face. Now, I need you to kick down the door on my count. Ready?" He put the bottle in the breast pocket of his overcoat. He nodded.
"As ready as any knight could be, your highness," he smiled.
"On three. One.. Two... Three!" As she commanded, Finn kicked down the surprisingly flimsy door.
"Who are you and how dare you charge into my chamber?" The Ice King yelled.
"FINN! Oh how I've missed you!" He heard Jake yell. In order to save Jake, he had to hide the fact that he couldn't fight with the incredibly heavy sword, let alone kill someone with it. He had to seem as intimidating as possible, so he made sure to lock in mad eye-contact with Ice King as he yelled, "We've come to rescue Jake the Dog from underneath your tyranny and end the misery of The Icing Era!" Finn made sure to use big words to sound intellectual.
"What makes you think he wants to leave? What if he wants to stay and be my friend?" Ice King shouted again.
"I don't want to be your friend, you psycho!" Jake yelled from behind him, who appeared to be encased in a block of ice.
"How can you say that to your new best friend? I should kill you now!" he growled as he levitated. The Ice King turned to face Jake.
"Hey get back here and fight ME! Umm... Princess? I need some backup here!" Finn shouted over his shoulder.
The Princess entered her TARDIS, scanning the room for the Martian Transporter. She bent down to look underneath her console to spot it. Ah-ha, there it was! "I'm coming!" she shouted back as she attempted to drag the Martian Transporter from the stairs that led up to the console room. Oh why of all times did she forget to install wheels onto the bottom of this primitive dingy dongy of Martian technology? And even if she had, she didn't have a ramp to wheel said object! This place is overdue for a makeover. It hadn't been remodeled since her fifth regeneration.
"Finn, I need you to kick his butt! Promise me, buddy! Do it for me!" Jake shouted before Ice King froze his head.
"NOOOOOO!" Finn screamed. He threw the gold sword as hard as he could and hit Ice King in the back, not leaving a single scratch. Ice King turned back and flew over to Finn.
"You fool! Don't you know I'm invincible? I have flippin' magical ice powers, for poop's sake! You think you can defeat me? Do you, pauper? Go ahead. Bringeth thou best shot, bro," he dared. He was in such close proximity to his face that Ice King was nose to lack-of-nose with Finn.
Finn stared hard at him as he reached into his breast pocket. Ice King watched him as he spritzed the perfume bottle in his face.
"Oh, and what exactly doezzz..." Ice King fell over. His muscles looked very tensed up and his body was curled unnaturally. But contrary to what the Princess had described, his eyes didn't look drowsy. They kind of looked panicked. Like they were screaming, in fact.
"Princess? Where are you?" He shouted again. He looked at the wardrobe to see the door open. She struggled to move the Martian transporter.
"What are you doing with that thing? What's happening to Ice King?" He asked as he helped her lift the other side of the transporter.
"With your help, I'll attach Ice King to the transporter. I wasn't quite being honest with you. The spray I told you to use isn't going to make him sleepy. It's going to paralyze him, squeezing the tissues of his muscles together, causing his ligaments to pull his body to curl into itself. His central nervous system is still intact so he remains conscious and completely aware," explained the Princess, her voice lilted she said the word "squeezing".
"Umm, it looks like he's in pain," Finn said.
"Well, technically it's not causing him any pain. The spray I gave you is a variant of the narkozic alkaloid opilum poppius, that I made to cause the subject to hallucinate, specifically to imagine physical pain where there is none."
"Princess..." Something didn't feel right.
"Yes?" She mused as she dragged Ice King's paralyzed body to the transporter. She pulled the flashlight from her cleavage and turned on the Martian transporter. It locked onto Ice King's wrists, just like it did his. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head when it started shocking him.
"Princess! What are you doing to him?"
"I'm punishing his selfishness. He has kidnapped and frozen your best friend, and he's mentally unstable- psychotic and homicidal- he would have killed you if we gave him the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure this is also what Jake would have wanted."
"This is wrong! You're wrong and you know it! You can't kill him! Especially not like this! You have no idea what it feels like!" Finn argued. He felt sad and confused. He had judged her wrong. She had used her power to be cruel, not kind. She had lied to him in order to get him to do her dirty deed. She was just another adult lording her power over him.
She rushed up to Finn and glared at him in resentment. "How dare you, of all people say that to me?
"I thought you were a benevolent and selfless creature. But because you have this TARDIS power, you feel entitled to manipulate and abuse people to do what YOU want. Did you honestly just ask me, 'How dare you'? You're the one ending someone's life, Princess. I thought you wanted to save people, not torture them." He couldn't bring himself to sound angry, just overwhelmingly disappointed. She stopped glaring. The anger seemed to melt away from her face. All that was left was bitterness.
The Princess felt like she could dissolve into melted sugar, right on the spot. He was a naïve boy who didn't understand how the world worked. She had been alive for almost 200 years, and he was only alive for thirteen. But he was right about her sense of entitlement. She had spent over a century and a half trying to humble herself, taking jobs that served people. Working in factories, living with commoners, filling her hours with errands. She was trying her best to be a good person. Why else would she chosen to be a detective this time around? This way she was solving crimes, protecting creatures from psychotic killers like the Ice King. She was doing this world a justice. Finn just couldn't see it yet. He tried to reason, but no one could change her mind. Sometimes the tone of justice was either black or white. There was no gray.
But then, a wake up call arrived. The Princess turned to see her coming through the door of her pink wardrobe. Then the voice of what seemed to be a fallen angel called to her.
"Hello, Bonnibel," the voice rang, like an alarm clanging, banging on her eardrums.