, The Art Of Seduction (Avengers Style)
So, I have a huge English essay due on Monday, and instead of doing it tonight, I decided to go watch the Avengers for the third time, this time with my Dad. I decided since my last two Fics were very dark, I'll try some Comedy this time. Inspired by the tumblr avengerpickuplines. And the owner of that. I used this to come up with my Oneshot/list of Oneshots I will call, The Art Of Seduction (Avengers Style)
"Come on Steve! You're Captain fricken America for gods sake! If you like the girl, then just go up to her!" Tony exclaimed, irritated.
It had been almost three months since Loki's attack on earth, and five of the six Avengers (Thor was on Asgard) were in a small, upbeat New York Club less than three miles from Stark Tower, which was almost completely rebuilt. Tony thought, in celebration of the rebuilding, the five should go clubbing. Clint and Natasha quickly excepted the invitation, wanted to see how Steve would react in one of the fanciest clubs in New York. Steve and Bruce were more reluctant, and Bruce tried to convince Tony that he would 'Hulk out' if he got to nervous, but Tony wouldn't have it. So here they were, in a crowded club sitting at one of the only tables, trying to convince Steve to talk to the girl he had been staring at the whole night.
"What's the worst that could happen?" Natasha asked helpfully, trying to contain her giggles. The woman Steve had his eye on, was the bartender, who she had bet ten dollars against Clint, was a lesbian. Natasha had spent many years seducing anyone she could to get what she wanted, and her 'gaydar' was razor sharp.
"She could reject me." Steve snapped back, angrily. Which startled Natasha, he hadn't seemed this intense before.
"Listen, Capsicle," Tony said in an attempt to calm the obviously nervous Captain, "How about I give you a pick up line and you say it to her?"
"A, what?" Steve asked, confused.
"A pick up line, It's something guys use to flirt with a girl they like. I've got a really good one, it suits you perfectly." Tony said smiling, writing something on his napkin and handing it to Steve, who reluctantly picked it up and read it, then blushed.
"I can't say that to a dame! It's scandalous!" He said, horrified and almost attacked Clint when he ripped it out of his hands.
"No it's not. This is the calmest thing ever. Say it, it's totally you!" Clint cried excitedly, only wanted this to work so he wouldn't have to give his money to Natasha
"Alright," Steve said reluctantly, and got up walking towards the bar. Then, cleared his throat and called, "Excuse me? Ma'am? I was just wondering, on a scale of one to America, how free are you this week-end?"