Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or any of Mrs. Meyer's/Summit Entertainment's literary/visual content.

This is the first chapter (obviously) of a tribute to Jacob and Renesmee. If you all like it, I will promptly post the other chapters.

Please read and review.

I stared at the huge flat screen in the living room of my grandparents' home. Seth and Jake had been playing some stupid new videogame religiously for days now and it was about to drive me to the brink of insanity. What they saw in the thoughtless slaughter of virtual zombies was beyond me. There were plenty of problems to deal with as it was, why add more? Seth started yelling then, so I assumed I had missed some key part of the game play.

"What happened?" I asked, bored, as Seth leaped up from the sofa, nearly knocking a can of soda to the floor.

"I just beat his all time record with 3,987 zombies dead in one mission!"

Jake rolled is eyes at me as if to say I let him beat me. I noticed the way Jake's hair fell in his eyes when he tilted his head like that, and how the sun coming in from the window made his eyes glow. I inwardly scolded myself and went back to watching Seth dance around the room.

The last couple months I had begun to notice a lot of things about Jake that I hadn't even thought of before. Like how the muscles in his arms moved when he was running, or how he almost always went barefoot when he had a choice, or how he wore his jeans low on hips and when he went shirtless how hot his chest was. Not that I had gotten into a habit of staring at his chest or anything…

Anyway, he would never notice anything special about me. Yeah, we've been friends since I was born, but I was absolutely positive that that's all we were gonna be. Ever. And it sucked. Not because I liked Jake, or anything. Just because I like to keep my options open. When he heard my name he probably thought about how much of a freak I am. How I subtly sparkle in the sun. Not like Mom and Dad, but the look of embedded diamonds was still there. It was sorta pretty, but that was probably just me and my twisted way of seeing things. I tended to see things differently than most people 99.9% of the time.

Jake got up then, hauling Seth to the kitchen. I stood and followed, hoping Auntie Alice would show up soon. Alice, Jasper, Rose, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle, Mom, and Dad had all gone to Port Angeles for something so that left Seth, Jake, Leah, and me home alone. Woohoo…

It wasn't like Leah was straight-up rude to me, but we've never been on the best of terms. Momma and she have gotten slightly closer over the last couple years, but that's about as much progress as she seems to be capable of, socially. She really was pretty, when you thought about it, but it was the kind of tomboy/badass pretty that typically discouraged people from talking to her. I had heard that once she and Sam, the leader of the La Push pack, had been a thing, but that was ancient history since Sam was practically married to Emily.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for her sometimes, since her boyfriend had dumped her, her dad had died, and her brother had gone to the "dark" side(with the vamps) all in a relatively short period of time. On top of that she was a werewolf and a genetic dead end. I was a genetic dead end too, I suppose, but the idea doesn't really bother me. And yes, even though I'm only a couple years old doesn't mean I haven't thought about it. My body ages so much quicker than a human's, that I have the physical appearance of a fifteen of sixteen year old and the mental capacity of a thirty year old.

I sighed impatiently as the two boys started shoving sandwiches by the dozens into their mouths and turned to head back to the living room. As I passed one of the multiple bookshelves, one book in particular caught my eye. The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand. It was one of my very favorite books. Esme had given it to me on my "second" birthday (I had looked more like a nine year old than a toddler) and I had fallen in love with it instantly. Books were one of my passions. The way the covers felt in my hands, the way the binder smelled as I opened it for the first time. It was one of those indescribably wonderful things, like the way I felt when Jake held my hand.

We, Jake and I, aren't together, but we hold hands sometimes anyway. For some reason though, lately Jake had been giving me more space than was completely necessary. Almost like he didn't want to be so close to me. Not that it hurt or anything. I could care less about whether or not he wanted to sit next to me on the couch, or drive me down to La Push to go cliff diving. It didn't matter that we hadn't been on a picnic in forever, or that he rarely came and got me in the mornings like he used to, tapping on the window of my bedroom till I got up.

I had a feeling that my parents had something to do with it, but I couldn't quite place it. Whatever had changed had obviously disoriented him. I noticed him staring off into space much more than he used to. Probably too often than was to be considered healthy. Seth had claimed to know nothing when I had asked what was up with Jake several weeks ago, so he obviously wasn't gonna tell.

As I laid the heavy book back in its place on the shelf, I suddenly thought that maybe Leah had something to do with Jake acting distant. After all, she was several years older than me, surely a hell of a lot prettier, and her aggressive attitude probably appealed to him; with her hair in a sexy bob and her big eyes, not to mention they had so much in common. It surprised me that I had never, even for one instant considered this. That all these months, when Jake was staring off into space, and I was hoping he was thinking about me, he had most likely been picturing what they could be together. It had always baffled me as to why he would stay out all night running with the pack, when there was obviously no present danger. It had been so he could stay close to Leah. Leah, with her incredibly perfect legs and her ability to turn into a wolf-like creature.

I wasn't really sure why I was struck with a sudden and violent mix of emotions. I felt ready to collapse on the spot, heavy and cumbersome. While another part of me flared with…anger? Resentment? I had no right to resent Leah when she had never done anything to hurt me. She wasn't the friendliest person, but she had never been spiteful to me. What I resented her for, I had no clue. After all, since Jake didn't mean anything to me anyway, it wouldn't matter whether he wanted to be with Leah or not. Whether he wanted to drive her down to La Push, and take her on picnics, or just hang out with her. None of that mattered to me. Not one little tiny bit.

And then I was running. I couldn't run as fast as the others, but I ran fast enough that Jake had to shift forms to keep up for any length of time. I dashed through the front doors, out onto the green of our lawn. I headed towards the river, in the direction of the faint gushing noises. My hair whipped behind me in painful snags as I pelted over the floor of roots and moss covered rocks. Green engulfed my entire sense of sight as I ducked under tree limbs and skidded past shrubs.

The river came in to view as the minutes ticked by. The rushing sound of the water engulfed my sensitive ears and as I neared the water's edge I plunged headfirst into the cold Sol Duc River. Foot after icy foot of the cold bleakness surrounded me and I felt strangely happy. Then, as my lungs began to burn with the need for oxygen, I pushed myself back towards the surface.

I took deep breaths as I resurfaced and propelled myself in the direction of the far bank. Dragging myself out, I flopped down on the grass and sighed. The sun beat down warmly, and I pulled my shirt off to dry. Laying my head back I closed my eyes and thought of everything except Jake and Leah. I thought about my room full of books at the cottage. I imagined the tiny living space with the fireplace and the odd arrangement of furniture, my favorite being the ottoman, I had grown up loving. I thought about the intricate mosaic tiles on the walls and the pretty arches above the doorways. The low beams that you could carelessly knock your head on, and the expanse of trees that stood outside.

I thought about Charlie. About how Sue had taken over the management of his meals, and the way he smiled at her when they were together. I thought about my first real Christmas, and how excited I was to help him decorate the tree we erected in his home. The cookies we had made and the hours of Jin Rummy we had spent playing.

Soon my thoughts began to run together in a blur of color and emotion. The last semi-coherent thought I remember having before I fell asleep was the image of Jake's face. Beautiful and full of laughter, his hair falling in his eyes the way it always did when he shook his head.

I do hope you enjoyed it.

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