Ashes.

Still warm, slightly smoking, thin tendrils of gray curling into the air. Small flickers of red flames that haven't quite died out yet. Approximately three feet away, a jagged piece of wood sticking out of the ground -five grooves across, three splinters peeling on the left and a crooked slash on the right. Courtesy of a nice set of metal gauntlets, no doubt. A few embers glow brightly between the cracks, burning and not-quite-burning all at once.

Inhale, exhale.

Sulfur and carbon monoxide and god-knows-what-else mixed together in the toxic air.

The familiar scene of destruction is sickening -how many times has it been already? How many times of waking up to these exact same ruins, each time hoping it to be the last?

And how many times waking up to it again?

It was always the same goddamned outcome.

Every.

Single.

Time.

…

I crack open an eye as a breeze brushed past, scattering a thousand and a million red sparks into the evening's blood-streaked sky.

It... hurts.

I'm not just referring to the physical pain here -it's not just the feeling of having splintered wood embedded so deeply in your back that it always aches when it rains, not just the feeling of glass shards biting into and permanently scarring your arms or that heavy framework of what used to be a set of sliding doors crushing your leg. There's also that ghostly echo of a clawed hand digging into your chest, ripping through flesh and bone alike with evident ease, reaching in and closing around your heart and squeezing-

I suck in a sharp, shuddering breath.

Breathe.

Inhale, exhale.

… It hurts.

A lot.

And the pain isn't all from that fatal wound, either.

It's the memories -memories of friends and comrades and family that I failed to save despite knowing the trials to come. Knowing, but still helpless to save them from their doom.

Again and again and again.

… Oh gods, how long has it been since then? How long has it been since the first time I had first failed –and continued failing, time and time again, to save them? Failing to save my family? Failing to save the people I cared for, because of being too weak, always–

(There's only so many times that you can live and laugh and fight with the same people before they begin to grow on you. There's only so many times that you can watch them die -again and again, right in front of your eyes, unable to do anything but look on helplessly- before you become determined to grow stronger in order to save them, and suddenly it's not just because it's a task that's been forced upon you anymore. It's because these people who care for you and help you are family. Family.)

It hurts.

It hurts inside much more than it does on the outside, so much that it's almost… unbearable.

But I'd promised to myself that I'd bear it.

I'd sworn to myself that I'd bear the pain -no matter how many times it occurred, no matter how many times they wouldn't remember what we'd shared and I had to start from the beginning again, no matter how many times I had to repeat this ungodly pain all over again- because I had to save them.

Somehow.

Someway.

… Someday.

Onwards Till Dawn

01: "Reset, Restart, Replay"

[This is a collaboration project by XxZuiliu and XxZuiyun.]

Japan.

To be more precise, Namimori.

Part of me dreaded coming back to this place just as much as I looked forward to the moment. Namimori was where everything had truly started, after all. Of course, none of them would know, and none of them would ever see this town the way I did –I hated Namimori just as much as I loved it; and wasn't that a strange feeling to have about a place? Wasn't it such a strange feeling to feel for a place that brought back so many fond, nostalgic memories just as it did the bitter pain?

Dilly-dally, shilly-shally.

… Maybe a small detour would be in order before I made my way to Tsuna's house? It had been awhile since I last saw Namimori good and whole, anyways, and surely there was no harm in wandering around the neighborhood for a bit.

Over there –that's the park. Lambo wanted some grape soda from that vending machine, and we all ended up getting some kind of beverage that day. Mukuro was pissed when Fran gave him a pineapple-flavored one. Then we found out that the machine didn't have enough sodas to go around, and the scuffle that ensued became the stuff of legends in the Vongola rumor mill.

There's that dress shop –I distinctly remember Kyoko and Haru dragging me along that one time when I'd been particularly depressed from another failure. That was the first time I'd seen them die before me, and that was when I truly realized the price of my failures. I'd only wore the dress once –the boys didn't seem to be able to reconcile the image of me in a girly dress with the image of me shouting down Squalo.

And there, that's the barbeque place. Of course the food there doesn't match up to the sushi that Takeshi's dad makes, but Tsuna had suggested we eat barbeque that time, and Hayato threatened to blow up anyone who didn't agree. Lambo had disagreed anyways, wanting to go to the candy store down the street –then Ryohei saw a pair of boxing gloves on sale, and Chrome was running late, anyways– and we ended up eating instant ramen noodles again for lunch.

The roof of Namimori's only aquarium. Nana had taken the kids out to play, and somehow the entire gang was tagging along… Mukuro decided to amuse himself by casting illusions on everyone and everything in the dark aquarium, and people were either scarred for life or discovered an inclination towards horror films. Kyoya thought it was too crowded, and went to the rooftop instead. I remembered going with him and trying to teach Hibird to sing a few lines from Phantom of the Opera, but the little bird only carried the tune of Namimori Middle's school song…

Ah. There's the school.

Unbidden, my feet came to a stop in front of Namimori Middle.

The first time, I enrolled as a student here. Befriending Tsuna right away, right before all the madness started… helping him build confidence, being there in his life every step of the way, watching him gather his Guardians…

A soft sigh escaped my lips.

Oh, what I wouldn't give to have those days back again. We were all so innocent back then… no.

That's not quite it, right? Now… they still are innocent, aren't they?

I'm the only one who's changed.

… It probably wasn't very healthy to get lost in memories like this, but… even if they no longer existed, even if the individuals I'd laughed and cried and fought and bled with were no longer here anymore… I didn't want to forget them. Any of them.

A Tsuna who liked books and was smart, but was so shy to the point of blushing if anyone so much as stared at him for a second too long. A Tsuna who liked cooking and could make meals even better than Nana herself. A Tsuna who liked gardening, and had a green thumb that could make anything grow.

There was also a Hayato who wasn't a brilliant pianist, but a violinist. A Hayato who liked reading cheesy romance novels, though he fervently denied any possession of such material. A Hayato who couldn't swim for his life, but dove into the lake without a second thought when Tsuna almost drowned on a Reborn-induced incident in a summer trip to the water's edge.

I remember a Takeshi who chose soccer over baseball. A Takeshi who liked to fish on the weekends, a habit he never broke off until he was dragged into the 'mafia game' and spent every spare second training as much as he could. A Takeshi who hated milk, but would happily drink any combination of fruit juices. I think that Takeshi got along famously with Lambo.

Lambo. A Lambo who liked cherries instead of grapes, and made a sport of spitting out the cherry pits at anyone who annoyed him –man, I lost track of how many times Reborn almost killed him just for that alone. And then there was a Lambo who liked drawing, who could throw poisoned markers with pinpoint accuracy. And also a Lambo who was scared of thunderstorms and cried much more easily, who was teased and bullied endlessly by a surprisingly aggressive I-pin.

Ryohei. A Ryohei who practiced judo, not boxing. And then a Ryohei whose dream was to build the most extreme robot ever –now that took some time to get used to. A Ryohei who liked collecting stamps, and gathered a gigantic collection with over 1000 stamps, each one holding a story of its own of how he'd acquired it.

Mukuro, and Chrome. A Mukuro who liked classical music, and a Chrome who played the cello. A Mukuro who liked pineapples, and a Chrome who was fond of strawberries. A Mukuro who enjoyed watching the ocean tides, and a Chrome who wanted to run with the wind. Mukuro, and Chrome, who always ended up spending their lives together…

And Kyoya. Kyoya…

My body moved on pure instinct.

Twisting to the side as I took a single step backwards, hand automatically rising to the sword at my hip- before letting it fall again, after my mind had finally processed just who it was that had attacked me.

A familiar silver tonfa had shattered the ground where I stood less than a second ago.

"It's against Namimori's rules to trespass during school hours, herbivore."

Kyoya. Inexperienced, young, alive. Just as the others were.

A Kyoya who liked drinking tea. A Kyoya who enjoyed napping under the afternoon sun. A Kyoya who liked to gaze at the wild clouds in the sky. A Kyoya who-

… I'd lingered too long.

"Ah, sorry about that," I flashed a quick smile at the Disciplinary Head standing in front of me, inwardly berating myself. How could I have let myself get so distracted? "Um, I didn't mean to crowd here. I'll just get going now, ne?"

A Kyoya lying on the ground, defeated, but still struggling to stand –even as the monster laughed, grinding its heel and crushing his throat.

The back of my neck prickled as I turned to leave.

Shifting to the side again, watching as the tonfa grazed the flaps of my jacket –I belatedly remembered a very important rule. No turning your back on Kyoya.

At least, not when it seems like he's in the mood for a fight.

Kyoya had liked fighting so much –correction, Kyoya liked fighting, liked it so much that it was nigh impossible for him to not seek out new opponents every day. Maybe it was in his blood? It wasn't just the thrill of battle that always had him seeking more of it –Kyoya liked challenges. He didn't just like fighting; he liked fighting strong opponents.

… At the moment, I certainly qualified as a strong opponent.

Sadly.

"Violators of Namimori's rules will be bitten to death." A dangerous smirk curled on his lips and he darted forward, tonfas flashing.

Two steps back, I smoothly dodged the powerful swings. Lifting up a foot, let the sweep of his legs miss my ankle. Jump when he smashed the tonfas down, and twist when he aimed them at my torso.

Even at such a young age, Kyoya was much better than most hitmen –something I never failed to marvel at.

Duck under that blow, jump back. Spin, and let him hit that brick wall. Sorry, Mr. Wall.

A Kyoya whose skull was crushed and his body mutilated, so much that it was only the presence of Hibird that allowed me to identify his body.

Slide behind a lamppost, letting the tonfa crash against it instead.

A Kyoya who was decapitated, his blood splattering everywhere.

Slight stagger as I almost tripped, but I caught myself just in time to dodge another blow.

A Kyoya who died as he had lived, fighting and taking down an entire legion of monsters with him.

"I don't suppose I could get back to you on this some other time?" I asked, doing my best to keep my tone light. A quick spin to the right, and a broken arm was successfully avoided.

Kyoya wasn't listening.

I truly did have far more pressing concerns at the moment. Like finding Reborn, and explaining to him what the hell a freelance assassin was doing in Namimori before he decided to shoot me in the back of the head. It wasn't a pleasant sensation, much as I understood his excessive paranoia in dealing with unknown elements, all part of his desire to keep his student safe.

"Hn." There was a gleam in Kyoya's eyes when I dodged another of his blows. Throughout the entire exchange, I'd only been dodging, moving just enough to let his attacks swing by harmlessly, but not making a single motion to draw the sword at my side. It was clear what he wanted me to do –adjusting his movements so that they were just a little stronger, a little faster, enough to pressure me into drawing my weapon-

I couldn't do it.

I didn't think I'd ever be able to raise my sword against them.

"Look, getting attacked for standing too long in front of a building is interesting and all-" I drawled, adding a trace of sarcasm into my words as I ducked again. "-but I really, really need to get going right now."

He's not listening.

Kyoya, sometimes I really hate the fact that you're so stubborn. But… it's the one thing about you that never changes. I guess this is just part of who you are, huh?

I dropped into a crouch, deliberately letting my hand grip the hilt of my sword, watching as his smirk widened in anticipation-

-and disappeared.

Sorry, Kyoya, but I really don't feel like getting killed by Reborn again. I'm definitely going to find a way to get through this mess one way or another; a future that won't result in our deaths.

That's a promise.

"… Ne, Tsubaki?"

"Hm?"

"I know it sounds kinda weird, but… y'know, I always thought you looked kinda familiar from the first moment I saw you. It's not really Hyper Intuition or anything, but… sometimes, I can't help but wonder. Did I use to know you from somewhere else? Y'know, before Reborn came to Namimori and all?"

A small, sheepish laugh from the brunet whose heart was wider than the sky.

I couldn't tell him.

"… No. Stop imagining things, Tsuna. Although, if you wanted to profess your undying love for me, Kyoko will be very disappointed…"

"Ack! N-no, no! That's not what I meant! Tsubaki, what are you –Tsubaki! S-stop laughing at me!"

…

"Tsubaki?"

…

"E-eh? Tsubaki, did I say something wrong? Why are you crying?"

…

"… Tsubaki?"

…

Deep breaths.

In, out.

It's not the first time doing this –but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Looking up from where I was staring longingly at the cup of green tea, I forced a smile onto my face and bowed. The position was held long enough so that it was enough to signify proper deference and respect, but not so long as to show subservience –much as I considered myself a part of his Family already.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Vongola Decimo."

"Hiiie!" I sneaked a glance at him. Tsuna. There was a small blush on his cheeks –flustered embarrassment, nervous panic. This was a Tsuna who hadn't learned to be a Boss yet. "W- who are you? What in the world's going on?"

To his right, Hayato was frowning, pushing Tsuna behind him and immediately whipping out several sticks of dynamite, which he brandished at me.

"Stand back, Juudaime! She's an assassin!"

"Hiiie!?"

"An assassin who was let in through the front doors by Reborn," I tried not to let any of the fondness show in my smile –Hayato had always been protective of Tsuna; a trait that never, ever changed. "Gokudera, relax. I'm not here to kill anyone. Yet."

Probably shouldn't have amended that last sentence, but hey –it was the truth, and even though it was akin to twisting knives in my heart, it wouldn't do to act too familiar with them yet. For the sake of appearances, and for appeasing a certain hitman's suspicions.

"Stand down, Gokudera." I blinked in surprise, turning to look at Reborn. Speak of the devil. The baby-who-wasn't-really-a-baby took a sip of coffee from his cup before continuing, "I'm the one who called her here."

Now that was a blatant lie. It was a testament to my self-control that I didn't react to his claim –not that I called him out on it, though.

On the other hand, I watched as the silver-haired bomber's jaw dropped. "She's an assassin!"

"So are you."

Hayato's mouth snapped shut with an audible click at that deadpan, and Takeshi laughed.

"Nice to meet you!" He smiled cheerily at me, "Are you part of the mafia game, too?"

Mafia game. Two innocuous little words, and I couldn't decide if I wanted to laugh or cry. Because this was so Takeshi, and-

Control.

Control yourself.

I settled on neither reaction.

"Yeah, I guess I am." I returned the easygoing smile, watching from the corner of my eyes as Hayato sputtered indignantly ("Game? Game? C'mon, you're a professional assassin, for crying out loud!"). "It's what I'm here for, after all."

"Ahh." Takeshi grinned, ever-oblivious. For the moment, that is. "So are you joining Tsuna's team, too?"

And here was the crux of the question.

Reborn would've looked at my profile the moment I set foot in Namimori. All things, considered, I was damn good at my 'other' job –living so many lives that were all heavily intertwined with the mafia, I couldn't not be good at fighting and killing. Working as an assassin in the scant few years before Reborn was assigned to tutor Tsuna was good for sharpening my skills, and getting used to fighting in a younger body again.

I needed to be as strong as I could to face the trials ahead.

"Nah, I'm just chasing a hit." Relaxed poise, even tone. Don't give Reborn any reason to believe that you're lying. "One of my contacts told me he'd be in Namimori soon, so I'm going to wait and ambush him."

Here I heard another of Tsuna's horrified 'hiiie!'s in the background.

"Although, I didn't know that Namimori was Vongola territory." I remarked dryly after my pause, allowing the brunet the chance to scrape together his tattered dignity, "Anyways, I already hashed it out with Reborn earlier; one favor from me to the person in charge of this place, and I'm allowed to hunt here."

I paused for a moment, before directing my gaze from Takeshi to Tsuna.

Tsuna.

"So, Sawada." My voice was hard, blunt. Everything it should be from a freelance assassin thrown into my position, and everything but what I was truly feeling at the moment. "My name is Tsubaki. I'm here to let you know I owe you a favor, and you're free to collect on it anytime."

It wasn't completely a lie.

I was on a mission –some information broker who pissed off the wrong Mafioso was planning to escape to Namimori sometime this month, and I was to bring in his head. Owing favors just to complete a mission, though? Any decent bounty hunter or assassin would call me crazy.

Favors weren't dealt out lightly in the mafia world.

I'd stressed to Reborn earlier this afternoon that it was only because I had a reputation to uphold –no matter what mission it is, rest assured that it will always, always be completed; and how was I to know that the Vongola Decimo was being trained here?. It might've been because I was as young as Tsuna that he felt the reason was plausible. I was still a child, young and impressionable; it made sense that I'd still hold some notion of honor. It probably helped that I was one of the more talented up-and-coming assassins of the next generation, too.

Having freelance assassins who couldn't be tracked to any Famiglia owe you a favor or two was never a bad thing, after all.

Downright useful in the right situations, really.

"… Well… that's it." I stood up from my seat at the table, tea untouched. Which was a shame –Nana made the best tea, but any assassin with the faintest shred of self-preservation would know better than to drink anything offered to them by someone they technically didn't trust. "Don't be surprised if you see me wandering around town."

Halfway across the living room, ignoring the eyes boring holes into my back and breathing an inward sigh of relief that I'd made it through without botching this up (those results were never pretty), Reborn's voice suddenly sounded again.

"A good Boss always sees his guests to the door, Dame-Tsuna."

So here we were, standing on the porch awkwardly. Tsuna's eyes kept darting to the ground, and Hayato was scowling at me. Takeshi still had a friendly grin on his face, though, so that had to count for something, right?

Tsuna is scared of me. He's scared of the assassin that suddenly barged into his life, even if I told him that I owe him a favor. He doesn't have an understanding of how the mafia operates –and even without a favor, I'd never hurt him.

He doesn't know that, though.

But that's okay. He doesn't need to. None of them need to, really.

I just need to keep them safe. That's the only thing that matters.

.

…

.

Author's Notes:

Hi all.

So, a couple of points to hit.

First, I'm still not up for any heavy writing yet. I only have one week of break, and "Polaris" will be updated if I can spare the time to write like crazy on it, since most of my attention will be focused on this story right now. "Onwards Till Dawn" is a joint effort between me and my good friend, XxZuiyun, which means that there are two authors for this story. In other words: it's possible that we might argue over the direction of the story since we haven't agreed completely on the plotline yet, so there might be a few delays. Also, drafts will go back and forth between us before they're finally posted –don't be surprised if updates are late!

Second, in case it's not obvious yet: the OC in this story has been reborn multiple times into the KHR-verse. So, OCTsubaki was given the task to save Tsuna & co. (details of which will be unveiled later on in the story) but she kept failing, and as a result was reincarnated repeatedly to fix things. She's stuck in a loop; until she "saves" Tsuna & co., she'll keep being reborn over and over again. Maybe she'll finally get lucky this time, yeah?

Third, we admit the influence of colbub's "My Heavenly Judgment." (Which I highly recommend to anyone looking for a SI OC fic to read in the KHR archives.) Other than the OC being reincarnated into KHR world after dying and given a mission to complete, I can't think of any similarities there are between our stories off the top of my head –so things are going to be different for the most part. Probably. I'd have to read the story again to make sure, but I'm pretty sure we're not ripping off any original plot from "My Heavenly Judgment."

Fourth, this fic will probably be containing some dark elements. The manga is mostly lighthearted and humorous, but it's the mafia –if you're looking for crack in this story, then look somewhere else. Consider yourselves warned.

Please remember to tell us what you think about this story! Constructive criticism is always appreciated and we will do our best to fix any errors that need fixing. Please don't hesitate to tell us what you see wrong and what improvements you think should be made to the writing. :D

QUESTION: What KHR character do you look forward most to seeing OCTsubaki interact with in the next chapter? Any reasons why?

Till next time,

XxZuiliu