My entry for Young Justice Headcanon Challenge. Based on headcanon 153.
M'gann gets glimpses of thought sometimes when she establishes the mental link. Once, after their break-up, when she linked with Conner, she felt briefly all he still felt for her. She pretended it never happened.
Occasionally M'gann would catch a glimpse of Conner's thoughts, thoughts of her; of them. Occasionally Conner's glance would linger on her too long, so she could feel his eyes on her. Occasionally she could sense jealousy oozing from Conner when she was with La'gann. She had long since learned to ignore all of these occasions; reading too deeply into these small occurrences, and what they meant would just lead to thoughts that hurt her heart too much.
Like memories of Conner's glances turning into gazes. Long, unabashed gazes that were filled with the love and desire that she reveled in, sometimes returning them, sometimes just relishing in the knowledge that his stare held so much and was directed only at her.
She remembered the look on his face that day, it held none of the adoration she had become accustomed to. Just a steely stare looking far above her head, as if he couldn't be bothered to look at her. His voice just as hard.
Not at all like the voice he used when they were alone; a low, soft murmur that felt like a caress against her skin. They were so rarely alone but, most nights he would sneak into her room in the middle of the night; although now that she thinks of it she doesn't know who they were hiding from.
He would enter silently and ease his way under her covers, trying not to wake her; he always did. They would face each other in the black- brown darkness, their breath fanning each others faces, mingling between them, whispering to each other in hushed, intimate voices. About his dreams, about her home, about how much they loved each other; until they fell asleep.
When she managed to stay awake, she would take in his features, memorizing the planes of his peaceful face, a rare beautiful sight. He always held her, even asleep, the lightest touch; an arm draped across her waist, their feet entwined, or just his hand gingerly holding hers.
He kept his distance that day, as far away from her as he'd ever been since he first kissed her. His arms crossed and uncomfortable, as if acting out some sort of role he felt awkward in. She could tell he felt strange, she saw it in his body language, written all over his face, without having to reach into his mind and read his thoughts.
The tender feeling of his mind reaching out to hers, felt like acceptance to her, she wasn't so strange, so alone if he reached out to her that way. He had become so comfortable that their minds were always open to each other, speaking privately when others were around.
Sometimes about important things, like during a mission, watching each others back. But sometimes just to remind her how much she mattered, even if he rarely said the words; he didn't have to, they radiated off him in waves.
She otherwise ignored anything she heard from his mind now. She reasoned that it was no longer her place, but she admits, only to herself, that she's scared of what she'll find.
She's not sure which is worse; thinking that he didn't love her anymore, or finding that he did, but left her anyways. Even knowing now, she doesn't address it, continuing to speak to him only for missions.
She worries about him, though she works hard to disguise it; and act as apathetic as possible. But, anger seethes off him now, so much so that she can't ignore it. Sadness too, in a way that wasn't there, even at his worst.
She had seen him at his worst; blind with rage and frustration, distrustful and underneath it all, afraid. Afraid he wasn't good enough to grow beyond the weapon he was created to be. But, she knew him at his best too; working with their team like clockwork, learning about things he hadn't seen before, happy with her.
She had been happy too, surpassing anything she could have imagined on Mars. Her Team, her friends, her Superboy, her Conner. Even from the start she knew, knew that he could be more, that they could be more together. More than the clone and the alien amongst aliens; and they were.
Until he looked down at her harshly in her bedroom, the door closed. Said those awful words and stormed gruffly out. She cried all night, didn't sleep, feebly hoping he would slip through the door, telling her it was all a horrible hallucination, whisper 'I love you' so they could fall asleep together. He didn't.
Eventually she gained hindsight, not enough for the memories not to hurt. But enough to idly wonder if they hadn't always been headed for that day, a collision course to disaster. If when she had looked past his anger and hostility to see how wonderful he could be, she hadn't been tempting fate. She always concluded 'no'
She knows that she loves him, as he does her, that they were strong in their love and strong with each other. That they grew more than they could have with anyone else. They were each others student, teacher, lover and best friend.
She wonders if she should confront him about what she hears, but she decides against it. Because even when she's with La'gann, when she has to ignore his stares and his strong sadness; she knows it was worth it.
I feel like this got seriously out of hand and just morphed into a drabble of all my SuperMartian feels. Even so I hope this fulfills the prompt and that somebody might have enjoyed it.