Italic for Brittany.
Bold for Santana. And normal for Quinn.
She doesn't love you the way you love her.
She doesn't need you, not like that.
She needs Quinn.
And you hate her for that.
XXXXXX
You know very well that Quinn loves Brittany, you can see it in her eyes.
You've watched Quinn from afar for years, and it just hurts to know she's loved Brittany for all of those.
You're just a toy to Quinn, just a puppet on strings.
Quinn just wants to hurt you.
But when she kisses you, it feels too good.
It erases any doubt you feel for her.
But you have Brittany and Quinn.
So in the end, maybe you're the winner.
XXXXXXX
Brittany isn't as stupid as others may think she is.
She knows people better then anyone you've ever met, and she just sees everything in a different light.
She sees Santana as a bright sparkling star, and she sees you as...
She sees you as a worthless human.
When you find this out, you're hurt and angry.
Hurt that she will never love you.
Angry that Santana is using Brittany.
So you have to redeem the pretty blonde, you have to.
You test how far you can go with Santana, you kiss her and she's at your feet.
Not literally.
She'll do anything for you. The blonde of her dreams.
And you'll do anything for Brittany. Even if that means hurting Santana.
But after a while, you notice that Santana is pulling away.
That she's noticed that you don't love her, and never have.
And you're not done turning her into a lifeless heartbroken husk yet so that can't happen.
You kiss her, hug her, make love to her.
But she's still seperating herself.
It's only when you realize that you may have lost your best friend, that you realize how much she cared for you.
XXXXXXX
Santana later tells you that you can't do this anymore, that she's in love with Quinn.
Not like you haven't known it.
She begs that you forgive her, that you remain friends.
And you can't say no, you don't want to say no.
So you love her secretly, you cherish her secretly.
Everything's a secret.
"Santana."
"Brittany, I'm starting to question Q."
This is the sentence you've dreamt about hearing, but now that she looks so sad.
So broken. You just want her to say that she's kidding.
"Why?"
"I don't think she ever loved me. I think she's.. she's playing me. Because she can."
And she is, but if you told Santana that earlier, she wouldn't believe you.
"Then break-up with her."
"I'm still in love with her..."
You launch yourself forward, pressing your lips to hers.
"And I'm still in love with you."
Santana looks into your eyes, searching them.
And you let her, she needs to know someone will always love her.
You know that you'll be able to fix her in the end.
You won't let Quinn break her forever.
XXXXXXX
Brittany can't tell a single lie.
She just doesn't know how.
So when you're looking in her beautiful blue orbs, you know she's telling the truth.
And you love her too, you know you do.
"I'm still with Quinn."
"Break up with her."
Brittany's voice is pleading, begging you to let go of her before Quinn can really hurt you.
"I... I will, I promise. Just not yet. I want to..."
"Make it less mean?"
You smile at her, nodding your head in agreement.
Brittany smiles and you kiss her again, and now, she doesn't look so broken.
But you still have to deal with Quinn.
XXXXXXXX
Santana never noticed your flaws.
No, that's not right.
She noticed them, but she didn't care. She never did.
You know that when she pulls you under the bleachers, the place where you first kissed her, that she's going to break up with you.
So you press your lips to hers in an effort to silence her.
She pushes you away, refusing to meet your eyes.
So you do the last thing you can.
You run away.
You don't look back, you know she's yelling for you, but you just can't.
Now that you can truthfully say you love Santana, she can't.
"Quinn!"
She corners you after school the next day, and there's no escape this time.
"Santana, please."
You've finally realized your love for the stupid Latina, and she's denying you.
"It was all fake, wasn't it?"
You look in her eyes, and they don't show any emotion.
But her grip on your shoulders tighten, and it causes you to cry out in pain.
"Wasn't it?!"
It's not like it hurt that much, but seeing Santana, staring at you like this.
It hurt much more then anything you've ever felt.
"Well?!"
Huh?
You look down, trying to remember what is was she asked.
"It was all fake, wasn't it?"
Oh.
You shoot your head back up, meeting her gaze full on.
And then you see all the hurt you've caused her.
Like when she was seven and you asked her to jump in your pool even though you knew she couldn't swim.
She did because you asked her to.
After all the times you hurt her, and didn't even apologize.
She forgave you without a second thought.
When she was nine and you told her you wanted some toy you already had. Knowing she spent all of her money on the charm bracelet she just gave you.
She ended up stealing it for you.
You did it because you wanted to test her, to hurt her.
Because you knew you could get away with it.
Your shoulders hunched and you gave the most pitiful look.
"Yes."
She released your shoulders, shaking her head.
"All I needed to know."
And then she walked away.
"Santana!"
"I mean, really Quinn? Sometimes I just wonder if you ever my friend."
"I was, I am, I just-"
"Save it, Q. Save it for someone who wants to hear your bull shit."
You fall to the ground, knowing yoiu may have just lost the one girl who actually loved you.
XXXXXX
She comes to your house crying.
She wraps her beautiful tan arms around you and just cries.
And you just hold her.
"What happened?"
"I asked her if it was fake."
You gulp, knowing exactly what happened.
"She never loved me, not once. I feel like a piece of shit."
She never loved me, not once.
"Did you ever love me?"
Santana pauses for a moment, and you hear her choke on her sobs.
"I don't know. I always loved you. But, I think..."
"You always loved Quinn more."
"I'm so sorry, Brittany."
You shrug your shoulders, actually feeling happy that you two got that out of the way.
"What about now?"
"Huh?"
"Who do you love more now?"
Again, the pause.
Her eyes are red and puffy, but the tears no longer fall.
You wonder if they ever did.
"You. I love you more."
Then she presses her lips to yours and you notice the blonde standing at your doorway with a mouth hanging open and eyes clouded with unshed tears.
Mouth hanging open and eyes clouded with unshed tears.
A look you've seen on Santana too many times for you to feel bad for her now.
A year ago, you would've assumed Quinn was crying because she loved you.
It's not like it wasn't obvious.
But now you just don't know.
XXXXXX
Brittany is a comforting figure in your life, she really is.
But in the end, Quinn is the one who keeps you standing.
She only wanted to hurt you.
"I'm sorry."
Your head shoots back, black eyes locked on hazel ones.
"What?"
"I'm sorry. About everything."
You find yourself shrugging, because you don't really care.
She's used ever since you met her.
That was when you first fell in love with her, love at first sight.
And she just used you, it was all she ever did.
All she ever wanted to do with you.
"Santana, I really am. About everything."
"Girls do you have something you would like to talk about? Because it's fine if you do-"
You cut Will off without even looking at him.
"No, you don't get to play the fucking victim this time, Fabray. You don't get to pretend that I used you. You're the one who hurt me. The one who broke me. I'm ending this right fucking now."
Quinn looked at you, and for the first time, you see that she really means this.
"Santana, I love you."
"Fuck you, Fabray. I don't care."
And you don't.
You don't.
You don't.
You don't.
But you do in the end.
XXXXXX
You know you have to let her be happy.
That you loved Brittany, and fell for her only because she stopped wanting you.
That if she came back to you, like normal, you would hurt her again.
You know you'll just break her down again and again.
"Santana, I love you."
You expect her to just stare at you.
To see some spark of forgiveness, of love, in her eyes.
You expect her to just nod and turn back around, to kiss you after school and proclaim that she loves you too.
To make you forget about Brittany and only love her.
"Fuck you, Fabray. I don't care."
Yes she does.
She has to.
But she doesn't and your heart hurts.
"Santana, please."
Your voice is begging, but she doesn't even turn around.
"By the way, I'm breaking up with you."
You run out of the room, covering your watering eyes.
XXXXXX
You and Santana kiss and she brightens immediatly.
"I love you, B."
"I love you too, Santana."
You're happy for once.
Santana is yours and only yours.
And in the end, Quinn is the only one broken.
XXXXXX
And in the end, Quinn is the only one broken.
No she's not.
You're still in love with Quinn, but now you're also in love with Brittany.
Your life is a fucking mess.
"Santana."
You turn to Quinn, her eyes red and puffy.
"I'm so sorry."
How many times has she said that this past month?
"I don't care, Quinn. We're over."
We're over.
We're over.
She presses her lips to yours and your almost under her spell again.
But you pull away and run.
You can't let this happen now.
XXXXXXX
You learn today that Santana and Brittany broke up.
You smile to yourself because you have a chance.
You learn next week that Santana is dating Rachel.
You smile to yourself because you can still have Brittany.
You learn next month that Santana ended it with Rachel, and Brittany is dating Mike.
You smile to yourself because you can still have Santana.
You learn two months later that Pezberry is back. And that whatever couple name Brittany and Mike have is still going strong.
You smile to yourself because in the end, you got what you deserved.
You're the only one hurting.
A/N
Deciding whether or not to make a second chapter in which it ends with either Brittana or Quinntana.
I'm leaning towards Quinntana over Pezberry these days.
It's scaring the shit out of me.
Bai!