Title: Feel This Moment

Rating: Mature

Author: ilikecrystals

Pairing: Sam and Dean

Author's Note: I found this story on my flash drive, don't even remember writing it, truth be told but it's my style so it must be me. This story contains unconsenting Adult Male Spanking by another Adult Male so if you don't like stories of this type, please don't read. I love reviews and con crit so BRING IT!

##

Dean remembers when they were young.

Dad had whipped their asses when he'd found them-

He'd pulled in front of the old house they were renting, late one afternoon in October, the Impala growling in the shadows of the day, blind ass luck he hadn't parked on the other side of the street, where they were huddled, giggling, and he'd seen them pop up from under the leaves, having been hiding in the raked-up pile someone had left for pick up and yeah, okay, they hadn't really thought of the consequences-

Like a car coming along and not knowing they were there and rolling right over them, squishing them both-

Okay, yeah, not their brightest moment but Dad really didn't have to react quite so harshly.

The blood had drained from his Dad's face, he'd let out a holler that had them both jumping scared and he'd marched across the street, yanked them up by their collars, dragged them into the house, tossed them across the kitchen table like they were sacks of potatoes and pulled off both their jeans near simultaneously.

He remembers meeting Sam's startled, deer caught in headlights eyes and knows his own were just as frightened, while they waited for their father to pull his belt from his jeans, the snap in the air making them both jerk and flinch and Jesus, had he blistered them.

It was fast, so fast and harsh that Dean hadn't been able to keep it together, one moment there was no pain and the next, his ass was on fire, the cracking down of leather filling his brain until he couldn't do anything else but scream and man, did he ever, like his dad was killing him because that's what it felt like, like John Winchester was trying to beat him to death through his ass.

Dean got the worst whipping of his life that night.

He tried to take it for Sammy, tried to tell Dad it was his fault and not to hurt Sam but his dad was beyond hearing, beyond reason and Sam got just as bad as he did and he was fucking four years younger! He remembers crying, watching Sam take his belting, Sam's fingers gripping the edge of the table, locking eyes on Dean and hollering with each smack, tears rolling down unchecked and it killed him with each blow, each hard crack to his brother's poor backside and shit, he would have taken Sam's whipping in a heartbeat if he could.

He'd hated his father that night, for hurting Sam, for not listening and for doing that to both of them. They were just kids. They didn't know any better.

But as they curled up with each other in bed, asses bared and throbbing, crying and clinging together, they'd learned.

They wouldn't take chances with their own lives so easily again.

#

Now, Dean looks out the window, at the colorful leaves swirling and dancing in the breeze, remembering how much he and Sam had loved each other, how they'd been there for each other and how Dad, how no one, could ever come between them.

Except Ruby.

Sam's drinking demon's blood because of her, lying to Dean because of her and he's out of control, power-hungry and not thinking straight. Won't listen to Dean, thinks his big brother is weak and helpless, thinks he can't make the hard decisions anymore and it's separating them, this big chasm of mistrust between them and Dean's gotta stop it.

Doesn't know how to make his brother understand that drinking demon blood is wrong, that using his psychic crap is wrong, that being buddy-buddy with a demon is the worst stupid decision Sam's ever made.

Sam took out that Halloween demon, Samhain, with his fucking mind, after he told Dean he wouldn't! Dean had come in, seen the struggle, Sam with only his raised hand and his mind between him and the hell-on-earth demon that wanted to rip him limb from limb. He'd watched it happen, seen Sam wrench the demon essence out, send the evil back to hell and it had hurt him, taken all Sam had-

It killed Dean to see how much it hurt Sam. Killed him that Sam said he wouldn't use his powers anymore and the first chance he got, he broke his word-

And this is gonna fucking stop right now.

It's when they're walking back across the field to get to the car when it happens. Sam's exhausted, nosed bloodied and legs weak, just needs to get back to the motel where he can get some sleep.

And Dean's mad as hell, pissed at himself for letting this shit get this far and pissed off at Sam for not having the fucking strength to say no to Ruby, to say no to his growing power and just do the right goddamn thing here! Dean's teetering on the edge, the resentment festering inside and he needs to regroup, take himself out of the situation before he attacks Sam, lets his rage loose and brings down a serious can of whoop-ass on his little brother.

Fuck that.

He's on Sam's back before he lets himself think it through, taking his brother down to his knees with his weight and slamming him into the ground, rolling him over in the autumn leaves so they're face to face-

"Dean, what the hell?" Sam's weak, tries to fight back but he's got no strength left and all he can manage is to cling to Dean's arms, try to stop the punch he knows is coming.

He picks Sam up by the shoulders and throws him down hard, watches his head bounce on the ground and the impact cuts off Sam's breath, the flash of pain in his brother's soft eyes feeds him, makes him keep going because Dean's gotta reach him, goddamn it! Needs to make Sam understand- "I told you, Sammy! No more using your demon powers! And you did it anyway!"

"I had to, Dean, I was trying to protect you, to save you! He would have killed me, killed us-OW!" Sam's head hits the ground again as Dean jerks him up and slams him down and suddenly they're in it, wrestling with each other, and it's not about the demon blood, not anymore, no, it's about Dean's control over Sam, big brother versus little brother and Sam's supposed to do what he says, goddamn it! He's fucking older and he knows best and Sam's gotta obey him! His dad said! Dean's the one in charge, he's always been in charge of them and he'll be damned if he's gonna let a goddamn demon chick usurp his authority over his little brother!

They tumble, locked in a clench, rolling over and over until Dean's dizzy, swearing a blue streak in the air between them. When his vision clears, he's on top, panting with exertion, and he jerks Sam over, shoves him face down, grabs one of his brother's arms and yanks up, the scream of pain filling his ears even as his knees dig in, keeping Sam in place and he's growling in Sam's ear, "You little fuck, you're gonna do what I say and like it! You're gonna lose the demon bitch, stop drinking blood and do what you're supposed to do!"

"NO! Won't!" Sam's head rears back, slams into Dean's face so hard, he's seeing fucking stars but he won't let go, twists Sam's arm up higher, hooking around the writhing body beneath him even more as Sam screams out into the cold night air, "OWWW! Fuck! You're not the goddamn boss of me, Dean! I decide what I fucking do and don't do and you got nothing to say about it! Now get OFF me, asshole!"

"We'll see about that!" And with grim determination, Dean reaches down, grabs Sam's belt and rips it out of his pants, his brother bucking up with his hips, clawing back with his other hand, trying to rip at Dean anywhere he can reach and he's strong as hell-

Dean manages to catch the flailing arm, haul it back and wrap the belt around both elbows, cinching tight and got his little brother trussed up good now, no way he can stop what's gonna happen next-

Dean reaches underneath the writhing hips, unbuttoning and unzipping Sam's jeans, feels the tense pause, the rigid muscles twitching with nerves, ready for fight and hears the suck of breath Sam hauls in when he realizes what Dean's got in mind-

"What the fuck are you doing? You think you're gonna-Dean, no, you-NO, goddamn it! You're not Dad! You can't do this!" Sam struggles harder, tries to get to his knees, tossing his body back and forth, trying to pitch Dean into the air-

Dean locks his thighs around Sam's hips and holds on tight, like his brother's a bucking bronco needing taming, and goes limp, curling around Sam, making his body dead weight, keeping him in place by sheer force, "But I can do this, Sam and I am doing this. Remember when we hid in the leaves when we were kids? Remember how hard Dad beat our asses? Well, that's nothing compared to what you're gonna get right now!"

And he snatches at his own belt, yanking down Sam's jeans and underwear, baring his brother's ass and legs to the night air and Dean scoots back, keeping Sam's thighs wedged tight between his knees, the leaves underneath them crunching and crackling-

He doubles the belt, lets it fly fast, a rapid whip across the exposed ass and the loud crack on Sam's skin feeds him, fills him with purpose and he's calm and quiet, resolute, gonna see this through now because he knows he's doing the right thing here-

Even if Sam doesn't agree, "OWWWW! You fucking ASSHOLE! Let me goddamn up!"

And he realizes then he has to belt Sam as fast as his father did that night, got to get through this quick and let the pain do his talking for him.

So he shuts down his mind, can't deal with the fact that he's the one hurting his beloved Sammy and every instinct inside, every harsh breath tells him to stop because this is brother, his baby brother he's doing this to. The one he's sworn to protect, to keep safe.

Has to. Has to. Got teach Sammy right from wrong.

So he grits his jaw, hauls back his arm and lets Sam have it, fast and harsh, crisscrossing slashes across his brother's soft flesh, cut after cut, watching the welts bloom and swell on each ass cheek, red scores merging, becoming one, until every inch is covered, fiery hot and glowing.

Sam jerks and yelps with each crack, cussing something fierce, growling out every horrible thing he's gonna do to Dean when he gets free. "You s-son of a BITCH! Fuck, STOP! OWWWW, Dean,goddamn it, stop! Fuck! Can't, AHHHHH, Jesus Christ! AHHHHhhhhh-" Sam is throwing his ass back and forth, trying to lessen the force but Dean's iron hold around his legs binds him good, keeps him right there.

"You need this, Sammy! Gonna stop with that demon bitch, gonna stop with the fucking blood shit, gonna do what you're supposed to do, you hear me? 'Cause I can do this all freaking night, if I have to." Dean keeps swinging, fast and hard, beating Sam's ass raw, bringing the belt down in harsh slices and now Sam's not swearing anymore, moved past words to incoherent cries, yelping and thrashing at the chafe of the belt binding his arms, the fire in his bottom and thighs as they get whipped a pulsing, dark crimson.

"OHHH! AHHHHHAAAA! OWWWwwwww…" The last is a wailing sob and Dean can hear the tears clogging Sam's throat, the desperation there as he holds himself so rigid, won't give a fucking inch, his muscles taut and shaking with exertion, and then the broken words, almost begging Dean so he won't crack and break, so Sam won't be brought to his knees with a mere spanking, "God, Dean,please don't, don't do this, please!"

And Dean's crying right there with him, the tears rolling down his face, hates this, would rather die than hurt Sam, but he's gotta do this, gotta save his baby brother.

So he steels his resolve, draws back his arm and lets the belt fly again, thudding hard across Sam's thighs, turning Sam's skin to molten lava, if his brother's screams are any indication.

Big hands reach down, try to cover his burning flesh and Dean doesn't hesitate, whips across both palms.

And that's it-

"OW! OWWWW!" Sam bucks up once more and then crumples down, starts sobbing, low hurt wails that clench at Dean's heart, and he's gasping, choking out the words, "Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm SORREEE! Please, gotta stop, can't, AHHHH! Can't take anymore, Dean, PLEASE! I'm, FUCK! So goddamn sorry, OWWWWHHH!"

And thank Christ! He's reaching Sam, fucking finally, and now he can get Sam to understand that he just can'tkeep doing this!

Sam's voice trails away to whimpers, he stops struggling, stops hollering and goes still, letting Dean pound his ass, taking it, like he knows he's got coming and it's deserved, and he bows his head, tears rolling down his face as he tries to lift his ass up for his brother's punishment, mumbling out more broken apologies.

Dean feels the fight go out of the man beneath him and he drops the belt, staring down at Sam's ass, now a dark, fiery scarlet, the skin cut and broken, and Sam's shaking all over, hiding his face in the leaves, body racked with sobs, lost in pain-

Dean did this, broke his brother like this and he hates himself, hates that he hurt Sammy like this, killed his spirit, feels the tears sliding down his own face at the wounded, animal sounds Sam's making.

His own voice is broken, thick with tears, as he bends over his brother, "Gonna untie you now, Sammy. Hope you learned your lesson because fuck, I don't want to do this again! Will if I have to but shit, Sam, let this be the fuck enough!"

And when he releases Sam's arms from the belt, climbs off his back, he's wary, waiting for the pounding Sam was promising him, knows he's gonna get beat down good because his swinging arm is pretty much useless now.

Sam hunches over for a moment, still weeping, keeps his face down like he's ashamed and no, just no-

"Sammy, 's kay, you just got off track, no fucking shame here, just gotta start doing what's right from now on-" Dean's hands are soothing, rubbing his brother's back, needs to have Sam be okay-

And Sam wrenches away from him, gets to his knees and yanks up his shorts and his jeans with a harsh moan, shoulders still shaking, wuffling out almost whimpers as he tries to button and zip up, can't see through his tears and Dean's there, on his knees beside him, helping him with gentle fingers.

Gets Sam's pants fixed and stares at his brother, who's still looking down at the ground, hiding behind his hair.

He reaches out, puts a hand on Sam's shoulder and starts to speak, needs Sam to know it's okay, that Dean still loves him and he's gonna take care of him, like always-

Sam jerks his head up, staring at Dean in the dark, face streaked with tears and working hard, trying to choke off the hurt sounds still falling from his mouth-

And there's no warning when Sam throws himself at Dean, begins crying uncontrollably, burying himself in Dean's neck, and Dean finds himself with an armful of shaking, desperate baby brother, babbled words hot on Dean's flesh-

"So scared, so fucking scared of this, don't know what I'm doing, need you to-Jesus, don't let go, Dean, promise me, you won't let go, just, keep holding on, man, need you to keep me here, with you, keep me on track because it's so fucking hard not to just let go and let this evil shit inside me out!"

Dean hugs him in close, closes his eyes because he loves his brother so damn much and he's scared too, scared of what Sam's becoming, can't seem to stop it, any of it but breathes out the one thing he can control, himself, "Not ever gonna let you go, Sammy, gonna stay right here, gonna hold on to you tight and whatever's gonna happen, it's gonna have to get through both of us. I promise. I promise."

And the arms snaking around Dean's neck, pulling him close, tells him he did the right thing. Knows Sam's gonna probably make more stupid mistakes, gargantuan ones but for tonight, his brother's back, with him, and that's all that matters right now.

It's all that's ever mattered.