Title: When Broken Is Easily Fixed
Author: JemmaLoVe Nicole I do not in anyway, shape, or form own Degrassi: TNG . Therefore do not sue me, please don't sue whatever you do. Although you might want to start looking for some good lawyers, because the voices in my head have informed me that they own Michael Ryan Lobel and you can't and never will have him back. So ha! But other then that I own absolutely nothing.
I also do not own the song that will be in this chapter it is called Smashed To Pieces by Silverstein from the cd When Broken Is easily Fixed, hence the title of the story.
Rating: PG-13 -- R
Summary Notes: My story happens after the episodes Secrets 1 & 2 about 3 weeks to be exact. All of Emma's friend want to know were she has been for the past two weeks after she found out she was sick and when she finally shows up, they sense something off about her. More secrets then ever will be coming out. I am so bad at summaries like you have no idea.
Author Note: I will be using excerpts from the songs on the cd When Broken Is Easily Fixed by Silverstein.
here is a couple of things you might need to know to understand my writing.
1.) I did say that the story takes place 3 weeks after Secrets 1 & 2 , and it does. Just Emma was out for 2 of the 3 weeks and she came back on the 3rd week. Hope This Helps:)
2.) The guy that is Emma's Biological Father (I cannot for the life of me think of his name so if you know it could you please contact me and tell me) isn't really her father (in my story yes I know out there but it is what it is and this is coming from my mind and I have a huge imagination) I will explain who her real father is in the story. I guess you can say that is one of the secrets. :)
3.) OK I can't remember if they mention why Chris and Emma broke up during the summer after Season 3 but I am making it up on my behalf so expect that too.
4.) This is my first fan fiction for me to EVER write so I hope you guys like it and I know it is so AU but it was a thought that came to me while reading some of yours. And I honestly hope you like! Please read it and review it criticism is welcome, whether I talk back or not is up to what you say...oh and this is eventually going to be a Jay and Emma fic
HAVE FUN!
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Smashed To Pieces
Jemma -x-Nicole-x-
Emma's P.O.V
Walking down the hall used to be the easiest thing for me. It was me, Manny was my best friend, JT, the comedian, the funny, but more importantly my best guy friend, and Toby the smart one who always made an uncomfortable situation well...even more uncomfortable, yea, that was Toby for you But you see know I'm alone
Manny has her spirit squad. She has taken over for Paige while Paige is dealing with her "emotional demons". yes that was the rumor I believe. I guess Manny and Paige got into a cat fight while I was gone over Paige and our teacher Mr. Oleander dating and Manny opened her mouth when she knew it was a secret. Ya that's Manny for you...got to love her though.
JT is off doing god knows what with Liberty. I just hope they are safe I don't want nothing bad happening to them. Like what happened to me. Even though I know they are safe I guess you could say I fear the worst know a days.
and Toby, well he is being Toby ever since I have been back he hasn't detached himself from me and it is driving me crazy. I think this is the first time out of the entire time I have been back since I walked down these halls alone without Toby on my ass.
But I guess you could say I'm not alone...if you count the stares and the glares I have been getting my way for the past 5 days.
I've been back to school for a week know after my 2 week absence. TGIF, I guess you could say. Which means tomorrow is Saturday and the day after that is Sunday. Two new days of sulking, crying, and regretting. Oh.. the regret.
Regret such a simple word with a powerful meaning. To simply put it, regret has become my middle name. I regret so many things. I used to never regret anything but know I do.
I regret ever trying to be nice to a psychotic killer like Rick Murray. I regret ever going down to that stupid ravine. and getting infected by a one Jay Hogart. I regret crying all the tears that I cried over. him and his fucking social disease. I regret ever being civil towards him. I regret everything that I did with him. Mostly I regret ever having any kind of conflicting feelings for a bastard like him.
But most of all, I regret being a stubborn bitch therefore ending my relationship for good with Sean Cameron. Oh god do I miss his presence. Even though we weren't together it was still nice to see his face everyday. I guess you could say it calmed me. It's weird though in a weird psychological way Sean not being here hasn't brought me peace over our break up but closure. Why you ask. I don't know, honestly I don't
Me not seeing him everyday isn't heart wrenching anymore but I finally feel like I can breathe good our "relationship" during it's up and downs and the good and the bad. Even though at the moment it is the only thing at the moment I can finally breathe about.
Maybe it is because he knows my secret.
he knows my secret life
The life he found out on accident. The life no one was supposed to know but me, my mom, and Snake, I guess secrets are really hard to keep I mean know look who knows. Me, my mom, Snake, Sean, Joey Jeremiah, Caitlin Ryan, and Craig Manning. Yes Craig Manning he has been like a brother to me. the one have never had but recently have found out I did have. Just not knowingly
For the past 2 weeks of my absence. I have been with my secret life trying to put back the pieces to my crumbled life. With the help of Sean and my family I hope I can finally start seeing peace to my hell. Maybe not. I guess we will just have to find out
Signed,
Emma Nelson or Should I say Emma Toretto
dated April 23 2005
As I closed my journal I looked up at the clock 2:29. Finally I could leave this hell whole. My last class of the day was study hall. Which meant I could get a journal writing in before I had to hand it in to my therapist. yes that's right Emma nelson seeing a therapist...who would of thought. Just another one of my many secrets linked to my oh so fun secret life. Emma smiled slightly at her own personal sarcasms.
Emma was suddenly snapped out of her thought when she heard the bell ring
"Finally." She said out loud surprising herself.
She walked down the halls of Degrease Community school. with her head up high trying to fake that what everyone her staring and whispering wasn't getting to her but it did. It really did. She was so far in thought she didn't even here many trying to talk to her.
"Me, Me, Emma...are you okay?" Manny Santos said
"Huh..oh..hey Manny!" Emma a said walking to her locker
"Hey are you okay. I mean you looked off just a minute ago. You have been looking of since you have been back." Manny said starting to open her locker with her combination
"Oh, glad to see you've notice and yes I am fine just tired." Emma said being sarcastic opening her own locker.
"Yea I am so sorry Me about the week it has just been ya know weird."
"Ya, some how weird just doesn't even begin to explain this hell."
"Trust me Hon I know what you mean I have been through something like this it will go away soon."
"Yes but there is allot more then you think." Emma said under her breath
"Did you say something." Manny asked questioningly.
" Yea I said yea I know." Emma said taking a note book out of her locker.
"Listen Em anytime you need to talk or something you know my number call me I will answer." many said giving her friend an awkward hug and smiling
Manny walked away, while Emma started putting her essentials for the weekends homework into her messenger bag. She dropped her stuff for English and started gathering it up when she looked up and seen him. The guy that ruined her life in so many ways more then one. It crushed her to watch him walk through halls with the smirk that drives every guy jealous and every girl insane...including herself.
he was walking down the Hall with her.. his girlfriend Alex
'I can not for the life of me know why Alex toke Jay back " She thought to herself.
Then he looked at her. with his signature smirk planted right on his face.
She got a gut feeling in her stomach telling her to walk away but she couldn't. She couldn't tear her eyes off of him. He was so...addicting...even after everything he did to her, everything he gave her she still couldn't tear her eyes off of him.
"Emma." Came a familiar voice from behind her.
Emma looked up to see Craig Manning behind her.
"Hey Craig." She said looking over his shoulder seeing Jay's back..
Craig looked around to see what she was looking at and her rolled his eyes.
"Em don't worry about him he's nothing anymore. ember that ok."
"yea I know." Emma said putting the rest of stuff in her bag. "Did you need something." Emma said closing her locker.
"Uhh..yea I was wondering if I could like come over tonight I know it's Friday and I know you got to go to see your counselor " Craig said Looking around making sure no one heard him. Emma looked around also.
"But I wanted to come vie rend maybe jam with you and your brother. Maybe . Ash is out of town for the weekend with her sick grandma and Joey and Caitlin have a thing and Angie is with Baby Jack and your mom and step dad so ya know help a friend out please."
"Um...yea sure but my brother isn't in town but my cousin will be with us you will like him his name is Travis but you know you can't tell anyone were you are you know that right.."
"Yea, of course."
"including Ashley."
"I know I know no one can EVER know." He said emphasizing on the ever.
"Then yea you can come over but you are gonna have to go with me to the you know were okay."
"Yea sure. of course."
"OK" She said.
They were walking out the door when they seen A black SUV pull up. They were stunned when they seen who walked out.
'NO NO NO '
The boy was your average height for a male with blue baggy jeans and a From Autumn To Ashes Hoodie on. The boy ran up to the stairs to greet Emma and Craig
"Hey Em, Craig." The boy said hitting knuckles with Craig. And giving Emma a hug.
"Jason what are you doin here I thought you had a football game in Montreal.
"Yea I did but they cancelled, the weather I guess is bad up there."
"Oh." She said with a hint of happiness in her voice.
"Yea so I was like let me come get Emma take her to her appointment, And see if Craig wants to come too." Jason said.
"Well man your in luck I am coming for the night." Craig said patting Jason on the shoulder.
A breeze came by and Emma hugged herself. She knew she should of brought a jacket. She was in a pair of jeans and a white wife beater on with black converse.
"Em you cold here." Jason said. Pulling off his Hoodie and handing it to her. Showing his shirt on underneath was a simple black long sleeve shirt.
"Thanks...wait a minute isn't this my hoodie. you thief." Emma said handling her bag to Jason and slipping it over her head.
"No It is mine i let you borrow it and YOU stole it." Jason said laughing
"Yea I guess you never getting it back know because I LOVE From Autumn To Ashes okay...you never ever getting it back." She said laughing.
Craig and Jason looked at her and then looked at each other.
"What?" Emma said looking at the duo questioningly.
"Nothing you just smiled and if I may add more laughed." Craig said putting his hands in his pockets. "I think that's a first Jace, outside of your house."
they Both laughed
"Shut Up." She said playfully jabbing them in the arm.
"I think it is time to get you to your appointment." Jason said
"Oh yea." Emma said as they started walking down to the Black SUV
Emma looked over and seen Jay at his Orange Honda Civic staring as he watched the entire scenario. His look jealousy.
She looked puzzled at him. he intern looked questioningly at him. She then looked around at other people they were also staring
What the hell haven't you seen anyone get into a friggin car for god sake. She looked over at jay, he still looked puzzled and confused.
She starting think was he jealous of my brother and Craig around me. No why would he. She shrugged the thought off and got into the backseat of the SUV as Jason got into the front seat and Craig in the Passenger seat,
When they toke of to their first destination the Office of her therapist she started thinking.. What if what she seen in jay's eyes was really Jealousy. Why would he be jealous. What is going on. She then shrugged this thought off. And pulled out her journal for her doctor opening it to the next page she started to write.
She was confused about her feelings towards jay and the entire scenario that just played out in the Hall and outside the ravine all these sudden emotions started to flood her mind so she did the only thing she wrote
So she wrote a writing, she wouldn't necessarily call a poem but a writing that is what it was a writing. It read.
And if my lungs still let me breathe,
Maybe
when you find out that I'm dead,
you'll realize what you did to
me.
would you be
there for me.
If I
can make myself believe, No, I won't let it go.
I'll give you back what you took
away.
Douse myself in gasoline.
So
don't save me when you come into the fire. And if my lungs still let me breathe,
I'd rather die than
have to see your smile.
would you be there for me.
If I
can make myself believe,
I'll give you back what you took away.
She looked up to see her brother Jason looking at her with a smile on his face .
"What?" She mouthed.
"Nothing." He mouthed back, he smiled then turned his concentration back to driving.
'what the hell was that' Emma thought to herself.
She ultimately decided to go finish her writing after thinking to hard
You
made me swear You made me swear
I, I can't sleep.
Realize
all these things that you took from me.
Smash
my heart (you made me swear)
into dust. (you made me swear)
Suffocate
my mind. (you made me swear)
Tear at me from inside. (you made me
swear)
Smash
apart what you created.
How
can I ever stop you from crushing my soul? And if my lungs still let me breathe,
It was, it was yours,
yours to begin with.
would you be there for me.
If
I can make myself believe,
I'll give you back what you took
away.
They finally got to their destination Jason had asked if she wanted him to stay with her but she said no.
Emma felt weird standing in the elevator. She didn't know why but it felt weird then the last two times. that she had been here. She shrugged off the thought and then stepped out of the elevator and headed towards the door that said "Dr. Erin Hornell". She stood in front of the door and look at the sign.
'This is it.' Emma thought. She then twisted the door knob and walked in. She walked towards the secretaries desk.
"Name please." The young secretary said politely with a smile. That smile freaked Emma out a bit she thought it. was...too...happy.
"Emma...Nelson...I mean Emma Toretto." Emma said, smiled a fake smile and walked to an open seat. She was alone in the lounging area. She silently kicked herself for having a new last name that she had to keep remembering.
'Damnit, new last name new identity Emma thought to herself. She was immediately brought out of thought when she heard her name called.
"Emma...Emma..Miss. Toretto." the secretary said loudly. "Dr. Hornell will see you know."
Emma got up grabbed her messenger bag that was son the floor, and started walking towards the office door.
Here goes nothing She though
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Author's Note Well I told you it was very AU.. please tell me if you liked it or not. I would really appreciate your honest opinions. Should I continue?
If you know this song by Silverstein then you know I toke parts out of the song
the song belongs to Shane Told, Neil Boshart, Josh Bradford Bill Hamilton, Paul Koehler, And victory records. I don not own them I just love them.
I hope you liked it.
I don't know if I want to put the therapy session in or not so tell me what you think I should do and maybe just maybe your wish will come true. Hey I rhymed does a little dance
R&R pleaseeeee