DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters. They were all created by the amazing J.K. Rowling!
Always
Severus Snape walked down the wide hallway making his way to the dungeons. All he could think about was him. Harry Potter, he looked just like his arrogant, big-headed father, James. He was surely going to be just like him. But his eyes, they were Lily's. It pained him every time he looked into them. He forced himself not to think about her. But sometimes his thoughts got their way.
It's all my fault she's dead. My fault the love of my life is dead. And I will never forgive myself. No. Don't think about it. He pushed the thoughts away and got out a quill, ink, and parchment to plan the very first lesson he would teach to Harry Potter.
He dipped his quill in the ink and pressed it the parchment. He already knew what to write as he had already been planning it, but the parchment stayed blank and bare.
'What if I had never become a death eater? What if I had never heard some of the prophecy through the key hole that day? What if I had never called Lily a-a, no. I will not think about that day. That day that ruined my life. It's all Potter and Black's fault I called her a- mudblood.'
He cursed aloud as he thought of the word. Why couldn't I have died rather than her? She's gone. I've lived with the fact for 10 years. I don't know what to do with my life now that she's gone. How could I have let this happen?
He had known Lily since he was nine and had loved her all his life, yet he let her die. Severus couldn't live with the guilt. If only she hadn't cared for the child, he was the reason she was dead. Lily had jumped in front of Lord Voldemort shielding Harry. But why hadn't he died? How was it that the only person known to survive the killing curse was only a year old child? Lily Evans child. He refused to call her Lily Potter.
'I am not ready for this year. The year I have been dreading for ten years. The year he would come to Hogwarts. The year I would have to protect my worst enemy's son, and my only love's son. I will love you forever, I will love you always.