All for Nothing - The Revised Version

by xBlackxRosexRebellionx

Daryl's search for his brother never stopped. There's nothing he wouldn't give to find Merle alive. What he doesn't know is that Merle IS alive. He was taken in by another group and nursed back to health by Kat, a woman who is desperately searching for a place to call home. When the groups meet, will they join forces or will it tear them apart? This is a story about love and pain.

Author's Note: I felt that the song this story is based off of was very relevant to the tone of how the story will play out throughout the course of the chapters. You're probably not familiar with the song since it's by a Swedish band that's not very well-known called Plan Three. They're PHENOMENAL. Both the name of the song I used the lyrics from and the translations from Albanian to English that Kat and Joel use are posted at the end of the chapter.

This chapter has undergone EXTENSIVE revision – or plastic surgery as I like to call it. I kept the theme song for the story since the song and the title will still reflect on the overall themes of the story. However, the main female character's physical appearance, personality, and backstory have changed. Likewise, the men in her group have changed too. I might have kept a name or two from the boys but their physical appearance and backstories have drastically changed. You'll get to know more about the original characters I came up with as time goes on. I must admit that I snitched Liam from my "Still Swingin'" story though. I loved his character so much that I had to find a way to incorporate him into this one too. And, while I had previously considered just leaving Daryl's portion of this story alone and using it in this revised version, word for word, I decided to tweak it some too. So about half of the content from Daryl's portion of the story is new as well.

I want this story to be darker, more interesting, more intense than the previous version of it was. I want it to be exciting and dangerous and mysterious. I'm hoping I hint to all of that throughout the chapters as time goes on. It's a long chapter, so be prepared. There's some smut, there's some playful banter, and there's some frustration all rolled into this chapter. Anyway, I'll shut up and let you read now.

All for Nothing

Chapter 1: Someplace Safe

The lights showing in your face

Bear the sights of a cold embrace

Do you stop when someone else around you

Is falling?

Faith is in our way

They wore you out and cut you down

Everything just seems too far away

Taking hits without bleeding

I walk away without leaving

Is it one for all and all for nothing?

If you hide everything inside

Do you fool everyone around?

When you crash

You think there's someone there

To save you

Do you know the pain I feel?

And it grows

Is it help I need when I cry?

Will you be the one that I surrender to?

The one, the one

And faith is in our way

He wore you out and cut you down

Everything just seems too far away

Oh

I'm taking hits without bleeding

I'll walk away without leaving

Is it one for all and all for nothing?

Turn the page but I'll be there

I fill my lungs without breathing

Is it one for all and all for nothing?

All that is lost

Will be revealed

Crying out by the weaker

To show that you feel

Don't need to know

Don't need to hope

When living life at the bottom

There's nothing left to show

Closing my eyes and I'm seeing

I'm wide awake when I'm dreaming

Now is it one for all and all for nothing?

Turn the page but I'll be there

I fill my lungs without breathing

Is it one for all and all for nothing?

Is it one for all and all for nothing?

Do you know the pain I feel?

And it grows

Is it help I need when I cry?

It's always one for all and all for nothing

~*Kat*~

Katya Chevenandrova sprinted down the aisle of the store, her feet pounding on the tile floor. Her breath sawed in and out of her, her chest heaving and her lungs burning as she ran for her life. She stole a glance over her shoulder and found that the horde was still pursuing her, groaning as they shuffled after her as fast as their legs would carry them.

She tripped and hit the floor, scrambling on her hands and feet just as fast as she could as she tried to get back onto her feet. She was up on her feet again a few seconds later. No way in HELL was she going to stop running, to stop fighting to survive.

A hand reached out to wrap around her wrist, its grip firm, and she screamed, jerking hard to try to get her hand out of its grasp even as she continued running.

But she heard the most familiar voice she knew reassure her, "Don't you fuckin' stop, Kat. Keep goin', baby. We're almost out. The boys are waitin' out front with the truck."

Relief flooded through her body as she turned her head while she ran and saw those familiar gray eyes, as gray as a summer storm. He flashed her a smile, full of bright, white teeth, and she couldn't help but smile back.

He didn't let go of her, not for a SECOND, as they made their way for the doors, and he pushed her out ahead of him, always quick to put himself between her and whatever danger was presenting itself to them. She ran towards the truck and Axel and Rafe reached out towards her. She reached the truck and scrambled to get one foot up on the tire as the boys helped pull her up into the truck. Joel was right behind her. He put his hands on the side of the bed of the truck, vaulting up and over it to land in the bed of the truck. There was a squealing of tires and Axel and Rafe were quick to squat down and grab one side of the truck before lowering themselves into a seated position as their getaway driver tore off down the street, leaving the zombies to shuffle after them, their arms outstretched as they groaned and growled.

Kat looked over at Joel and he smiled at her, sliding over so that he was right next to her. She was quick to rest the side of her head against his chest as she wrapped one arm tight around his slender waist, needing to know that he was really there, that they were really safe. She didn't care what happened to her. But she couldn't lose him. She could NEVER lose him.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave them a slight, reassuring squeeze as he leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head.

"Shh… You're safe, baby girl. You're safe…" he assured her, "I'm never gonna let anything happen ta you, not as long as I'm breathin'."

She tilted her head back to look up at him and he brought his soft, full lips down to press them to hers. She sat up a bit, reaching up to cup his handsome face in her tiny hands, feeling the rough prickle of his stubble teasing her fingertips as she pressed her lips more firmly to his. She slowly let her lips part, silently asking him to deepen the kiss, and he didn't hesitate. He parted his own lips and eased his tongue into her mouth.

Joel was a DAMN good kisser, the best she'd ever known. And she'd known PLENTY. He took his time, tasting and pleasing even as he teased. He teased the tip of her tongue with gentle little flicks of the tip of his own tongue before he slowly circled his tongue around hers. He massaged the sides of her tongue with his and she voiced a soft, breathy moan into his mouth before teasing his tongue further into her mouth and capturing it between her lips when he took the bait. She sucked greedily at his tongue. He was the patient one. She wasn't.

"Come on. Is that REALLY necessary?" Rafe asked in a teasing tone.

The young Albanian woman slowly eased back from the kiss, nibbling lightly at Joel's bottom lip before giving it a little nip. She turned her head to look at Rafe and Axel and cocked one dark brown brow at them.

There was no denying that she was Queen B of the group and that she had all the boys wrapped around her pretty little fingers. Joel was the "alpha male" of the group, due to the fact that none of the other men had the balls to challenge him, but she often had great sway over him and all the boys knew it. There were only 6 of them in the group and 5 of the 6 were men. But that didn't matter. Kat practically wore the pants in their little unit. She tended to make more calls than Joel did and Joel never objected to her decisions unless he was REALLY opposed to them. In fact, the two of them often talked things out and came to a decision together and then she informed the rest of the group of their decision.

But Kat wasn't a strict leader. Hell she often spoiled the boys rotten, tending to dote on them whenever she could. She was sweet and patient and caring. She was understanding and sympathetic and devoted to making sure they were as content as their circumstances would allow. She'd go out of her way to make them happy. She'd do without so that they could have. She was like a mother tiger tending to her cubs. She was fiercely protective and she'd stop at NOTHING to keep them safe. There was no mistaking where her loyalty lied. But there was also no mistaking where her heart lied either. Joel had a firm grip on that and it was QUITE clear that he was never going to relinquish it.

Kat had never known a man like Joel. Joel was the only person she had ever truly loved as more than a dear friend. He was the only one that she had ever let her walls down for. He was the one reason she was still alive, still fighting. He was the reason she would CONTINUE to fight until the last breath left her lungs. If not for Joel, she would've been dead. He was her savior, her life, her EVERYTHING. He was the first thing she thought of when she woke up and the last thought that crossed her mind before she went to sleep.

She had never had an easy life. She'd grown up in Albania with a father who had been in the Albanian mafia and a mother who had been left to raise 6 unruly boys and Kat, the only daughter of the family. Kat had grown up to accept the fact that the mafia was her family, that her brothers would one day join its ranks. And they did. They were ruthless, notorious, downright malicious. Yet she was the baby of the family and they all adored her, all doted on her and loved her dearly. But even the Albanian mafia had its enemies.

Kat had been kidnapped at the "ripe" age of 16 and shipped to the United States. For 2 years she was passed around as a prostitute and sex slave. She was used and abused. She was violated and degraded. She was shot up with drugs to keep her calm and compliant. She was beaten and raped when she didn't please her customers or masters well enough. But then Joel had found her. He'd come into the warehouse she was being kept in and he and his boys had brutally murdered her captors – competition to his gang in terms of distributing drugs. He'd set the other girls free but he just couldn't let Kat go. And she knew, from the VERY second their eyes had met that night, that her life would change forever.

She'd been with Joel 7 years now. He'd taught her how to protect herself, how to use weapons and how to kill when it was necessary. He'd stayed right by her side, through thick and thin. He'd spent his free time teaching her English and, while her accent was still quite thick, she was mastering the language quite well. Of course, being a quick and eager learner and having a good teacher sure helped. He'd spoiled her rotten, bringing her gifts from time to time, things like delicious chocolates, adorable stuffed animals, beautiful flowers, nice clothes, pretty jewelry. He'd lavished her with all his attention and affection. From the night he'd brought her back to his apartment, he'd never taken another woman into his bed. He might've been the most notorious gang lord in all of Boston, reportedly being even more merciless than the devil himself, but Joel was NEVER unkind to Kat.

So, when the zombie apocalypse had broken out, he'd gotten her out of the city. She was the only thing that had mattered to him. His boys had followed him and they'd made for the southeast coast. But many of his boys had died. Their numbers had shrunk from 12 to a mere 3. Now, the only two that had survived other than Joel were Axel Rhodes and Rafe Verona. They'd found an Irishman named Liam O' Shaughnessy and a redneck named Merle Dixon. Joel Mathers was the sole reason why Kat was alive and she would do ANYTHING to keep him alive, to keep them together.

Kat returned her attention back to Joel, gazing into those gorgeous gray eyes. She'd never believed love was real. She'd never believed in all that sappy shit in chick flicks or romance novels, ESPECIALLY considering the fact that she'd grown up into a mafia family and all the shit she'd been through after she was kidnapped. She'd never believed in love at first sight and she'd SURE as hell never believed that SHE, of ALL people, would ever fall in love. She'd thought love was for the lucky, the pure, that you had to be deserving and worthy of something like love. But she had fallen in love. And she'd fallen HARD, head over heels, for this man. She'd never felt ANYTHING so strongly, so deeply. It was raw and passionate and intense. And she knew, with every FIBER of her being, that she loved this man.

She rested her forehead against his, her dark chocolate colored eyes drifting shut. Her whole body relaxed as she felt him bring those strong arms up to wrap them around her. She was always on edge when he was out of her sight, could never truly relax unless he was right there. And she'd NEVER felt safer, never felt cozier or more relaxed, than when she was wrapped up tight in his arms or she could hold him in her own arms.

When Liam put the truck in park in front of the cabin they were currently staying at, Joel was the first one out, reaching up to help Kat down. Everyone grabbed their packs and carried them inside, eager to see how their latest supply run had gone.

They were all happy to see that Joel had been sure to find a few weapons and some ammo from the local police station, a few clothing items for Kat, and a couple cans of food. Kat had stocked up on drinks, a few canned goods, and some medical supplies. Rafe had found some clothes for the men and more canned goods. Axel had found a knife collection and plenty of drinks. Liam had stuffed as many bags of munchies into his pack as he could. And Merle had packed clothes, a knife, a gun, some ammo, and what he called "survival packs" – packs of beef jerky, trail mix, pretzels, peanuts, snack crackers, or cookies – into his pack. So they'd managed to do pretty well for themselves.

Kat rifled through the canned goods they had and announced to the group, "I'll make you all dinner after I take my shower."

She started for the stairs and her eyes locked with Joel's for a few brief seconds before she climbed the steps and headed to the room she shared with him to grab a set of clean clothes and head into the bathroom. She closed the door but didn't lock it, knowing that Joel was the only man that would have the balls to come through that door as long as she was in the bathroom. Friends or not, he'd KILL another man for looking at her naked body.

She reached down for the hem of her plain black cami and tugged it up and over her head, letting it fall to the floor. She heard the door open and Joel stepped into the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind him. His eyes locked on her black lace-clad breasts and he bit his bottom lip as he walked over to stand right in front of her. He reached out to unfasten the clasps at the back of her bra with nimble fingers and she pushed the bra straps down her arms, her dark chocolate colored eyes never leaving his stormy gray ones. The garment fell to the floor and he brought his mouth down to press it to hers.

Joel brought one hand up to cup the side of her face as his other slowly slid down over her slender, pale stomach. He found the button of her faded Daisy Dukes even as his tongue teased hers. She felt him pop the button and slide the zipper down while his tongue continued to dance with hers. He was a man of many talents. She'd been quick to learn that. Hell the man made an art out of EVERYTHING he did. And when he kissed, he wasn't simply kissing. The man practically made love to her mouth with his.

His hand dipped down into her shorts and slid under the waistband of her black lace, bikini cut panties. She whined into his mouth as she felt those long, thick fingers skim their way down to her folds. She pulled her mouth back from his, a gasp spilling from her full lips as she rested her forehead against his shoulder, her hands finding his sides and sliding around to his back. She slid her hands up the back of his shirt, sinking her fingers into the muscles there as they rippled under her touch.

"That's it, baby," he practically purred to her, turning his head so that his mouth was pressed right to her ear, "Show me, Kat. You like that?"

He found that little bundle of nerves and worked a single fingertip over it, circling slowly. She gave a short, sharp whine and her thighs trembled slightly. She'd always been sensitive, which had only made her torture worse when she'd been used in the sex trade. But it made Joel's touches 10 times stronger, more intense. Her fingers dug into his back and her hips rocked towards his hand, encouraging his touch.

She moaned as he slid his hand further into her panties, two of his thick fingers playing over her entrance, stroking and teasing.

He gave a light little chuckle, the deep rumble meeting her ear as he toyed with her.

"That's a good girl, Kit Kat," he praised, "Tell me, baby girl."

He prodded at her entrance a couple times with one fingertip before he slid it inside of her, and a moan spilled from her lips as she dug her fingers into his back.

"Fuck! Joel…" she moaned quietly.

"Aww now you're holdin' out on me, babe," he pointed out, "Ya know that's only gonna make me try harder, right?"

"We don't know where the others are," she reminded him.

"Fuck 'em," Joel told her, "Let 'em hear. I don't give a shit."

She jerked her head back to look up at him with her eyes growing wide.

"You're SUCH a little hellcat and you mean ta tell me that you're worried they'll hear ya? Never bothered us before," he stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

"But –," she started.

"But what?" he questioned, "Hell it's not like they've never heard us before. Ya might not know it but ya tend ta get loud when you're riled up, Kit Kat."

She gasped and he smirked down at her, informing her, "I don't want ya quiet, baby. I want ya loud and proud. I fuckin' LOVE it when I can hear what I do ta ya, when I know that you're enjoyin' it. It strokes my ego just like I'm strokin' your pretty little pussy. You're a dirty bitch, baby. Whether you're willing ta admit it or not. You're the wildest fuckin' thing I've ever known. But I wouldn't have ya any other way."

She bit her bottom lip and he leaned down to gently nip at her cheek, groaning, "You can't fuckin' hide it, Kat. You're gettin' wet for me. The more I play with that pussy, the wetter it gets."

He slid his finger in clear down to his last knuckle, pressing his hand flat against her, and curled it up, stroking the rough pad of his finger against the rough, spongy patch along her upper wall. She voiced a little whine and brought her face down to press it into his firm, broad chest, her fingers clinging to his back as she felt his thumb swirl over her clit even as he rubbed at her other sweet spot.

"Fuck!" she cursed.

"Tell me, baby," he prompted, easing his finger out before sliding it back inside, slowly.

Her fingers tightened their grip and her nails dug into his skin just a little. She moaned, her breath ghosting over his cotton-clad chest, and his big body shuddered.

She grew impatient, reaching her hands down to shove at her shorts and push them off of her hips and down her thighs, letting them pool at her feet before she kicked out of them. Sensing her impatience, he eased his hand away from her, letting his finger slide out of her hot, wet pussy. She knelt down to tug her Doc Martins off of her feet and pull her socks off before she slid her panties down and off of her, kicking out of them too.

When she stood, she found Joel sucking his finger clean and licking her juices off of his hand, his eyes heavy lidded as he watched her. A groan coursed up from his throat and she bit her bottom lip as she reached out for his ribbed t-shirt. She slid it up his body, her hands brushing over his washboard abs and feeling the muscles flex beneath her touch. He lifted his arms to help her ease it up and over his head. She threw it to the floor and then started in on his belt. She eased the buckle open and popped the button on his jeans before sliding the zipper down slowly and carefully. He was as hard as a fucking rock and she didn't want to hurt him. She bit her bottom lip and purred when she discovered that he hadn't worn anything underneath his jeans. She knelt down and helped him out of his skateboard shoes and then his socks before he kicked out of his jeans.

Kat stood and gently raked her nails down over his chest, grazing his nipples. He sucked a sharp breath in through clenched teeth, making a hissing noise, even as his eyes drifted shut. When she reached his abs, she flattened her hands, skimming them down over the firm muscles and toned stomach hidden underneath all that deeply tanned skin. She scratched lightly at his happy trail and he practically purred for her, his eyes opening to reveal dark gray orbs that watched her every move like a hawk.

She took the time to let her eyes roam over his body, taking in every detail. She traced the thick, black, intricate design of the tribal swirls and flames that covered the right half of his body – his shoulder, chest, ribs, abs, and even down to his hip on his front side and the back. His other arm was covered in bright red roses and branches with thorns on them, from his shoulder clear on down to his wrist. He had a wicked looking tribal dragon that snaked its way from his left hip around to the inside of his thigh, stopping just before his knee. And her name was scrawled over his heart in fancy lettering. The man was a canvas but she loved it. Hell she had tattoos of her own and he'd gone with her to get each and every one of them. There was a large pair of tribal wings with sharp, jagged looking edges to each tip that spread across her back and shoulders. There was a black, tribal tramp stamp across the small of her back. And there were a couple of matching black, tribal designs that stretched from her ribs on around to stop just above her waistline, one that ran along the right side of her ribs to her hip and the other on the left side from her ribs to her hip.

She reached down to wrap her hand around his long, hard, thick length, getting a firm grip before she began to slide her hand up and down his shaft. He groaned, resting his forehead against hers and letting his eyes drift shut. She worked the rough pad of her thumb around the sensitive head of his cock, making a few circles, and he drew in a sharp breath. She worked her thumb up over the slit a couple times before easing her hand away from him.

"You bring a WHOLE new meaning ta the phrase 'cock tease', Kit Kat," he teased, his voice growing even deeper and huskier.

"I think we'd better take that shower," she commented.

He groaned in defeat and she didn't miss the pout that curled his full, sensual lips downward.

"Easy, baby," she told him, leaning up to press her lips to his for a few seconds before pulling back, "I never said it had to be a CLEAN shower."

She winked at him and asked, "Do we still have any more of those condoms?"

He smirked down at her and nodded, reaching down into the pocket of his jeans to pull one out. He ripped the packet open and she gave him a wicked little grin, reaching out to take the rubber circle from him.

She popped it into her mouth and got down onto her knees. He groaned, tipping his head back. He knew all too well what was coming and she knew it. He let his eyes drift shut as he waited. She smirked before reaching out to wrap her hand around the base of his impressive cock. She opened her mouth and got the condom situated in her mouth before she slid her mouth down on him, sliding the rubber down over his dick. She worked her mouth down as far as she could before she used her hands to slide it the rest of the way down. She smoothed it out and made sure that there were no holes.

She got back up onto her feet and reached down for his hand, tugging him after her. She turned on the hot water and waited for it to heat up. He wrapped both strong, tattooed arms around her slender waist while they waited for the water's temperature to rise, pressing his front to her back. She felt the head of his dick prodding at the small of her back and giggled. He used one hand to brush her long, wavy, dark brown hair away from her neck before leaning down to start pressing hot, wet, open-mouthed kisses to her skin. She tilted her head in the opposite direction to give him more room to work with and he gently sank his teeth in.

Kat voiced a moan, one of her hands coming up behind his head, her fingers feeling the tickle of his buzzed, dirty blonde hair.

He bit down a little more and she tipped her head back to rest it against his shoulder, her nails raking lightly over his scalp and one of the arms he had wrapped around her waist.

"Joel…" she murmured, hinting to him that they should get into the shower.

He chuckled against her skin and but released her as a shiver raced down her spine at the sensation of his lips vibrating against her skin.

She pulled the shower curtain back and stepped into the tub. He was quick to follow. He reached out to grab her by the hips, spinning her around and making her gasp at the sudden movement. His hands slid down and around, grasping her ample ass in his large palms and long, thick fingers. He hoisted her up onto his hips and pressed her back into the wall of the shower, his lips smashing into hers even as she voiced a little cry of surprise into his mouth. He slid his tongue right inside, their tongues tangling as his hands slid down to cup the bottom of her thighs as he rested their weight against the wall and pressed his body right into hers.

The water sluiced down over him as he rocked his hips into hers, poking and prodding at her to show her that he was there, that he was ready, that he was SO fucking hard for her. He eased back from the kiss and looked down at her, those gray eyes so dark and hazy with lust.

Kat knew what the pause was for. He needed to know, had to hear her say it. He wouldn't proceed if she didn't voice her okay. After all the shit she'd been through, the LAST thing he ever wanted to do was make her uncomfortable or make her feel like he was pressuring her or rushing her. He'd told her time and time again that she could tell him to stop at ANY time, that he didn't want her to hesitate to tell him if she didn't want to do something or she didn't like something or if something he did was painful.

She nodded her head and reached up to cup his face in her hands, pulling it back towards her own so that he rested his forehead against hers and gazed into her eyes. She nodded to him, her eyes never leaving his.

"Joel, it's okay…" she reassured him, "I want this. You have NO fucking idea how bad I want this."

He nodded then and smiled down at her.

She smiled right back and his lips found hers as she reached down between them with one hand, skimming her nails gently down over his abs and stomach until she found her destination, wrapping her hand firmly around his cock and guiding it RIGHT where she wanted it. She had him all lined up. Now all he had to do was thrust his hips and they'd both be thrown into bliss.

But he took his time, sliding into her slowly, inch by inch. She tipped her head back, voicing a loud, breathy moan as her hands found his shoulder blades and her nails dug into the skin that covered them.

"Fuck!" she cursed, "Joel, baby, MOVE."

He was only halfway inside and she couldn't take this slow pace anymore. She wanted him INSIDE and she wanted him in there NOW.

He used his grip on the bottom of her thighs to pull her closer, sliding deeper inside of her, and she rewarded him with another moan. But he was going FAR too slowly. She knew that he was teasing her. She rocked her hips, pressing them RIGHT against his and angling them so that he fit all the way inside of her, her hot, wet, tight walls gripping him snugly. She might've had plenty of men in her past but she'd NEVER had a man as big as Joel was. And he'd taken GREAT pride in that little fact when she'd disclosed it with him. He was just under 7 inches long and he was thick too, just the PERFECT size.

She brought her head back down, her whine spilling out of her lips, right next to his ear. He grunted, his hips jerking, and she wrapped her legs tight around his waist even as her hands tightened on his shoulders. She didn't wait for him. She started to rock her hips, rocking against him even as she praised him.

"Fuck! Oh, Joel…" she purred, "GOD you feel so fucking good… You fill me and stretch me like no man ever has. Oh! Ahhh…"

He grunted again, his grip on her growing tighter as he buried his face into the crook of her neck and breathed her in. He brought one big hand up behind her head and the other roamed up to her ass. He guided her movements even as he fisted her hair in his hand. She moaned as he angled his hips, hitting that secret spot inside of her. Hearing her voice that short, sharp moan into his ear made something inside of him snap and he picked up his pace, driving into her harder, faster.

"FUCK, Kat!" Joel groaned, "You're so fuckin' hot, so wet, so TIGHT."

She brought one of her hands up behind his head, crushing her lips to his. She wanted the intimacy, needed to feel his lips on hers, his tongue tangling with hers. She never felt closer to him than when he was buried inside of her and his lips were pressed to hers. She whimpered into his mouth as he angled his hips again and she felt his lower torso rubbing against her clit even as the head of his cock prodded at her g-spot. She threw her head back and gave a loud moan as his mouth latched onto her pulse point, biting gently and sucking to leave his mark on her. Then he chased the sting away, swirling his hot, wet tongue over the mark he'd left on her.

Kat whined, feeling that fire spread throughout her body as the sex flush worked its way up from her stomach, coloring her pale skin. Her thighs began to tremble around him and her fingers clutched at him tighter, her nails raking at his scalp and digging into his shoulder as she tightened her thighs around his narrow hips.

"Joel! Oh, Joel! Fuck! Baby, I'm gonna…" she panted, her breath sawing in and out of her as she felt her muscles tightening up, those cold spots in her thighs and stomach working their way towards each other.

"That's it, baby," he praised, "Come on. Do it for me. Cum for me, Kit Kat."

She gave a loud, breathy whine and her eyes locked with his before she whispered, "Not without you."

He lost it, thrusting into her hard, his hips picking up a frantic pace. She whined and whimpered, clutching at him tightly as she felt his chest brush against hers, the firm muscles teasing her hard, sensitive nipples.

"Joel! Baby, PLEASE!" she begged.

She so desperately wanted to reach that high. But she wasn't going without him. She'd fight it off as long as she had to, even though it was growing harder and harder to do.

But, much to her relief, she didn't have to wait too much longer. She felt his strong thighs starting to tremble and his cock was starting to grow even harder inside of her.

She pressed her mouth to his ear and murmured, "Cum for me, Joel. Don't hold back, baby. I want it. I want it ALL. I'm gonna cum SO fucking hard for you. Just let go, baby, and I'll cum with you."

She felt his cock begin to pulse inside of her and his hips jerked against hers, bucking erratically even as he voiced a strangled growl, his forehead coming down to rest against hers as he gazed into her eyes. His face scrunched up with pleasure but his eyes never left hers. And, just like that, he nodded to her and she quit fighting. She let the pleasure surge over her, the waves of pleasure nearly overwhelming her as they wracked her body.

Her thighs clamped around his hips tight, squeezing at him like a vice even as her inner muscles fluttered around him. Her nails raked down his back and his back bowed as he voiced a loud snarl, loving the way the pain mixed with the pleasure. Her whole body trembled as his hips bucked and jerked harshly as he spent himself into the rubber. Her lips parted as loud, throaty moans spilled out of them. He gave a long, guttural groan that rumbled up from deep within. But, still, their eyes never parted, each of them feeling a much more intense orgasm knowing that the other was lost in their own state of bliss. There was NOTHING better than watching their lover reach that peak and knowing that THEY were responsible for that.

When it was over, she rested her forehead against his shoulder, her chest heaving as she panted, gasping for the air her lungs so desperately needed. His legs trembled and he slowly eased the two of them down onto the floor of the tub before his legs could give out on him. He cradled her in his arms, one of his hands cradling the back of her head as the other arm wrapped tight around her slender waist. She wrapped one arm around him, holding him close, as her other hand came up behind his head and she gently scratched at his scalp with her nails.

When her breath had finally evened out and her heart had stopped racing, she eased her head back from his shoulder and gazed down into his eyes. She cupped his face in her hands and rained kisses all over his face, pressing her lips to his forehead, the corners of his eyes, the tip of his nose, his cheeks, along his jaw, his closed eyelids, and his mouth. She eased back and smiled down at him as he opened his eyes to look up at her. A smile curled his own lips and she got a glimpse of all those straight, bright white teeth. His smile was always so infectious, so contagious. He could make her smile even when she wanted to cry and laugh even when she just wanted to strangle someone.

"I think we need to get clean," she told him, "I've got supper to make or the boys will start bitching."

Joel just chuckled and nodded to her.

Kat was quick to get dressed after hopping out of the shower and drying off, leaving Joel in the bathroom as she took their dirty clothes into the bedroom they shared. She hurried down the stairs and found the other 4 members of the group hanging out in the living room area of the cabin they were staying in.

Merle was the first to turn his head and look over his shoulder at her.

"Well it's ABOUT fuckin' time, Pussy Kat. Jesus! You two must've gone 5 rounds up there. Took ya long enough," he razzed.

"Oh shut up, Dixon," she replied, her own voice holding a teasing tone, "It was only ONE round. Some men actually have stamina, ya know? Besides, I'm getting ready to cook RIGHT now."

"Whatcha gonna fix me, Kitty Kat?" he questioned.

"Well I think we'll have 'whatever the hell I feel like fixing' for a main course and maybe a side of 'eat it or starve' and 'fuck off' to go with it," she joked.

"OOOO…" Axel said, smirking over at Merle, "She really told you."

"Whaddya expect?" Rafe chimed in, "She's Hell Kat, remember?"

Kat giggled as she went over to check their stock of food. She nodded to herself as she grabbed a couple cans of corned beef hash, a pack of pepperoni, a small box of rice, and a can of sweet peas. She headed over to the cabinet where all the pots and pans were located and pulled a large skillet and two small pans out.

She heard heavy feet on the stairs and knew that Joel was coming down to join the group. And, sure enough, he gave the boys a quick greeting.

"Hey, shitheads. You been harrassin' my girl?" he teased them all.

"Just a little," Merle answered.

"We wouldn't be us if we didn't," Rafe retorted.

"Ya must've really given 'er a good, 'ard fuck dare, Joel," Liam cracked, "We could 'ear you two clear down 'ere!"

Kat grinned to herself, her back facing the boys as she found the can opener and started opening the cans of food she was about to prepare. The boys were ALWAYS giving each other shit. And she was just as bad as the rest of the group. She knew that Joel would be smirking, that male ego of his swelling at the idea that the rest of the boys could hear him pleasing her and coaxing all those sounds of pleasure out of her. She'd hear about it later tonight, no doubt.

She heard someone approaching her before one tattooed arm reached out around her and she heard Joel ask, "Need water in one of these?"

She nodded to him as she reached out to turn on the burners she'd be using. She told Joel how much water she needed him to pour into the pan before he filled the pan with some water and set it on one of the burners. She opened the can of peas and dumped them out into the other pan. Usually she liked to fix them with butter, salt, and pepper. But they didn't have any of those things so she'd just fix them in their own juice.

She dug around in one of the drawers until she found a spatula that she could stir the hash with. It always stuck so damn bad to the bottom of the pan. She felt those strong, tattooed arms wrap around her slender waist and she relaxed into his embrace, letting her dark chocolate colored eyes drift shut as she leaned back into him. She brought her arms up to wrap them around his and he rested his chin on her shoulder, hunching over her a bit. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and she turned her head to catch his lips with her own. A long, slow, passionate kiss ensued and the boys hooted and hollered them from the next room.

"Atta boy, Joel!" Liam cried.

"I don't know how I feel about you two suckin' faces over top of my food," Merle teased.

"What? You two didn't get enough of each other in the shower?" Rafe joked.

"Looks like they're back for seconds," Axel chimed in.

Joel eased one arm away from her and waved them off, shutting them up before he pulled back from the kiss.

"Shuddup! All of ya!" Joel scolded lightly.

They all chuckled and went back to whatever conversation they'd been sharing before they'd noticed the couple kissing in front of the stove.

Kat returned her attention to their food, stirring it all. She felt Joel's other arm come back to resume its place around her middle with his other one. She reached one hand up and back, gently scratching as his scalp as he practically purred for her, nuzzling at her temple with the tip of his nose and those full, sensual lips. He pressed a kiss there before breathing in the scent of her shampoo and giving a groan.

"Ya smell good enough ta fuckin' eat," he murmured into her ear, nibbling along the rise of it.

A shudder raced down her spine and she giggled, informing him, "Well, if you're a REALLY bad boy, I just might let ya have some dessert after dinner."

"We don't have anything sweet ta eat," he pointed out.

"Oh yes we do," she replied, "It's sweet and creamy. You tell me it's your favorite ALL the time."

He perked up and asked, "We have ice cream?"

She rolled her eyes and lightly jabbed him in the ribs with her other elbow before retorting, "NO. We don't have ice cream. THIS treat is wet and juicy. And it's getting wetter by the second. You keep that nibbling shit up and it'll be as wet as the fuckin' ocean before we're even done FIXING dinner."

He chuckled into her ear and another shudder raced down her spine. That deep rumble was intoxicating, just like the rest of the man that was holding her, all wrapped up safe and snug, in his arms.

"MMMMM…" he growled quietly, "I REALLY want that for dessert. I'll be as bad as ya want me ta be as long as that pussy spills cream for me. You want me ta eat that, Kit Kat?"

She voiced a soft moan and answered, "You know I do. When have I EVER turned you down when you've wanted to eat my pussy?"

"Not even once," was his answer.

"You're damn right. If you weren't so wicked and irresistible, I just might be able to," she agreed.

"Hey! Food now! Sex later!" Merle shouted at them.

They both laughed and Kat looked down to find that the water was nearly boiling over in the pot she was going to fix the rice in.

"Oh! Shit!" she cursed.

She was quick to turn the burner down and lift the pan off of the burner for a bit until the water settled down a little. She dumped the rice into the pan and then stirred the hash before stirring the peas. She knew that the hash would take the longest to cook.

Kat set a plate down in front of each of the boys, making sure that Joel got his first before setting Merle's down next. She always made sure that Joel was served first, wanting to make sure that he had enough, and she waited to take any food for herself until after all the boys were served to ensure that they all got enough. She set a plate in front of Rafe and Axel and, finally, Liam. She looked over at Joel and he pushed his chair back away from the table a little, patting his thigh. She grinned at him and picked up her own plate, going over to take a seat on his lap and setting her plate down next to his at the table. She looked around the table to make sure that she'd poured them all a glass of water before giving them their food and she found that the men were all digging in heartily.

She grabbed her own fork, shoveling a big bite of hash onto it. It was one of her favorite foods before the zombie apocalypse had broken out and she STILL loved it. Granted, most people didn't like it. But the boys had been quick to get used to it when it was "eat what we have or go hungry". Beggars couldn't be choosers when it was the end of the world. They had to make do with what they could find. So she'd fixed up a couple cans of corned beef hash and made white rice with sweet peas and pepperoni slices in it – peas to add something sweet into the mix so that it wasn't like eating straight salt and pepperoni to add some flavor to the rice.

It didn't take long for their food to pull the disappearing act. When they were done eating, they all piled their dishes up into the sink and headed into the living room to relax a bit.

"So what did you do before all of this shit?" Merle asked Joel.

"I was a gang leader," Joel answered honestly, "I ran one of the most notorious gangs in Boston with my boys Rafe and Axel over there."

Merle's brows rose and he nodded slowly.

"What about you, Irishman?" Merle questioned, looking over at Liam.

"I was a prison guard," Liam answered in that thick, Irish brogue.

Again, Merle nodded.

"And you?" he inquired, glancing at Kat.

She looked away from him and Joel wrapped an arm around her shoulders, shooting Merle a glare and answering, "She doesn't like ta talk about that."

Kat rested her head against Joel's shoulder and he rested his chin on top of her head.

"Fair enough," Merle commented.

"What about you, Dixon?" Kat pressed.

If he could ask everyone else what THEY had done then, by damn, he could answer the same fucking question.

"I was in and outta jail, mostly," Merle replied with a laugh, "I was high on this or that. I beat the shit outta this guy or that one. I worked this odd job or that one, just ta make ends meet. I guess I'm just like you guys. I did what it took ta stay alive."

Joel's brows rose and his lips curled downward as he nodded in an "I guess so" expression. The rest of the guys nodded.

"So I guess the odd man out here is the Irishman," Merle commented.

Liam just laughed and shook his head, telling him, "Doesn't mean I was a straight-laced guy, Dixon. I got into me fair share of trouble. Dey 'ired me 'cause dey knew dat I wouldn't 'esitate ta use brute strengt ta break up a fuckin' fight. I was da underdog dare in da prison. I didn't really 'ave a lotta friends at da fuckin' prison but I 'ad plenty of Irish friends in me neighbor 'ood. I did just as much stupid shite as da rest of ya but I made sure I wasn't caught."

He winked at them and they all laughed.

The group made small talk until, one by one, they started filtering out of the room. Merle left first. Then Axel left. Rafe left a few minutes after him. Joel made sure that Liam was okay to take the first watch before he nodded to Kat. She smiled up at him and pushed herself up onto her feet.

He stood beside her and said, "All right. Let's get ready for bed."

She started to head for the stairs but he reached out to gently wrap his hand around her wrist before she'd gotten more than a couple steps away from him. She turned back to look at him, her dark brows wrinkled in confusion.

"What –," she started to ask before he smirked at her and reached out for her

"Oh!" she cried in surprise when he tossed her over his shoulder.

She looked down at the floor, which was a long way from her face, and clawed at the back of his shirt.

"Don't you drop me!" Kat shouted at him, "Don't you FUCKING drop me!"

He loosened his hold on her just a smidge and let her slip a little before tightening his grip again. But she screamed, thinking that she was falling, and grabbed fistfuls of his shirt.

He just laughed and she growled, "Oh you FUCKING prick!"

He chuckled some more and landed a big hand on her ass in a loud SMACK.

"OOOO! You wait 'til I get down. I'm gonna kick your ASS!" she threatened.

That only made him laugh harder.

"I see now why dey call 'er 'ell Kat," Liam joked as Joel carried her up the stairs.

He carried her into the bedroom they shared and gently laid her out on the bed. She glared up at him as he eased away from her to go close the door. Then he returned to the foot of the bed and reached back and grab the back of his shirt, tugging it up and over his head to drop it to the floor.

"You still want me ta eat that pussy?" he asked her, a wicked little glint in his eyes.

"No!" she huffed, crossing her arms underneath her ample chest to push her breasts up and together.

His eyes were drawn to them and he licked his lips.

He leaned down, resting his hands flat on the bed as he brought his lips just a hair's breadth from hers, asking, "You sure about that?"

Her breath hitched in her throat as she gazed into his eyes. But she nodded her head, remaining steadfast in her choice.

He shrugged his shoulders as he stood straight again and said, "You'll break by morning. Hell YOU usually attack ME of a morning. You always were horniest first thing in the morning."

She glared up at him and retorted, "We'll see who cracks first."

She was going to pull out all the stops just to torture him.

Kat reached down to lift her shirt up and over her head, letting it fall to the floor. She reached back to unhook her bra and slid the straps down off of her shoulders. She stood, letting it fall to the floor too. She tugged her short, cotton shorts down her long, slender, pale legs and then slid the thong she'd changed into after their shower down after it. She turned her back to him, crawling up the bed and smirking to herself all the while. She knew he'd break before the night was over if he had to lay next to her naked body all night.

She slid under the covers and settled down on her side, her back facing his side of the bed. She knew that he'd get the hint that she was mad at him if she didn't turn to face him. And, while she wasn't really all that mad at him, she felt like playing it up a little. It always made their make ups better. They never actually fought unless it was something REALLY serious. And she could count on ONE hand how many times they'd ever had a serious fight in the 7 years she'd known him.

She heard his jeans hit the floor and then he started for the bed. He walked around to his side and climbed in. He slid right over towards her and she bit her bottom lip as she realized that he was going to sleep naked too. She felt his hand settle on her hip and he nuzzled her hair off of her neck to start pressing kisses to her neck, hot, wet, open-mouthed kisses. He knew she loved them.

"You really that mad at me?" he asked, his voice soft and quiet, his question almost hesitant.

She smiled to herself but didn't answer him.

Joel's big hand slowly ran down over her hip and the outside of her thigh and he murmured, "Come on, baby. Don't be mad. Ya know I hate it when you're mad at me. And I can't go ta sleep with you mad at me."

Still, she didn't answer him.

"Kat?" he questioned, his voice starting to fill with worry.

He rolled her over to face him and looked down at her, sorrow filling his stormy eyes. His eyes looked even more beautiful in the moonlight that trickled in through the window. She smiled up at him and reached up to cup his face in her hands.

"No," she answered, "You're too damn hard ta stay mad at. If you weren't so damn irresistible and sweet and delicious, I wouldn't have ANY problem bein' mad at you. But I can't do it when you're… well… you."

He smiled at that and leaned in to kiss her. The kiss was long and slow, languid and passionate. It made her toes curl and her head spin. She brought both hands up behind his head and moaned into his mouth as she eased back when she had to breathe.

She looked up into his eyes again and snuggled up close to him, burying her face in his firm, broad chest even as she draped one arm around his waist. He rolled over onto his back so that she could get situated more comfortably and she wrapped one arm around his waist as her head rested over his heart and her leg draped over his hip and in between both of his legs.

"I love you…" he whispered into the dark.

"You know I love you, Joel. You're the ONLY one I've ever loved," she replied, "Ti je zemra ime."

She tipped her head back to look up at him and saw a big grin stretch across his handsome face.

"Dhe ju, minave," he told her, draping his arm underneath her shoulder and wrapping it around her to give it a reassuring little squeeze.

She grinned right back up at him and lowered her head again, resting the side of her face over his chest and listening to the rhythmic thump of his heart. She was quiet for a long time as she laid there beside him, her mind wandering off to somewhere it headed quite often.

She wanted to find a place, somewhere out there, that was safe, a place to call her own, a place to call HOME. She wanted to settle down somewhere, at least for a while. She wanted to know that the group didn't have to worry about anything, at least for a few days. She wanted the whole world to just fade away for a few moments. She wanted to know that they were safe and happy and that they didn't have a care in the world. She wanted to know that they were content for once, that they could just be THEMSELVES. But more than anything, she wanted to find a place where they could forget about everything else that was going on around them, all this damn chaos and all the fucking walking dead creeps, and just rest and relax. She knew that they could ALL use it.

"I know what you're thinkin, Kat," she heard Joel murmur softly, "I know you wanna find someplace safe for us ta settle down. Don't worry. We'll find it."

She smiled to herself as his words sank in. He knew that this was something that weighed heavily on her mind. And he was always quick to reassure her.

"We'll find it," he repeated, gently stroking his big hand up and down her arm.

And she believed him.

-=Daryl=-

Daryl Dixon started out early that morning, before any of the other group members were even awake. The sun was just coming up when he started into the woods, his trusty crossbow slung over one shoulder, his pack over his other, and his hunting knife in the sheath at his belt.

Rick had asked him last night if he wouldn't mind going out hunting today. The group was getting sparse on food and Rick didn't want to pester Hershel by asking Hershel if he would share some supplies with them. Rick wasn't stupid. He knew their precarious situation. They were settled on a man's farmland when he had every desire to kick Shane and Andrea right off of it – Shane for always opposing his views and Andrea for being a negative influence on his youngest daughter. The LAST thing Rick wanted to do was anger Hershel any further and get them ALL removed from Hershel's land.

Daryl was really starting to get sick and fucking tired of the entire group barking out orders at him though. "Daryl, we're running low on food. I need you to go hunting." "Daryl, Lori's running out of her prenatal vitamins and we need some snacks for her to nibble on between meals. I need you to go into town on a run." "Daryl, one of the steers got stuck in the fence and Shane and Rick are busy. I need you to help me get it loose." "Daryl, Rick's been gone a while and I'm starting to worry about him. Can you see if you can find him?" Daryl, Daryl, Daryl. He was going to start telling people no. Fuck them! They were just using him and he wasn't too stupid to realize it. If it was HIM that needed help, no one but Hershel, Glenn, or Dale would help him out. And, sometimes, he kind of doubted even THEY would help him. He was just the "backwoods, backwards redneck". He was good at hunting and tracking. He killed walkers with skill and precision like they'd never seen, taking them down with such ease that it was as if he'd been doing it all his life. But he was no friend of theirs. He wasn't really a valued member of the group. He was just an errand boy, just someone they asked to do their dirty work for them.

Hell, at least if he was on his own, he knew that he'd be able to survive. Merle had never really looked out for him, not until the damn walkers started taking over. Growing up had been rough, worse for Daryl than Merle. Merle never stood up for anybody but himself but Daryl had stood up for their mom since he'd been close to her. She called him her little angel. She called him "the sweet one". He took twice the beatings Merle did because he always tried to interfere when their old man directed his violence at their mom. And his mom always got worse beatings when she stood up for him. Merle was gone by the time their mom died. Daryl was just 9. And he'd never taken anything harder than the loss of their mom. Even Merle's loss hadn't quite affected him like their mom's had. Then again, Daryl still hadn't given up the hope that Merle was still alive, still out there somewhere. He looked for signs of him every day, searching the woods when he went hunting or checking for any hint of someone else's presence when he made his patrols around Hershel's farm.

Daryl knew how to live by himself. He'd been taking care of himself from the time he was 9 years old. Yet he felt like he owed Rick's group some sort of obligation, like he should stick around and see to it that the women and children were safe while Rick and Shane continued to butt heads. Neither one of them was in a very stable mindset at the moment. And Daryl wasn't stupid. He knew the cause of it all. But he'd never open his mouth and let the cat out of the bag. He'd seen the way Shane looked at Lori when he thought no one else was looking, the way they'd both excuse themselves a few minutes apart and head off to meet up somewhere. Hell, as often as she spread her legs for both of those men, it was no TELLING whose baby she was carrying!

Daryl knew more than Dale did about the group. While Dale knew just about every dirty little secret they all held, Daryl hadn't missed a SINGLE detail of the group's little insecurities, their secrets, their fears, their doubts.

Daryl saw the way Carol looked at him after he'd brought Sophia back, safe and sound, and delivered her to her mother. He saw the way she looked at him out of the corner of her eye, like he was a car she'd like to take out for a test drive. It was more than appreciation. There was lust in her eyes when she looked at him. And Daryl wanted nothing to do with it. He had enough problems as it was without trying to go and get involved with a woman. Besides, Daryl had never looked at Carol like that, despite the members of the group hinting at them having some kind of thing going on between them.

He saw the way Glenn and Maggie snuck off all the time, saw the way she'd steal glances at him when she didn't think he was looking and vice versa. He'd noticed the way concern and fear shined in Rick's eyes every time he looked at Lori, like he was afraid he'd lose her or that she'd turn away from him. He'd picked up on the looks Rick had given the rest of the group, knowing all too well that he was terrified he was making the wrong calls where the group was concerned. He saw the way Shane looked at Rick like he wanted to wipe him out of Lori's life. He noticed the way Carl looked at Sophia, like he had a little crush on her. He'd sensed the way Dale watched Andrea's every move, clearly afraid that she'd do something to hurt herself or the others. He didn't miss the way Andrea looked at Shane like he was a means to an end or the fact that Shane always kept his eye on the horizon like he was ready to run. And he DEFINITELY hadn't overlooked the little fact that Hershel didn't trust Shane's judgment and he wanted him off his land. Daryl saw it all.

But no one else from the group could hunt or track. So that left Daryl with hunting duty. And, while Daryl hated the idea that the group just pawned any duties they didn't want to do or couldn't do themselves off onto him, it gave him more time to himself, gave him more time to think. And it gave him more time to look for any signs that Merle might still be out there.

Daryl wasn't stupid. He knew that the chances of Merle surviving alone out there during the zombie apocalypse were slim to none. But he was the toughest son of a bitch Daryl had ever known. And he was Daryl's older brother. Daryl couldn't just write him off, couldn't just consider him out for the count. He HAD to believe that there was still a chance that Merle might still be out there somewhere. So he dedicated the time he spent hunting to looking for any signs of his brother's existence as well.

His steely-colored eyes scanned the forest, looking for any movement, and he kept his ears sharp, listening intently for any snapping branches or rustling leaves.

He heard leaves rustle and was quick to reach back behind him for his bow, easing an arrow from the quiver and quickly loading it into his bow. His eyes darted around his surroundings as he froze in place. He heard the noise again and turned to his left just in time to see a rabbit come scampering out of the brush. He aimed at the rodent, squeezing his other eye shut, and exhaled as he pulled the trigger. He heard the distinct THWACK and the bleat of the rabbit as it punctured the animal's pelt and skin. The animal gave a sharp buck before hitting the ground.

He smiled to himself and joked, "HELLO, dinner."

He made his way over to his catch and bent over to ease the arrow out of it, wiping the tip on his jeans and slipping the arrow back into his quiver. He picked up the rabbit and strung it from his catch line – a coil of plain old rope – by its hind feet. Then he set out on his search again.

Daryl stopped to eat around noon, finding a sturdy log to take a seat on and resting his legs. He set his pack in front of him, between his legs, and opened it. He pulled out his bottle of water and his pack of smoked deer jerky from the last hunt he'd made a couple days ago. He figured he'd eat it and save his trail mix in case he got hungry before he got back to the campsite.

He eased a piece of jerky out of the bag and took a bite out of it, glancing down at what he'd managed to catch so far. He had 3 rabbits strung up on his catch line, hanging by their back feet. He hadn't been able to spot any larger game today. And the squirrels were getting smart. They stayed up in the trees and sassed at him from a distance. He knew that he could've killed them if he really wanted to. But he preferred rabbit to be honest. Their meat was tenderer and it was sweeter, along with the obvious fact that there was more meat on a rabbit than there was on a squirrel. And he needed more of their pelts to finish the blanket he was working on back at his little campsite. Winter would be coming soon and he'd need a good blanket of a night. There seemed to be an abundance of rabbits in the woods and their pelts were larger and softer than those of squirrels. He hadn't run across more than a couple foxes or possums and even the coons were hard to find anymore. So he'd started making himself a rabbit fur blanket. And he only needed a few more after today's catch to be able to complete it.

He finished his jerky and looked down at the rabbits once more. He sighed and tossed the empty bag back into his pack before closing it and slinging it over his shoulder. He swung his crossbow over his other shoulder and pushed himself to his feet, bending over to retrieve his string of rabbits.

He took a good look around before starting off again. He couldn't complain though. He hadn't come across a single walker yet and that was practically UNHEARD of since the walkers seemed to be heading out of the cities and looking for a new source of food.

Daryl found a set of large footprints in the dirt just when he was ready to give up his hunt and head back to the campsite. They were probably a size 10 work boot, the same size Merle wore. Daryl's hopes soared as he stopped and looked around the forest.

"Merle?" he called out.

There was no answer, other than that of a squirrel chattering at him a few trees away.

He brought his hands up to cup them around his mouth, repeating, "Merle?!"

Still nothing.

But he didn't let that discourage him.

He followed the footprints, picking up his pace until he was nearly jogging as he tracked the pair of boot prints.

The prints stopped at a creek and he took a good look around again, calling out into the woods for his brother. But there was no answer.

The part of the creek where the footprints ended was shallow though. So maybe he'd walked through the creek and over to the other side. So Daryl decided to cross the creek, just to be safe. He found more prints on the opposite bank and he followed them, jogging in his anticipation to find the person wearing those shoes.

But he slowed his pace as he reached a small clearing and found a small campsite. There, hunched over as he sat on a log, his back facing Daryl, was Merle.

"Merle?" Daryl questioned.

He heard something fall and his brother slowly turned around on the log to face him. But it wasn't Merle. It was a walker. It had only LOOKED like Merle with those broad shoulders and short, gray hair. Its face was covered in blood, the thick, crimson liquid surrounding its mouth. Its eerie, bright yellow irises were surrounded by bloodshot vessels in what had once been the whites of its eyes. It snarled as it started to get up.

Daryl was quick to pull an arrow from his quiver and load it into his bow. He pointed it at the undead fucker's head and pulled the trigger as the rotting geek tried to shuffle around the log and head towards him. It dropped, lifeless, to the forest floor with an arrow sticking out from between its eyes and Daryl went over to inspect it.

His eyes ran over the wide build, broad shoulders and thick chest and torso, and narrow hips. The walker stood at probably around 5'9", the same height as Merle. It was wearing what was left of a blood-soaked, once-white, V-neck t-shirt and a pair of black jeans that were now covered in dust, dirt, and blood and filled with holes here and there. On its feet were black work boots, just like the ones Merle had worn.

Daryl sneered as he looked at its face. It wasn't Merle. It had never BEEN Merle. The facial features were too delicate, the nose too long and pointed, the eyes too big, the lips too full, the forehead too small. It might've had the same build as Merle but it was no Merle. He'd followed the footprints for no fucking reason.

Daryl growled and drew his foot back, driving it right into the dead walker's ribcage. He heard a satisfying crack and he drew his foot back again.

"No!" he cried in denial, voicing a shout between each blow he dealt to the walker's ribcage, "No, no, NO!"

He kicked the walker over and over again as the anger stole over him.

"God-DAMN it!" he roared when he'd finally finished, when he was panting and his eyes were starting to well up with tears of frustration and disappointment.

He gave an angry shout and stomped over to another log, sitting down heavily. He brought his hands up to press the heels of his palms into his eyes, rubbing in an effort to keep the tears at bay.

He choked on a sob and hated himself for not being able to control his emotions. But this… This was different. This time he'd really thought he'd find him. He'd spent EVERY goddamn day searching for any signs of Merle since he'd gone to Atlanta with Rick and Glenn and T-Dog and found nothing but Merle's fucking hand and a pair of cuffs and a dull hacksaw with his blood on them on the rooftop of the building they'd left him cuffed to a pipe on. He'd searched for him every time he went hunting, every day he'd spent searching for Sophia until he'd found her and brought her back to the farm, safe and sound. He'd NEVER given up hope. Hell it had been 6 months since the god-awful discovery that Merle wasn't on the roof of that department store in Atlanta and this was the BEST fucking lead he'd ever gotten on him. Those boots were the same size as his. They were the same KIND of boots Merle wore. But that wasn't Merle.

He didn't know what he'd expected to find, Merle holed up in a cabin somewhere, nursing a bottle of beer or hiding out in a makeshift tent while he roasted venison over an open fire. Whatever it was, it wasn't this.

Daryl looked over at the walker again and his eyes narrowed. He pushed himself up onto his feet and headed over to the walker.

He spit on the walker's face and snarled, "Fucker!"

Then he pulled the arrow out of the walker's brain, his boot on its head, and brushed it off on his jeans. He glanced down at the boots one last time and nodded to himself, making his decision. If he ever found Merle, Merle would appreciate some good boots. And they were JUST his size.

Daryl broke through the line of trees that bordered Hershel's farm and started across the open field. He was glad that Dale was up on the RV on watch this shift and not Andrea. He didn't exactly feel like getting shot today. He'd seen Dale freeze and lift his binoculars to his face when he'd noticed Daryl step out of the cover of the forest. But he'd relaxed and waved once he'd realized it was just Daryl.

Daryl looked down at his meager catch, just three rabbits he'd stumbled upon during his hunting trip. He'd already decided who he was going to give them to too. He knew that Lori would turn the offer down since she never seemed to want to eat anything he busted his ass to find for the group. She was always the FIRST to turn down a perfectly good meal just because it had once been a wild animal. Hell that bitch would complain if he brought her a whole fucking cow. It wouldn't be good enough because it didn't taste like McDonald's. Well tough shit, Lori. McDonald's was no longer open, unless it was run by an army of the undead. The thought brought a little smile to his face and made him chuckle. That would be a very amusing sight. He couldn't deny it.

Daryl reached the camper and held up his string of 3 rabbits to show Dale his catch.

Dale grinned at him and Daryl informed him, "One of these suckers is fer you. I'll give the other one ta Carol and Sophia. Hell no one else is willin' ta eat the meat I catch. So the last one's goin' in THIS stomach."

He patted his own stomach to emphasize which one he was talking about and Dale chuckled.

"I'll skin it and letcha cook it however ya wanna," Daryl told the old man.

Dale just nodded and replied, "Thanks, Daryl. I really appreciate it."

"I know. That's why yer gettin' one," Daryl informed him, knocking on the door of the RV.

The door slowly opened and Sophia poked her little head around it, giving a pout when she saw that it was just Daryl. He glared at her and she stuck her tongue out, making him grin. He crossed his eyes and she giggled.

"THERE'S a smile. I saved yer scrawny little ass and I can't even get a damn smile outta ya?" he joked, "That's harsh, Soph. That's REAL harsh."

She laughed harder and he jerked his chin towards the RV, telling the girl, "Why dontcha tell yer mom I gotcha some supper fer tonight? I've gotta skin it first."

"What is it?" she asked curiously.

"You'd be better off not knowin'," was his reply.

He knew she was an animal lover and that she'd have difficulty eating it if she knew what it was.

"I'll bring the meat by when it's ready ta cook," he assured her.

She nodded and he waited for her to close the door before he turned and walked off to the tent he'd set up away from everyone else. He set the boots down next to the old chimney and then started in on skinning the rabbits, making sure to save the pelts. He'd wash them later. He was working on sewing a rabbit fur blanket together. Winter would set in in about 3 months and he wanted to be ready for it when it came. Rabbit fur was PERFECT for the job too. Rabbits were one of the easiest animals to catch while hunting and their meat was both sweet and juicy. But what made them PERFECT for making blankets with was the fact that their fur was both soft AND fairly thick, providing for a warm, cozy blanket. If he could catch 5 more rabbits, the blanket would be complete.

He finished skinning the rodents and set in on fileting the meat off the bones. Once he had the meat cut off the bones, he took his own meat into his tent and then took the meat for Dale, Sophia, and Carol to the RV.

"Whatcha got there, Dixon?" he heard Shane ask from his post on top of the RV.

So they must've changed shifts for watch duty.

"Caught a bit of food today," Daryl answered, "Only had so much meat ta go around. So I figured I'd give it ta Dale, Carol, and Sophia. Lori won't eat a damn thing I bring back."

Shane nodded and forced a laugh, looking off into the distance as he said, "Yeah. She's a fickle one."

Daryl had to fight the urge to roll his eyes at the deputy.

He knocked on the door of the RV and Dale answered it.

"Oh! Thank you, Daryl," the old man told him, "I'll fry it up."

Daryl nodded to him and told him, "I hope it's good meat."

He leaned in closer to tell Dale, "They were adults but I think they were fairly young so it oughta be tender meat. Just don't tell Sophia what it is or she won't eat it."

Dale just nodded to him and said, "You got it. All right. Well, thanks again, Daryl. We really appreciate this."

Daryl nodded and turned to head back to his tent.

Once there, he took his meat out to roast it over the fire he'd built, making smoked rabbit jerky out of it. When it was done cooking, he chowed down.

He heard footsteps approaching and glanced up, seeing Lori marching over towards him, a grim expression on her face. Well fuck. Here came another lecture. He sighed and took a bite of his last strip of jerky.

"Whaddya want?" he asked her, not bothering to beat around the bush.

She jerked her head back, stopping just on the other side of his fire and staring down at him. She clearly hadn't expected him to be so gruff.

"I saw that you took some meat to Dale and Carol. Where's the meat for my family?" she demanded to know.

He just laughed, unable to hold it back, and shook his head.

"What's so funny?" she snapped.

"You," he informed her, "Yer awful fuckin' high and mighty, ain't ya? Ya traipse around here shoutin' out orders and ya don't do a damn thing yerself. Ya just expect everyone ta help ya, ta do what ya say they should."

"I'm PREGNANT, Daryl!" she retorted.

"Ya still didn't do shit BEFORE ya got knocked up," he pointed out.

Her jaw snapped shut with an audible CLICK. He knew he had her there.

"Well why is it that they got meat and we didn't?" she insisted, setting her hands on her hips and tapping her foot impatiently as she glared across the fire at him.

"Contrary ta what ya think, Olive Oil, huntin' ain't easy. Bambi and Thumper don't just run up ta ya and say 'Hey! I'm here! I know yer hungry! Shoot me!' You've gotta track 'em down. And game's kinda scarce out there right now. Ya know, what with all the walkers shufflin' around and everything. But I guess ya wouldn't know that 'cause you never hunt," he commented.

She gasped and growled, "How can you be so insensitive?!"

"Insensitive? I'M insensitive?" Daryl asked, "Comin' from the woman that got pregnant after the world went ta shit? Oh yeah, honey. You've got REAL great fuckin' timing there. Sure, ya might not have planned it but still. And since when is takin' meat ta two members of the group that always sit back and wait fer everyone else ta be served first insensitive? Even before ya got pregnant, you were still one of the first ones in line, makin' sure you always got yer share before others did, makin' sure you wouldn't hafta be the one ta go without. You ever noticed it's always the same ones that go without so the others of the group can have? No. I guess ya didn't. Ya were too busy stuffin' yer own damn face."

"You've got a LOT of nerve talkin' ta me like that, Daryl!" Lori spat.

"And you've got a lotta fuckin' nerve comin' up here ta my little campin' spot ta chew my ass 'cause I didn't drop food by yer place first," he retorted, "Call me fuckin' insensitive, ya dumb bitch. Let me remind ya of somethin' if it slipped that scattered little brain of yers. I found Sophia. ME. I did that. I found 'er out there in the woods, all scared and lonely and half-starved, and I brought 'er back ta the farm, safe and sound. I did that. Not Shane. Not Rick. I did. I was out there lookin' fer her EVERY fuckin' day! I took a bullet and an arrow in the fuckin' process and I STILL didn't stop lookin' 'til I found 'er. So don't you EVER fuckin' call me insensitive again!"

She just jerked her head back a bit and blinked at him, staring at him for a bit before finally deciding to change the subject back to the meat.

"So you DO have meat for us?" she questioned.

"Is that ALL you got outta that ass chewin' I just gave you?" he inquired, tilting his head as he looked up at the dumb bitch.

"No. As a matter of fact, I don't," he replied before she could try to but in again.

"Then why were you stuffing YOUR face?" she asked.

"Because I went out and hunted the damn rabbits down MYSELF!" he snarled, finally having lost his cool, "Now get the fuck outta here! Ya never eat a damn thing I catch anyway. So why the fuck would I just go drop some meat off fer 'yer family'?"

She scowled at him and pointed a scrawny finger at him, gritting out, "I'm gonna remember this."

"Good. Maybe you'll remember it as the day Daryl Dixon filled ya in on some things ya fuckin' overlooked. But I guess I'd better not hold my breath on that one," he sneered, popping the last piece of his jerky into his mouth just to spite her.

She threw her hands up in the air and gave a growl of frustration before stalking off.

"Fuckin' bitch," he muttered under his breath as he watched her walk away, "STUPID bitch is more like it. But I guess she does quite a bit of fuckin' too. I'm insensitive? FUCK that noise. SHE'S insensitive. Wouldn't piss on anyone ta save their life. 'Stead she'd just watch 'em burn, pointin' and laughin' as they suffered."

He heard her screeching in her and Rick's tent and it wasn't long before she was standing at the flap of the tent, watching as Rick walked over towards him. Daryl heaved a sigh. At least Rick was easier to talk to and more understanding than his vindictive wife. And Daryl knew that Rick carried the heavy burden of being the group leader, a role that had fallen onto his shoulders as soon as he had joined the group, much to Shane's disappointment. Daryl honestly believed that Rick always tried to do what he thought was best for the group too, so he'd hear Rick out.

"I know what yer here for," Daryl stated as Rick looked down at the spot next to Daryl for a couple minutes before finally lowering himself into a seated position beside Daryl, who was sitting with his back propped up against the old chimney, or what was left of it at least.

Daryl reached out to poke at the fire with a stick, stirring the small logs in the fire and making them crackle as the fire leapt a little higher.

"Lori can be a little…" Rick started but was unable to finish his statement.

"Bitchy," Daryl finished for him.

Rick actually chuckled, nodding his head, and agreed, "Yeah. Yeah she can."

"Rick, I only caught 3 rabbits today. Game's gettin' scarce out there. I gave the buck ta Carol since he had more meat on him. I gave Dale the bigger doe and I took the small one fer myself. Lori never wants the meat I hunt for. So I didn't bother offerin'," Daryl explained, "I knew they'd appreciate it since they're always the last ta accept food when it's handed out."

Rick nodded his head and surprised him, stating, "I'm not here ta chew your ass, Daryl. I just wanna know the truth. I wanna know what you told her."

Daryl gave a little snort and said, "Yeah. Yer wife kinda has a tendency ta fuck up the details a bit."

Again, Rick nodded.

"She came over and told me she knew I'd taken meat ta Dale and Carol and she demanded ta know where the meat fer yer family was," Daryl explained, "I just laughed. Guess it really threw 'er fer a loop 'cause she got pissed and asked what was funny."

Rick grimaced and asked, "What'd ya tell her?"

"I told 'er she was, that she was always bossin' everyone else around but she never did a damn thing herself. That didn't sit too well with 'er. So she reminded me that she was pregnant and I pointed out that she was the same damn way even before she got knocked up. That shut 'er up for all of about two minutes before she demanded ta know why I gave it ta Dale and Carol but not you guys. So I told 'er that huntin' wasn't exactly easy since the damn walkers were shufflin' around out there in the woods and that I didn't see HER out there huntin'. I caught the food and it was my call ta decide who I gave it to," Daryl answered.

Rick shook his head and inquired, "What'd she say ta that?"

"She called me insensitive! And that shit doesn't fly with me," Daryl informed him.

Rick brought a hand up to run it down his face, stating, "I know you're not insensitive, Daryl. You've helped me more lately than Shane has."

"I spent a fuckin' WEEK out there searchin' fer Sophia and I brought her BACK. I brought 'er back SAFE," Daryl pointed out, "I reminded 'er of the little fact that Dale and Carol go without so the others of this group can have."

Rick nodded and asked, "Is that it?"

Daryl shook his head and finally finished, "She demanded ta know if I had meat ta give yer family and I told 'er no. She asked why I was stuffin' MY face instead of givin' the meat ta her and I pointed out that I had hunted it down myself and reminded her of the fact that she never eats the meat I bring back anyway."

Rick nodded one last time before giving a sigh and apologizing, "I'm sorry she gave ya shit. Ya don't owe us a thing, Daryl. You've provided for this group and kept us safe so far. So you've done all right by me as far as I'm concerned. I just wanted ta know what was true and what wasn't."

Daryl nodded and Rick pushed himself up onto his feet, heading back towards the tent Lori was still waiting in. Daryl couldn't resist the urge to smirk and wave at her and she growled, turning and stomping further into the tent.

Just as Daryl stomped out the last of the embers and was gathering his things to carry them into his tent, he heard a branch snap and his head jerked around towards the sound, finding a silhouette approaching him.

"If yer a fuckin' walker, yer gonna die, ya stupid somebitch," he growled, his crossbow already in his hand by the time he'd finished his threat.

"It's just me…" he heard a quiet, familiar voice reply.

"Yer gonna get yerself killed one of these days," he retorted as she stepped closer and the moonlight played over her pale face, making her pale blue eyes stand out even more.

"I just wanted ta say thank you," Carol told him, "I really appreciate it. And Sophia liked it. Dale didn't tell her what it was and I don't even know what it was. But Dale fried it up and Sophia ate EVERY bit of her portion. We split the meat 3 ways since Dale insisted that we take part of his portion so it would be fair."

He just nodded to her.

"It was good meat," she carried on, "It was sweet and juicy."

He nodded and stated, "It was rabbit. Hunted it down myself. I only caught 3 so I wanted ta give the other two ta you and Dale since you guys always let everyone else go first when it comes time ta pass the food out."

She gave a nod of her own and stepped closer to him.

Daryl watched her warily, unsure of what she was up to.

"You didn't hafta do that. But I'm glad you did," she replied.

"Don't mention it," he commented.

She reached out towards him and he flinched away from her hand, every nerve inside of him shouting at him to get away from the attempted contact. He was so used to being beaten, so used to being attacked, that it was purely instinctual, ingrained into his brain that, every time someone reached out towards him, they were going to hurt him.

She frowned and he glared at her for daring to touch him, even if she wasn't trying to lay a mean hand on him. Daryl didn't LIKE to be touched, in any definition of the word.

She dropped her hand to her side and pouted.

"If what ya came for was ta say thanks, ya said it," he pointed out, turning his back on her and starting for his tent.

He heard her mumble something under her breath that sounded an AWFUL lot like, "Stubborn man." But she didn't follow him. Instead, she turned and headed back to the RV.

Daryl unzipped his tent and headed inside, zipping it shut behind him. He unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it to the floor of the tent before shucking his jeans. He didn't have any clean boxers so he'd gone without again. He'd have to go the stream he'd found today while he was out looking for any signs of his brother and wash his clothes there tomorrow. He knew better than to ask Maggie if she'd do it for him. He'd only made that mistake once and she'd thrown a regular bitch fit. Andrea hadn't done chores since Shane had started teaching her how to use a gun, which she STILL couldn't do very well. He knew that Carol would enjoy washing his boxers a little TOO much and that she'd want to spend half a fucking hour talking his damn ear off after she'd finished washing and drying them for him since it would just give her another chance to talk to him. And he SURE as hell wasn't about to ask Lori to do it after their spat today, the stupid bitch, not that she'd do it anyway. Hell she'd just pawn them off on Carol or Maggie to wash instead and then he'd be back to square one.

He laid down on his cot and pulled what he had done of his rabbit fur blanket up to his hips, covering only the necessities. The blanket was long enough to cover him from chin to toe with about a couple inches to spare at the bottom but it was too hot for covering up completely. It just needed 5 more rabbits to make the blanket wide enough to cover his cot, not including the ones he'd caught today. He'd have to wash them tomorrow too so that he could sew them into the blanket.

He stared up at the ceiling of the tent, his mind wandering like it always did of a night. He wondered where Merle was, if he was safe, if he was hurt, if he was even still alive. But he hadn't given up hope that he was still alive. He COULDN'T give up hope because Merle was all he had left, all he knew. While Merle hadn't really looked out for him, he was the only company he'd known once they'd met up after the world went to shit. He was the only one that UNDERSTOOD Daryl, the only one that had ever given a shit about him. Before meeting Rick's group, which was run by Shane at the time Daryl and Merle had stumbled onto them outside Atlanta, Daryl had only had Merle for company. And, while he wasn't the best of company and he wasn't exactly the most reliable of people, Merle WAS his brother, the only family he had left. Daryl couldn't just count him out of the fight.

Daryl was a restless sleeper, usually taking an hour or so to fall asleep after he lied down and usually falling into a fitful sleep, plagued by nightmares from his childhood or things he'd seen since the walkers had taken over and started killing anything living. He always woke early, just before the sun rose, and made a patrol around Hershel's farm on the days he didn't go out hunting, making sure that nothing was out of the ordinary. Hell, if he was honest, he'd like to start doing a patrol when he first woke up and right before he went to bed. He was the first to rise and the last to turn in. He liked to stay busy. And he didn't exactly get much sleep. So it kept his mind off of things he didn't want to think about.

Finally, he fell asleep, his eyelids fluttering further and further shut until he couldn't fight it anymore and sleep took over, enveloping him in darkness.

The last thought on his mind before he slipped into unconsciousness was that of finding a place to call home, someplace safe and warm and welcoming, someplace where he belonged, where he was valued and wanted. But he knew he'd never find it. Places like that didn't exist for him.

Translations:

Ti je zemra ime – You are my heart

Dhe ju, minave – And you, mine

Lyrics from:

All for Nothing by Plan Three

Well, what did you think? Did you enjoy it? Did you think it sucked? Was it better than the original? You guys keep being shy and I might mistake your silence for you not liking the story. And then I might not write any more of it. NO review is a bad one. All I'm asking for is your thoughts. What parts did you like? What parts didn't you like? Why did you like it or dislike it? It's really that simple. The more feedback I get, the better idea I'll get of what you would like to see more of and what you don't want to see happening in the story. Believe it or not, I DO like to please my readers. But, when they're silent, I don't know what they're thinking. *laughs* I can't read your mind, guys. So send me a review or, if you'd rather, you can send me a personal message with all your thoughts and comments on the story. The more detail, the better because it gives me more insight as to what your reactions were. If a writer can't effect their audience, they're not doing their job. So this gives you the chance to give me all the feedback you want.