Sometime a week later..
My dearest love,
Hey J, it's me Paul. How are you, love? I miss you like mad, and i'm sorry I haven't been writing or calling much, been really busy in the studio and with shows, I hope you understand. How's school going for you? Only two more months left! I bet you're excited! I hope everything's going good with you, everything's good with me. I can't wait to hear from you.
Love, Paul xxx
I finish reading his letter, which I had found on my dresser when I got home from school. I fold it up and put it back in it's envelope and set it on my bedside table. We had been writing each other right after he had gotten home and we were pretty persistent with it, but I didn't feel like writing him back right away, like I would usually. Instead I attack my homework, which I had tons of it, and tried to get that done soon so I wouldn't have to stay up late since I was tired already and wanted to go to bed at a decent time because I hadn't been sleeping well the past two nights. I hadn't had a good day yesterday or the day before. The stress of school was overwhelming and Holly and I were fighting. She kept on bugging me about why I hadn't been myself for the past week and she wouldn't let it go. I know she was just caring about me, like a friend would do, but it was incessant. To top that off, she bugged me about him or as she knows him as "James". She was asking if we were dating, why she hadn't seen me with him and dozens of other questions that were personal and that I didn't answer. I get to writing him back finally and pull out my notebook and a pen.
Dear Paul,
Hi honey, I'm alright. How are you? It's okay and I understand, I've been really busy with school and that's why I haven't answered some of your calls or gotten back to you, I'm sorry. School is fine, real stressful like always. I had a ton of homework tonight and I have my big state test friday and I'm dreading it. I can't wait to be done with high school, it's all so overwhelming. Yeah I guess everything is, Holly and I are still fighting though and I don't think college is going to happen for me, my parents told me yesterday that we won't be able to afford it and even with financial aid and the grants I'm trying to get, I don't think it'll happen, I don't know what to do because my future is relying on this. I miss you too, so much.
Love, J xx
I write back and vent to him. One of the many things I love about paul is that I can tell him just about anything and he's made it known from the start that he'll always be there for me, with whatever I have going on. He's really the best. I have those moments where I wish he could physically be here and comfort me through his presence and actions, other than his words and voice. It still means a lot to me and it's the best he can do, but I still miss that and want that.