DISCLAIMER: First and foremost I would like to clarify that the following was written to entertain and amuse the public and to mock the cliches and atrocious mistakes FanFiction authors tend to make. I apologise if any of this offends you. However, I withdraw this apology if you continue to read becoming more and more incensed at the content and flame me at the end of it - you are choosing to be offended. And yes, I don't usually write like this.
CHECK OUT MA BLING BLING YO
Because you're so cool with your MP3 player and your hard-core language.
It was another fine sunny day in the city of Tokyo, so it may have seemed. Our heroine Hinamori Amu lay peacefully in her pink plush bed, her luscious strawberry hair sprawled across her cushion. With a groan and a cough her eyes fluttered open, unable to stand the harsh rays any longer. She glanced at the clock as she did so, her eyes widening at the sight of her alarm clock.
"FUCK!!! I'M SOOOOO LATE!!!!!!" she exclaimed, jumping out of bed. In a flash she was ready, ready to take on the world. Her Shugo Charas floated next to her, wiping the sleep from their eyes.
"You'd better tell your friends you're late for the movies!!!" said Ran, pink hair ruffled. Amu nodded in agreement and quickly brought out her cherry pink Samsung SI9271635472918263526718273100548063928 flip-top. Running down the stairs she sent a text to her best friend, Rima.
rima i gonna b l8 2 d moves. il cach up xox ily
Sighing in relief she jumped out the door and opened the door to her garage, revealing her Aston Martin Turbo-Astra Ascent Luxury Deluxe Edition. Slipping on those sunglasses that celebrities wear she sped down the street, eager to make it to her date.
Amu just made it. She flipped open her Samsung SI9271635472918263526718273100548063928 flip-top once more and found a reply to the message she had sent before.
NEW MESSAGE FROM [xxBFFLxx]
hey babe dun wory well w8. tada is hear xoxo ily
The pink-head felt her face grow hot. She sent a message back.
omfg u serius!??!!i told u i didn't wnat him to com!!!!! xox ily
She then switched her phone profile from 'SILENT' to 'NORMAL', just in case Rima decided to text her back and her phone refused to vibrate (she just knew she should have brought her reliable iPhonePrime3000 instead!)
And as soon as she walked into the cinema's lobby, her cell phone began to ring:
Are we an item?
Girl quit playin'
We're just friends,
What are you sayin'
Take another look right in my eyes
My first love, broke my heart for the first time
And now I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm likeBaby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine -
She snatched her phone from her Prada bag and answered in a rushed voice.
"Hello?!"
"AMU! WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!?!?!?? RIMA SAID YOU WERE GOING TO BE LATE!!!"
"Hey, Yaya!! Sorry, I woke up a bit late!!!"
"YOU'D BETTER HURRY UP THEN!!! We're waiting by the gates!!"
"Cool!!! I'll be there in a bit – what movie are we seeing???!!!?!?!"
"Avatar?!!You know, the one with the blue people?!?!?! Rima got tickets in IMAX 3D!! IT'S GONNA BE SOOOO COOL!!!!!111"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!!?!?! I'VE ALREADY SEEN THAT!!!! Can't we see Clash of the Titans instead?!?!?!"
"I asked Rima about seeing How to Train Your Dragon but Kuukai wanted to see something EPIC so we're going with his idea!!!!"
"How about Paranormal Activity??!!"
"I don't think that's showing anymore!!!"
"Can't we get a refund and watch something better? Is Robin Hood out yet??!!?!"
"I don't think so - SORRY, AMU!! The movie starts soon so you'd better HURRY!!!!"
"OK THEN!! See you there!!!!!!!11"
Amu flipped her Samsung SI9271635472918263526718273100548063928 shut and raced to meet her friends. Through the mass of people she spotted Kuukai, Rima, Nagihiko, Yaya, Tadase and Kairi all lined up, waiting to go. They beckoned to her as she came closer.
"Thank GOD you made it, Amu!!! We were SOOO worried!!!" exclaimed Rima, giving her best friend a hug as they passed through into the cinema.
"Yeah, you should set your alarm next time, Amu-chan," smiled Tadase. Amu's face went red from embarrassment.
"I set my iPhonePrime3000 but I left it on silent!!!! I'm so stupid!!!!" she managed to blurt out. Nagihiko laughed.
"We'd better get inside – they're closing the doors!"
"I can't wait to see the AWESOME special effects that James Cameron has got for us!!!" grinned Kuukai, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.
Kairi rolled his eyes and pushed the chattering friends through the door.
Later that night Amu sat in front of her Macbook MaxiComPAC 360 whilst listening to her iPhonePrime3000's playlist through her snazzy pink headphones, tapping away on her messenger discussing the day's events with her friends.
mynameiscutiepiehas signed in.
mynameiscutiepie says: OMG!! how AWESUM waz dat movei?!?!?!
slikchik says: i no rite? to bad i alreddy sew it :(
clown_kid says: gaaaiz!!! CHANGE UR NAMES!!! so k0nfUsing!!!!!1
slikchik has changed their name to 'strawberrychik2'.
strawberrychik2 says:iz dis betta, rima???!!
mynameiscutiepie says: w8 lemme change mine two.......
mynameiscutiepie has changed their name to 'cutebaby'.
soccerdude101 has signed in.
darkdragon666 has signed in.
clown_kid says: hey gaiz! nice name, kuukai!!!!
soccerdude101 says: thanx!!! i actuly had too think bout this 1 :P
darkdragon666 says: Hey guys.
cutebaby says: HAAAAYY KAIRI!!! WOTS UPP? R WE STLL GOEING ON OUR DTAE NEXT WEK END?!?!?!?!?!
strawberrychik2 says: :O
clown_kid says: :O
soccerdude101 says: DUUUDE!!! u and yaya r going OUT??? snice WEN??!!!?!?!?!!!111
darkdragon666 says: ...
darkdragon666 has signed out.
iwillruletheworld has signed in.
iwillruletheworld says: Hey everyone =)
soccerdude101 says: duuuuude u just missed it!!! yaya and kairi r TOTALY going out!!
strawberrychik2 says: hi tadase-kun :)
cutebaby says: NUUU I DIDN'T MEAAN IT LYKE THAT KUUKA!!!!!11111
clown_kid says: we all no ur secret know yaya :P
clown_kid says: g2g mums home ILY XOXOXOX
strawberrychik2 says: by rima ILY2 XOXOXOXXXXX
clown_kid has signed out.
iwillruletheworld says: Sorry, Amu. I've got to go too. Need to help mum with the laundry. Bye everyone =)
soccerdude101 says: :O but u just got ON!!!
strawberrychik2 says: o ic. bye then =)
Iwillruletheworld has signed out.
soccerdude101 says: o soz amu but I need to go to. bros want to prac sum baseball wit me :(
strawberrychik2 says: thats ok Kuukai :) CYA!!
soccerdude101 says: byyeee! lurver girl :P
strawberrychik2 says: KUUKAAAAIII!!!!!!!!!!!1111
soccerdude101 has signed out.
mysterybluecat has signed on.
mysterybluecat says: guess who :PP
strawberrychik2 says: ...ikuto??!!?!
mysterybluecat says: yup :P
strawberrychik2 says: howd u get my emale??!!!?
mysterybluecat says: utau noes ALL :P
strawberrychik2 says: urrgh u r soooo ANOYING!!!
mysterybluecat says: awwwwww so maen amu-koi :(
strawberrychik2 says: EWWWW!!!!!
mysterybluecat says: jk jk. who wuld want to go out wit u :P
strawberrychik2 says: IKUTOO!!!!!!11
mysterybluecat says: r u blushing?
strawberrychik2 says: n-no!!! OFC NOT!
mysterybluecat says: ye h imS UUUURE ur not. well i g2g. CYA :P
strawberrychik2 says: GOODBYE!!!
mysterybluecat has signed out.
Amu snapped her Macbook MaxiComPAC 360 shut. Ikuto was such a pervert! She made a personal note to KILL Utau in the morning. She glanced at the clock in distress. Midnight already! How was she going to get up for school? Sighing she crawled into her bed, charas already snoring by the bedside. Remembering what Tadase had told her she quickly made sure that her alarm was on by setting both her Samsung SI9271635472918263526718273100548063928 flip-top and iPhonePrime3000 to wake her up.
As soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out.
AFTERTHOUGHTS: Well, that was painful.