Disclaimer:
Not mine. Tom Fontana's. CourtTV's. Not mine.Author's Notes:
This is set during "Requiem for Adena." Specifically following the conversation in the squadroom between Frank and Tim when Frank ask why Tim has the white carnation in his buttonhole.He Wears it For Adena
By Gayle F. Cox-Moffet
He wears it for Adena. The carnation that he kept in his coat buttonhole for two days. He wears it for Adena.
I asked just for the conformation, and he told me it was to cover the smell of death. Cover the smell. That's what he told me.
"I wear it to cover the smell of death."
No, he doesn't. I know he doesn't. He's worked four years in this unit, and he's never done anything to cover the smell of death.
Funny how he decides to start covering the smell on Adena's four year anniversary.
Yes, I am aware of it being her four-year anniversary. Not the anniversary of her death, but the anniversary of the day all the leads ran dry, and his first case became his first permanent red.
It would surprise most of the people in this squadroom to know that I know the significance of the carnation. They think I don't care. They think that I keep Bayliss around to handle half the cases, and to have someone at my side to yell at when I need to release some steam.
Sure, I keep him around for that. I can admit that with no shame. But I also keep him around to keep me humanized in the world of the dead. I keep him by my side to remind me that you can be human and do this job.
Some people, to this day, say he's too sensitive for the job. Some say he doesn't have the conditioning of learning to keep his emotions at bay when working a case. I used to think that; there are times I still wonder.
But then he does something small, like putting a carnation in his buttonhole, and reminds me that you can have emotion and be human in this job without losing your mind to the ugliness we see everyday.
He wears the carnation for Adena, and for all of us. For all of us who fight their emotions instead of learning to work with the emotion intertwined.