No amount of therapeutic console destruction could've put Kylo Ren in a better mood today. He wasn't angry, well, he was, but that wasn't the point, he was only angry, because he was sad. He was having a bout of depression, and he was becoming increasingly frustrated, as there wasn't a single thing he could think to do to stop it. It just wasn't his day, and that wasn't on, it wasn't fair, why should he have to feel this way while everyone else was fine?
Hux appeared to be his usual 'stick-up-his-arse' self, Phasma was as cool and cold as ever, and the troops, well they were an obedient collective, unlikely to feel much out of the ordinary without being told to do so.
Kylo saw it as a great injustice that the day was treating his so poorly, and as such he had chosen to display that in his actions, stalking the corridors with heavy footfalls, staring at individuals he could hardly say he knew, for minutes on end, imagining what he would do to them if they dared cross him, shoving past as many people as physically possible when travelling from one place to another.
It was doing very little to ease the glumness that pervaded him however.
There was no reason that Kylo could see as to why he should be feeling as he was.
The day had started normally enough. He'd woken in his single, slightly chilly bed early, stared up at the ceiling until his alarm had gone off a half an hour later, done a hundred sit-ups and push-ups and then gone to the training room for a further hour to use the running machines, and to practise with his lightsabre in a safe environment. Then he got back to his room, showered for ten minutes in scolding hot water and a further five in freezing cold, ate most of a one person helping of jentacular space mush, dressed promptly, checked his communication devices for correspondences that weren't there and then put on his helmet. By the time he left his room on this occasion, the corridors were starting to fill with people, all of which avoided him as always as he made his way to the bridge. He'd then spent an hour or so drifting around people working at consoles, his movements silent, but his breathing eerily present, until Hux had shown up from a meeting and scowled at him. Kylo then of course spent another half an hour trailing behind the general, just in an attempt to frustrate him, and had then gotten bored.
By lunch, he was back in the solitude of his room, eating a further helping of space gruel, and doing a little bit of research into old Sith lords.
It was as he was leaving his room for the afternoon schedule of more taunting Hux, and disrupting his work force, that Kylo paused and noticed something thoroughly depressing.
He hadn't spoken, at all, all day. Not that it was in his nature to say much of anything at any time, but it was a somewhat upsetting notion all the same.
The repetitive quality of his daily agenda was getting to him as well. He did the same things, day in and day out, in fact, it was so repetitive that his morning and evening plans only differed by one action… he didn't shower in the evening.
Thus the need to, stalk, stare and barge had overtaken him.
Kylo persisted with the obnoxious activities well into the late afternoon, until the corridors were once again waning in their users, and he was running out of people to target. He instead chose to go back to the bridge, finding that it too, was starting to empty of people.
Hux was still there of course, and a few of his closer circle of subordinates. The men and women worked at their consoles monotonously, their eyes fixed on the screens, their hands working at eerily similar paces as they inputted data with exact precision.
Hux was stood at the top of the deck however, his hands clasped behind his back, and his pale blue eyes staring out at the vastness of space. His expression was incomprehensible, an incalculable combination of impassive, and indecipherable.
Kylo approached him head on, and it was only when he was a few feet away that the redhead acknowledged him- it was unclear as to whether he had seen him earlier than that however-,
"Can I help you with something Ren?" he asked, sparing the man in question eye contact,
Still feeling thoroughly out of sorts, Kylo chose to remain silent as a way of answer,
"I see" Hux said, the irony just traceable in his words, "Well, if you change your mind, I'll be here" he sighed, suddenly turning on his heal and starting back down the bridge towards one of the sets of stairs that led down to 'the pit', where his workers still sat stationary at their consoles.
At the very simple interaction, Kylo was left seething. The general had a very specific way of aggravating him, it mostly consisted of the redhead making sarcastic comments and thinly veiled insults at every possible occasion.
Kylo huffed quite audibly, but kept his mouth shut, opting instead to get to the training room where he could suitably use up all of his stored frustration. He stomped across the bridge, his breathing shallow and concentrated, even as he knocked almost head on into a uniformed officer, who stumbled back several feet at the contact, his clipboard holding hands shaking a little. The knight continued on however, and once he was in the empty and closed off training room, he ripped his helmet from his head and tossed it across the room, making it hit the opposite wall with a clatter, and bounce several times across the floor.
He had no idea why he was in so much anguish, why every little thing was setting him off, or how he was meant to stop it all,
Kylo tightened his fists at his sides and then let out a deep sigh. For now there was only one thing he could think of.
The ravenette stripped down to his vest and trousers and started with a rigorous pace on the punching bag, hitting it over and over again, making the chain suspending it from the ceiling whine and shudder with each blow. He would hit it until he felt better, or until it split from the impacts, whatever came last.
After a good hour though, his brow was slicked liberally with sweat, making his drenched hair stick to it, the punching bag was still entirely intact and he was feeling no better,
Kylo sighed and let the bag swing until it was stationary once more, he then gripped it and rested his burning cheek against the cool vinyl, gasping out breaths of exhaustion,
He would have burst into another fit of anger at the fact that his exertion had done nothing to diminish the despair within him, if it weren't for the fact that he had been left totally drained by his attempts.
He resolved to call it a night, having had quite enough of the entire day, and deciding that the only option now was to end it with a much-deserved sleep,
Gathering his clothes, he started from the training room, finding himself once again walking through an empty corridor. He got back to his room in next to no time and promptly dumped everything including his helmet, on the floor, deciding that the day had been stressful enough, and that the clothes were a concern for tomorrow.
Kylo tied his hair into a small ponytail, and collapsed onto his bed, sighing all the while. It took far more effort than it seemed worth, but eyes closed, he managed to lift and twist the duvet to cover most of him, one leg sticking off the bed, and one arm sliding under his pillow, his chest pressed to the mattress.
It took several, several minutes for Kylo to become comfortable, and after perhaps half an hour, he even wriggled out of his trousers, as they had ridden up in his movements and had gotten uncomfortably tight in places.
Eventually, his eyes drifted closed, too heavy to stay open, and in the next moment, thankfully, he was entirely dead to the world.
0o0o0
Kylo woke with a groan, immediately convinced that he'd only drifted off a matter of minutes before, because he still felt entirely drained.
He shifted in the bed, rolling his shoulders and gripping the pillow beneath his head tighter, stretching out his fingers, making them crack and strain,
He took in one deep breath, catching the clean scent of laundered cotton and shampoo on the pillow, and he found himself sighing as he exhaled, instantly relaxed by the gentle smell, comforted even- he was already convinced that the day was bound to be better.
The ravenette was just about ready to fall back to sleep, regardless of what the time was, but as he burrowed his head further into his pillow, an out of place sound pervaded the silence,
It was a chuckle, an actual chuckle, as in, a laugh, from another person.
Kylo froze in place and waited, sure he was hearing things,
The mattress then shifted beside him however, and a warm hand was suddenly placed on his bare back. It traced his spine, his shoulder blades and then even his individual muscles, a slight pressure baring down on them from the delicate fingertips, leaving the knight feeling nothing but conflicted. As disturbing as it was to have an unknown person touching him, Kylo, knight of Ren, in his private room that should've been locked, found that the hands' ministrations felt incredible pressing against his skin, massaging out all of the anger from the day before,
Just as the ravenette had decided to enjoy the contact for just a little longer before concerning himself with who was delivering it, the hands promptly stopped, and another chuckle sounded,
"Do you want a coffee?" asked a familiar voice,
Kylo swallowed thickly, and paused, there was only one thing for it.
He turned his head to the side, and opened his eyes, blinking against the shockingly bright light pouring into the room instantly- that in itself was another peculiarity, even in the morning, the ship was dark, it was in space after all, and all the light was artificial, but this light was definitely from the a sun,
The ravenette's eyes then adjusted and he finally saw, head on, the face attached to the marvellous hands.
Hux was lying beside him in the bed, holding himself up on his elbows, an uncharacteristically bright smile directed straight at Kylo,
As odd as that was, he didn't look out of place in the room they were in.
It was unlike anything the knight had even seen. The walls were painted white, bearing pieces of art and shelves filled with books, the bed was made for two, dressed with clean white sheets, and finally, there were possessions, actual possessions throughout the room. Photo frames, statuettes, even a couple of children's soft toys sat together in a wicker chair in the corner.
Hux was still staring at him, his smile having dropped a little, "Ben?" he asked cautiously, "Coffee?",
Kylo blinked, had the redhead just called him 'Ben'?
He didn't answer to that name anymore, he hadn't for years,
The longer the knight spent in this place, wherever it was, the stranger things got,
He lifted himself off the bed a little, tucking his arms under his body, perhaps in a subconscious effort to cover himself.
Mouth closed tightly, he nodded, opting to avoid eye contact from that moment on, until things started to make sense again,
Hux chuckled once more, and made to get out of the bed, "Looks like it's a little early for someone still, take your time waking up" he then promptly leant in and pressed a soft kiss to Kylo's cheek, making his eyes widen in an instant,
The knight then watched as the other man left the room, dressed in nothing but a pair of tight black briefs and a grey vest, showing off his long slender legs, and freckle covered shoulders,
"I've gone insane" Kylo mumbled to himself, dropping his head back down into the pillow with a thump.