AN:
This one shot has been bugging me to let it be published. I don't know I really like these two and their awkward situations together. I figured this is what goes on behind the scenes. Might do other one shots in this 'verse or something.
If you haven't read the manga yet you should first couple of chapters are a little slow but once you get into to it, it gets better.
Disclaimer: You really think if I owned a sexy blond and a sexy straight-laced army man, I would be here fantasizing?
PS. The other fics are still in business. And some the terms may be offensive to some but those were used in the manga. Its old so…
ErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCa
"What are you doing here you foppish queer?"
That man, that queer sitting in the opened window destroying the peace with his mere presence had golden curly hair, which framed his face and fell down to mid back gracefully with light electric blue eyes now darkened by lust staring seductively. He wore an exceedingly bright red vest and a white scarf to match his body framing white pants.
Even though the blond was an art thief, it was obvious he worked out regularly in order to maintain that body of his…not that the major noticed anyway. He was too busy being pissed off at the smirk on the other's face. It practically screamed this visit would be troublesome. That infernal smirk was really starting to wear on the Major's nerves. What the hell did an army man have to do to get a break around here?
The thief chuckled.
"I'm just here to visit you Major. I thought you would've been missing me by now, seeing as we haven't coincidentally met in at least three months."
He batted his pretty eyelashes for dramatic effect hoping to get some kind of reaction from the stoic NATO officer. The reaction he received was predictable to say the least. They did this so many times it basically became foreplay.
The Major sighed and fixed the intruder with a glare.
"I was blessing the days I didn't see you, but now I notice those wonderful months were just the calm before the storm. Now tell me what the fuck you really want at 9 o'clock at night so I can kick you out. No, even if you didn't tell me you would still be kicked out. You're messing with my schedule!"
The major was obviously not happy with the unexpected visit. There he was getting angry over nothing…again. You would think he got used to it. Whether the army official wanted it or not, the Earl of Gloria always found a way to drop by when they hadn't seen each other for a long period of time and it didn't look like that routine would change anytime soon.
Dorian snickered at Major Klaus's statement. Still so predictably funny. His wording changed each time but the message was always the same.
"Oh Major, Do you even have to ask?"
The blond rest his elbow on his knee and placed his head in his palm. He looked at the Major through half lidded eyes which sent a shiver through the Major's spine. It was a slight shiver, but the Earl noticed and his smile grew to a salacious smirk knowing he was affecting the man the way he wanted.
"I don't care what the fuck you want from me, so get your overly oppressive presence out of my sight and don't let me catch you when I come back from my shower."
"Hmmm. But I wouldn't mind you catching me Major Eberbach. You would be the only one able of capturing the thief Eroica."
The Earl practically purred his answer, but the Major was already well on his way out of the office room and to the shower. Dorian contemplated his next move before coming to a conclusion.
"I guess I could give him his surprise now."
A low creepy laughter rang throughout the office spilling into the hallway to the butler who was finishing his rounds for the night….He decided to leave it alone and hurried back to his quarters to have a much needed rest.
ErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCa
Major Eberbach entered his bedroom with the full intention of getting dressed and in bed at 9:29 sharp. If he sang Mary had a little lamb for a minute he would be asleep by 9:30 on the dot, right on schedule even with the impromptu visit from that annoyingly gorgeous…no the annoyingly foppish man. Major walked into his room and paused.
He should have known that any day that involved the infernal blonde blue-eyed thief would not follow a schedule even if God himself wrote it.
There he was. On Klaus's bed. Naked. Kneeling. With a red bow tied on his back wrapping around his legs and arms so that his arms were tied behind him.
…Why? The birds outside had as much of a clue as Klaus did at that moment.
How? He couldn't even begin to tell you how the thief had managed to tie himself that thoroughly, though he could assure you he wouldn't ask.
Maybe he could just ignore the Earl and still go to sleep; since he was all tied up, he couldn't bother the army man's sleep pattern.
"Major…" came a husky voice from the bed. "Happy Birthday."
The major's eyebrow twitched. Maybe he should gag the queer first.
"My birthday is tomorrow, you pain in the ass."
The earl chuckled. Oh yes. Klaus should definitely gag the queer.
"You think I don't know that? I was thinking I'd be spending the night in here and you could unwrap your present early, even have me for the whole day tomorrow too before I go on my next romantic adventure the day after. So what do you say Major?"
The only thing going through the Major Eberbach's mind right now was Oh Hell NO! He walked over to his closet and let his towel drop fully aware of the hungry eyes raking over his figure. He grabbed his long sleeve cotton pajama shirt and pants, walked to the bed, kicked the Earl to one side and lay down. He was not going to give in to the flamboyant man tonight (Never mind they went through a similar routine every time Eroica visited).
"Oh Major, that was cruel. Hmm. I think you need to get some sexy sleepwear dear. Those clothes do nothing for your figure."
"1: Shut up. 2: I'm sleeping. I don't need to be sexy."
"Very true you're sexy enough to make up for it."
"…Earl"
"Yes Major?" The Earl made sure to add fluttering eyelashes to his response.
"Shut up so I can sleep."
The major turned on his side, back to the foppish queer and proceeded to count sheep until he could finally fall asleep. The blond pouted. Why did the major have to be so difficult all the time? It can't be that hard for Klaus to shower him with affection could it? Well maybe not shower since Klaus was never that type of person. No matter, it wasn't like he was giving up anyway.
"Major dear, if you're not going to help yourself to this delectable feast, then I will do it myself."
Klaus grunted. Like hell he was going to fall for that. Gloria didn't deserve the attention…at least not this time. He was too tired for this shit. His damn boss was extra frustrating today and he had to give six more threats to send his alphabets to Alaska than usual. His perfectly engineered German car needed to be towed, he stepped in dog poop, and the mission he went on was filled with Russian bears, American Yankees, transvestites, and sand paper.
It had been rough, lets just leave it at that.
Klaus was finally drifting off to sleep when he heard a sound that was suspiciously close to a moan. Klaus stopped moving, determined to catch any more sounds. When he heard none, he went back to singing his sleeping song. Once again just as he was slipping into that peaceful oblivion, he heard another moan this time louder and accompanied by a slick sound.
What the hell is the idiot up to now?
He turned on his other side, fully prepared to scold the other when the sight that met him forced all thoughts out of his head.
Dorian. Fuck.
Those two words kept floating within his consciousness as he watched the Earl stroke himself, slowly, teasingly like a lover would. Like the major knows he would. That curly blond hair was disheveled and spread around him in all directions like a sea of liquid gold. His eyes were closed as his pale blond eyelashes brushed against his flushed cheeks. A small sheen of sweat was beginning to form along his body dripping in between his shapely abs down to that thatch of blond curls. Exactly how did he get himself free from such a secure hold…you know what some things are better left unknown to protect one's sanity.
The blond continued to tease himself. His right hand pinched a nipple as his left moved to roll his balls in the palm of his hand. His eyes were closed as he imagined all the times his lover had done this to him. How Klaus would hold the blonde's balls in his left hand while pumping him teasingly in his right. How the major would lick his nipples like it was some type of delicious German candy that the poor army man hadn't gotten a taste of since his childhood. Or when the major was finally inside him, how his face would flush and his beautiful emerald colored eyes would deepen to near black in lust as he came close to pushing them both to their release. All those moments drove him insane.
Dorian couldn't take it any more. He moved his left hand to languidly stroke himself while his right hand left his nipple and found its way into his mouth before it moved down to tease his opening. He pushed a finger in sighing as that feeling of "finally" rolled over him. It had been way too damn long. He imagined the major staring at him with a sultry smirk rarely given but much appreciated when it was. The official would slide his hands all over the thief's body, rubbing him in a sensual massage. He imagined the major pushing two fingers inside him, just like his own two fingers were. Klaus would stretch him, teasing his prostate here and there making sure to give stimulation but it was never enough.
Oh God it was never enough.
That damn Klaus would tease him into a mindless puddle before giving him what he wanted. It was infuriating and kept him coming back for more. His right hand sped up in conjunction with his now three finger thrusts. Oh Dorian was close, if only he could get the Major's hands on his pale skin he would be happy. Just when the thief was tipping over the edge of pleasure, a recognizable strong grip wrapped around his dick and squeezed, preventing that final pleasure. The earl's blue eyes flew open to meet the lust filled green eyes of his lover. Dorian was practically vibrating from his pending release as he stared at the animalistic look in the Major's eyes he had never seen before. Sure he had seen him aroused and lustful, but the NATO officer had never had a look so primal and hungry before tonight. He felt like a damn steak thrown in front of a starving wolf. Then again, the nobleman has never pleasured himself in the other's presence before. Mental note: Do this a hell of a lot more often.
"Get your hands off yourself."
The Earl complied and he slowly pulled the three fingers from his hole, giving a lewd moan just for the Major's hearing pleasure. The man in his decidedly unsexy sleepwear crawled over his teasing lover and ground his erection into the willing body beneath him. He made sure to grab the base of that pale erection so Dorian didn't come just yet. Oh no, he would not get off so easily after thoroughly working the Major up. He grabbed the blonde's arms by his wrist in one hand and picked up a part of the ribbon the master thief had somehow escaped from in his other. As he tied Dorian's hands to his bedhead, he growled into those flushed ears.
"So you come into my house, annoy me with your presence, proceed to mess up my schedule, and then sit there in my bed pleasuring yourself as I try to sleep."
He gave a slow sensuous lick and a couple nibbles to the earlobe as he watched the blond shiver in anticipation.
"Should have just slept when you could you foppish Englishman."
Just for punishment he tied another piece of ribbon right on the base of the other man's cock in the form of a bow.
It was his birthday after all.
ErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCa
Major Klaus von dem Eberbach was a man of meticulous detail. He strived for perfection in everything that he did and accepted nothing less. So you can guess that such a drive for perfection would be brought to the bedroom as well. He will get the Earl to cry for him, beg for him. Tonight, the Earl would be the victim of his perfectionism. The perfect pleasure just for the man tied to his bed.
Dorian Red, Earl of Gloria, would get what he's asking for with interest.
Klaus flipped that scrumptious, lithe body over and came face to face with one gloriously pale backside. By now the Earl of Gloria was hyperventilating. It was always a treat whenever the Major decided to get aggressive, but this was different. They never tried bondage previously and the blond had a sneaking suspicion that his world would be blown to pieces by the end of the night. Whatever he did to get the usual stoic man in such a condition, the Earl would be sure to do it again the next time he dropped by.
"On your knees."
Sir Yes Sir.
Dorian barely had enough time to bring himself up on his knees before a wet muscle was plunged into his hole without warning. His eyes widened and his hips bucked as he tried to get away from the sudden assault but to no avail. He was forced to suffer while Klaus kept his hips in place and would occasionally bring them backwards to impale his tongue deeper into the twitching opening. Now why should he stop at just plundering the little tease when he could be a tease too? By now the Earl was panting and screeching whenever the major would give a particularly deep and rough thrust. Klaus removed his tongue, much to the relief of Dorian only to have his hole sucked for all that it was worth.
"M..Majooooor. Pl…please. Don't…"
He couldn't take it anymore. Dear lord what this man did with his wicked wicked tongue and mouth! The raven-haired man pulled back far enough for him to ask his question.
"Don't what Dorian? Don't lick and suck your hole like it's my personal tasty treat? Don't make your bones melt with just my tongue? Don't make your dick throb with release? You have to be more specific."
Damn. Dorian was damn near ready to come. Fuck the damn ribbon around his dick. He needed the damn thing off him right now. If there was one thing that really got the thief hot it was dirty talk. Is this what masturbation in front of Klaus does to the man? Not only was the stoic man rimming him for the first time, now all of a sudden the major starts talking ridiculously filthy. And that sexy ass accent of his always got stronger when in bed. It just did things to the blond.…wait Gloria didn't want the other to stop. What kind of question was that?
"Oh no! Oh goodness no! I meant don't teeeeee…"
Unfortunately, Major Klaus didn't' have enough patience to listen to what the other had to say now that he could enjoy watching that swimmer's tone body writhe in pleasure. He grabbed the other's dick and pumped one long, hard stroke that had the blond arching of the bed.
What a beautiful pose.
He stuck his pointer finger in the pretty little hole on the pretty earl's pretty little head and heard the earl scream. Hmmm. So scrumptious. Klaus pulled his hand away and licked the pre-come left on his hand, satisfied with the impatient whine the Earl gave him then the aroused groan he released from watching the major lick his fingers. He looked into those crystal clear blue eyes and smirked sensually at the pure lust and longing he saw there.
"I do hope you are ready, Liebling. Because I don't plan on letting you go for the whole night. You should have thought of that before you provoked me."
All the Earl could do was gulp. Looks like the major gets off on bondage and watching him masturbate. Maybe, just maybe he was in a little over his head. One strong thrust of a finger into his prostate (How the hell did he miss that sliding into him anyway…The major was good) blew all thoughts out of his mind for the remainder of the night with a loud bellow in pleasure.
ErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCa
Two days later Dorian Earl of Gloria found himself snuggled quite comfortably onto one major Klaus's chest with the man's arm wrapped around his lower back holding him in place. Now this, he could get used to. He really hoped the major got over the whole "I need to be stubborn with you first and then I will fuck you into oblivion" thing he has going on. Well at least get over the first part. Well the plan was to stay in bed the whole day for the major's birthday and that was a success. So much so that they ended up staying an extra day. Gloria was surprised Klaus hadn't had a heart attack from staying away from work yet. He guessed it was because Klaus was too focused on his task to make the Earl regret keeping him up (which there was no way the Earl could ever regret something like that).
He looked up into the beautiful clean-shaven face as black eyelashes fluttered open. The blond was filled with an inordinate amount of pleasure when he realized the first thing the major's eyes would see as he woke up was Dorian. It left tingles down the thief's spine.
The major just stared at him. Right, it was time for him leave. The earl had his subordinates to return to, more artifacts to steal and more adventures to plan. But the major did the most wonderful thing, he pulled his lover closer and just said "Go back to sleep, Engel" before promptly falling asleep himself. Now he would be a fool to ignore that command especially when such an endearment was attached to it. So with a chest expanding with warmth and a smile on his face, Dorian fell asleep as well.
ErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCa
Dorian was getting dressed in clothes he had started to strategically leave in his major's closet. He was surprised the man hadn't thrown them out yet. The thief had to get back but he really didn't want to. His major was acting…nice for lack of a better word. He didn't know what caused the change in his sexy major, but he was surely welcoming it. It couldn't be just the sex…or maybe it was just that mind blowing. It sure as hell was for the thief.
"Here."
A small little box was thrust under his nose as a decidedly uncomfortable looking major looked off to the side.
"It was your birthday during the time you were gone so I bought something as a present."
Now that was a surprise. It took a few moments for the Earl to collect himself before he accepted the gift. Slowly, he opened it and was astonished at the beautifully crafted pure silver pendant. Hilariously, it was a tank wrapped in vines. The Major was always saying that he wrapped around him like vines and refused to let go. One side of the tank (the side that would be touching his chest) had the name "Dorian, Mein Schatz" carved into it. Dorian very nearly melted into a puddle of goo. He had been brushing up on his German just so he could understand the seemingly random words the major would call him sometimes so he knew exactly what it meant. "My, Treasure." The major already called him angel now he was dubbed a treasure too?
By the romantic city of Rome, did he love Klaus! The man never had to say much to get his point across.
Eberbach grabbed the chain and placed it around his lover's neck. He really couldn't stand the way the other was looking at it, like it was the best gift in the world. Honestly, it was making him a little uncomfortable. He didn't know what to do in this situation. He felt like a schoolboy giving a Valentine's Day present. Sarcasm always saves the day though. He smirked.
"It's supposed to look exactly like a tank, specifically an exact replica of the one you stole from me. You think I can get that back for this in exchange?"
His smirk was full blown now.
"You know, I love you."
Klaus's face very nearly exploded with how much blood ran into his cheeks. Damn the blond and his straight-forward talk. It wasn't something he was used to, which was why he preferred actions. Dorian was always telling him he loved him so the necklace was to show the blonde exactly how important he was to Klaus. Apparently, the Tank necklace was the right action. Dorian looked like he was ready to cry…in a good way of course.
The Earl ignored him in favor of staring and stroking the pendant a little while longer before staring up at his red-faced military man with his blue piercing eyes.
Fuck getting back to work.
He wants his awkwardly wonderful, adorable, socially inept, lovely, fucking sexy Klaus back in that bed and stripped in under a minute.
He was jumping this man's bones until they both couldn't see straight.
"Klaus, love."
Klaus wasn't sure what happened. He gave the Earl the necklace next thing you know the Earl was sizing him up and speaking in that ridiculously arousing husky voice of his with his pupils blown to shit.
"Strip and get on that bed, Klaus."
Well, who knew the blond had the dominating thing in him. Definitely sexy. He started to back up towards the bed, throat dry as the blond followed him while stripping the whole way with that look in his eyes.
"I have to pay you back now don't I? Actions speak louder than words after all." the Earl practically purred. Eberbach gave a full-body shiver as that silky tone rolled down his spine to twist around and leave a pang of need in his lower stomach. Gloria looked like he wasn't going to let Klaus out of the room anytime soon.
As Dorian stuck his tongue down the major's throat like he was trying to suck out his soul, one thought occurred to Klaus. Maybe he should let his butler know he wants his meals in his rooms for the next couple of days again.
ErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCaErOiCa
Hahahaahah these sex addicts. I made it a little fluffy at the end cause I'm kinda of a sucker for it sometimes. Hopes you enjoyed it LOVE YALL REVIEW Please!
