Story Title: A Theory About Hearts
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight Princess.
Author's Notes: Hearts in Zelda fascinate me. I'm never certain if they're meant to be physical, tangible items in their world or something metaphorical. Link kills a monster and gets a heart, Link's fangirls squee and showers him with hearts, and then there's Yeto and Yeta's Heart-felt reunion. Assuming they're meant to be physical objects, in Zelda, life force and romantic feelings can be manifested into physical hearts.
…I can work with that thought.
Just a little something short and for the fun of it. Written and edited in about a day. Not really meant to be taken seriously but hopefully provides some amusement. That and I haven't written every kind of Shad/Link fic possible yet so here's one more.
As a note, I have been having computer problems, though my dad's friend who supposedly knows a lot about computers says our computer is fine. …Personally, I have doubts of my dad's friend's credibility.
Ah, sorry for my ramblings, and as always, thanks for reading.
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Story Title: A Theory About Hearts
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Ashei—No Heart, Link scribbled quickly on his list as he partially stumbled out of Telma's, his head a little woozy and his right eye blackened. It wasn't exactly the reaction he had expected but he guessed it was the one he deserved for surprising her. Still he had thought he would have gotten at least one heart from her but he hadn't. Apparently, she didn't have any feelings for him beyond ally and comrade but, truthfully, Link felt the same about her.
Well, with her marked off his list, Link looked over the names to see who was left. Link had a theory about hearts and today, he was putting his theory to the test. With a list of his closest friends not otherwise married or spoken for in hand, Link had set off to find out who he loved the most.
Zelda, Telma, and Ralis had all given him a single heart. Ilia had given him a Piece of Heart. He had tried to see what his fangirls would have given him but they had all ran off as soon as he approached them, leaving only their usual shower of hearts behind. Midna had given him several single hearts and made him swear to never reveal how he had made it to and from the Twilight Realm without the Mirror.
And by the power of the Master Sword and the Temple of Time, Link had went back in time and found the Hero's Shade when he was the Hero of Time but all he had received from him was a very unamused stare, an angry lecture on abusing sacred powers (and on kissing him), and an order to drop and give him a thousand push-ups, followed up with laps around Lon Lon Ranch until his predecessor thought he had learned his lesson and was close to collapsing out of exhaustion and let him crawl back to his own time.
But according to his list, there was just one person left before he finally knew without a doubt who he loved the most. And most fortunately, he swiftly found that last person just around the next corner.
He was at the market sorting through the apples. With a reasonable amount of people crowding the market, Link made his way through to him as quickly as he could and hoped he did not turn around as Link snuck up behind him.
"Hi, Shad!" Link said cheerfully and smacked him on the back, knocking the scholar forward and nearly causing him to drop his already-purchased groceries.
Link grinned brightly as Shad turned around, pushing his slipped spectacles back up, as he smiled and softly laughed at Link's exuberant greeting.
"Ah, good afternoon to—oh dear, what happened, old boy?" Shad asked as his smile and laughter immediately shifted into concern at the sight of his shiner. "Did some nefarious rogue and you have a row?"
"Nah, Ashei punched me," Link explained, without losing an inch of his smile.
"She punched you?" Shad repeated out of shock, his eyes wide. "Whatever for?"
"Because I kissed her," Link said.
"Ah, well, that would do it," Shad said, with a slight nod of his head to the side in affirmation as he paid the greengrocer. "But, umm, pardon me, old boy, and please do not think of me impolite for saying so, however I was unaware that you fancied Ashei. It honestly comes as a surprise to me to learn that you harbor such feelings for her. Nonetheless, for your spurned affections, I offer my condolences."
"But I don't like Ashei that way," Link said as he accompanied Shad through the market. "Clearly, I don't. I didn't even get a heart from her."
"Excuse me?" Shad paused mid-step and stared befuddled at Link.
"I'm testing a theory about hearts," Link said. "You know that hearts appear when you show a lot of love for someone, right?"
"Yes, well, I have observed this before…" Shad said, his tone reserved and with an edge of sadness and shame as he looked away to the side as if recalling a particularly unpleasant memory. Quickly, he set aside his thoughts and brightened considerably. "I say, what is your theory then?"
"That the more you love someone, the stronger the heart you'll make will be."
"Not to stifle your scientific curiosity, which I wholly applaud and encourage, however I must inform you that your theory has been readily tested and proven countless times before, old boy," Shad said.
"Oh, I knew that," Link casually admitted as they turned a corner into a less-busy alleyway. "I'm seeing what hearts I get from who. I want to know who I love the most from the hearts that appear."
"Pardon me, old boy, however do you not consider simply taking the time to search and weigh your own heart's affections and come to a proper final conclusion that way?"
"Yea, but this is faster," Link said, flashing an unabashed grin. "And a lot more fun."
""Very well then. It is your decision, after all," Shad said, though his brusque tone made it clear he didn't exactly agree with his methods. "I say, might I warn you of the potential consequences of indiscriminately kissing those who care for you most? I realize you are quite aware of the potential harm that may befall yourself, however please take into consideration what effects your heedless actions might have on others. You may misconstrue the wrong intentions by kissing those who love you more than you love them, old boy. And might I add you may also hurt and affront the people who love you most by informing them that you have gone about kissing others for your self-amusement."
"Not to worry, Shad, I'm almost done," Link said. "I just have one person left and then I'll know."
"I am sorry, old boy, but I am afraid you may have misunderstood me. I—"
Whatever rest Shad had to say was lost as Link pressed his lips against Shad's. He had figured the scholar would protest as his groceries scrunched and pressed between them but, aside from a little shifting to try to hold them to the side, he did not seem all that bothered. No doubt Link had taken him completely by surprise.
Even so, Link kept his kiss short and stepped back, their warm lips separating with an audible smack. Link grinned as he saw Shad, his eyes wide in shock and his face as red as a heart, stare back at him.
"W-what was t-that for?" the scholar asked once his sudden surprise subsided.
"I like you," Link said, "and I wanted to find out just how much."
"Well, I can understand perfectly why Ashei perceived it necessary to strike you. I say, old boy, haphazardly smashing one's lips against another's while said person is speaking is not the proper conduct in which to kiss someone. Really, old boy, your sense of romance requires refinement if that is how you believe one should—wait, should there not be a heart somewhere around here?" Shad asked, looking toward the ground for a fallen heart.
"Should there be?" Link asked.
"A-ah, w-well, n-no, I mean, yes, no, w-wait, maybe there was supposed to be but…that is to say I can neither confirm nor deny, uh, umm, well…" Shad said, quite flustered and shaking, as he swept a quivering hand through his hair and canted his eyes downward and peered about the cobblestone in nervousness. "I-I was just asking. The hearts represent your fondness toward me, correct? Well then, I would expect one heart to appear at least."
"No, I don't think the hearts just mean my feelings to you. I think it means how we both feel for the other. It's not an exact measurement but at least the hearts'll give me some idea of who I like best," Link said and then something sparkling above him caught his eye. "Oh, look! Found it."
He raised his arm up and let the full Heart Container fall into his palm. He brought it down and then slid it into Shad's hands and then held Shad's hands in his. Face remaining red and his mouth agape, Shad darted his stare back and forth in surprise and wonder between the Heart Container and Link.
"I guess I like you best," Link said, grinning. "Great! I was hoping I liked you best."
Shad blinked in disbelief. "I say, if you knew this was how you felt the entire time, why did you amuse yourself with this…this game of hearts?"
"Mostly because it was fun," Link said, earning a sharp narrowing of Shad's stare in annoyance, no doubt accompanied with a reprimand depending on the Hero's next words. "I guess I just wanted to make sure. But now that I know, I promise I won't kiss anyone else."
"Well, I would hope you would refrain from kissing anyone else. It would be highly improper and in fact, I would consider it an outrage if you continued doing so, knowing what you know now," Shad said, crossing his arms over his chest and tilting his head skyward, though he smiled as he did so, as he continued down the alleyway. "That and I doubt my own heart could withstand seeing your face further bruised and battered, my dear."
Link laughed as he matched his smile with his own and put an arm around Shad's shoulders. "You have nothing to worry about that. I neither have the time nor want to kiss anyone else. Too busy kissing you," he said and snuck in a quick peck on Shad's cheek, turning pink immediately, as they headed onward together down the alleyway, a small red heart floating up into the air behind them.