The sweet sounds of the Georgia birds played into my ears. The wind ruffling my dirty blond hair around my slightly sweat drenched face, the sun was warm, the breeze cool; I imagined we almost looked content with our lives, sitting on that plaid colored picnic blanket, in the cool November sunshine, the grass so green. Oh, how looks can be deceiving. My sister, was dishing out Mamma's famous egg salad spoonful, by small spoonful, all glorious and fluffy yellow; heaven forbid she allow one kamikaze potato to hit the ground - and she knew it. Today she was on her best behavior; Her hair was neatly pinned in a pony tail, just as Mama liked it. She was wearing that pretty little blue number she hated with that cardigan Mamma loved. If said potato hit the ground, there would be hell to pay, and we both knew it- hell was not something we needed right now; caution on the side of paranoia it would be, and neither one of us would say a word. After a moment, I heard the sounds of laughter blending into the wind. The light airy laugh of my sister, who had no worries. The lighter still laugh of my Mamma who found her solace at the end of a bottle, and the thick chortles of her latest boy toy. Who knows how long this one would last.
Yes, looks can be deceiving, but it's who you deceive that really matters.
My name is Amanda Rollins. I have clear blue eyes, fair skin, and I can hit a softball farther than ninety-nine percent of the people who attend my High School, and if you asked my Mamma, I bet she could only tell you two of the three things I just told you, depending on her sobriety level of course; never can tell if I'm going to be a hey you, or a damn Kim, or a skanky little slut. A skanky little slut, who cleans the puke out of your hair, and washes the clothes, and does most of the chores mind you; none of that really matters to the woman. I shouldn't expect it to either, my life has been like this for as long as I can remember. Not to mention the fact, that I was more interested in school and softball than in boys, but try telling that to her.
We live in a cute little house, that sits just on the outskirts of town, though the houses all around it make it seem like a big part of a city. I wish we hadn't had to move, but we couldn't afford the rent in our apartment, and my Mamma's Uncle had left us this house, so here we were. My Mamma usually has a revolving door of boyfriends, with some being nicer and cleaner and wiser than the others, but hey all seem to be closer to the bottom of the totem pole than the top - I had to give her that. It wouldn't matter if I frowned upon it either, my sister, Kim, is following in her footsteps; thank goodness school is starting up tomorrow and I won't have to keep walking on eggshells as the primary babysitter. Keep locking the bathroom door extra tight. Keep barricading myself in my room. It will be lovely to just be a normal teenager for a few hours. Let someone else look after my sister. Even if it was a new school, I only had this half year and one more, I could handle it.
"Amanda" a call draws me away from my trance, "d'ya want some egg salad?" Oh Kim, you know I don't, but you like getting your way, and you know I won't argue. "Yes, a little bit please." My legs have grass on them I realize, and all attempts I make to brush them off are thwarted. Oh well. "Why don't you come join us dollbaby?" My Mamma's latest boy toy is revolting, and I sometimes wonder if she hangs out by the jail looking for the next parolee as prime boyfriend material, but I don't say anything to her, Lord knows it won't do any good, and would most likely end up with a grounding for myself, and another lecture that I don't need. I force myself to smile as I walk over, oh yes, school would be a welcome distraction.
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"Kim" I call, turning over as the book I had fallen asleep reading hit the floor, "get up already." I can hear her groaning through the wall, and I find myself laughing a little laugh, Kim had never been a morning person, and it took her longer then the average prima donna to get ready in the morning. Pulling on a grey sweater, and jeans, I grab my backpack and tennies and find myself beating on Kim's door. "Last wake up call you're going to get. If you don't move it, you're going to miss the bus. High School waits for no one, and neither does the bus." I didn't try to be quiet, last night I heard my Mam bumbling around already half drunk on her way out to get drunker with her latest month long stand, I doubted they were back yet, so I figured I might as well enjoy the silence. "Kim, ya got lunch money" I yell, hopefully she was up, we'd have to catch the bus soon, and we both know what would happen if our Mamma discovered us home on a school day. Ironic as it was, since she hadn't even graduated High School herself.
Five minutes before we had to catch the bus, Kim stumbled out, and although she looked half asleep, she was dressed to the nines (or her opinion of the nines.) Personally, I wouldn't go out dressed like that, ever, but we each had our own differences, and although she dressed like a mini hooker, she was my sister and I'd damn well protect her. "Is your skirt short enough there?" I tease. I watch her morning coffee routine, two scoops instant coffee, one of cream and three of sugar that she did not need. "Do you actually have boobs Amanda, hiding behind that grey piece of trash? Lighten up." I watch her wink at me and give a little turn as she heads outside, the door slamming behind her.
The bus pulled up, three minutes later than the listed time, and I wondered how Kim wasn't already freezing. It was fairly cold for November. As I stepped on the bus, I was momentarily frozen, what if no one likes me, what if I stick out. No, stop that Amanda. Letting out my breath, I watched Kim strut to the back of the bus, head held high, she clearly didn't wonder about how things were going to turn out. As I sat down in the first empty seat I came to, the people sitting in the seats across from me laughed, nodding their head towards me- they could at least make it a little less obvious. Glaring over at them, I places my bag on my lap, and gave them the best fuck you look I could muster. They turned around momentarily quiet, and I decided to time and count how many miles away the school was so maybe I wouldn't have to ride this death trap to school. Kim was laughing in the background, no doubt she had found some boy to thrust her affections on, or some shallow girl to be bff's with; I had a feeling it was going to be a long year.