CHANGING LANES

BY: PEGGY (PEGASUS) MCDANIEL MCCOMBS

I was early June; you could have fried an egg on the streets of tiny air conditioner unit that sat in my window blew cool air through my room, and I was greatfull for the noise it made, it drowned out the constant bickering of Renee.

I slammed my clothes in the two suit cases that lay on my bed after I had just gone through ten rounds with Renee. I was tired of the bull crap. I was supposed to be the child in this messed up family; instead I was constantly taking care of her.

What should I wear Bella, what should we do for dinner Bella, you can't go out tonight Bella, I need you here, Phil won't be here tonight, you know I can be alone, who will take care of me, on and on. Herconstant whining. I put my life on hold for her, I took care of her, my so called motherwho threw her teenage fits… she's forty years old for crying out loud, get a life! She's supposed to put her life on hold for me not the other way around… Well I'm done.

"I'm going home," I told her, she looked at me like I was nuts.

"You are home," she replied."No! Home to Forks, to dad!" I screamed.

"Oh no your not!" she screamed back.

We bickered back and forth and when ordering me around didn't work she began to whine again.

"What will I do," she whined. " I need you here with me Bella, I can't make it on my own," she proclaimed, which was a slap in the face to Phil, who by the way was her husband, six years her junior and who spoiled her rotten, oh sure he agreed with me, but never once did he stand up to that's it I'm done, I can't take this any longer, I'm eighteen years old I don't need her permission to leave and I'm out of here.

I packed all my things that I couldn't take with me in boxes, I taped them closed and addressed them and Phil promised to send to me later on in the week. All I took was my clothes and my necessities that I had to have I loaded them into my car said my good-byes to Phil and tried to say good-bye to Renee but all I got from her was.

"I hope it was worth picking Charlie over me, I never want to see you again!" and slammed the door in my face.

Yeah it hurt, but it didn't stop me. I shook my head. Phil apologized and I climbed into my car and left.

With the music blaring to keep me awake I traveled straight through, I guess I should have stopped at a motel to spend the night but a couple hours sleep at the rest area was fine for me. It did kind of scare me a bit, a woman, all alone, on the road, sleeping in her car at a dark rest area, every noise made me jump and abruptly woke me from my slumber, this happened a few times and finally I tired of being forcefully awakened and I went into the building ahead of me and bought myself a cup of coffee from the vending machine, which by the way tasted like motor oil, or what I would think motor oil would taste like.

I was on the road again, I yawned and reached over and turned the radio back on and sang with the music just to keep myself from falling asleep

.At one time I seen head lights in my eyes… they seemed to be getting closer, I put my hand up in front of my face to block the brightness of the lights and decided to change lanes to the most outside lane… as soon as I did I seen a car going the wrong way in the lane I was just in, my heart began to beat fast and hard, and I let out a breathe that I didn't even know I was holding, I heard and explosion, I looked out my rear view mirror to see fire and smoke plummeting up into the air.

"Oh my God!" I knew in my heart that it had to be the car that just missed me, didn't miss some other poor soul, my heart sank, I pulled out my cell phone and called for help, but my phone was dead, Humm… I must be in a dead zone, I thought to myself.

"Well that woke me up."

And before I knew it I saw the sign. "Welcome to Forks" it read.

I hadn't talked to Charlie in over a month, I told him the situation I was in and told him I was thinking about moving to Forks, he was elated, he wanted to send someone right then to pick me up, he said he would pick me up himself but he had been working a lot lately. I told him I had my own car and I didn't know for sure when I would be able to leave, he understood and told me he hoped he would see me soon. He also told me he had been working a lot of hours and if he wasn't there when I got there not to worry, he would be there sooner or later.

I told him I would call before I left to let him know when I would be there but I didn't, I guess I figured it didn't matter he knew I was coming, no need to worry him while I was on the road.

I pulled up in front of the house I remembered visiting every summer until I was twelve years old, after that I had to settle with a phone call every now and again and a few, very few visits from Charlie when he could get away, due to Renee's constant whining about leaving her alone.

I sat in my car looking at the house for a few minutes before getting out and making my way to the porch, I smiled and was relieved I was here, I looked over to the right side of the porch where now stood a porch swing, I remember Charlie telling me that Jacob built him a swing so he could sit on the porch in the evenings and drink a beer while watching the sun set in the warmer months. I dropped my bags and went and sat on the swing.

"Wow, Jacob built this, it's beautiful," I said out loud to myself. I ran my hand across the smooth wood, and noticed the fine craftsmanship of the work, the intricate details carved into the wood, it amazed me how talented he was, I remembered when we were small Jake showed me carvings of wolves he kept in his room, he told me that Billy had carved them and that he was teaching him how to do it as well.

He taught him well, I thought to myself. I smiled again just thinking about Jacob and how much I missed him, we were friends when we were small, best friends, you never seen one of us without the other, It was always Jake and Bella. Our dad's always thought we would end up together; we were that close, as we got older we didn't talk much on the phone at least, Jake had his life and I had mine. We would however E-mail each other quite a lot, telling each other what we were into at the time. Jake with his cars and his skills as a mechanic and me with school or what book I was reading, Jake also knew what I was going through with Renee, he practically begged me to move to Forks, he said that if Charlie didn't take me in I could move in with him and Billy, I laughed and told him, like Charlie wouldn't take me in… Yeah Jake and I were close, and I couldn't wait to see him again.

I reached down and grabbed my things and found the spare key in the mailbox and unlocked the door, as I walked into the house I looked around, everything looked the same, same old furniture that actually looked pretty good, Charlie's recliner looked a little worse for wear, but everything else looked good.

I noticed a picture framed on the mantle over the fireplace, I dropped my bags next to the steps and walked over to the fireplace and picked it up, I smiled when I looked upon the faces of Charlie, Billy, Jacob and myself, it was taken at one of the Black's cookouts while I was here the last time, Charlie and Billy side by side and Jake and I side by side in front of them, Jake had his arm slung over my shoulders as he always did. Jake is one year younger than me which made him eleven and I was twelve, I never thought of him as younger he was so much more mature than his age.

He took care of Billy who was in a truck accident that took Jacob's mother Sarah's life. A drunk driver hit them head on, Jake's mother was pronounced dead at the scene and there for awhile we thought we had lost Billy as well, but he survived, but destined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. That was one of the times I flew in and stayed for over a month with Charlie, to be there for Jacob, he took it really hard and the only time I had ever seen him cry, he loved his mother so much and he was devastated. From then on out he cared for his father he was eight years old, how he did it? I'll never know, to be that young and handle that much responsibility and one of my many reasons I love Jacob Black.

I replaced the photo back on the mantle and walked into the kitchen nothing changed there either, cabinets faded a little but that was it, same kitchen that I remembered.

I made my way back to the living room picked up my bags and headed up stairs, when I reached my room I pushed the door opened and entered.I looked around, same ole, same ole, same purple comforter still on the bed, I dropped my bags at the end of my bed and pick up my cell phone to check for messages, nothing, I glanced at the time and it was 3a.m. I closed my phone and plugged into the wall to recharge and rummaged through my bag and found a pair of sweat paints and an old tee-shirt, I found my toothbrush and hurried to the bathroom changed and brushed my teeth, I came back to my room and laid on my bed and before long sleep over took me.

I awoke the next morning to the sun peering through the window which in itself is a miracle, the sun never shines here very often, I smiled at the thought of being here, I jumped up and found a change of clothes, a pair of skinny jeans and a three quarter length tee-shirt with a long sleeve button up shirt to fit over it, and my Nike tennis-shoes. I ran to the bathroom and showered brushed my teeth and went to my room and brushed out my hair and pulled it up in a ponytail. I put my clothes away in my drawers when I was almost finished I heard the front door close, I skipped down the stairs and ran to the kitchen.

"Dad," I called, but he was nowhere to be found, I looked out the window to see his police cruiser speed off down the road, I stood there puzzled, he had to have seen my car parked out in the driveway. Why didn't he say something to me or at least leave a note, I thought to myself… I looked on the table and the refrigerator checking for a note… nothing, what is going on in Forks that's that important that would cause Charlie to be so side-tracked. I shrugged my shoulders looked into the refrigerator for something to eat; I wrinkled my nose up at the thought of eating and realized I wasn't really hungry at all.

I looked around the room and paced from one room to the other, then a thought sprang to my mind, I smiled and grabbed my bag and cell phone and ran out the door to my car climbed in and headed to LaPush and to the best person I know Jacob Black's house.

I arrived at the little red house looking it over before getting out of the car, still the same; I thought to myself, still needs a fresh coat of paint. I chuckled as I opened the door and stepped out, I stepped up to the porch and knocked on the door, no answer, I looked into the windows and didn't see any one, I stepped off the porch and looked toward the make shift garage, and headed that way.

"Jacob," I called, as a face peers out of the garage, "Jake!"I squealed as the first thing I see is his beautiful smile.

"Bells!" Jake yelled as he ran for me and gathered me up into his strong arms and swung me around, as he put me back on my feet the next thing I notice was that he had grown, not just a little but a lot.

"You've grown," I told him.

"Yeah… well that seems to happen through the years Bells," he said.

"I smiled at him, "still handsome as ever," I told him, as he smiled and looked at the ground and started kicking at a rock, then looked back at me with the same beautiful smile.

"You've changed to Bells… You're so beautiful," he told me.

"Oh… and what was I before? An ugly duckling?" I asked him.

He laughed, "No Bells, you've always been beautiful… But damn you're beautiful," he said, I blushed at his remark.

"You've really filled," he said, as he grabbed my hand and swung me around, "In all the right places," he said with a chuckle.

"Jake," I whined and smacked him on his arm. He laughed again and pulled me in for a hug.

"I'm sorry Bells… I didn't mean to embarrass you, I'm so glad you're here," he said and kissed my forehead; he sighed as his face took on a pained look.

"What is it Jake?" I asked, he looked at me and smiled.

"It's nothing Bells, come on let's go for a walk," he told me as he grabbed my hand and lead me down the path to the beach.

"Jake, I thought I would say hello to Billy," I told him, his face took on that same pained look.

"Jake is Billy okay?" I asked.

"Sure, sure, his not home right now, you can see him later," he said. We walked to the beach and we talked about anything and everything, he told me that Charlie was going to send him to get me, but now that I was there he wouldn't have to.

I told him that I hadn't seen Charlie yet, I got in late last night and he left before I could get down stairs this morning, I told him about my concern about Charlie not leaving me a note this morning, and once again Jake had that pained look on his face.

"Jake please tell me what's wrong, your really worrying me," I told him.

"Later Bells, I promise, I'll tell you later," he told me.

We sat on our favorite drift wood we used to sit on when we were young, he put his arm around me and pulled me as close to him as he could, then with the same arm he slung it over my shoulders and stared out at the ocean.

"Bells can I tell you something?" He asked me. I thought he was going to tell me something about what he was worried about so I braced myself for the worst, or maybe he would tell me he had a girlfriend now, I know we're best friends but the thought of him being with another girl bothered me a lot, but I mean, I know I don't have the right to be jealous after all we haven't seen each other in six years. I love Jake as a friend, but I am just realizing that I not only love Jake, but I'm in love with him, I missed him so much and when I turned to look up at Jacob his eyes shimmered and I was wishing I could kiss those luscious lips.

"Jake you can ask me anything," I told him, he turned and looked down at me.

"Bells I've felt this way for awhile now, I mean probably since we were kids, but I can't keep this a secret any longer," he said then swallowed hard, "Bells… I love you," he said, I looked at him puzzled, of course he loves me, and I wondered what he was trying to tell me.

"I love you too Jake," I told him.

"No Bells!" he said shaking his head. "I'm in love with you; I have been since we were kids and well… I think it's time… it's time I tell you how I feel. If you don't feel the same… it's okay, I mean I'm here for you like always, but I just had to tell you," he said as he looked down at his feet. I stared at him, could it be possible? Could he really love me like I loved him? He said he did, my heart sped up, I swallowed hard, and I looked off to the ocean.

"Bells please say something," he begged, I looked back at him, and smiled.

"Jake I can't believe you just told me that," I said. He jumped up.

"Oh Bells I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you, I should have kept it to myself," he said, as he paced back and forth in front of me. I shook my head and stood up and grabbed his arm. Oh god his thinks I don't feel the same.

"No Jake, wait, you didn't let me finish," I told him as he looked down at me. "I feel the same way you do… I'm in love with you too," I told him. The corners of his lips curled up and formed into his beautiful smile that I loved so well. He reached down and smashed his lips to mine in a long passionate kiss, as we wrapped our arms around one another, his tongue grazed my bottom lip asking for entrance which I gave gladly our tongues danced together a shiver ran through my body as I placed my hand on the back of his neck and grabbed a hand full of his hair and pushed him deeper into our kiss as we both moaned in pleasure. Our kiss ended far sooner than I would have liked, he looked into my eyes.

"I love you Bells.""I love you too, Jake," as he kissed me once again. He looked at me once again, as that same pained look came across his face.

"Bells there's something else I have to tell you and I'm not sure how to do it, so I think the best way is to just show you, but remember honey, I'll be there for you no matter what, I'll always be there for you Bells forever, I promise," he said.

"I know you'll always be there for me Jake, but right now you're scaring me, will you please tell me what's wrong," I begged.

"Come on Bells," he said as he grabbed my hand and we ran back to my car, I handed him my keys as we climbed into the car and we drove to the edge of town, my heart began to pound so hard that I thought it would come through my chest, my breathing became erratic.

"Jake… why are we at the grave yard?" I asked nervously. "Did someone we know die?" I asked as I became very afraid for him to answer, he looked at me and grabbed my hand and led me deeper into the grave yard, I began to see people… lots of people and they were huddled around one grave site or so I thought, as we came closer, I noticed faces, faces I had seen before, one being Charlie and next to him sat Billy, they had tears flowing down their cheeks.

"Jake," I said, and he didn't answer, but wore that painful expression on his face. I let go of his hand and walked up to and stood in front of Charlie, he had his head down as the tears still flowed. I swallowed hard.

"Dad," I said and he didn't answer, I looked down at Billy, "Billy," I said, he didn't answer me either, I turned to scan the people, I knew almost all of them, Jessica, Mike, Angela, Ben, the whole pack was here with their girlfriends, the Elders from the tribe, then I looked back at Charlie and someone moved from behind him, I moved a little to see who it was… Renee and Phil both with tears running down their cheek, I looked to find Jake.

"Jake," I cried, as he ran to me and grabbed me into a hug, he turned me around with my back to his chest as my eyes came to rest on two grave stones.

"No, no, no, no, no, this can't be possible; it can't be true, as tears flowed down my cheek as well. I turned to look at Jake.

"It's my fault Bells, it was late, I patrolled the night before, Charlie sent me to get you, I was so excited to see you again, I left without any sleep, I fell asleep at the wheel Bells, my car crossed the medium, by the time I realized what had happened it was to late, I hit the car in front of me head on, we were going 60 miles an hour… I didn't remember anything after that, only that I was standing on the side of the road, I walked over to the car and I seen myself mangled in the car, as I looked to the other car, there wasn't much left of it, but I walked over to it, when I looked at what was left, I seen it was you Bells, what's the odds, half way between Phoenix and Forks, and I hit you're car Bells, I'm so sorry.

"No, no, no, Jake, I seen that happen, I changed lane's I seen the car pass, I heard it hit the car behind me, I seen the smoke, it can't be me Jake, it wasn't me," I told him.

"I'm sorry Bells… I am so, so sorry, I don't know why you can't remember but it was you, I am so sorry, I love you so much, I wish… I wish it didn't happen," he said.

"I began to think back, my mind started to reel, like a movie that was rewinding starting from right here until I seen the lights coming for me, then it stopped… I looked at Jake who stood on the side of the road, he was crying so hard he was wrenching in pain, I walked up to him, and he looked up at me.

"Bells?" he said, I smiled at him. "I love you Bella," he said.

"I love you Jake," I told him as we hugged each other there by the side of the road.

"It's okay Jake, it was our time, just think Jacob, well be together forever," I told him as he looked at me and smiled, I wiped his tears from his cheek, we wrapped one of our arms around one another as we turned and walked off together to spend eternity together.