"Okay, so he wants to go back to school. We have to choose somebody new."
"Why? He's got at least three more good years."
"You want him to get a face lift."
"There's nothing wrong with a little bit of plastic surgery," Sebastian said as he batted his eyelashes at his employer.
"Just…just get the file," Dave said as he waved his second in command away. "And find out if Mercedes is ready," he called back from his chair. He had cleared off his office desk for the rare occasion of needing to find a replacement.
Michael Rennie was ill the day the earth stood still
But he told us where we stand
And Flash Gordon was there in silver underwear
Claude Raines was the invisible man
He rubbed the heel of his hand over his forehead and grimaced. Then, reaching for his whiskey sour on the nearby sideboard, he knocked it back as Sebastian returned.
"Got it," he smirked.
"You waitin' for a signed invitation?" Dave asked. "Spread 'em out."
"Now wait. You thought you were doin' this without me?" Mercedes asked as Dave's office door opened and closed behind her with a kick of her heel. "You got another thing coming."
"Pfft. I was just waiting for you to make an entrance. Care for a drink, Miss Jones?"
Then something went wrong for Fay Wray and King Kong
They got caught in a celluloid jam
Then at a deadly pace it came from outer space
And this is how the message ran:
"I brought my own bottle," Mercedes said with a chuckle as she brought the champagne bottle out from behind her back and sat down in her favorite chair in the office. "Now let's see who we've got for our hot boys."
"I don't know what you're doing here," Sebastian said flippantly, "you can't date any of them."
"Can't hurt a girl's morale to look, even if she can't touch," Mercedes replied. "Besides, sometimes the merchandise can move shelves."
Dave snorted as he opened the file. "Not my merchandise. You know the rules."
"Joy kill. Oh god, put that face away."
Science Fiction, Double Feature
Dr. X will build a creature
See androids fighting Brad and Janet
Ann Francis stars in Forbidden Planet
Oh-oh-oh-oh oooh at the late night
Double feature picture show
Dave nodded as he turned the first picture over. "Yikes. Agreed. What made him think that he'd get chosen?"
"Bad economy?" Sebastian offered.
"No economy's that bad," Dave replied. He flipped the file out to the center of the table so several pictures cascaded out at once.
"Three hundred of these babies and the first one I pick up was in Cirque du Soleil," Sebastian stated as he turned one of the pictures upside down. "Ooh, bendy."
I knew Leo G. Carroll was over a barrel
When Tarantula took to the hills
And I really got hot when I saw Janet Scott
Fight a Triffid that spits poison and kill
"Mmm. I got one called Max here. Like the name. Oh, he was a Chippendale, damn it." Dave groaned at the picture he picked from the stack. "Wonder if he's got that steroid acne they all get."
"Now I know you're opposed to petite doe eyed Asian men, Dave, but…"
"No Mercedes. Especially if he's given himself the name Serge or something. You know what? Where are all the good gay porn stars? I mean, Falcon churned out dude after dude and it wasn't that long ago!"
"You're just picky," Sebastian said as he wrinkled his nose. "We're a male revue. Just pick a hot body. Nobody wants personality."
"I do," Dave said. "I want a guy who's gonna fit several costumes and maybe know something if the client's just looking for a talker. I mean, God, I could choose this Francis guy but just…"
"He's got a piercing," Sebastian said as he grabbed the picture of the bald man that Dave had nearly tossed away. "Oh, that must have been painful."
Dana Andrews said prunes give him the runes
And passing them used lots of skills
But when worlds collide, said George Pal to his bride
I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills
"That's not creative," Dave barked. "That's just reckless. I mean, what if something happened while you were ripping the G-string off. That's just bad planning."
Science fiction double feature
Dr. X will build a creature
See androids fighting Brad and Janet
"I don't know," Mercedes shrugged, "could be kind of hot on the nipple. You remember Cory?"
Ann Francis stars in Forbidden Planet
Whoa oh oh oh oow at the late night
Double feature, picture show
Dave sighed. "Yeah. Wish we could've rescued him from that Real World contract but no, he said. He wanted to go into fantasy wrestling afterward, he said. Idiot."
"I saw him on tv, rubbing Chris Jericho down. He's not doing too bad for himself."
I wanna go, oh-oh oooh
To the late night double feature picture show.
Dave rolled his eyes. "This is where the money's at. And I should know."
By R.K.O, oh-oh-ooooh
To the late night double feature picture show.
Mercedes crossed her arms as she looked out over the photos. "You're still too picky."
In the back row oh oh oh
Dave shrugged. "And that's why they pay me the big bucks."
At the late night double feature picture show