Dear God, it's me Marco

Dear God,

I sit here on the couch at my fire station in the wee hours of the morning, writing by the light of a flashlight because I don't want to turn the lights on and disturb my friends who are trying to get some much needed and deserved sleep. I'm exhausted like the rest of the crew, but have too much on my mind to even attempt to sleep. Today is January 1st. On a day that should be marked by happiness, college bowl games, nursing hangovers, and enjoying family and friends, I feel nothing but sadness.

While most people were getting ready for parties to welcome in the New Year, my crewmates and I were busy trying to rescue folks who may or may not live to be a part of the New Year. It started shortly after we came on duty.

The mood was light. Johnny and Chet, who were both amazingly involved in relationships at this time, were both lamenting the fact that they would be unable to spend the holiday ringing in the new year with their lovely ladies. Mike and I even laughed about the fact that those two had dates, and we did not. The lightness of the morning was quickly changed when the alarms went off. When the dispatcher announced our station, along with two others, to respond to an apartment complex fire, I could only hope that the fire was not a large one, and that the other stations were only there for precautionary reasons. I knew that it wasn't likely, but I had to hope.

When we arrived on scene, I quickly realized that the large brick building was fully involved, and that this was no small fire. I wanted to believe that there were no people inside, but I also knew that the likelihood of that were slim to none. I was familiar with this part of town, and it was an area that was populated mostly by young families. My heart was in my throat. We immediately got to work. After the first hour of battling the blaze, it was obvious that there would not be a lot of survivors. Men, women, and children…the young, and the old…many didn't make it. I don't really know what the casualty count ended up being, I just remember thinking how these people had made it through the past year okay, and would not be around to see the new one. I had found out that one gentleman had been a veteran of World War II, Korea, and Vietnam, just to perish in a fire. My heart broke. There were many other stories that were just as heart wrenching, I'm sure.

We had a few near misses with some of our firefighters, and a few that weren't so lucky, though no one's life is currently hanging in the balance. On our crew Mike Stoker got it pretty good when the hose blew and he got cracked over the left eye when the nozzle hit him. He ended up needing a few stitches, but was no worse for the wear. Roy and John almost got trapped at one point, but due to their quick thinking and fancy footwork, were able to avoid it. All of that happened in the first half of the day.

Just after dinner time there was a mullti-car accident that we responded to. A blue pick-up truck had gone through a red light at a high rate of speed, colliding with two other vehicles. In the red sports car was a beautiful young couple. The girl had on a silver dress, and the young man was wearing a tuxedo. They had obviously been on their way to a party. I also remember the girl clutching a long stemmed red rose, perhaps a sign of what the young man was planning for the evening. Despite the paramedics and doctors' best efforts, they didn't survive the accident. In the brown sedan was a family of four. The two adults were dressed for a party, and the two young children were in their pajamas. The girl was holding on to a stuffed dog. Last I had heard the little girl and her father hadn't made it.

And then there was the driver of the truck. Turns out he was drunk…too much pre-party partying. Though he was the cause of the accident, it doesn't make me any happier knowing that he was also seriously injured. Four people dead, because of someone's terrible decision to drive drunk.

There were many more incidents this past evening, but I'm too tired to rehash it all.

Though I've been in this business for some time now, and have seen a lot of bad things, I still have to wonder why You let these things happen. Folks who have their whole lives ahead of them, and appear to be decent people, are gone. Why? How come You let several firefighters get seriously injured, when they were only trying to do their jobs? I go to church as often as I can, You can ask my mother about that, and despite hearing all of the priest's sermons, I still have trouble making sense out of what happened today.

Unless the answer to this is, that's life. That we all have a destiny or plan, and only YOU know how it will turn out for us? If that's the case, than I guess I should be grateful that my time, and those around me hasn't come up yet. I was once zapped by electricity at a gas station, but I survived that fine, thanks to quick thinking by my friends. I once almost bought the proverbial farm in an explosion, but I came out of that fine, too.

And then there were the rest of the guys. Like today, You made sure that Mike wasn't more seriously injured. You also pulled Johnny through a serious virus, hit and run accident, and snakebite, not to mention a myriad of other things. And Roy, he was electrocuted at a house fire. Karen the paramedic trainee got to him quickly. Captain Stanley had his own drama when he had met with some downed power lines, and You got him through that okay. Even Chet Kelly made it through his scrapes.

So what exactly is the answer to my question? If You could tell me, I would be grateful. If there is no answer, or You aren't able to share that with me, then at least continue to watch over all of us.

I hope the coming year is a good one, not to mention a safe one. If the answer is for me to keep doing my job, and You'll do yours, then so be it. Maybe New Year's Day will be a might better than New Year's Eve.

As Always,

Marco Lopez

THE END