STARTS DURING BTAUDITIONS! In case that's not clear…

The boys practically skipped into the horrifyingly ugly 2J, reenergized by Kendall's pep talk and psyched for the next day. Mrs. Knight tossed them their luggage and led them to their rooms, letting them decide amongst themselves to pick who slept with whom. "I think Carlos should sleep with Logan," Kendall decided, earning a fist pump from the Latino and a confused look from the other boy.

"Why?" Logan asked, looking nauseous. In fact, he had been looking pretty worried since they had started up for bed in the elevator. His eyes were wide, and he tried desperately, "don't you think Carlos should share a room with James?" he asked. Kendall shook his head.

"Nah, Carlos is a mess and you're the only one who would be neat enough to ensure he doesn't go to sleep in melted ice cream or on a pile of boomerangs or something," he explained, oblivious to Logan's pleading eyes. If there was anything he did not want, it was to go to sleep with Carlos in the room because, frankly, Logan had something to hide.

The boys got settled into their rooms, hoping for a long stay and Logan looking more and more terrified as the night wore on. Soon all the lights went out, and the boys soon went to sleep.

The next morning, when they all rolled out of bed, Logan seemed even more tired than he had been last night after a grueling day at Boy Band Boot Camp. Dark circles hollowed his eyes, making him seem small and sick. James eyed him warily, as did Kendall and Carlos, eyes like hawks'. "Logie, are you feeling okay?" the tall, tan, teen heart throb asked. Logan threw on his best fake smile, which was pretty good. At least, it should have been, considering all the times he had gotten to practice.

"Never better!" he answered with a light, cheery voice, and pivoted on his heel to the bathroom, towel in hand. Three sets of skeptic eyes followed him in, worried. James and Carlos looked to Kendall for an answer. The blonde shrugged. "I guess he had trouble sleeping in a new place and doesn't want to admit it. He's like this when he sleeps over at our houses, right?" He was met with two apprehensive nods. "Besides, tonight he'll be so tired, he'll hit the hay right away," their leader rhymed, keeping the mood light. James and Carlos took his word for it, but Kendall himself wasn't so sure. There was something else in Logan's eyes. Something he couldn't place, but he had a bad feeling about it.

The next two days were exactly the same. Logan would flip out at night and look worse off in the mornings. He kept nodding off while they were singing or lying by the pool. His big brown eyes would fall shut, and he'd start to tip over. Kendall was starting to keep a hand on him constantly to keep him steady and off the floor. He was starting to get worried there would be a time when he wouldn't be there to jolt him awake and he'd faint or something. It was officially time for a talk, but Kendall figured it could wait a day. What with all the band stuff, he didn't know how to make time for it.

It was that day at rehearsals that Kendall noticed that things were a little deeper than just home sickness. They were on the couch at the studio, waiting on Gustavo unsurprisingly, when Logan drifted off into dream land. Kendall let it slide, figuring he needed all the sleep he could get, when the shorter boy started whimpering. It was soft at first, so that Kendall didn't notice it completely, but it grew louder. James and Carlos looked to their leader, scared, but Kendall put his hand up as if to say 'I got this'. His friends instantly relaxed.

The blonde shook Logan's shoulder to wake him. He got up reluctantly, opening his bleary eyes slowly to the spinning world before him. He was used to waking up dizzy at this point in his life. Nightmares always disoriented him. He became aware of Kendall's voice drifting through his head, asking if he was alright.

"I'm okay," he answered, a little lost. He focused in on his friends' concerned faces. Carlos was biting his lower lip in apprehension, James's forehead was creased, and Kendall's eyebrows had knit together in confusion and worry. Logan rolled his eyes. "Seriously! I'm fine!" he lied, hoping they wouldn't notice. But even if they did, they probably wouldn't say anything. Most people liked a lie more than the truth anyway. "What's got you all worked up?" James frowned.

"You were freaking out in your sleep. It was like you were…" he trailed off, searching for words. "Crying… but not cause you were sad, but cause you were hurt." James stated, knowing the difference. The boys had known each other long enough to distinguish tears of anguish from tears of pain. Logan looked to his wrists.

"Well, I'm fine," Logan pushed, feigning exasperation. His friends looked at him, uncertain. Logan blew them off. "Guys, I'd tell you if something was up! Let's just go get working, okay?" he asked. His friends nodded, but still weren't sure. There was clearly something Logan wasn't telling them. Luckily, they wouldn't have to wait all that long to find out what.

It had gone just like all the other nights. Logan had hustled about with the guys, brushing his teeth and throwing on a v-neck to sleep in with the same nervous expression he had every time before. It was completely familiar, but this time, when the lights went out, Logan's eyes fell closed, and he went to sleep. It wasn't long before he was passed out, and Carlos heard the sound of him crying softly in his sleep. Carlos tried to ignore it. Logan had said he was fine earlier, right? He wouldn't like it if he got woken up for no reason.

It wasn't long before Carlos drifted off to sleep, but he didn't stay that way for long. He jumped out of bed at the sound of Logan's screams. He flipped off his top bunk and landed on a suitcase. He groaned, rubbing the spot where the corner dug into his side. He refocused on Logan.

Carlos was shocked James and Kendall weren't rushing into the room, Logan's shouts were so loud, painful, and scared. His friend's face was twisted into one of horror, and Carlos didn't know what to do. He quickly rushed in to his friends' room, dragging them out of bed. Kendall rubbed an eye groggily while James pushed his hair from his face drowsily. "Carlos, what's wrong?"

"It's… Logie…" he hiccupped, snotting like a baby. With those two words, Kendall and James immediately hopped from their beds, sprinting to the other bedroom. Kendall was at Logan's side in seconds, holding him and whispering comforting things in his ear, the crying boy waking at his touch. He flinched away, confused in scared, but realized who it was and fell into him, allowing himself to sob.

"I wanted to share a room with you," he croaked like a toad, voice shot from screaming and crying. Kendall adjusted them so he sat, back resting against the wooden slat ladder of the bunk bed, legs crossed Indian style. He pulled Logan into his lap, and wrapped his arms around his waist, sitting him up. James sat on the other end of the bed, and held onto Logan's ankles protectively, just like he always did. Though it sounded crazy, something about James's grip on any of their feet was very comforting. It was just so… familiar. Carlos crawled over Logan, lying down next to him, stretching his arms around the other boy's legs. All four of them stayed there until Logan's body stopped wracking in their arms.

"What aren't you saying, Logan?" Kendall asked, getting straight down to business. Logan wrung his hands together. He didn't know how to start, but he knew he had to say it. Somehow, miraculously, he wasn't uncomfortable. What was probably going to be the most heart wrenching conversation of his life was made easy by the closeness of his three best friends, all tangled up in one bunk bed. He sighed.

"Guys, I'm a liar," he started, feeling ashamed when a confused naïve look crossed over Carlos's face.

"What do you mean?" the Latino asked, eyes searching him. Logan struggled for words. This was never an easy thing to tell anyone, let alone the people you love. He groped for the right thing to say, but gave up and settled for something just 'okay'.

"My dad isn't dead." At his friend's bewildered expressions he continued, not sure where to go next, just letting himself babble. "My real dad was taken away from me and my mom when I was eight, before I moved to Minnesota from Texas, and I remember the day the police came into my house and brought him to jail cause it was the best day of my life, and I don't know what would happen if they came any later cause things were pretty bad." Logan gagged on the next words. "Guys," he paused, floundering as the air was sucked out of him. "I was abused."

Needless to say, his friends gasped, staring at him in shock. Logan didn't know what to do, so he just started crying. "I'm so sorry, don't hate me!" he apologized and begged for forgiveness as the other three boys tried to process what was going on. Kendall gripped him tighter. Then James, then Carlos.

"We would never hate you, especially for something like that," Kendall assured him, accompanied by nods from the other guys. For a while, that's all they said. No 'why didn't you tell me's or 'you should have said something's. Just… love.

And Logan drank it up.

Because, honestly, love was still something he was getting used to feeling.

"Kendall?" Logan squeaked, oddly being the first to talk after everything that had happened. Kendall responded with a quiet mm-hmm. Logan looked down to see a tear-streaked Carlos with a death grip on his legs. James was still fighting for consciousness, but it was a losing battle. Kendall, meanwhile, was wide awake, processing everything in his mind, thinking about how he would need to change his role as leader and the way he made decisions. "Can I move to your room?" he asked timidly. "I just… I want you there when I wake up," Logan admitted.

"Yeah," Kendall said, understanding completely. Except for one thing. "Logan, do you always get nightmares?" he asked, and felt Logan nod in the dark against him. "Then how didn't we know?" he asked. Logan squirmed.

"I don't sleep when I'm with you guys," he admitted. Kendall furrowed his brow. Logan sensed his confusion and explained. "I just stay up and take a nap when I get home. I was going to nap when you guys were out, but… you never were and we had so much practice." Logan's voice cracked.

Carlos stirred and wrapped tighter around his friend.

"Logan, don't be sad or scared or uncomfortable around us, okay?" Carlos asked. "We love you, alright?"

Logan smiled, "Alright."

So! In the new episode, we find out Carlos and James share a room. (Carlos is all "found twenty dollars in OUR room" to James.) So I decided to write why.

This was going to be more Carlos-y, but it worked better in some places with Kendall, you know?

PS: Only I would find angst in that.