Until the Wheels Fall Off
Chapter 1
"It's okay to not be perfect.
It's okay to make mistakes.
It's okay to do something that you wish you hadn't done,
because if we don't do those things we never grow."
- Dawn Stanyon
She jumps in the seat, knuckles blanching on the wheel. Traffic in this city is infernal. She's spent her whole life driving in New York and yet she has never found traffic as frustrating as she has in the in the last four months. Another horn sounds somewhere behind her and she couldn't even begin to tell you who they were honking at, let alone why. There's too many versions of the rules of the road here. Too many people with their own idea of when blinkers are appropriate, how small their car is, who gets the right of way and what the ideal over the speed limit speed is.
It doesn't help that she always seems to get lost, it's a little city, carefully planned, at least that's what they claim. Only instead of making it easier to navigate it seems to only have gotten her spun in circles. She can't even begin to think about the number of times that she put something wrong into the GPS and ended up in the completely wrong corner of the city, to her eternal frustration.
It's just another thing on a list that gets longer with every sweltering day as summer moves into the dog days. She's always sweating. Sweating in the air conditioning because it's so hot and humid outside that the air conditioning causes her body go into shock and tries and equalize too quickly. Sweating when she steps into the heat from the refrigerated air because it's like walking into a brick wall. She always feels like a mess.
People are everywhere in wrinkled shorts, souvenir shirts, with cameras they don't know how to use slung around their necks. That wouldn't be a problem except she feels like she's one of them trying to find something, or walk around the sights on her two free hours. The public transportation may be clean but taking it on the weekend is the worst idea she's ever had. That first weekend was miserable so she started driving unless it made absolutely no sense.
And fuck if she's not incredibly lonely all the time. She doesn't have time to go out and make new friends, she's too old for it. She already has friends god damn it. She's never been homesick before in her life but here she is in her mid-thirties trying to stave off depression by drowning in work and it's not healthy, but she doesn't know what else to do besides be at work or out running. The number of miles she's logging on the weekends, it's just not good.
Her ringtone pierces the air-conditioned silence of her SUV, she jilts, jerking the wheel and a beat passes before she can get herself together enough to fish the phone from the cup holder and answer it. "Beckett," she thinks she sounds professional, but she also sounds like she's fighting tears.
"Yo Beckett!" Crackles through the earpiece.
"Javi," it whooshes out of her, relief that it's someone she actually wants to talk to. Someone that eases the ache in her chest just a little bit, "How are you?"
"Good boss. Summer's getting old, making people crazy." He does that little whistle he has when he thinks someone's gone off the deep end, "That's actually what I was calling about."
"Hmmm..." Humming? When was the last time she hummed at work? "What do you need Espo?"
"Well I was wondering if you maybe could pull some strings, talk to some people. We keep getting shut down when we try to run this guy down."
"Espo how'd you get nominated to ask? Isn't this normally Ryan's kind of thing?"
She chuckles prompting a laugh from him on the other end, "He's too busy coming up with Castlesque theories to do actually police work." She sucks in a breath, using it to keep herself together even as he plows on. A beat passes in silence, and then his tone is laced with concerned, "Kate? Are you ok?"
Shaking her head, she turns into the parking garage under her apartment building. "I'm fine... I just miss you guys that's all."
"Hey we miss you too, but we'll see you soon. Ryan's got a countdown on the board it's not long now."
"Thanks. I needed that." Even if she doesn't know what she's going to do when it hits zero. "Send me the details of the case I'll work on it in the morning."
"Seriously, Beckett. Thanks..." There is a pregnant pause, and she knows he's trying to figure out if he's even allowed to ask, "Have you heard from him?"
"Javi..."
"I know not helping."
"He doesn't have a phone service down there..." It takes everything in her to just admit it, but she needs to get it off her chest. Tell someone, "I miss him."
"You should." The answer comes back rapid fire like he wouldn't expect anything less.
She smiles at that, he's always been more clued into her and Castle than even they have been at times. "I miss you guys too."
"Well obviously," she can hear the scoff. "Look I gotta go. Gates is glaring at me, jealous. I think she misses you too," he stage whispers.
She really does laugh at that, the smile stretching uncomfortably on her face likes she's out of practice. "Send me the stuff Esposito, I'll call you when I have something."
"Night boss," followed by the disconnection beep. Huffing out a breath, she lets her head rest against the steering wheel of the oversized vehicle. Deep breath, and then let it out. Wallowing in the icy air for just a minute longer, before shutting the engine off, clambering out of the monstrous machine into the humid stale air of the garage.
In twenty minutes she's laced up her running shoes and is pushing her way out of the lobby of the apartment building letting her stride get away from her eating up the sweltering pavement as she heads for her favorite route. Her pace evens out when she reaches the sleepy college campus so she can ignore the traffic lights. Her brain lulls into just breathing, and maintaining her pace as the towering marble monument comes into her line of sight.
Crossing Constitution Avenue and onto the mall she turns right and runs toward the shining white building on the hill, the sun glancing off the dome.
"Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?"
He's on his knee in front of her. Determination in his eyes and a sparkling, perfect ring in his hand for her. It's the space of a heartbeat, it might as well have been a lifetime, before she's launching herself off the swing to kneel in front of him. Cradling his face in her hands, "Castle." She leans in and kisses him softly, reverently, and lovingly. "Oh Castle, I love you so much." She sighs pressing her forehead against his.
"Is that a yes?" He's still not sure of her and that says more than anything, but she wants this more than she ever thought possible. She bites her lip and takes the ring from him, sliding on to her left ring finger.
It's too big, she has such slim fingers, and there's no way it will stay on she tries not to laugh, but it does look a little silly and she's relieved when he chuckles. "It's probably a sign" he sighs.
"A sign?" She lifts an eyebrow looking at him, willing him to lift his eyes to her.
"That maybe this isn't the best course of action." He says slowly, just looking at her hand with the too big diamond ring.
"Rick," she smoothes her hand over his jaw so his eyes lift to hers, "it's beautiful."
"Yeah?" He asks a measure of relief appearing in his eyes.
"Yeah." She swallows hard, because this is going to be harder that she might have hoped. "But maybe while we're getting it sized we sort out some other stuff."
"Other stuff?" He looks really hesitant.
"Come on it's about to rain." She says balling her fist so as not to lose the ring and using her other hand to pull him up. "There's a coffee shop on the corner."
There it is. The beginning of my stab at the start of season 6. Tell me what you think and keep an eye out for the next chapter. I'm quiet aways ahead of this so it should be pretty regular updates.