As i look around me seeing how many people grief a man whom lost his life to young. He has made a big differences in this world. Ben miller Died a hero. Putting his life at stake for others. "I see his Mother She wore a black veil over her face "as she Morns over her sons death. "her husband try's to hold her still trying not to break down himself for her sake. I see Bens sister "holding on to her son as he cries on the hem of his mothers dress. Ben would always share story's of his nephew, of how close they were. it's a cloudy Monday on the day we buried Ben. All of his cousins lost in memories. staring at the shiny black of his casket. Everyone here is doesn't sharing much in common. But today we all share the loss of Ben.
at the corner of my eye I see a tall man with brown hair and eyes "breathtakingly handsome he looks around his early 20s "he looks sad tortured "i wonder if he was close to Ben.
After the service I say my goodbyes to Bens family "thank you for coming Lindy "Veronica bens sister says to me" "Do mind giving me a minute I say to her "sure she says
"I know we weren't together long but "I really cared about you Ben. when I got the call from your sister that you were gone...unable to finish that sentence after losing everyone I've known. "I'm really really going to miss you Ben. We all are going to miss you Goodbye Ben "I say to his casket with tears rolling down my face "Ben was a good cop "a deep voice comes from behind me " I turn my head to see that voice belongs to the guy I seen earlier who is now standing right next to me "his problem was he got to emotionally involved "We need more men like him in this world "I say "I was bens partner "he says "I was his girlfriend" I say "I know we haven't officially met but ben would talk about you all the time he wouldn't shut up "he says with a chuckle "Lindy I say "Tommy he says "looking at the ground "Nice officially meeting you he says walking away "without giving me a chance to respond.
Alright George I'm leaving "I say to my coworker "You need some thing Lindy? "George asks me "No but thanks for the offer I appreciate it" I say walking out of the office. The past week flew by going to work than going home. The only excitement I get is going grocery shopping "on my way home I decide to stop by my favorite coffee shop to get some coffee "I walk over to the counter and place my order "as the lady hands me my coffee and change "a farmiiar voice calls my name "I turn around to To see the guy I met at the funeral "Lindy is it? "um yea " I say moving away from the counter" how are you "he asks "I don't say anything". "he takes pity on me nods his head towards a table "wanna sit down "he asks "sure I say "Tommy sits aross from me "relaxing his large frame"so are you a detective to? "I ask him "yeah me and Ben grew up together. "He says with snort "when we were little we'd always dream of being cops thinking it's the answer to everything he says lost in his own words "he licks his perfect lips. a glimpse of his tongue pokes out
"I'm not doing well "I say answering his question earlier "We used to come here a lot. Every where I go I'm reminded of him. it's impossible to walk in some where without Remembering being there with him". "that's a part of the package of losing someone. Every where you go your always reminded of them" he says.
I lost my mom before graduation... During collage my sister gone missing... My dead beat dad didn't care enough to notice. he was always to drink to remember anything months went by and she was still missing it was February when I got the call from the police that she was found dead in a bath tub motel in road island... I say. " His face intense with all the information I'd just dropped on him. I didn't know him. I didn't really understood why I shared so much personal information with him. "I'm sorry to hear that. Your a strong girl you've been through a lot "sorry to drop all of that on you I usually don't share my pity storie with anyone "don't be sorry I don't think your looking for pity"he says softly. Since the short time I've met him or heard him speak that was the first time I've heard him spoke gentle with his words "how long have you lived in New York "he ask "reaching out his big hand for his coffee "I'm from jersey I moved here recently. I got a scholarship to NYU "Smart girl" he says "Not really "I shrug tucking hair loose behind my ear "i disagree "he says intrigued "have you been a detective long "I ask "for as long as I can remember". if I could label him it'd be imitating he hasn't said anything that made me feel that way but by the way he carries him self that I can tell. him and Ben are like day and night nothing alike I couldn't imagine them being so close "you too were close you and Ben" "since we were kids" he says answering my question "we just stare at each other not breaking silence "he looks like the man who would give your mother a heart attack if you brought him home. Troubled with more issues than a magazine. All wrapped up in a born and raised New Yorker. Finally i break our little staring contest "He stands up "would you mind if I walk you home "I wouldn't want you to go through the trouble it's fine "I say "it's no trouble "he nods his head towards the door "I throw my coffee in the trash "I look over to see him by the door hands on his hips. There was something very sensual about the way he did that like he was waiting for me to swoon in response, I walk out the door knowingly that he's going to follow behind "where to"he says "straight this way "do you live around here "bout a couple blocks "so hard to believe that he lived so close and I never seen him around Im pretty sure if I seen him before I would remember" we walk in silence we looks once again lost in though "do you have a roommate "he ask finally breaking the awkward silence "no I live alone "I answer "once we reach my apartment "this is me "I say giving him a shy smile. he looks like he's trying to find the right word than he finally decides "have a good night" good choice of words "goodnight" I respond "he waits for me to open my door not following me up the stairs. I turn back once the doors open "night" Goodnight Lindy " he says walking away"
Once in bed I start to think about him how he felt so mysterious so unlike Ben. Ben was an open book if my mom was around I'm 100% sure he'd pass the "good enough for my daughter test" he was never a challenge he was safe... And safe felt perfect not having to guess what he's thinking not being scared and asking what does he want, Ben would always make his intentions crystal clear. He didn't like playing games he was say it was childish and he'd say it didn't get him anywhere but confused himself. he knew my issues and he always played it safe... Tears rolled down my eyes thinking about how much I miss him. I hate myself for knowing that I missed him more in of a friendly way instead of a romantically way, Ben knew How I felt. one night we rushed things to far he was a nice enough guy to give me time we put on hold Romantic things for so long "he wanted to wait till I was ready, he knew that things might never charge he told me he didn't care id told him on more than one accession that I was far to damaged and he deserved the best, he told me he didn't care if I never felt that way he just wanted to be in my life for what ever way he could. he knew I needed him more of a friend than anything. Sure we would kiss and cuddle sometimes but we only had sex one time. It was that night we rushed things. Why couldn't I be satisfied with simple? Why did I long for mystery and danger "Tommy was anything but simple I didn't need to know him longer to know that he was a tough cookie to crack I just didn't think I wanted to get involved with that. " as I feel asleep "I was reminded of Tommys heavenly sent "of a musky leather and fresh linen with a hint of cologne "his large frame and strong arms haunted me. I groaned against my pillow "Go away" "after thirty minutes of trying to make him go away I just gave up its not like it's any harm to just have a innocent dream
anyway...